Ali Gordon @msalicenutting Twitter profile

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Ali Gordon

3 years

The year is 1543. “We’ve got a great female jester lined up for you next,” announces the Squire to the court. I grumble. “Someday they’ll just introduce us as *jesters*,” I huff under my breath. I die from horse bite the next week.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

ANIMAL CROSSING: you pull out a fish you caught two minutes ago and everyone in town applauds you. STARDEW VALLEY: you spend 19 days growing a carrot and give it to a woman who disdainfully says, “I don’t want this” yet still takes your carrot. The carrot costs 2,000 dollars.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 months

“What can I say? I hate musicals…… but I looooooove being tricked!!!” - every moviegoer, famously

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

5 months

Studios are avoiding marketing musicals as such due to feedback from test-audience focus groups, @DEADLINE reports: “test-audience focus groups generally hate musicals and the only way to get people into the theater with one is to trick ’em.”

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Thanks to the 1000 angry ppl who rt’d this to tell me you can’t grow carrots. Unfortunately I did not know that because I had to stop playing Stardew; it gave me agita. To everyone who loves it, I’m glad for you! I am playing AC for the first time ever with my animal villager.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

@erinhollyfenton I understand conceptually why people like Stardew, but personally it made me feel like an absolute psycho

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

My dad passed a week ago. This evening was the first flight I’ve ever ever taken where the first thing I didn’t do upon landing was text him to say I’d arrived safely. Weird the things you immediately miss.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

AIRLINE BOOKING WEBSITE: all passengers are allowed one carry-on item. AIRLINE AS YOU ARE BOARDING: what the fuck are all these BAGS!? There’s no room for these BAGS! Why did you monsters bring BAGS!?!? You fucking imbeciles! Get rid of these BAGS!

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

How am I? Well, I got on the subway, rode 25m, went to WORK, said hi to security, clocked in, then decided to pee before my shift started before looking in a mirror and noticing this is what I looked like. I don’t know how to be okay with this unless we’re all laughing about it.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

As a child of 2 dead parents, I will say Mother’s Day is harder than Father’s Day because ads for Father’s Day are like “GET THE SWEATIEST MAN IN YOUR LIFE A HAND SAW!!!” but Mother’s Day ads are like “no one in the world will ever love you like your mother, not ever again.”

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

You can tell all those “New York Will Never Go Back to The Way It Was” thinkpieces that this morning on the subway I saw a man wearing a protective jockstrap as a mask, and a woman carrying a mesh drawer teeming with live bees.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

Hey, if you are worried that your side part or high-waisted jeans are gonna make you look uncool to teens, let me assure you something (as someone who’s job is teaching teens): there is nothing nothing nothing you can do to make yourself appear cool to teens. Give it up.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

Cannot believe tomorrow is Starkid Homecoming. Everyone sounds so good, it’s wild. Also @ajholmesmusic is the only bastard man who can get me to sing soprano notes above the staff I haven’t had to sing in 5+ years.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Th th tha th th tha th tha that’s pussy, folks!

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

The year is 1543. “We’ve got a great female jester lined up for you next,” announces the Squire to the court. I grumble. “Someday they’ll just introduce us as *jesters*,” I huff under my breath. I die from horse bite the next week.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

I don’t and will not have a TikTok so by “popular” “demand” (my friends who tell me I should have a TikTok), here are four Broadway divas auditioning for the role of Lucy in You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

every time I get my bangs trimmed I do it for you, king

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

It’s been a year since my Dad died. But at least in that time, there hasn’t been a global catastrophe that obliterated my industry and all my passions, also leaving me unable to travel and see any of my remaining friends and family! 😇

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

11 months

My official review: Ruthie Ann Miles, who played Light, she gave EVERYTHING.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

In all that I heard about the crimes of CATS - its psychosexual creepiness, the uncanny animation - no one cared to mention they CHANGED the tune of Mungojerrie and Rumpleteaser!?!?!?!????? CRIME.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

I must warn you: you will NEVER get this music out of your head. But the good news is, the music is amazing! 🦃👦🏻!

Team StarKid

@TeamStarKid

3 years

Join StarKid for a new holiday tradition blending Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol with 80’s music videos into a synth-elating Live Visual Album experience!

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

Someone asked what I ate for dinner last night. The truth was Triscuits, but I didn’t want to say that, so for some reason I said “soup.” They said, “it’s really hot out for soup!” Too caught in the lie, I replied, “Yep. I’m a freak for soup all year!” Nothing about this is good.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

@mikeabrusci @eblarden My jaw dropped so hard I heard an audible crack

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

I am so excited to continue to communicate solely with @JoeyRichter via twitter!!!! This can’t be healthy but I do really love you! Someday when the world isn’t ending I’ll see you in person again and we’ll communicate via twitter sitting side by side!

