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@itsmegangraves

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985
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streamer, slut, certified hottie ❤️‍🔥 my comedy special Don’t Sleep With Comedians is out now on YouTube 💖 🪩✨

Maryland, USA
Joined March 2020
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@itsmegangraves
big honkin caboose
6 months
My full comedy special Don’t Sleep With Comedians is now on YouTube 🥰💖🪩
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
*throws up after drinking 10 mimosas* omg random I hope I’m not pregnant
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
When will I learn that smoking as much as possible before I go to the airport won’t keep me high for my entire flight it’ll just make going through security Terrifying
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
Every single retail job I’ve ever had explicitly told us to not go after shoplifters so when you hear stories of someone harming a shoplifter where they work they’re not doing that “to protect the company” they’re doing that bc they want to harm someone
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
I went on a date with a girl and we ran into her friend and she was like “just you two tonight? omg girls night!!!”
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
NEED SOMEONE TO FILM AN ONLYFANS VID WITH ME: You pretend to be a mover helping me get my things from one apartment to the other. I wear a tiny sundress and you don’t touch me you just move my things. This does not pay
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
“I’d never date someone with an OnlyFans” that’s such a shame bc I was really hoping to go out with a boring insecure loser
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
I’m not sure who made this but it’s art
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
My doorbell broke and my landlord said he’d get me a ring doorbell as long as he could also use it to see when the other tenant in my building comes and goes bc he’s on an “affordable housing” plan and hasn’t paid rent in months so I bought a $10 doorbell with no camera
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@itsmegangraves
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8 months
Can someone ANTM fade out all the men with sexual assault allegations I just wanna see somethin
@SOTSPodcast
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8 months
emo roman empire
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
In defense of Grease, nerd girls becoming bad bitches and bad boys becoming simps is actually the path to a perfect society
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
Today I saw a pussy that didn’t look exactly like mine. Here’s why I think people should die about it 🧵(1/67)
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@itsmegangraves
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8 months
people who claim they would make bank doing sex work but “respect themselves too much” or “don’t want to take the easy way out” would fail miserably and be humbled within a week or less
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
telling you to put a towel down so I don’t ruin your sheets and then crawling into bed with a piping hot bowl of french onion soup
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
Last night I told a guy he looked like he listened to Fall Out Boy and he was like “what’s your name again?” and when I told him he leaned over and said “Megan, can you do me a favor? Can you fucking shoot me?”
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
Hey I saw you on the internet and I think your vibes are terrible. I am in love with you
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
If you know what my p*ssy feels like I have the right to send you absolutely any meme at absolutely any time for the rest of my life and I plan to live forever
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
Imagine getting mad at Halle Berry for being naked
@Shadaya_Knight
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒂𝒍𝒕 𝑶𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑬𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒉
1 year
Imagine being in your 50s, still posting nudes for attention in menopause when you should be chilling with the grandkids. Aging with dignity is no longer a thing
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@itsmegangraves
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8 months
My most cancellable take is that I think this stuff is fine and I cook with it a lot and no one’s ever complained
@InternetHippo
Borscht the T is silent
8 months
Not to get political but this is an abomination. What has become of our country
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
Your honor what’s the move after this like what’s everyone getting into
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
One time I talked about the importance of enthusiastic consent on a podcast with two dudes and they were like oh am I supposed to make everyone I have sex with sign a contract and I was like no just use dirty talk to ask questions and then I had to explain what dirty talk was
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@itsmegangraves
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9 months
bf of almost 2 years f*cked me so hard today that now I’m shy around him again
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
I’ve seen comics shove their foot in their mouth many times in many ways but earlier this week a host wasn’t getting a good crowd response so he said “what, did someone die this week” and someone in the audience replied “yeah like ten people”
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
Guy I hooked up with months ago texts me every few weeks when he sees a meme about bratz dolls and I’m obsessed with the concept of me he has in his brain
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@itsmegangraves
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10 months
The longer I’ve dated my bf the more they’ve encouraged me to be slutty and confident and love my body and meet my needs however I want and it’s beautiful and I need everyone to know that it exists, please don’t settle for someone who tries to smush you
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
My answer to “where should I cum” is never consistent and always made up in a last minute panic
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
I’m bisexual meaning I wore both hot topic and hollister in middle school
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
Pussy so wet it’s kinda inconvenient
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@itsmegangraves
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7 months
Wild how my last landlord expected my full rent zelled directly into his bank account on the first of every month but I moved out almost two months ago and have had to ask now 4 times for my security deposit back
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
My parents come to as many comedy shows as they can and hearing them laugh at my slutty little jokes means so much to me. Tonight on stage I said I was in the top 1% of OnlyFans and they lead a full applause break
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
In her defense a lot of my “girls nights” do involve making out
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
everyone I had sex with in 2021 was incredibly hot. Great job all around
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@itsmegangraves
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8 months
Do you know how damning the evidence has to be for you to be sentenced to 30 years in prison for sexual assault as a semi famous white guy. that’s their favorite hobby
@PopBase
Pop Base
8 months
Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis wrote letters in support of Danny Masterson, who ended up being sentenced to 30 years in prison for raping two women. Ashton reportedly called him a ‘role model’ while Mila commented on his ‘exceptional character.’
