Bob @hoopgoth Twitter profile

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 months

Happy fw me Friday, yall fw me

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

once dated a girl who would eat a whole cake 3 bites at a time over the course of 3 weeks and when she ran out of cake she would go to the store and get a replacement cake. went to the cake store with her one time and her picture was on the wall. it was the only picture

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

“everyone’s autistic now” okay my single 63 year old neighbor with $1.2 million of model trains in his basement who wrote a 90 page letter to the city about the brightness of streetlights when i was growing up was just a regular guy then

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Bob

@hoopgoth

4 months

Breaking news from dude I grew up with who hasn’t posted in 4 years

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

Do u guys think putting these wet cigs in the air fryer will work y/n

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 years

your generation / my generation

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

99% of a relationship is having someone to be a weird little gremlin with

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

i love going on a date and realizing halfway through i’m never gonna see this person again in my life so i switch to the kind of honesty that only happens when you’re on a sinking whaling ship or a collapsed mine shaft

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

i remember exactly the last time i did cocaine because it was march 14, 2020. i woke up with a splitting headache and was like “there’s absolutely no way this day can get any worse”

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

what is the opposite of FOMO called? like when you see something you could have gone to and you’re like glad i missed out on that shit

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

@AGayNamedRural get the fuck out of here right now

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

I follow a woman on twitter, that’s a lifetime commitment. I follow a man on twitter, one bad tweet and I’m out

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Bob

@hoopgoth

4 months

Ethnical non-monogamy would make a beautiful name for a race horse

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Bob

@hoopgoth

8 months

celebrity hall passes are for randos in indiana who will never get to act on it. LA is different, if my girl wants to bang the drummer from fall out boy there’s literally nothing stopping her

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

these two need to make the most deranged anti-romcom of all time

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

@FanSince09 im going to rob you

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

Free Britney was not enough. We must give her a machine gun

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

shoutout to earl in tacony, i’m pretty sure you thought your poodle was your wife but RIP to both y’all

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

“you fumbled a bad bitch” i was really into disco elysium at the time

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Bob

@hoopgoth

7 months

Sorry I can’t make it, I try to be nonverbal by 730pm each day

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Bob

@hoopgoth

10 months

at my sister’s funeral my mom burned a cd of music she wanted played (Sarah McLachlan etc) but my mom is kinda cheap so she also just burned other songs for later. they start carrying my sister’s coffin down the aisle and out of nowhere it starts blasting Hollaback Girl

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

@GreyFades ok

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 months

A girl I met on tinder 9 years ago recommended me for a job doing social media for always sunny because “you’re from philly and you’re weird” and I got that job

ethan !!!

@slimeguyethan

2 months

share a piece of lore about yourself

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

They called Galileo slurs too

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

@zamarsonmars honestly he would wear his train conductor hat around the neighborhood without a fuck given in the world. this man was not a train conductor

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

finding out a lot of you guys have unresolved cake issues. also cake issue is a great name for a jam band

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

The update you’ve all been waiting for: I have succeeded. I am euphoric, and humbled by everyone’s unwavering support in my vision. I am officially the greatest thinker to ever come out of Philly. Fuck you Noam Chomsky. Alexander wept, for there were no worlds left to conquer

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

“Poor person behavior” I have a bidet and pay for hinge premium. This isn’t about savings, it about Saving us from the idea that salvation must come from beyond the self

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

😵‍💫 you want to hire me on your half hour television comedy show because you need a philly mf who got the juice😵‍💫

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

@mentalminxx were you on some other planet on march 15 2020

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

@JSnyder1119 You would be the guy telling Dominic Toretto not to be fast or furious

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

it’s crazy how the degenerate stoner used to be an almost entirely male archetype and now every dude “quit because of anxiety” and every girl is absolutely fucking zooted by 9am

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

making male friends is going well pt 4317

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

hi, if you’ve arrived to do discourse, please know that i am only here to get a bit off, be a menace, cause a little trouble and have fun with my friends online. please do not share any innermost thoughts with me, as i am too busy being cute and special

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

not liking cats is a symptom of a low vibrational person. grow up loser, they’re weird little monsters and that’s that whole draw

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

is anyone else following the tik tok saga of the guy fermenting kimchi on the game floor at dave and busters? (im so mad i had to string those words together)

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

testosterone is wild, one time in my 20’s a guy i kicked out of the bar threatened to kill me and i just started repeating my home address over and over

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

every adult woman has a collection of 4-6 straight male friends she is in sole charge of keeping socialized

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

Does anyone want some cigs, I don’t really smoke

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

@OuijaBakeOven How fucking dare you

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

there should be a drug that mimics the effect of a stable loving two parent household

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Bob

@hoopgoth

10 months

not to get too much into dating app discourse but a girl on a snowboard is an instant left swipe. i just know our lifestyles are fundamentally incompatible. no one with clinical depression has ever stepped foot on a snowboard

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Bob

@hoopgoth

4 months

In Philadelphia this is a traditional display of wealth and prosperity, and of good tidings to come

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Bob

@hoopgoth

8 months

@hunktears Having sex with someone from Indiana actually subtracts from your body count

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

case in point, please do not burden me with the void that lives within you

Patron Saint of Tops and Foreplay

@malusmoskau

1 year

Replace cute and special with gruesome and distressing, and this applies to pretty much the entirety of my life.

