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The Register

@TheRegister

3 years

Radioactive hybrid terror pigs have made themselves a home in Fukushima's exclusion zone

Radioactive hybrid terror pigs have made themselves a home in Fukushima's exclusion zone

Human resettlement after 2011's nuclear disaster facing opposition from indestructible, betusked interlopers

www.theregister.com

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5 years

Congrats, you're now a blockrain company.

Neeraj K. Agrawal

@NeerajKA

5 years

My friend’s entire company is locked out of their WeWork office because an umbrella fell, jamming the door. No one can figure it out. It’s been like this for 2 days.

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4 years

2020 should not have been pushed to prod.

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2 years

Looks like Britain's embracing a Zero Truss architecture

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6 years

When Intel says "this isn't a bug" what it really means is "please don't make us recall millions of faulty processors"

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11 months

The Windows XP activation algorithm has been cracked

Windows XP activation algorithm cracked, keygen updated

The unkillable OS rises from the grave… Again

www.theregister.com

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@TheRegister

7 years

OK sure, WikiLeaks Stasi Force, we’ll go first. Here’s our address: 123 Go Fuck Yourself Street San Francisco, CA 🇺🇸

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@TheRegister

2 years

RIP: Kathleen Booth, the inventor of assembly language

Builder and programmer of the ARC and SEC turned 100 this year

www.theregister.com

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6 years

Fun fact: Intel has ignored every request for comment and clarification we made this week. AMD + Arm responded with info. Arm doubly so.

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@TheRegister

6 years

It's been said before, and we'll say it again. If SpaceX can put its Falcon and Falcon Heavy prices on its website, you can damn well put the prices on your god damn enterprise support webpages.

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@TheRegister

6 years

Intel CPUs have a security bug that's forced Linux, Windows kernel redesigns. The fix was almost named FUCKWIT

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6 years

Yesterday, in a tweet, we poked fun at the #PHP programming language. We apologize, and completely understand why so many were upset by the remark. After all, if we had to write PHP code all day, we'd be cranky, too.

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6 years

COME BACK SPARC, MIPS – ALL IS FORGIVEN.

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4 years

Good on @Cloudflare to encourage social distancing by distancing everyone from the internet

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2 years

Authentication providers getting pwned by ransomware gangs is not the zero-trust future we had in mind

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5 years

Wow, fancy that. Web ad giant Google to block ad-blockers in Chrome. For safety, apparently

How many ad blocks could an ad slinger block if an ad slinger could block blocks?

www.theregister.com

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The Register

@TheRegister

3 years

If you're a WhatsApp user, you'll have to share your personal data with Facebook from next month – and no, you can'…

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3 years

Computer security world in mourning over death of Dan Kaminsky, aged 42

DEF CON hails 'an icon in all the positive ways'

www.theregister.com

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4 years

Super-leaker Snowden punts free PDF* of tell-all NSA book with censored Chinese parts restored, underlined

Super-leaker Snowden punts free PDF* of tell-all NSA book with censored parts about China restored,...

* In Simplified Chinese

www.theregister.com

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@TheRegister

3 months

European Court of Human Rights declares backdoored encryption is illegal

European human rights court says no to weakened encryption

Surprising third-act twist as Russian case means more freedom for all

www.theregister.com

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The Register

@TheRegister

7 years

To avoid hackers, ensure you use lower and uppercase characters, and at least one symbol, in your social security number #equifaxadvice

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@TheRegister

4 years

Atlassian scrambles to fix zero-day security hole accidentally disclosed on Twitter

Exposed private cert key may also be an issue for IBM Aspera

www.theregister.com

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7 years

Exec: What do you do all day? IT: Fix computers. Exec: But they're not broken IT: Precisely.

David Andress

@ProfDaveAndress

7 years

This is a very important general point: people are far too inclined to believe that a crisis averted was never a crisis at all.

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6 years

Several hours of quizzing by US senators, and yet no one has asked #Zuckerberg : PHP? Really?

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6 years

@mlinde @lemiorhan @SwiftOnSecurity @AppleSupport @Apple It works for us. This is not gr8.

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5 years

Correction time: Sorry everyone, we've been wrong all along. Password and username = 2FA. We regret this error.