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
My neighbor always brings in my packages for me and has been nothing but kind every time we talk. Hope he stays here forever and never pays rent 💕
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@itsmegangraves
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10 months
What if I said that asking her to delete her OnlyFans would also not be okay
@hollowearthterf
RFH🦎👁‍🗨🪐🌘 ⬛️ (Doctor)
10 months
Too many of you are acting like Jonah Hill was asking this woman to delete her onlyfans or something, her photos were of her surfing, she’s an athlete and this was her job, it wasn’t sexual. Using therapy language to manipulate and control his partner is longhouse behavior.
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
your honor I might be a barbie girl but this is NOT a barbie world
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
I’ll have sex with almost anyone once but if I come back for seconds that’s either a huge compliment to the chef or it means I’m having a really bad day there’s no way to know
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
hot funny incredible woman seeking Some Guy
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
When I worked at Hollister (lol) someone stole some jeans and one of my coworkers CHASED THEM DOWN AND TACKLED THEM and he came back feeling proud but the managers were all like what the fuck are you doing we will literally fire you if you do that again
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
Men are so cool and funny
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
My take here is not “men are bad at sex” it’s that a lot of men are socialized to think asking their partner for their boundaries and needs is more embarrassing than unintentionally violating them when all it takes to avoid violation is a bit of creativity
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@itsmegangraves
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5 months
one of my fav parts of owning a cat is finding them in a spot they’ve never hung out in before I just found mine in the bathtub for the first time in the 5 years I’ve had her like okay girl it’s your world I’m just livin in it
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
Sexual assault is one thing but this academy will not stand for regular assault
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
Told my friend it felt like mustaches were making a comeback and she said “no you’re just dating more people in their 30s”
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@itsmegangraves
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11 months
hehe
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@feminterrupted
mother earth 🫒
11 months
fuck most liked tweet what was your most hated tweet. a tweet that ppl bothered u about for DAYS & sent u threats over. i probably have like 30
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
The only time I’ve ever performed in Nashville I saw a guy tell some of the most disturbing rape jokes I’ve ever heard then get upset when I wouldn’t sit next to him, he followed me to a second location harassing me and when I swung on him I became the problem in that scene
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
Like absolutely not
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@itsmegangraves
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7 months
I really truly from the bottom of my heart hate men like this
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
Hey thanks Matt I’m getting a bunch of subscriptions from your retweet! And tbh maybe you are more secure than me bc I’m fine with being naked online but I’d die of embarrassment if i had to publicly admit I didn’t know what a woman was
@MattWalshBlog
Matt Walsh
2 years
"Boring insecure loser" is actually a great way to describe every woman with an OnlyFans account
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
Have I fucked Pete Davidson the person? No. But have I fucked Pete Davidson the brand? Exclusively
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
I’m sick of these robots taking our jobs
@ladbible
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1 year
🔔 | Sperm 'extraction machine' invented for men who are too embarrassed to masturbate in hospitals More below:
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@itsmegangraves
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8 months
The city of Baltimore is telling us that the parasite they found in our drinking water is “only harmful to immunocompromised people” while leaving out that a decent amount of people who had covid are now unknowingly immunocompromised
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
What’s your favorite generic stand up bomb recovery statement mine’s “that one was for me”
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
“It’s crazy how many people do c*ke” how else am I supposed to stay out past midnight? A whole iced coffee?? Cream and sugar??? You want me to shit myself at the club???? Grow up
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
Waking up next to my vibrator is so funny like damn I didn’t realize you stayed over
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
Two years ago when I was a comedy baby, an established comedian that I looked up to and was excited to meet pressured me into unprotected sex, giving me a strain of hpv that I now need to get a second cervical biopsy to manage.
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
When I was 12 I wanted to go to a fall out boy concert so badly and my parents tried to get me tickets but told me they sold out and I was devastated but when I came home day of the concert they were like SIKE not only are you going but your friend’s parents got them tickets too
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
I’ve never felt the air sucked out of a room like that I would’ve ran off stage and jumped off a roof
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
I found the girl who leaked some of my nudes and I’m ngl she’s so ugly I almost feel too bad to proceed legally
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
@kaicomedy besties!!!
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
The anti-sex worker crowd is like “yes I want to see you naked and imagine you in sexual situations but ONLY if you’re not okay with it otherwise it’s weird and disgusting and I will NOT be participating”
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
Every time I have sex there’s a little moment in my mind when I’m like “haha sick 😎”
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
Someone get that shark on the phone it’s time to finish the job
@DailyLoud
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1 year
Surfer Bethany Hamilton says she won't compete against transgender women.
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
Sorry for saying that people who don’t respect sex workers are just boring and insecure. After speaking with so many of them today I can honestly say that they’re also ugly
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
My kink is you reassuring me that you still like me every 2-4 business days
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
You don’t get to remove someone’s autonomy just because they’re pregnant, that’s actually a horrifying opinion!
