Andy Dawson @profanityswan Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

100% Alan Sugar's nicking this quote for a future Apprentice episode

ITV News

@itvnews

3 months

'I paid for Willy Wonka but got Billy Bonkers': Parents rage as immersive event leaves children in tears

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

Dave Chisnall: 'I've not practiced for two or three months cos I've been getting me front room done' High-performance darts life there

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

6 months

RIP Thelma, pet 😢

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

Lewis Goodall

@lewis_goodall

3 months

Trump's spokeswoman says he will be appealing the verdict, which she calls "a manifest injustice."

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

I'm duty-bound to mention that some of trending comedy legend #BobMortimer 's finest work is in his podcast @AthleticoMince , which some of his fans inexplicably still don't know about

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

16 days

Today's been smashing on here. I'd forgotten how loved Mince is. Thanks to everyone who's heralded our comeback. x #absence #heart #fonder

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

Pretty wild weekend for thick people who pretend they're clever

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

Arguably his greatest work

Darts World Magazine

@Darts_World

5 months

🎯🎂 | Darts World Birthday 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Bobby George, 78. The King of Bling played a huge role in the early development of professional darts and is still helping youngsters to enjoy the game today! 🏆🏆 News of the World 🥈🥈 World Championships #TheOfficialVoiceOfDarts

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

7 months

Absolute fucking swearfest at the inquiry

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

16 days

👀

Athletico Mince

@AthleticoMince

16 days

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

Can see no mention of Mince in these replies. So many people who have never experienced a kiss from the Alderman

Caitlin Moran

@caitlinmoran

10 months

How lovely that Bob Mortimer is trending simply because everyone just chose today to talk about how unbelievably excellent he is. He's a scientifically observable percentage of the world's sum total of joy.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

'Or of course you could be Honky Tonk'

Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

Even the refs' names were better back then #BigMatchRevisited

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

As always, his video is like opening a thesaurus and an STI falls out

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

2 months

Today in podcasting, I have learned that Paul McCartney sent flowers to Giant Haystacks' widow each year on the anniversary of Haystacks' passing.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

A very merry Christmas to everyone who looks at this 🎅❤️

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

9 months

Another 'portfolio of rental properties' cunt on Homes Under The Hammer. He's from London but this house he's bought is in Doncaster because 'you get more bang for your buck' and 'the yield is very good' Hope he doesn't get gently lowered into the nearest active volcano.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

9 months

I imagine there'll be some kind of disbanding meeting of the White Hart gang...

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

1994's 'Chris Morris Music Show' is my absolute favourite comedy radio. All the episodes are here...

The Chris Morris Music Show : Chris Morris : Free Download, Borrow,...

The Chris Morris Music Show was a radio show presented by satirist Chris Morris and broadcast on BBC Radio 1 between June and December...

archive.org

Danny Baker

@prodnose

10 months

I once had a morning radio show on GLR. I would do 6 till 9am then hand over to Chris Morris. My show was pretty good. His was pretty goodier. This will never happen again.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

RIP you absolute star. Nothing Compares 2 U is one of those songs that gets itself deeper inside you the older you grow.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

6 months

Suella Braverman now free to join the new series of I'm A Celebrity alongside Farage, Russell Brand, and the ghost of Myra Hindley

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

4 months

Still hits the spot

We're just normal men

@wejustnormalmen

4 months

We’re just normal men

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

30 days

COMING SOON: part two of series one of @AthleticoMince

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

I don't

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

People often say to me, 'Andy, your podcasting studio must be very high tech' and yes, yes it is...

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

Immense Bullseye star prize activity

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

2 months

Terry Hall At The BBC on BBC4 now. The only pop star to message me on insta during lockdown desperate to know where I'd got my jigsaws from cos everywhere was sold out.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

4 months

In 2019 you responded to a tricky question by hiding in a big fridge.

Daily Mail Online

@MailOnline

4 months

BORIS JOHNSON: Would I sign up to fight for King and country? Yes, Sah! Lance Corporal Johnson reporting for duty, Sah!

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

16 days

Bloke just came down for Travelodge breakfast wearing a big fluffy dressing gown and slippers. Got himself bacon, scrambled eggs and six slices of toast. Absolute legend.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

*chef's kiss*

Ed Cumming

@edcumming

3 months

Catching up on Gregg Wallace’s magnificently Partridgian My Saturday.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

Helpful of Liz Truss to publicly confirm that she's still as mad as a shit-dipped biscuit.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

The 'just a tree' people are all Tories

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

We go over now to Boldon, where there is a Greggs INSIDE an Asda...