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6 years

We translated Intel's crap attempt to spin its way out of CPU security bug PR nightmare

As Linus Torvalds lets rip on Chipzilla

www.theregister.com

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3 years

Hey, so is this a good time to talk about hybrid cloud or

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7 years

Microsoft hits new low: threatens to axe Paint from Windows 10

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7 years

Check out this amazing AI that can count to 10: fn main() { for i in 1..11 { println!("{}", i); } }

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6 years

And so it begins. Fetching, for example, the website of US newspaper Arizona Daily Star [ ] from Europe results in a 403 Forbidden error, blaming #GDPR

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7 years

'No patient data compromised' in UK NHS ransomware attack. Can’t compromise data if it’s encrypted.

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7 years

Mozilla Bug Of The Week (and it’s only Monday)

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8 years

“DOJ says method used to break into San Bernardino shooter's iPhone only works on this particular phone.”

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@TheRegister

6 years

To the person trying to send what looks like malware to our journalists via SendSpace, just give up. We're not opening confidential_info.exe

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@TheRegister

3 years

It's not DNS. There's no way it's DNS. It was DNS.

Azure Support

@AzureSupport

3 years

⚠️We are aware of an issue affecting the Azure Portal and Azure services, please visit our alternate Status Page here for more information and updates.

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@TheRegister

6 years

We're now just 30 days away from a deluge of 'My month living without Facebook' articles after journos delete their accounts for page views.

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2 years

Linus Torvalds says Rust is coming to the Linux kernel 'real soon now'

Linus Torvalds says Rust is coming to the Linux kernel

Maintainer lack of familiarity won't be an issue, chief insists, citing his own bafflement when faced with Perl

www.theregister.com

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9 years

Universal Pictures finds pirate copy of Jurassic World on 127.0.0.1 - and sends DMCA takedown http://t.co/dqLjAUjMAE http://t.co/P9w9ziALbr

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5 years

Imagine an app that assigned you a ten-plus-digit ID that can be used by any of the app's users to loudly wake up your smartphone so they can speak to you immediately. And you're not sure exactly who knows your unique ID. Would you install that app?

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3 years

Tiananmen Square tank man vanishes from Microsoft Bing, DuckDuckGo, other search engines

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5 years

It's 2024. Your head rests against a cool window. Acid rain trickles down outside. "How much for this article," you ask your editor. "It can't be for free or for 'the exposure'." "We pay in Libra," the AI replies. You sigh. Your breath fogs the window. "I'll take the exposure"

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@TheRegister

6 years

If we really are living in a computer simulation, it's pretty obvious from the state of 2018 that no one kept any working backups.

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3 years

ProtonMail deletes 'we don't log your IP' boast from website after French climate activist reportedly arrested

ProtonMail deletes 'we don't log your IP' boast from website after French climate activist report...

Cops can read the SMTP spec too, y'know

www.theregister.com

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7 years

US media names ex-MI6 agent as source of the CNN/BuzzFeed dossier on Trump. UK media gets a D-Notice…

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5 years

Let's play a game! Your porn star name is your first pet, then your RSA private key We'll go first! Rocky -----BEGIN RSA PRIVATE KEY----- n8aqnSpBAoGBAOSe/kaKPX2UglvQHFpfdkauK4v4YuPCcLBGEKMmoCzuEIl9Z5BjNWtga+hbBK/RDeeqdTHg6Z5e9ln6jpJ/JBF+AlwUVTTAoGANrf8SdKpFAU10CwaJkMsCIy (1/5)

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4 years

Things are getting back to normal: Chinese hackers revert to bugging Tibetans after brief Euro campaign

Things are getting back to normal: Chinese hackers revert to bugging Tibetans after brief Euro...

APT phishing crew had COVID-themed fling with the west during height of pandemic, claim researchers

www.theregister.com

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6 years

That's called being a CEO You've invented being a CEO

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6 years

Linus Torvalds giving Intel both barrels over its CPU bug PR spin 🔥🔥🔥

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7 years

2002: Blogs unite! Print is dead! Web is king! Media sucks! Everyone is a journalist now! 2017: WHERE DID ALL THIS FAKE NEWS COME FROM!!?11

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2 years

Some say we're living in the cursed timeline. But we imagine there is another timeline in which Microsoft has added blockchain support and rebranded its Windows file system to NFTS

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7 years

PACK YOUR BAGS, JULIAN.