@LorayaMarie
Raya
1 year
I’m sorry but filming porn while pregnant should be illegal, this disgusting to me
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
Having my nudes shared publicly and around dozens of private Facebook groups while hundreds of people joined in on bashing absolutely everything about my appearance definitely broke the last part of my brain that cared about pleasing other people
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
He dodged it but in doing so he fell off a curb into the street and looked terrified so it was still funny
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@itsmegangraves
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7 months
Constantly walking past a task that needs to be done but not being able to actually bring yourself to do it is like the most common and mundane symptom of adhd y’all are showing your mean bully asses in the quotes
@emilykmay
emily
7 months
this box has been sitting in my hallway for *six weeks* and my husband has not asked me what it is, why I haven’t opened it, or if I should ever plan on moving it and this is what it’s like when both partners have ADHD.
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my four little years in the entertainment industry it’s to just never say this about any of the men working in it bc they looooove to prove you wrong
@BohoDayz
tick, tick...
1 year
this man doesn’t have a bad bone in his body, I’d bet everything on that
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
Sorry to interrupt but Fritz has the rainy day zoomies
@CincinnatiZoo
Cincinnati Zoo
1 year
Fritz has the rainy day zoomies! ☔️
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
I posted a pic of me wearing a sweater with no bottoms on my onlyfans and someone commented “ole Winnie the Pooh Bear ass over here”
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
It would be such a red flag if someone couldn’t maintain a single friendship with someone they fucked
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
Shoe was the one who got their hyper conservative audience to dog pile me by willfully misconstruing my tweet about dating people with an OnlyFans which got me quoted by M*tt W*lsh and ended with over 500 of my nudes being leaked across hundreds of websites
@realteaemoji
tea ☕️
1 year
remember when there were people on here on the left defending this freak
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
Bunch of guys posted my nudes on my Facebook this morning bc I said people who wouldn’t date a sex worker are boring insecure losers several weeks ago in case you’re wondering how cool it is to be a woman online
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
I’m never listening to Spotify radio during sex again I ended up getting my pussy ate to a pitbull song
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
Noooo don’t quote tweet me to your followers noooo don’t call me a whore and talk about my OnlyFans in front of a new audience noooo
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@itsmegangraves
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7 months
Landlords are the brokest bitches bc maybe if you had a real job you could actually pay me back
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@itsmegangraves
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8 months
The belief that they’d stand out in an oversaturated market filled with the hottest people in the world without even trying is so delusional I almost admire it
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
most of the ai naked women have full grown curvy bodies with little baby child faces, surprising no one
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
Did y’all know that the cure for ovarian cysts is “oh well!”
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
@StopTweetingMia Hetero sex is supposed to be full of contracts and silent, the way god intended
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
Thinking about the guy who tried to use pet urine cleaner to clean my squirt off his bed right in front of my face
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@itsmegangraves
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8 months
jump scare
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@itsmegangraves
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5 months
@theashleyray hoodwinked, bamboozled, lead astray, etc
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
Why pursue standup to be an average comic when I could easily quit and become the funniest person at an accounting firm
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
Blocking someone on OnlyFans is so fucking funny you literally can’t even pay to see me naked
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@itsmegangraves
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2 months
Starting a new business where I’ll spray you with a hose and beat you up a little bit for the competitive price of $17,000
@Dexerto
Dexerto
2 months
A three-day 'alpha male boot camp' is seeing attendees mocked online for paying $18,000 to endure military grade inspired punishments
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
People think it’s soooo hot…
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
If babies really wanted formula they shouldn’t have been buying all those iced coffees on their morning commutes
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
“Gonna make an OnlyFans that’s just me eating pizza 🤪” and I’m gonna make an OnlyFans that’s just me fucking your dad
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
All I’ll say to people trying to tell me that my parents are wrong for supporting me is that my parents raised a happy, loving, financially secure woman driven to follow her dreams while yours raised *checks notes* an anonymous loser on the internet
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
My bf and I put two tvs in my living room so he can play video games on one while I watch tv on the other I made fruity pebble marshmallow treats and he’s making a frozen pizza I am on top of the world
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@itsmegangraves
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1 year
I for one think it’s totally healthy and normal that some people get to have a billion dollars and some people get to freeze to death on the streets
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@itsmegangraves
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8 months
The “no one wants to work anymore” crowd sure loves firing people who have an OnlyFans as their other job
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@itsmegangraves
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3 years
I am an artist
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@itsmegangraves
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5 months
If your bf isn’t friends w any women it doesn’t mean he only likes you it means he doesn’t like women, including you
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@itsmegangraves
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7 months
men will be like hey I see you’re having a really hard time rn…..but you know what else is hard 😏
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@itsmegangraves
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2 months
“I know sex work is okay for you now but what’s your plan for when you get older” thank you for asking! when I turn 50 my plan is to hunt you for sport
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@itsmegangraves
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2 years
I cannot stress enough how much you should never message me, or anyone, like this
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