umang @umkalra Twitter profile

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umang

@umkalra

3 days

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umang

@umkalra

3 years

society is a scam made up by sociologists to sell more sociology

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@umkalra

2 years

did you guys know about this?

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@umkalra

10 months

how do you decide if you want to do a phd. is it out of sadness

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@umkalra

2 years

I once met an Indian kid in Edinburgh with the fakest fake accent I’ve ever heard, repeatedly insisting that his name is “Warren” even when I kept being like dude I’m Indian tell me your real name. Then I heard from someone else his name was Varun and I cried

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@umkalra

2 months

Of course Indians at *Columbia* probably come from significant privilege. They are using this privilege well at the encampment. I am confused by the rhetoric that coming from wealth disqualifies people from doing the right thing.Why do we keep acting like solidarity is impossible

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@umkalra

1 month

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

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@umkalra

4 months

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@umkalra

5 years

nobody: delhi airport:👌🏼🤘🏼✌🏼🤟🏼🤙🏼🤚🏼🖖🏼👋🏼🤞🏼

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@umkalra

5 years

YA literature is important because it’s one of the only kinds of media where teenagers and young people are portrayed as complexly as they see themselves, and most wholesale criticisms of YA as a genre are rooted misogynistic hatred of teenage girls finding empowerment

cope

@cdcxpe

5 years

What’s your hottest literature take?

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@umkalra

1 month

I understand the sentiment behind this kinda thing but I find it interesting that the “you” being addressed and the act of “reading theory” is precluded and understood as mutually exclusive from any of the archetypical “oppressed” individuals mentioned as rhetorical props

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@loveologian

1 month

you can read theory day and night, but a garments worker in bangladesh, a surrogate in india, a schoolgirl in afghanistan, a young woman in iran, a pregnant woman in poland, a woman in an abusive marriage in the philippines-- they will understand oppression more keenly than you.

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@umkalra

2 years

Usse dikh jayege tweet yaar bas karo

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@umkalra

4 years

remember when u could say to someone “bhai tu bahar mil” :(

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@umkalra

2 months

very confusing to see ostensibly leftist people complain about student activists doing student activism because apparently their families are bjp supporters. they are actively pushing against that legacy of bigotry, would you rather they didn't?

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@umkalra

6 months

Very odd thing to tweet right now when the current call for a strike was made by two Palestinian people who are in Gaza and they chose this particular day and method and called on us to follow it.

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@umkalra

2 years

they should make pubs for girls where they play grey’s anatomy instead of sports

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@umkalra

3 years

btw greta thunberg’s stance is important bc it illustrates how shallow and short sighted the white environmentalist struggle is. they want a future for white kids only.

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@umkalra

3 months

india wants MY P U S SY to know ! IN B I O

Slieve Malkmus

@ThomasSilken

3 months

i want to kill MY P U S S Y myself I N B I O

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@umkalra

4 years

when social distancing was invented

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@umkalra

2 years

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@umkalra

4 years

@ClintSmithIII The Kite Runner

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@umkalra

7 months

my friend’s boyfriend is also my friend bc I’m normal hope this helps

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@umkalra

5 years

Does anyone remember how a hindi dubbed version of Jurassic park had the translation of “holy shit” as “pavitra tatti”. I think about that a lot

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@umkalra

1 month

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

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@umkalra

2 years

@hairshirtwearer Yeah

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@umkalra

2 years

the present tense? yeah it fucking is

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@umkalra

15 days

see I’m allowed to say it. Spivak was an absolutely slimey little bitch to that guy and was a casteist classist and arrogant freak. however that guy responding by going completely mask off w his misogyny makes him, also, a raging bitch. nuance is legal! hope this helps

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@umkalra

4 years

having a white therapist is really funny because she is like “maybe there is a field in India near your house where you can meet your friends and all bring your own lunches”

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@umkalra

3 years

madarchod LSE rejected my financial aid application can I get an elizabeth randi kohinoor wapas kar bhadwi in the chat

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@umkalra

3 months

Fuck em!!!

umang

@umkalra

3 months

@rashaabdulhadi @GuernicaMag Omg I have pending work, withdrawing now! Thank you for flagging this

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@umkalra

4 months

I am going to say this again. NOBODY deserves this, and using the arbiter of citizenship to draw an imaginary moral line is not going to help anyone. People protesting (and fighting) for a better world do not owe you legality.