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

This will probably only affect 1% of you in the way it should but that's more than enough. Headmaster Chic Murray on the piano in Gregory's Girl (Maybe that grifting fucker on here will now nick this tweet, but probably not this bit)

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

I just cried at that. It was Barney's face as he congratulated him. I'm 51 - it's probably hormones or something

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

Seeing Dale Winton on #totp reminds me of the time I wrote a semi-pisstake celebration of 20 years of Supermarket Sweep for the Mirror and he loved it so much that he offered to take me out for lunch 👀

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

Johnson seems sharp, confident and with a laser precision when it comes to recalling facts and conversations from so long ago. Not really. He's a rambling, shambling, shifty fucking shitbag who inexplicable seems to have opted for '1976 Savile' as his haircut of choice.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

Fuck me, there's plenty of Internet Men who aren't happy with a strong woman being in the spotlight, even when she's just died

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

Seven years ago, when there was only 13 podcasts in the UK

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

'The Old Oak' is now on Netflix. Look out for me on screen for approximately 18 seconds. I play the character of 'Micky' who is a twat.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

Hello

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

4 months

Feels Saudi-funded, this

TellyMix

@tellymix

4 months

NEW! Paddy McGuinness will reportedly host a reboot of game show Bullseye on ITV More details:

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

I'm finding myself increasingly annoyed by the size of wine bottles in this country. Anyone know if anything can be done about it all?

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

Good evening

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

7 months

We've come a long way since series one and 'I'm only allowed to have a tiny piece of cheese once a year' or whatever it was

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

That BT knacker getting his armband signed is one of the worst things I've ever seen on television

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

From $44billion to fuck all in eight months is some going. 👏👏👏

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

The Sex Pistols Bill Grundy thing has just been on Channel 5, and every time we think about it we must also think about this

Kevin Eldon's Amish Sex Pistols side by side with Bill Grundy original

Kevin Eldon's Amish Sex Pistols side by side with Bill Grundy original.

www.youtube.com

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

6 months

Catching up with TOTP 1995 from earlier. McAlmont & Butler's 'Yes' will forever be god-tier stuff 😍

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

Jesus suffering fuck

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

And this is probably the moment when it properly took off (and remains up there with his very best Mince stuff)

Athletico Mince: Jambon Hell

This is an animation for Athletico Mince

www.youtube.com

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

9 months

I got a C in English Language and E in Law at A-Level, was thrown off my polytechnic course after a year for low attendance and then spent 25 years scrabbling around in the sordid world of freelance media. There's no lesson here - I'm amazed I'm still alive to be honest.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

Just had an easy peeler with EIGHT pips in it. I suppose Starmer thinks that's okay does he?

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

2 months

New York Post

@nypost

2 months

Kate Middleton has been working from home on special project, palace confirms

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

12 days

I had seven pints and saw Elbow and it was ace

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

My favourite bit of the podcast. So chuffed that it actually matches up with the coverage

Kate Lister

@k8_lister

8 months

I love the #AlanPartridgePodcast more than I can say. In the latest series, Alan offers his own commentary on the coronation. I had to see if it actually matched up with the real footage, and I’m howling. This is amazing. 💀💀

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

Let's shine a little light and remember the time she was interviewed by Donald and Davy Stott

The Stotts Interview Sinead O'Conner

The Stotts interviewing Sinead O'Conner on Bang Bang, It's Reeves & Mortimer

www.youtube.com

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

Sadly, Sunderland AFC is currently riddled with the Jake Humphrey virus

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

Always a great vibe in Wilko. Britain is basically finished now.

Richard Coles

@RevRichardColes

10 months

Wilko’s gone into administration. This is BAD.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

1 month

Daughter's come home from uni for two days so we can watch the last ever Curb Your Enthusiasm episode together when it's shown at 3am. A strategic nap is going to have to be had and it's going to put all of my napping experience to the test.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

Happy New Year!

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

16 days

Back back BACK!

Athletico Mince

@AthleticoMince

16 days

NEW EPISODE! (Club Parsnips early access) 'Mince 124: No Fighting' 63-minute extended version - out now and ad-free on Patreon, Apple Subscriptions and Acast+ Free-to-all edited version coming later today

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

4 months

Brexit means Brexit

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

That. Was. Ridiculous. Darts, man. Darts. ❤️❤️❤️

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

4 months

Fuck's sake

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

Can't even begin to tell you how monumentally grim it is Up North right now

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

'lapse in judgement' If this fucker thinks his judgement has been otherwise sound...

