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@sjmmurdock

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When I was little, I was ostracised by my peers. Mainly for using silly words that no-one understood – such as ''ostracised''.

St Albans, England
Joined March 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
4 years
@Kenzhadley Archaeologists in future: they were best friends.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@doormouse1999 On a TV show in the UK, there were two autistic people on a date. One of them said to the other, "Your eyes are brown like the tree trunks" 😆😆😆🌳
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@br00t4lism Did mine want me before I was born? No. But did they grow to love me more and more every day once I was born? Also no.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
6 years
@RottenTomatoes Can't wait to see what kind of exploring she does when she gets to college.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@NationalGallery @rob_padley Like a donut?
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@tragicbirdapp For anyone who's wondering, this is leg lengthening surgery. The process has, so far, been carried out too quickly for the fibula to regenerate and heal into one piece.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
3 years
@ltssofucked "You're so insecure babe, I just sat on his face as a friend!"
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@sjmmurdock
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@IssyYuv @DustinMorris13 @jerallingham A vast amount of Christmas traditions also come from pagan winter festivals!
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@sjmmurdock
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2 years
@yungskuntebony They need to start breeding chickens with more wings.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
I bet Ryan Andrews would find that submarine, even if they didn't give him any contact info...
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
6 years
@2Cool2Bloggg @terrycrews "The thing that you serve is also the thing that you gotta eat" 💯
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
4 years
@jessicaaawan Similar thing with people saying "P*ki shop" 😠 but thankfully use of that term is getting less and less common.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@finger_man_here @miss_pissyy You can take Viagra if you have trouble keeping it up.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 months
@spacej_me Around your husband 🥰
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@roastmalone_ @houstontxas @amentalrecess Magnetar has never killed anyone, OK?
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@sjmmurdock
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4 years
@elimieralanegra @thatchicasam "I should have worded it differently [...] I stand by my comments..."
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
4 years
@Tesco @WayneInTheSeven He said £2 ;)
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2 years
@DDARERICK @GDCurry318 @2Wild2Crazy Yep! We love to see it.
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@sjmmurdock
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1 year
@eliseisonline @abbygov He doesn't want to "engange" in anything long term.
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2 years
@faizaan_v Three times as popular as the original tweet.
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@sjmmurdock
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2 years
@chanel__ali You're 33 and you're still in fourth grade?!
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1 year
@BabsVan @stanzipotenza I still don't know!
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@sjmmurdock
5 months
@dyingscribe Sounds as though he loves her to the goon and back.
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@sjmmurdock
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2 years
@GODMENACE_ @OGDiesel19 @C4NCERGIRL I wouldn't know, I've never been able to send any.
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@zedonarrival @MariaMBrittof Over 25 is, for DiCaprio, as under six foot is for most women on Twitter.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@itsmegangraves I'm the same, except instead of former lovers, it's just anyone I've met.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@musicstruggles1 Tbf, it was twenty years ago, before the r-word was bad.
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@sjmmurdock
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1 year
@kattenbarge @alannah_siobhan Reminds me of these.
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@sjmmurdock
6 years
@maiaarnott3 And a Fiat 500?
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@coffee4rebecca @buitengebieden She looking at him like he cheating on her 😆
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@sjmmurdock
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@vampyricmoon @Bunny_Froot This is the first time I've seen strawberries grow on trees!
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@Honeysblood @LTHewitt1 @SummerWright_ You say that, but she's posting this now after five years, so...
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
6 years
@joehayhurst @AdamHartScience @rickygervais He's a professor, yet he says "more tricky" rather than 'trickier' 😆
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@thepplsbottom He's sixteen, leave him alone.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
4 years
@leighsrespect @dneelo @lekurokami No-one talks to me, so I have to talk to myself.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@ProperLookout @Fred_Delicious @OneFreshPillow Wait, a third one!?
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1 year
@sirCtheCloud @sonicviotto @doormouse1999 Just trying to help people feel happy 🙏🏾
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
5 years
@rosesbythstairs @queerbirdy If someone don't like tea it's because they don't know how to brew and that, my friends, is the vegetable.
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@WahMartina @bettershepherd @faizaan_v But also true.
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1 year
@genmnz Yeah, so?
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2 years
@BebhinnEilish @reegnkay Booby Mammary Index, hehehe.
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@sjmmurdock
7 years
@zahraakatlan @holy_schnitt This same dialogue happens in a lot of lesbian films.
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@hiremep1s I know what you mean, I just wanted to be loved when I was nineteen. Not much has changed tbh!
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@ayesheeet Similar thing with a girl I've been talking to.
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@AdahMommy @kennedy_kala @abstractlyaly @De_Here @simsimmaaz It's true, my aunt kept grabbing my butt at my uncle funeral (not the one that married her) so I told her off in front of everyone & she stopped. Although she did guilt trip me when she "apologised". Won't happen again though cos now she dead as well, hehe.
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@squiliamfancy @gogoadaggio Infidelity, abuse, and gaslighting are apparently good qualities now.
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@sjmmurdock
3 years
@HunterFelt @haphillips96 Same energy.
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@sjmmurdock
7 years
@hayleyxsavannah @errthingdijah @TheSeanODonnell Because the one with the photo gets retweeted, new people see it everyday, then they scroll down, & see yours.
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1 year
@Chinchillazllla @stanimorph I thought that said "penises" and was expecting a bug with several penises to exist.
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@sjmmurdock
9 years
@anygirlfriday "They now drive".
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@PupyDogEyes @vernsmeow @8scoups Either that or another unexpected side effect of baby bear receiving a COVID jab.
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@WomenPostingLs She talking about that thing as though she was making food and forgot to turn the cooker on.
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@333corvidae @fayemikah I didn't even know there was a TIRM for that.
