@melissa @melissa Twitter profile

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@melissa

3 months

i had no strong opinions on screens, going into parenting here’s what worked for me (my friend @anabology called it lofi girl protocol) +

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@melissa

2 years

oops accidentally followed an account with a phunk facing the wrong way

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@melissa

2 years

@Poolsuite gm execs, let’s web the third together

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@melissa

2 years

tall DAO: proof of height for dating apps, 6' floor to join, reply below with proof of height based on basel, members so far include: — @alexisohanian — @gregisenberg — @Cooopahtroopa — @advm__ — @thattallguy — @mdelucia21

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@melissa

8 years

Candlelight yoga class. Girl wanders in, weaves around everyone on mats, catches Pokemon, finally looks up. Teacher guilts her into joining.

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@melissa

2 years

gm to all who gm back

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@melissa

1 month

thiamine is doing crazy good things for my sleep i’d often get huge ‘stress spikes’ right after falling asleep (even with getting 3+ hours of deep sleep since i started a/b testing with whoop) thiamine appears to completely stabilize my sleep @anabology @TakeThiamine ftw

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@melissa

2 years

so what he’s saying here is... look left 👀

jack

@jack

2 years

@HYPEBEAST “Don’t look right”

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@melissa

2 years

a day in crypto is more like a month, which means 1 month is basically 7 years

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@melissa

2 years

make memes @Pauly0x

tycoon.eth / 🦇🔊 / 🚬🏭#0

@0xTycoon

2 years

If you have a phunk, follow me! (No time to explain...)

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@melissa

3 months

spreading the @anabology good word

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@melissa

2 years

MEMES ARE A REAL JOB AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

PAULY

@Pauly0x

2 years

Simping w/ @melissa

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@melissa

3 months

what is slow tv? in 2009 a norwegian producer puts a camera on train, records out window, and broadcasts the whole thing, uncut you watch scenery go by for 7 hours cbs interviews the guy and tells him it’s boring, and he says: “yes — like much of life itself, it’s boring”

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@melissa

3 months

footnotes on screens! i did research to form an opinion –– i have many thoughts, tldr it’s simply not optimal stimulus for critical developmental stages in forming your own opinion, i recommend jane m healy’s books, endangered minds (1999) and your child’s growing mind (1999)

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@melissa

2 years

forget the metaverse, what about the microwave

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@melissa

2 years

if you don’t check the floor, does the floor even exist? schrödinger’s floor

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@melissa

2 years

eth down, jpegs up

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@melissa

3 months

he's 2 now, and he still thinks my iphone is just a phone that calls people we aren’t planning to be no screens forever –– a linux box is in his near future

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@melissa

3 months

it seemed to work immediately as soon as we started, he started to ignore screens at breakfast time, once he started to talk, he’d ask for train or lofi girl and then he’d look out the window instead, watching the cars on the street or the birds in the trees

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@melissa

3 months

a professor of media at university of oslo says slow tv is like “opening a sort of window, an escape valve” the new yorker says “instead of drowning out its viewers’ inner lives, it seems to want to be a backdrop that can give rise to their own reflections”

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@melissa

3 months

this is what worked for us i like creative problem solving in parenting and want to spend more time working on it dm to chat parenting ps i read hundreds of parenting books, so dm especially to chat parenting books :)

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@melissa

3 months

he kept pointing at the tv and turning back to me, saying lofi girl? lofi girl? he’d generalized that all screens should be playing lofi girl :’) other than that, he wanted to connect with her and us instead the eye doctor was fascinated

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@melissa

8 years

Shopping in a good outfit is like going to the grocery store when you're hungry: expensive consequences.

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@melissa

9 years

The only thing worse than no internet is slow internet.

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@melissa

2 years

we are all aging in doge years

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@melissa

3 months

anecdotally, at 18 months we took him to the eye doctor at that young, the exam is done by playing pixar’s cars and saying look over there! keep looking over there while i’m looking at your eyes! she quite literally COULD NOT get him to look at the screen

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@melissa

3 months

i think a lot about how to get a high agency kid here’s what’s working +

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@melissa

2 years

the only thing worse than no internet is slow internet

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@melissa

3 months

i looked at youtube channels and picked two one with movement and no music (train through snowy swiss alps, 8.5 hours) one with music and almost no movement (lofi girl, 3ish hours looping ““animation””) and then we played one of these nearly 24/7/365

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@melissa

4 months

why doesn’t everyone have dms open? i dm people all the time pretty sure everyone under like a million followers should have dms open it’s easy to ignore spam or bs, you don’t have to tap links, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to good things happen from dms