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@umkalra

5 years

perfectly normal and okay for a man accused of sexual harassment to individually and publicly name his accusers who had chosen to stay anonymous. we should 100% trust his intentions. women should 100% have to scrape and beg forgiveness for small lapses in memory. totally normal

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@umkalra

5 years

you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

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@umkalra

1 month

It’s true that experience with the might of capital will equip you more to understand it. It is odd to consider people who experience this 1. Outside of the (amorphous, broad, unnamed) audience you are addressing and 2. Necessarily not reading theory, for some reason?

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@umkalra

2 years

and is this “poetry community” in the room with us right now?

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@umkalra

4 years

What about the people whose homes were burnt in the pogrom last month, what about migrant labourers who have no way to return home, what about people who live day to day and don’t have enough food for three weeks (which is the majority of the country)

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@umkalra

2 months

Thinking back to December 2019 in Delhi. None of us are free until all of us are free. A free Kashmir and a free Palestine in our lifetime.

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@umkalra

10 months

fascinated w “productivity culture” there are these people whose whole aim in life seems to be “productivity”. They listen to podcasts abt it, read books abt it, create content abt it. It’s a never ending cycle of being “productive” but to what end lmao

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umang

@umkalra

2 months

🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿Salman Toor & Ali Sethi🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

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umang

@umkalra

3 years

Lowkey got into my dream masters @ LSE :-)

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@umkalra

7 months

RUPI KAUR I WAS NOT FAMILIAR WITH YOUR GAME

rupi kaur

@rupikaur_

7 months

I received an invite from the Biden administration for a Diwali event being held by the VP on nov 8. I decline any invitation from an institution that supports the collective punishment of a trapped civilian population—50% of whom are children.

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@umkalra

2 years

we made focaccia, here it is pre baking

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@umkalra

11 months

polyamorous person: I think it’s cool to feel everything you’re feeling and try to hold those emotions rather than stamp them out, I don’t think jealousy is wrong or bad random internet person: you are in a hostage situation. I am coming to get you. you need to be rescu

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@umkalra

4 years

My white best friend just said “whatsapp rules India”. She is right. Good morning bitches

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@umkalra

2 months

I took almost no photos of myself as a teenager bc I didn’t like how I looked and my mom always told me I’d regret it and she was exactly right. Take photos!!!!

Ashley Reese

@offbeatorbit

2 months

One of my bitchier beliefs is that most people who shy away from photos now will regret it later. Especially if they don’t have many photos of themselves with their loved ones. They’re all gonna die. You’re gonna die. And stupid photos is all you and your loved ones will have : )

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@umkalra

3 years

will the bisexual couch be in the gay cafe

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@umkalra

5 years

“Please do not harass the people I am harassing. Here are screenshots of them discussing chips which shows my accusers had the ulterior motive of wanting to join an exclusive in group. BUT they thought they were contributing to the greater good. PLEASE don’t harass them.”

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@umkalra

2 months

@mikesnosense The black and white reverse colouring in the posts I’m out of it

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@umkalra

5 years

There’s a big difference between speaking candidly about your mental health and weaponising mental illness to manipulate an audience. Fuck Tanmay Bhatt

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@umkalra

5 years

BEING IN LOVE IS VERY COOL AND FUN EXCEPT WHEN U HAVE TO BE FAR AWAY FROM THEM, THAT ISNT COOL OR FUN AT ALL, IT IS ABSOLUTE GARBAGE, SEND TWEET

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@umkalra

3 years

“I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.” - Paris Geller

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@umkalra

3 years

wondering how much of my life I’ve spent pretending not to have a crush on people I absolutely did have a crush on

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@umkalra

2 months

My theory is they auctioned out this spot and Charlie puth was the highest bidder

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@G0DNEYS

2 months

and they go crazy for this writing like???