Dan Wootton

@danwootton

8 months

I want to reiterate my regret over last night’s exchange with Laurence on GB News. Having looked at the footage, I can see how inappropriate my reaction to his totally unacceptable remarks appears to be and want to be clear that I was in no way amused by the comments. I reacted

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

I think a lot of Americans might be perplexed about the Brand thing because they only know him from a handful of B-list movies and don't have the experience of him oozing all over the discourse for almost two decades like some kind of abnormal penile discharge with big hair.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

I hope there are lots of new SPARKS fans after tonight

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

Just crossed the border into Scotland. Good god.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

Oh fuck

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

13 days

Sometimes I feel slightly faint when I consider how handsome I am

Athletico Mince

@AthleticoMince

13 days

Here's a bit of the new Parsnips-exclusive 'TOPICS OF INTEREST' mini-episode.... in FULL VISION! (Listen to it on Patreon or Apple Podcasts Subscriptions or Acast+)

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

2 months

Mad that there was just 23 months between the chart entry dates of the first and last Specials singles, given the impression they made and influence they had (AND there was a 6-month gap of chart inactivity before Ghost Town was released)

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

2 months

#NewJamesBond

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

Sunderland. Absolutely fucking dreadful.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

Multiscreening the ACTION

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

2 months

Absolute knobhead

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

2 months

'The source has manipulated the image'

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

9 months

@jane__bradley Six minutes of measured reflection. We've all been there

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

Fuck, and I cannot stress this enough, Whamageddon.

Rainy

@rainy101

5 months

Filing this under 'some people need to get a fucking grip' BBC News - Whamageddon: DJ sorry for playing Last Christmas by Wham!

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

Yes. Yes I would.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

4 months

My daughter has just got into The Fall, and she's updating me with her favourite new songs as she discovers them. Today it's 'Totally Wired' 😍 She's also enthralled with how hilarious Mark E Smith's vocals are, which I don't think we consider enough. #parenting

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

And now, in the name of parity, the holding to account of all of Nigel Farage's previous lies, turpitude and arseholery must surely begin.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

Fuck me, this shit is so tedious

Steph Durkin

@stephgdurkin

3 months

I’ve got to say, it concerns me that Vice President of ⁦ @RADA_London ⁩, who just so happens to be ⁦ @CynthiaErivo ⁩, would speak about Sunderland like this. Maybe unintended, but it’s that same old narrative of ppl from my area/background being othered by this industry.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

3 months

Probably inappropriate (and exactly as it should be) but this was my favourite bit of season 11

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

Joey Barton once held a door open for me at Talksport. Would he have done that if I were a woman? Hard to know for certain.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

1 month

Looking forward to upcoming @TFTimeMachine episode...

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

Wrote this in 2013 after Brand told Paxman that people shouldn't vote. Eh? EHHHH?

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

So, on yesterday's @TFTimeMachine , @delaneyman asked me to guess which of the podcast's persons of interest' he would be interviewing today. I made one guess - @SusannaHoffs . I was correct. This is incredible and also slightly terrifying.

Sam Delaney 'Sort Your Head Out' OUT NOW

@DelaneyMan

11 months

10 points for @profanityswan ✔️

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

It's still not the highlight of my day though - bought a sledgehammer for a fiver at a car boot sale this afternoon

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

4 months

Highlight of my evening at the Stadium of Light

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

HOOTENANNY! (2012)

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

11 months

Glenda's face after delivering this line is one of my favourite bits of telly ever. RIP.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

4 months

Absolute rollercoaster of emotions back in 2009 according to FBmemories...

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

10 months

Hello

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

£6.50 for 10x440ml cans up the Sainsburys. Ludicrous bargain. Always drink responsibly.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

2 months

Went to a fancy dress birthday party last night. The brief was '80s Glamour'. I did my best.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

5 months

2023. Was in a film.

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Andy Dawson

@profanityswan

8 months

Fuckers

Hits Radio News | North East

@HitsNENews

8 months

The iconic Sycamore Gap tree on Hadrian's Wall Path in Northumberland has been felled overnight. We're waiting more information on this. Pics - Amanda Marks, Author, Facebook.

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