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7 years

#Analysis The Investigatory Powers Act allows the State to tell lies in court

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3 years

Airline software super-bug: Flight loads miscalculated because women using 'Miss' were treated as children

Airline software super-bug: Flight loads miscalculated because women using 'Miss' were treated as...

Passenger weight blunder led to wrong thrust used on takeoff, says watchdog

www.theregister.com

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3 years

Florida Man sues Facebook, Twitter, YouTube for account ban

Golf fan has opinions on America's First Amendment and Section 230

www.theregister.com

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6 years

Pro tip: You can log into macOS High Sierra as root with no password

Apple, this is Windows 95 bad – but there is a workaround to kill the bug

www.theregister.com

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The Register

@TheRegister

9 years

Where are all these IPv4 addresses going? Oh. RT @mikeforbes This is the greatest use of the .horse TLD ever. http://t.co/xPN1Vy1yvE

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5 years

>2518AD. Earth is deserted >Daily hustle and bustle replaced by cries of mutant wolves >An alien fiddles with cables in a rusting data center >A server crackles to life >Finally, their terminal connects >Onscreen, a box appears: "To view this content, please install Adobe Flash"

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5 years

FYI: Tech journalist Peter Bright, @DrPizza , who covered software and personal computing for other publications, allegedly attempted to arrange sex with children, according to FBI. He was arrested and charged May 22 and was due in court again this week

Tech reporter charged with soliciting child sex online

He used the app KinkD.

www.dailydot.com

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6 years

Ajit Pai is the Martin Shkreli of technology policy

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6 years

FWIW: Bloomberg has, internally, a zero tolerance for inaccuracies, with several layers of editors checking stories. It is a virtual army of ~2,000 journalists. The Supermicro story today took months to develop. Today's claims and denials are like matter and antimatter colliding

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6 years

God damn, that is stone cold.

jericho

@attritionorg

6 years

CERT brings the harsh truth. #Meltdown #Spectre

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6 years

We go live now to open-source grandee and author Eric S. Raymond for his measured response to this month's horrific high-school shooting – and his views on responsible gun ownership. Eric?

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6 years

Wow that #SpaceX launch, huh? Amazing what you can do with technology when smart folks aren't screwing around making Instagram filters etc

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6 years

Today one of our Macs repeatedly won't pair with its $80 Apple Bluetooth mouse Like fuck are we ever getting into an Apple self-driving car

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5 years

@oliviasolon The spokesperson who said: "On background, no comment," then got upset when we said they had no comment. "But that was on background only, and not for attribution!"

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6 years

Mark #Zuckerberg is perhaps just three minutes away from rolling his head back, and blurting out: "It's just a fucking website! Christ!"

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4 years

Linus Torvalds drops Intel and adopts 32-core AMD Ryzen Threadripper on personal PC

‘My 'allmodconfig' test builds are now three times faster than they used to be’ says Linux overlord

www.theregister.com

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4 years

DevOps from above! US Air Force says new B-21 stealth bomber is running Kubernetes

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7 years

YAHOO! IS! DEAD! * CEO Marissa Mayer quits board * Biz to change name to Altaba * * More to follow

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6 years

> ClientHello < ServerHello < Certificate < ServerKeyExchange < ServerHelloDone > ClientKeyExchange > ChangeCipherSpec < ChangeCipherSpec < gfH87Jk!kLQ43Qqff!d22dJ1JmK Happy National (TLS) Handshake Day, everyone!

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4 years

We don't ask for much from the infosec world but... For the love of God, someone demo a new infected DLL or .so attack so we can finally use this "owning the libs" headline we've been sitting on for months

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2 years

If the leaked screenshots are genuine, we're looking at a total compromise of Uber: * AWS admin access * G Suite admin access, with 1PB of data in use * Slack * Internal finances * VMware vSphere access * Etc

The Register

@TheRegister

2 years

Uber reels from 'security incident’ that appears to have exposed data, cloud systems

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4 years

Free work hack for every reader: Get out of any meeting by claiming you thought the calendar invite was a phishing email. Also works great for messages about deadlines and feature requests.

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8 years

"It looks like you're trying to sign into LinkedIn. Have you upgraded to Windows 10 yet?" #spareus

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6 years

"To view this commit message, please log into your Office 365 account."

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7 years

You went full dictator, man. Never go full dictator.

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

7 years

The FAKE NEWS media (failing @nytimes , @NBCNews , @ABC , @CBS , @CNN ) is not my enemy, it is the enemy of the American People!