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@melissa

3 months

if you want to be @bryan_johnson you have to live somewhere with enormous food control like LA, which has a critical mass of people obsessed with what’s in what they eat (and also tons of nutrition special snowflakes) or you can just do what we do cc @exfatloss @anabology

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@melissa

2 years

WETH > METH

h wonder 🧩

@hWonderofWorld

2 years

WE > ME

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@melissa

3 months

from the (very very good) movie about josh waitzkin: “to put a child in a position to care about winning and not to prepare him is wrong” — searching for bobby fischer

anabology

@anabology

3 months

@rikdomr I had a tennis coach who wouldn’t let his students play a match or a tournament until he knew they could win it. I guess kinda same philosophy. This feels kinda like a DM in counter strike but I can play it on my phone all the time and it’s harder

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@melissa

2 years

tis the season for unsubscribing

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@melissa

3 months

we also hope that he’ll share our sports (basketball with husband, climbing with me) we started showing him recordings (no commercials) of 90s lakers games and various ifsc tournaments

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@melissa

2 years

help > let me know how i can be helpful

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@melissa

3 months

i wasn’t one to talk –– my parents got me my own mac on my own kid sized desk at 6 months old, and i’d ‘work’ right next to my dad but then when our kid was 3 months old, i watched his head swivel to track the tv and i was like, nope

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@melissa

3 months

i did a bunch of research and found the only idea proffered was basically, abstain i was surprised by this abstaining is fine, but i wanted a more proactive and antifragile plan

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@melissa

10 years

Couldn't find any scissors, so I just opened a package with the heel of my stilettos.

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@melissa

3 months

my intention was to find a way to condition him that nothing on screens is particularly interesting or engaging i spent time thinking how to do this and remembered reading about public access channels in norway i decided to run an experiment with slow tv

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@melissa

11 years

I have one lone gray hair. I keep plucking it and it keeps coming back. So yeah basically it's like my head has a dead pixel.

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@melissa

7 months

number go up

tz (tiffany zhong)

@tzhongg

7 months

🏒

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@melissa

2 years

“and you know how those are spelled” — @mikethreezy my fave spaces with my fave phaces @ryder_ripps @Pauly0x @OG_Kenobi_Hello @chopper__dad

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@melissa

9 years

When I can't decide how long I should rest, I just spin the roll of numbers in the timer app, like it's nap roulette.

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@melissa

13 years

The difference between being self-employed and being unemployed is basically in your head.

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@melissa

3 months

george st pierre's famous mma coach (firas zahabi) says he can't train fighters who say fighting is their top priority in the world he says when you have priorities above fighting, you can stay more loose, playful, unbeholden to any individual thing applies to parenting too +

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@melissa

2 years

my pfp is a degentleman

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@melissa

2 years

how much money do i need to pay for addresses to never ever ever open in apple maps

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@melissa

2 years

our best memes are the memes we find ourselves making, when there is no obligation to do so.

Naval

@naval

2 years

Our best work is the work we find ourselves doing, when there is no obligation to do so.

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@melissa

8 years

'Tis the season for unsubscribing.

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@melissa

12 years

Today, matching socks. Tomorrow, the world.

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@melissa

2 years

another hero we don’t deserve

blocknoob 🦇🔊⌐🆇-🆇

@blocknoob_

2 years

A thread on @opensea exploit and how it unfolded. 1/ Project in question : @NotLarvaLabs I was browsing @genie_xyz beta to sweep one of the projects I was interested in but since gas was high, it made me wait and I started exploring their UI and the collections available.

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@melissa

10 years

Moving. My boyfriend sees me pack a huge stack of New Yorkers: "Put the iPhone down and read those instead! The movers charge by the pound!"

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@melissa

10 years

No conflict, no interest.

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@melissa

14 years

"If you don't want to be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing." Benjamin Franklin

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@melissa

1 year

we’re now in peak twitter since peak twitter

Horse ebooks

@Horse_ebooks

12 years

Everything happens so much

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@melissa

1 year

lmao at everyone saying twitter ads are dead ads are already so much better under elon

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@melissa

10 years

Order salad in Paris. Ask for dressing. Waiter will look at the bottles of oil and vinegar on your table and point, which is French for duh.

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@melissa

15 years

Guy grumbles in Chinese: "Fucking foreigners." I smugly retort in Chinese: "Except the fucking foreigner speaks Chinese." Stunned silence.

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@melissa

15 years

Everybody, go follow @god on Twitter. Oh, and also, go ahead and unfollow him IRL. Kthxbye.