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

Oh yay, it’s on the website so I can tell you how excited I am! This is going to be really huge and really fun and woah this little rat never gets to escape NYC, maybe I’ll even swim in a pool! @TeamStarKid

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Film Twitter be like “I understood Inception perfectly but the time jumps in Little Women really confused me :(“

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

@Tha_Los @CoreyDorris FOR ONCE, not me. But @Brian_Rosenthal & I have concluded that Guys Like Potter is a sexy slow jam made for the dance floor.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

No actor has looked older in a movie since Stockard Channing in Grease

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Finally got a chance to listen to the Starkid Homecoming album this morning while cleaning and WOW it sounds incredible. It's v emotional! No one has ever sung louder than I did during To Dance Again, apparently!!! I hope everyone who wasn't there feels like they were part of it!

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

9 years

"Oh, he wrote it too? Now I get why everyone clapped when he came out, since he hadn't done anything yet." - mom on HAMILTON. @Lin_Manuel

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

Just got word that this is the photo going on the front of all the UMich Alumni newsletters in perpetuity.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

Today was a pretty okay day of firsts: I finished the first draft of a novel, and I got my first dose of COVID vaccine! Please know this is the most I’ve gotten done in one day in upwards of 10 months.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

A relationship should be 50/50. I’m Théoden, King of Rohan, whose mind is overthrown; you were not always as you are now, you were once a man of Rohan. Happy Quarantine Halloween!

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 months

new reaction images just dropped

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

I finally caved and, as of yesterday, I am a “weird shaped glasses” girl. It all happened so quickly, but I am here and it feels like a forward trajectory into weirder accessories in the future.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

10 years

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to discuss the significance of which roles are double-cast in Angels in America.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Do we think this is a good start to the speech I have to give at my father's memorial? I feel like this is probably the best start, right?

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

What is the light at the end of the tunnel if every place I’ve ever performed, met collaborators, and fostered community at are shuttered once we’re all vaccinated and back out in the world!?!? SORRY FOR LACK OF TWEET PUNCHLINE.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

6 years

Me: oh my god is he not gonna say go blue? ........... never mind he said it. #EmmyAwards2018

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

On a scale from ‘one’ to ‘shitting yourself’, how much anxiety does it give you just walking into an empty room set up this way?

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 months

@kepneram3lia @curtmega I wouldn’t blame them! I don’t want to be tricked, either, even if I love musicals

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

2 years

Ugh, just watched Seeing Red and it was *so* not relatable. First off, she went to a different middle school than I did. That should have been my first sign that I was not gonna understand this movie.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

@angrylou Spaghetti ACABonara

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

This is my favorite season of Doctor Who. (📸: Eric Carroll)

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 months

Why should you buy the Jangle Ball digital download? I have one good reason.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

I’m gonna buy Animal Crossing tomorrow, I think. I’ve never played it before and Stardew Valley stressed me the fuck out. Am I making a mistake?? The little animals just seem so sweet and resourceful.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

While watching Fellowship of the Ring, @greyhenson looked down at his phone for 10 inopportune seconds, then asked, “Oh no. Is that them?” I edited the movie to reflect his viewing experience. Please enjoy.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

@GrossmanMax

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

My hybrid red pansies finally crossbred purple pansies and I know this means nothing to 90% of people, but for those who get it, please know I’m SCREAMING!!!

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

My dad died last year; his bday is 4/20. I have a memory of him watching the 2004 Friends finale, having never seen an ep. “I got off the plane” said Rachel. “From where?” I asked. “I have no fucking clue” he answered. In retrospect, certain he was high. Phenomenal guy I miss him

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

This one is a work in progress (as you will clearly see) but PEN15 has made me nostalgic for all my favorite hits of the year 2000.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Both of my parents died in the last two years and that’s been pretty devastating but also, maybe they were onto something?

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Here’s my unimportant tweet for the day: I am a person watching Avatar for the first time, and I am a person with a very irrational but very real fear of things with no faces. These are just two facts about me!

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

I know it wouldn’t *fix* anything, but I do wish Appa was real.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

In the biz, we call this haircut the Frodo Baggins.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

Personal growth is getting older and realizing Hagrid could get it. Anyway, happy birthday Harry Potter.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Quitting everything and becoming a full-time ensemble member of the Ember Island Players. I think there’s a good chance they’ll let me be the tiny bitch who plays the Avatar next year.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 months

Received the most targeted, accurate read of my life today when a person innocently asked me, “you’re a theater person, right? I knew from how you told everyone to ‘make levels’ when we took that group photo.”

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

I know it’s absolutely too late at night to be posting photos, but Halloween is fun, especially if you’ve been planning it for 6 months with @notnotcrying .

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

Was sitting eating a yogurt when every single person in Harlem started screaming. And then........ I knew. 😇

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

decided to take my hair shorter in case the world shuts down again soon; learning to embrace the extremely specific vibes.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 months

Thank you all for an incredible weekend of the best, warmest, loveliest audiences. I have fallen asleep sitting up twice today. Love you all! Let’s do it again!!! #buyamatch

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

The Favourite. Us. Big year to be a rabbit in Hollywood. #askifitsequity

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

What it feels like attempting to get onto a downtown 6 train at rush hour.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

I got my requisite quarantine haircut today! Cut some clippings of supermodels out of magazines to show the stylist what I wanted.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

10 years

True life: I'm putting on makeup in my hotel bathroom & can hear 3 different cast members from @BookofMormon warming up. Y'all sound great!