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@umkalra

5 years

Taylor swift suddenly doing interviews again and saying shit like trump is gaslighting America sounds like she’s showed up late to an exam and the only prep she’s done is a furious scroll through Instagram feminist pages run by bombay teenagers who do shit like gun control march

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@umkalra

2 years

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@umkalra

3 years

i'm sick of the kind of framing that says covid in developing countries is a problem because it will affect people in the US and Europe. it's a problem because people are fucking suffering and dying, not because their suffering *might* impact you. it's so dehumanising

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@umkalra

5 months

I’m rlly mad at this bc I thought he was something pure, like photoshop

zach silberberg

@zachsilberberg

5 months

mista chedda was the only good AI image. we needed to pack it up after him

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@umkalra

3 months

This helped me articulate in my mind that in addition to an act of heroic, extraordinary bravery, Aaron Bushnell’s martyrdom was also an act of extraordinary love — for fellow humans, for Palestinians specifically, for his comrades to whom he gave the gift of moral clarity.

Danya

@dandoon_danya

3 months

the kids here in my orbit in palestine have been deeply impacted by what aaron did, i hope that matters to you all in the imperial core.

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@umkalra

3 months

░E░L░E░C░T░O░R░A░L░ ░B░O░N░D░S░ ░I░N░ ░S░P░R░E░A░D░S░H░E░E░T░

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@umkalra

6 months

@mikromoons I read a story at the time of an elderly woman who passed away from shock at the news because she had recently condensed all her life savings into a single 1000 rupee note.

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@umkalra

5 years

I once met a DPS kid at a party and our first reaction to each other was trying to convince the other that our DPS was the worst DPS Then I told my other DPS friend this story and her reaction was to try to convince me her DPS was the worst DPS

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@umkalra

6 months

Using “Instagram infographic” pejoratively here is also weird given social media is about the only effective means of coordinating international actions that Palestinians have right now

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@umkalra

7 months

This means a lot a lot a lot to me, listening to this right now and feels insanely dreamy Thank you so much for choosing my poem Free Palestine 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

Kamran Javadizadeh

@kjavadizadeh

7 months

I talked with the great Hanif Abdurraqib ( @NifMuhammad ) about "Job Security," a poem by Umang Kalra ( @umkalra )—and about what it means even to be having these conversations right now.

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@umkalra

3 years

good news everyone, I have decided once again to get a grip

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@umkalra

1 year

soft launching my hand modeling career w the love of my life, these rings were the best £6 I’ve ever spent

cian

@ctol_

1 year

microdosing marriage by going ✈️ civil partnership mode with the most wonderful, kind, and loving person I've ever known love you always, @umkalra

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@umkalra

3 years

I love my silly little room

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@umkalra

3 years

I will crush on people who live in other countries but I match w someone who lives in faridabad and I’m like bas zyaada hogaya

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@umkalra

2 months

this guilt by association bs thing is reaching ridiculous and nonsensical extremes

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@umkalra

5 years

dragged myself out the house because I was depressed now I’m just depressed outside

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@umkalra

10 months

"why can't we believe in the pretend you've created" is revolutionary

Beaver Magazine!

@thebeavermag

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@umkalra

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@umkalra

2 years

“The amount of fear / I am ok with / is insane.”

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@umkalra

2 years

love books. would love to read one someday

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@umkalra

7 months

I was in fact so real for this

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@umkalra

6 months

Usually I would agree but the current strike effort is was an active choice by people undergoing a genocidal occupation.

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@umkalra

5 years

idk man a lot of us grew up slightly nationalist but as a full grown adult in twenty nineteen if you have even a shred of consideration left for the idea of “the union of India” you’re a fascist and if you have a problem with that then interrogate your violent beliefs

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@umkalra

1 year

gave notice for our civil partnership ceremony yesterday!