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@melissa

7 months

@nospaceapp real

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@melissa

3 months

the last point is the most important one sportscasting is reserved for when he wants me to play *with* him if he’s playing by himself, my one and only job is to do NOTHING seriously, gtfo i’m never helping by helping

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@melissa

10 years

Every day is an act of faith when you have curly hair.

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@melissa

3 months

what’s high agency look like in a child? pretty similar tbh — feel sense of control –– make decisions on wants/needs –– act to meet wants/needs — reject limitations (“skill issue”) — assume ownership/responsibility — solve problems tldr find a way, make a way, go around

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@melissa

1 year

posting online about being offline

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@melissa

2 years

and @Pauly0x is a genius memer

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@melissa

7 months

@nospaceapp we out here on nospace

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@melissa

2 years

🥺

PAULY

@Pauly0x

2 years

Welcome to the Phunk Pham @melissa 🔥✊🔥

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@melissa

3 months

i just started taking creatine again and i can’t believe how much stronger i feel yesterday was leg day and i went up in weight and reps follow the bro science

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@melissa

2 years

@Pauly0x in shitpunks we trust

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@melissa

13 years

An iPhone owner is never truly alone.

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@melissa

1 year

i love how no google products have working search it’s so emblematic

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@melissa

1 year

i’m now speaking for the people i didn’t know @HBO cc @StreamOnMax

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@melissa

2 years

TIL the small circle of paper that falls on the floor after you use a hole punch is called a chad

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@melissa

11 years

Dear hotel room phone with the blinking red light: WHY YOU GOT TO LIE TO ME? I HAS NO NEW MESSAGES.

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@melissa

3 months

if parenting is your top thing, you don’t have anything to fall back on firas says: “don’t live and die in the cage, don’t live and die on the mats ... there’s so much on the line that your personality is warped”

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@melissa

9 months

daily irl

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@melissa

11 years

Celebrating 10 years of vegetarianism with a steak.

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@melissa

1 year

i had so much fun talking to chatgpt today

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@melissa

1 year

ads finally make sense on twitter the new follow button inside of promoted tweets is a gamechanger ads now make sense for *people* not just *brands* because people follow people — that’s what makes twitter so great

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@melissa

3 months

psa: i'm seeking future husband for my best friend i dm her posts on here and i'm like, husband lead question mark? this is too passive, so i'm just gonna start dm'ing prospects @ all men who are single/straight/nonpoly/late 20s to mid 30s, what's the dm you’d reply to?

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@melissa

3 years

i type in all lowercase or all uppercase — there is no in between

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@melissa

3 months

husband: “the chiefs won” me: “is that taylor’s team?”

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@melissa

3 months

salt cellars and butter penthouses

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@melissa

9 years

This goat cheese is proof that you can put truffles in almost anything and make me like it.

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@melissa

3 months

high agency seems correlated to authoritative parenting and *not* to authoritarian parenting authoritarian: do as i say authoritative: i show you what to do i think of it as playing in ceo mode, not in dictator mode so what's it mean that to fire yourself as arbiter?

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@melissa

3 months

job implies completion; work is ongoing his work is not to put his chair back his work is to put his chair back everyday effort compounded over time is more valuable

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@melissa

2 years

dear instagram, no one wants you to override volume literally no one. dear apple, time for hardware sound controls take my money now.

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@melissa

9 months

𐚁 🚀

@cowboyechoes

9 months

remember the nostalgia of Myspace, or just wanting to jump on and see what your parents constantly talk about? well @nospaceapp is here to give you exactly that!!! (and more)

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@melissa

2 years

amazon has opinions on my amazon activity

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@melissa

3 months

all this time i operated under the assumption i have pretty weak wrists, until husband pointed out they don’t ever bother me in climbing he said i probably actually have not-very-mobile wrists and now that i know the problem i can solve the problem

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@melissa

1 year

there will come a time where you should never not be querying

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@melissa

10 months

“everything is figureoutable”

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@melissa

25 days

29 days of active stretching and i regret to confirm, it works

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@melissa

2 years

markets down, memes up

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@melissa

3 months

i often get myself to work out by remembering how sad i was to miss my workout yesterday except i didn’t miss my workout yesterday, i’m just pretending

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@melissa

2 years

@enjoyoor nfts are dead i’m just wandering around this wasteland looking for survivors

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@melissa

9 years

Who needs horror movies when there's Google Images?

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@melissa

3 months

@DonExacto @anabology more than one thing can be true at once i think that’s part of preparing a child to win i think any (real) learning brings hurt i also think he’s a grownup now

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@melissa

10 years

Hiking with boyfriend: "There's a river, but no bridge. I think we can ford it." Me: "Forget it. I died of dysentery; see you back at home."

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