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
Look at these fucking glow in the dark squirrens!
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@ClaireCok @geedawgggg @xoxosullengirl I think that's the kindest thing anyone's ever said to me 🥹
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@___Terrell @FlyTheDemon @sourdrugs @sadchichi @waddaflip Penis Enlarged Masquerading Daily As Short
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@WomenPostingLs What did she expect? She all but said he's not her type 😆
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@jamiiierosexx @ACMru_ @threetinystars Are UK now Jamie?
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@OshelleParr It might be from before paternity testing when being with a virgin was the only way for a man to ensure he was the true father.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@DiscussingFilm Did anyone else expect the woman to be the victim? That plot twist made me realise I had subconsciously made a wrongful assumption 😳
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
3 years
@m0mimpregnant My hand, I mean.
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
3 years
@TamingMyImpala @nickil0deon This number of likes though!
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@sjmmurdock
6 years
@Deniswoods565 @flowerstclair *Denis
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8 years
@DevonnBuri @chalicebunnin Well, they're both similar in that I've done neither :/
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@b_l_e_xx Perhaps just a different type of paving slab with a different coating.
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@SUCCESSl0N Can't wait to have kids with a woman as a friend, and then share the work of bringing them up together 🥺
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@sjmmurdock
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@boobbeard @IchigoGirlxo @Pina94T @_Michadelic @_faghetti_ @CRABRANG00NSLUT Thank you for your ball-positivity, boob beard.
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@fesshole I've always done that. It doesn't lather properly the first time. I actually bought a slightly cheaper shampoo for the first wash to avoid wasting my fancy shampoo on prewashes.
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@sjmmurdock
8 years
@MeninistTweet Poor guy :(
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@muni_d1 @DrRitaIssa You can't lick them though 😳
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@ElBlackPhillipp @churchofysl How the hell did they get away with that 😠
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@real_lord_miles Holding hands. They friends! Maybe even best friends 🥹
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@sjmmurdock
3 years
@katiemedleyy Don't worry, there are daytime murderers as well x
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@DienekesGhost @English_Heathen @Nizoodu68 @fatcatfred4 @nowthisnews I stand by what I said.
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@sjmmurdock
4 years
@CountessofDimes @leighsrespect @dneelo @lekurokami Oh no, it has always been like that!
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@sjmmurdock
3 years
@jenmariaa @greetinghimeros Two more for you all.
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2 years
@English_Heathen @Nizoodu68 @fatcatfred4 @nowthisnews I noticed that too! Probably too scared to cry in case Karen calls the police again 😒
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1 year
@YOUFlRST Fucking hell, of f it had been a guy who was arrested in a hotel where a girlband was staying...
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@paula_lxrsson @monse_sevillab Hehe.
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@coqumragep279 @hungcorny @lostinhist0ry That's just how people talk nowadays, though.
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@sjmmurdock
4 years
@babyscrambles Sorry if you've been through this. I've been told several times I'm too skinny to date, but I can't put on muscle without damaging my weak joints, and if I try to eat more, it just goes straight to my belly with my arms and legs like strands of spaghetti. Sucks, doesn't it :/
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3 years
@inhaler540 "She was the 6'4 of boobs."
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@sjmmurdock
5 years
@EastRenaissance My ex's Catholic mum used to go through her tampons in her bin to make sure she had gotten her period.
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@sjmmurdock
3 years
@qikipedia I have just as much money as a rich person, my banknotes have simply shrunk to the extent that they are invisible to the naked eye.
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@sjmmurdock
1 year
@lacroixcommie @dogfightin That's where the name comes from: ACME rearranged spells CAME.
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@sjmmurdock
3 years
@BaghdadCocaCola @PoliticsForAlI Like the Catholic Church and children 😞
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@sjmmurdock
2 years
@krispsandwich @dontg0dark What why not!?
4
4
95
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
2 years
@tweetbiblee Furnace is a metaphor for booty hole and gnashing of teeth is what some people do while having sex.
0
0
93
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
6 years
@cassidi_hale @c8linduhh Same, but small penus, big heart.
3
2
97
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
4 years
@Boardgame_girl1 @HeavyCardboard @PELawson1 @blink182 My cat brought me a mouse once - it's the thought that counts :)
5
2
95
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
7 years
@kamsangelina_ @cutedawg Eighteen now!
1
5
81
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
3 years
@YardzOfLinen This one is the best 😂
Tweet media one
1
4
94
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
1 year
@incel_stalker @Madam_Boonn @K1llrzzZ @_DuxNet @CannotHaveSex @ch4rgerm4n She didn't say he was attractive, just that he wasn't ugly.
2
1
94
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
7 years
@DaniEmilyx Luckily, women never cheat.
0
17
93
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
6 years
I'm about to go HAM! H - home A - and M - cry
0
44
98
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
2 years
@SweetieBitters @zaedeshaun @beautteaful So you don't have plans then?
1
0
92
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
6 years
@miikkaa___ @LILCUTTENDON @KINGPR1NCESS Man opens up about his childhood & you post a sarcastic gif like that. Then people wonder why men never express feelings & blame "toxic masculinity" instead of being kinder to them when they're vulnerable.
1
1
87
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
3 years
@_SarahEsther @chuqtas @rebeccamakkai @Paul_Bettany What is giggling if not humour persevering?
0
0
93
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
2 years
@AllHailKodos @RosieisaHolt I interpret this as him saying he is an incel, but just not involved with many community activities, such as the annual incel jumble sale.
4
0
93
@sjmmurdock
Top 0.1% (of GCSE results) 
@sjmmurdock
4 years
@jkanter2 @TimJDillon Well, you'd have to support her, otherwise she'd fall over!
2
2
88