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@umkalra

5 years

totally chill and non concerning behaviour that he’s making a days-long spectacle of this. absolutely fuck this and fuck anyone who is invalidating an entire movement based on the fact that he decided to dox his accusers.

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@umkalra

3 months

i was insane for this

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@umkalra

4 years

anyway I turned 22 surrounded by my friends and cake and uno and scented candles and it felt soft and peaceful. goodnight

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@umkalra

3 months

love tweets that are like "imagine explaining this to someone who isn't chronically online" bc i do it everyday. i explain every single meme in great detail to my mother. yesterday i explained who trisha paytas is. if you're pure of heart then anything is possible

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@umkalra

5 years

Ok why is tailor maruti swift so obsessed with being a teenager madam you are like 32

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@umkalra

2 months

what do u people think a manic episode is

mack

@themackmackey

2 months

finally an answer to the question “what would a manic episode sound like if it was produced by jack antonoff”

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@umkalra

9 months

Arundhati Roy ….

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@umkalra

2 months

The mangalsutra bit is so fucking chilling, a clear insinuation to referring to Muslim men as rapists preying on hindu “mata aur behene” It sounds hollow but please vote. This is genocidal rhetoric backing up genocidal actions that have already occurred under this man’s govt

Nehr_who?

@Nher_who

2 months

Modi calls Muslims as infiltrators and mocks them for having kids. PM of a country giving hate speech against minorities, While @ECISVEEP sleeps

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@umkalra

1 year

recognising and honouring your trauma is good but I’m quite resentful of the weird internet culture full of people who like to wallow in misery and pretend they have no agency over their lives or emotions — a culture that I have too often bought into!

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@umkalra

2 years

happy birthday to @ellomelissa who wrote one of my favourite poems ever

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@umkalra

3 years

going ✈️ they/them for now thanks

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@umkalra

3 months

I want to talk a bit about the use of “mental health” as a reactionary tool by Zionists in response to Aaron Bushnell’s martyrdom. When zionists (and others on the right) taxonomise someone as “mentally ill”, they flatten their personhood into a neat set of symptoms and 1/

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@umkalra

2 years

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@umkalra

5 years

desi households are so annoying because you can’t just go have a lil cry by yourself without being interrogated, prodded, yelled at, ridiculed, questioned. privacy is a foreign concept and ppl feel entitled to your whole personhood

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@umkalra

3 years

i hope all my crushes stop being cowards and tell me they have a crush on me also. it is june and i'm tired of being brave, etc

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@umkalra

4 years

the rumours r true

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@umkalra

7 months

I was once defending my abusive ex to my therapist and being like yeah it’s not so bad like I can manage and she was like “you can handle a lot. what you can handle and survive is not a measure of what is acceptable” 👍🏼

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@umkalra

3 years

my mama makes amazing cakes and you should order from her and follow her on Instagram

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@umkalra

7 months

I love how people are like “I can’t believe they are firing me from talking about a genocide!” like babe they are doing a genocide, why did you think firing you was outside the realm of possibility

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@umkalra

8 months

@_pem_pem Hey,w respect, if youve seen israels open air prisons, gone for coffee next to their walls then that should doubly inoculate you from the moral incoherence of needing to declare empathy for the people who built and continue to maintain them

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@umkalra

4 months

swifties are gonna be like 🧐 how many minutes? 🔍

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@umkalra

2 years

happy pride fuckos

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@umkalra

4 years

This is classed genocide. People are going to die. You give 1.3 billion people 4 hours notice of a national lockdown with no time or means to access essential rations or resources for that time. How many people can’t afford more than 1-2 days groceries at once

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@umkalra

2 years

In my reading, the happily during the war poem was initially a self-indictment of guilt and the recognition of its futility, and notably, the helplessness surrounding it. It has turned into a validating cry instead, justifying inaction and complicity. Lol

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