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

I'm in a holiday Best Buy ad where I pop out of nowhere, proving you're never safe from me, not ever, not anywhere.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

OH WOW 😭

Team StarKid

@TeamStarKid

4 years

Go behind the scenes of #SKHomecoming ! The 10umentary is premiering on YouTube now! #SK10

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Preparing for the John Doyle revival of Pippin which will hit Broadway in 2028 (which is when we can safely reopen at this rate) which will take place in... a cult? Inside a music box? Can’t wait to find out (in 2028).

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Packed uptown D train, 3:53pm. Showtime performer says, “don’t worry ma’am you are totally safe” before his fellow performer spins upside down on the pole and kicks an absolutely full bag of Trader Joe’s groceries off her lap.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

You were making fun of me for owning two bags of wigs before we all got stuck indoors indefinitely, but NOW who owns two bags of wigs?

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

In 2021, we return to channeling Three’s Company.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

I would die defending Mary Poppins Returns. It had everything. Great music. Cute kids. Meryl Streep drag. A Sally Bowles wig change. Anti-Capitalist sentiment. Ben Wishaw in a mustache. Fuckin unreal.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

My only joy is the cows I follow on Instagram.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Florence Pugh has allowed all of us who've played Amy in our lifetimes to step out of the shadows and feel, for once, a bit of pride.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

@maryann_aita AC is slow, and fun/cute/engaging without being very challenging. I can see why that’s not everyone’s jam, but it’s precisely what my brain wants right now.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

8 years

. @michaelcassara I don't get why Wells Fargo is apologizing. @mcscan and I are stoked about our ads.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

The titles of the flower arrangements available for funeral and memorial services is truly lol. Mourning Stars? Bitch that's hysterical. Hardest I've laughed since learning I had to plan a funeral.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

Saw a woman at the end of the street who looked exactly like me. My heart started pounding as I walked closer. Was I going to say something? Had she noticed me, as well? ANYWAY it was a highly reflective door propped open and the lady was me.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

GET OUT OF THE WAY, IT’S SPOOKY MONTH!!!

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Hello, I am going entirely alone to see Celine Dion at the Barclays Center tomorrow evening if anyone is also going and wants to say hello, because right now I’m just standing & belting along by myself. Also please just assure me I am normal, thank you.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Found a phenomenal relic while packing up: I went to see two of my best friends, @captainsmiles and @ajholmesmusic , on tour with Book of Mormon in Detroit. I wept through the whole thing and they were so sweet and loving and supportive of me, their dear friend.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

My mom wore a mini-dress to her Bat Mitzvah in 1970 absolute legend

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

Me looking into the sink at all the dishes I need to do and not knowing where to start.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

2020 is for being stupid. This next tweet is what’s going to make sure I never get hired for a Disney+ gig:

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Pokémon Shield is so good. It’s soooo good. I wish I was never not playing it.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

TO ANNOUNCE THIS TODAY, WHILE I’M STILL FINDING DOC OCK WIG HAIR ON MY COUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christopher Miller

@chrizmillr

5 years

We're coming back. April 8, 2022. #SpiderVerse 🕷️

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

Today is the 2 year anniversary of my mother’s death and the only memory I wanted to share with my grief counselor this morning was that when I was 10 we went to Paris and my mom got drunk at a discotheque and got the DJ to play Prince’s “Sexy Motherfucker” 3 separate times.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

I’m one bad decision away and a paycheck from commissioning someone to draw me with my Pokémon party.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Me after The Mandelorian started really caring about Baby Yoda and risking his life for the baby.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 months

Building an actor website is such a specific kind of embarrassment. Like what do you mean I have to put a bunch of photos of my face in one place in case people want to see them?

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

Some people might say, Ali you are wearing an irresponsible number of colors and patterns today. And I say, I can’t hear you over how loud all the colors and patterns are.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

omg not the one and only CVS in all of New York City!

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

Sometimes I’m sad that any photo documentation of good hair days also comes with a mask, but then I’m happy because I remember you can’t see the furious zit on my chin. 👼

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

3 years

Good Omens (TV mini-series 2019)

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

I HAPPILY took advantage of @geezmarty lamenting no one ever commissions characters wearing ultra high-fashion and got the @SecondBestDnD ladies done up in “casino heist” fancies. Bug isn’t here because he’s sitting in the getaway car listening to a podcast.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

Jesus fuck I have to see CATS before they update it with the better graphics I HAVE TOOOOOO

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

5 years

People being like “teehee.... is Chief Hopper...... hot???” are so disrespectful to those of us who’ve been here doing the work, putting in the hours, since the very start.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting

4 years

It’s astounding the number of times you can feel blinding rage in one day.

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Ali Gordon

@msalicenutting