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

“did you have any?” no. there’s only one type of ca

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

if paul hollywood had brown eyes he’d be managing a dunkin’ donuts

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

@snoutwife you are now the keeper of secrets

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

saw an 8 months pregnant lady holding a sword at an antique store and it unlocked something ancient and visceral inside me

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Bob

@hoopgoth

8 months

You can fuck the drummer no problem but if you fuck Patrick I’m jumping off a bridge because I KNOW he’s going the extra mile (i do not currently have a gf)

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

Philip Morris I’m sorry you’re not alive to see the zenith of what you built

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

there’s nothing quite so LA like partying with a guy till 4am and then googling him and finding The Allegations

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

my sister would watch the lizzie mcguire movie twice a day for 6 months and one day i got so fed up i hid the dvd. so she called the cops on me and when the cops showed up they took her side

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 months

Y’all say you want a Tony Soprano boyfriend until a fat man with a felony conviction and major depressive disorder is standing right in front of you

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

the only reason im on this app is to 1. have fun and relax with my friends, and 2. find a group of likeminded people to buy a plot of land and descend into cultlike madness with so please tap that fucking follow button

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

I hope the hinge date that made me listen to a 30 minute coke fueled monologue about vanderpump rules lore before she stole my pocket knife and my AirPods is doing ok

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

God created italian women and realized they’d be too perfect so he also made them a little racist

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

Getting a trampstamp that says “fleabag season 2”

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

what’s the weirdest place you can walk into and have someone say “the usual?”

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

yeah i’m into bdsm, being dumb on social media

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

“Me and my partner like to socialize and go hiking” well ur lame and wrong, it’s about speaking in bird noises and treating each other like a freaky little science experiment

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

this thread is a dedicated space for hot and sexy singles to have fun and relax, please find a mountain to scream from to safely release this energy and not damage the vibe

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 years

Sometimes I think about how when my Italian grandma and Irish grandpa got together in the 50’s it was a HUGE scandal and now my nephew Hambone is in a relationship with a sailor moon bodypillow and no one gives a shit

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

Dating a woman in her 30’s is tough because you’re not competing against other men, you’re competing with the warm embrace of spinsterhood.

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Bob

@hoopgoth

6 months

That’s fair tbh

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

Update: I dont frl s0 go d

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

A lot of you guys posting your Spotify wrapped didn’t hyperfixate on one super embarrassing song due to mental illness and it shows

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

growing up in philly was fun, follow me for more tales from round the way

Bob

@hoopgoth

3 years

Sometimes I think about how when my Italian grandma and Irish grandpa got together in the 50’s it was a HUGE scandal and now my nephew Hambone is in a relationship with a sailor moon bodypillow and no one gives a shit

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Bob

@hoopgoth

4 months

@pyrameadhead He sounds smart

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 years

@mirhandjob Normalize sex finishing just before the delivery driver arrives

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

@spoopylori @mentalminxx the word hubby is not allowed here

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Bob

@hoopgoth

10 months

Eating fast food alone is sad and depressing. Eating fast food with a lover is a dirty sexy little secret

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Bob

@hoopgoth

11 months

@former_gcup as a 34 year old man my joints are too sore to run around on you

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Bob

@hoopgoth

4 months

follow me if you’re on that meatball mindset or u are willing to start a life together

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

@TweetyPS3 @goblinshoes This experiment is bigger than one air fryer. I am operating at the limits of human achievement

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Bob

@hoopgoth

4 months

@CypressDahlia Anything is possible when you got that meatball mindset

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 months

She let me hit because I got a Coca Cola freestyle machine at the crib

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

@vanwassenhove more people saw this tweet than babylon

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Bob

@hoopgoth

10 months

this is her, she was one of a kind

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

whats a good female performance where she's a weird little freak who thinks she's playing it cool

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

@emmyontwt I appreciate the support on my journey, I’m doing this for all of us

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Bob

@hoopgoth

10 months

when i was a teenager, a girl carved the word LOVE into my arm with a razor blade (i still have a faded V). she handed me the razor and stuck out her leg and i thought for a long moment and wrote BOB

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

@Sterling3225 ski mask, check sawed off, check

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

YEAH JERKOFF ITS 4322 HONEYSUCKLE LANE, THE YARD WITH THE SIGN THAT SAYS HOME IS WHERE THE WINE IS YOU FUCKIN JITBAG

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

tf when it’s not a trap

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

way too many people are trying to answer this question at face value instead of getting a bit off and i’d like for that to stop

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Bob

@hoopgoth

4 months

@monocledrop Haters found dead

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

whenever I see someone stop posting on here I’m reminded of that scene in good will hunting and I’m like “😏 that son of a bitch really did it”

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

proof that this is real (disregard all the inside jokes)

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 months

@bugmarmalade Selling the rights to HBO

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

It breaks my heart whenever I see a hot girl living somewhere with winter. Let ugly people do that

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Bob

@hoopgoth

3 years

I bought a black bathing suit from H&M and when I got home I unfolded it and saw that it had a branded rick and mortuary logo on it. I can’t even bring myself to return it, Just gonna throw it outside of a goodwill without slowing down

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Bob

@hoopgoth

10 months

“bUt i sNoWbOaRd and i have depression” let me let you in on a secret. i posted without knowing or caring that you exist at all

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

if u want the expanded bobby payne lore bang my dm’s

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Bob

@hoopgoth

1 year

don’t cancel me but i think it’s perfectly fine and good to meet up with someone for a quick coffee or a public place for a vibe check before deciding if you want to expend additional energy on them for a “real” date. having said that i am willing to marry a stranger in vegas

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Bob

@hoopgoth

2 years

Stop tagging your partners in the qt, start tagging your hot single friend that likes a project

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Bob

@hoopgoth

8 months

It’s been so rewarding connecting with these d̶e̶r̶a̶n̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶l̶i̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ ̶f̶r̶e̶a̶k̶s̶ ̶ passionate fans of wwdits for a living. It means a lot that we could be insane about shadows together. Be good to each other and go easy on the next poor sucker