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7 years

Thank @MalwareTechBlog for finding and activating a hidden kill switch that stopped the spread of WCry ransomware

74 countries hit by NSA-powered WannaCrypt ransomware backdoor: Emergency fixes emitted by Micros...

All you need to know – from ports to samples

www.theregister.com

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7 years

Number of days since a vendor has asked us to tone down an article

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1 year

Chinese Loongson chips coming in 2023, on par with 2020 x86 kit

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7 years

In a touching tribute to the self-detonating Galaxy Note 7, Samsung’s battery recycling plant exploded

Samsung battery factory bursts into flame in touching Note 7 tribute

Recycling center processing exploding batts itself explodes. How poetic

www.theregister.com

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3 years

FYI: Laptops given to British kids by the UK government to help them learn under lockdown came preloaded with malware, @GazTheJourno reports. We understand a batch of 23,000 GeoBook 1Es running Windows 10 contained the infected units More details:

Laptops given to British schools came preloaded with remote-access worm

Department for Education says: 'We believe this is not widespread'

www.theregister.com

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5 years

Backdoors won't weaken your encryption, wails FBI boss. And he's right. They won't – they'll fscking torpedo it

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6 years

Tucker Carlson always looks like he's trying to figure out a weird compiler error message

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5 years

Friends, we have another Huawei story coming up, and we can't think of anything to top last week's 'I'm on a Huawei to Hell' headline. We fear it may have been our "Marge vs. the Monorail" moment.

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2 years

One wonders why they don't build Cloudflare out of the same stuff as the Cloudflare status page 🤔

Cloudflare

@Cloudflare

2 years

The issue has been identified and a fix is being implemented.

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4 years

Unlike the rest of blue-tick Twitter we weren't hacked But if you want to send us Bitcoin anyway, we'll accept it and in return send you photos of us spending it Feeling: grateful ☺️🙃🤣😇

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6 years

Dear Red Hat staff, congrats on your new home in IBM. This IBM memo may be useful. "Do not interact with [CEO] Ginni or the group unless they approach you first. This means no selfies, no bathroom run-ins, elevator pitches, or water fountain soirees..."

IBM memo to staff: Our CEO Ginni is visiting so please 'act normally!'

Leaked missive insists 'no selfies, no bathroom run-ins or elevator pitches' with Rometty

www.theregister.com

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6 years

Who the hell called it the NASA James Webb Space Telescope and not simply the Webb Cam

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5 years

If a certain investigative reporter could refrain from outing the identity of Register article sources, that would be great. We cannot comment further due to privacy concerns. But, we see you. And what you're doing is, as we say in Blighty, just. not. cricket.

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6 years

Got a feeling that emailing a privacy policy update with 500+ customers CC'd for all to see might just haunt Ghostery. Happy #GDPR Day, indeed.

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1 year

A US judge has dealt a blow to the Internet Archive by granting a motion for summary judgment against the website. This stems from a copyright lawsuit brought by big publishers seeking to shut down the online library and hold the non-profit organization liable for damages

Internet Archive

@internetarchive

1 year

We will appeal. #DigitalRightsForLibraries #EmpoweringLibraries

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6 years

Is your CPU affected by #Meltdown or #Spectre ? CERT has a solution: Replace CPU.

CERT/CC Vulnerability Note VU#584653

CPU hardware vulnerable to side-channel attacks

www.kb.cert.org

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5 years

Correction: We called Mark Zuckerberg a moron. We regret the error. In fact, he and Facebook are a f'king disgrace

Correction: Last month, we called Zuckerberg a moron. We apologize. In fact, he and Facebook are a...

When it said 5 per cent of banned slurp app users were kids, it actually meant much, much more than that

www.theregister.com

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5 years

Airbus A350 software bug forces airlines to turn planes off and on every 149 hours

Patch your darn metal bird, sighs EU aviation agency

www.theregister.com

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6 years

Windows Notepad fixed after 33 years: Now it finally handles Unix, macOS line endings

Windows Notepad fixed after 33 years: Now it finally handles Unix, Mac OS line endings

So happy for you, Microsoft, \r\n

www.theregister.com

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5 years

This is fantastic. You know how YouTube and Netflix love to bug you, asking if you're still watching? Why not bring that magic to tail -f –– with tailflix! by @freezydorito