Michelle B (she/her) @ffmichelle Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Michelle B (she/her)

@ffmichelle

1,337

Followers

975

Following

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Statuses

MSN, RN, CEN, CNE, NPD-BC … dream job still dreamy! STILL wearing a mask. Penguin enthusiast. Vaxxed. Opinions my own. 🐧🌈

United States

Joined January 2010

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

Expressing appreciation when someone does something that helps you is not a weakness. I just made a call to one of the charge nurses thanking them for prioritizing their downgrades. That was the sole purpose for the call. Coworker scoffed at me for it. 😒

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but a C-section **IS** a **MAJOR** abdominal surgery. If you’ve never actually seen one or experienced one, sit down. As a nursing student watching one, I was WHOLLY unprepared for how major it was. Yeah, it’s a subtweet. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

@Gaery81 You weren’t trained to do a proper c-section. If anything, you were trained to do a crash section, when the pregnant person was already dead, and it was a last ditch effort to try and save the fetus. Mortality was pretty high even 100 years ago, so your stat is bullshit.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

Listen. People that are child free are not obligated to work a non-equitable number of holidays that are perceived to be family-centric. *I* will likely offer to work them, but I am under no obligation to do so because I chose to not procreate. Don’t expect it. 😡

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

@Gaery81 Bruh … I did 15 years of fire/EMS before nursing school. I know the curriculum. This isn’t an argument you’re going to win.

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Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

This is why I have zero hope for humanity. Why haven’t we met them, you ignorant potato? I’ll wait …

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

13 days

@MEHtheNurseTwin How do people even think it’s ok to say those things out loud?

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

@freschly_snipes The only one I’ve seen was also in nursing school. It was horrifying how brutal it was!

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Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

Oh my fucking gods. I don’t give a flying fuck that someone told you the pt is a “drug seeker”! They just had their abdomen split in two. GIVE THEM THE DAMN PAIN MEDICINE! 🤬🤬🤬🤬

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Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

@Saltmine1000 If you already know, then I wasn’t shouting at you. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

@lordgarmad0n Right?! I honestly couldn’t believe what I was seeing!

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Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

@soldadera81 A worthy brag when lives are on the line.

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Michelle B (she/her)

7 months

@TwichellSydney I travel nursed for a while (before it was cool), and the small town inside-the-grocery-store Starbucks baristas knew my order on site. I could be 4 back in the line, but when they saw me, “Hey Michelle! The usual?” This went on for a year. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

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Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

@Gaery81 Look at you not knowing how to use the space bar? 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Michelle B (she/her)

8 months

Pro Nurse Tip: if the little vial hanging from the small bag of saline is a powder, you have to mix that powder with that saline to make a medication. 😬 Absolutely no reason for this tweet.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@SaltyLikeSaline I do that, and I talk to them as I’m getting them ready for the body bag. Not silly at all. Kind and respectful. Maintaining dignity, even after death, is an honor. Keep up the good work. 💚

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

Too harsh? Inappropriate? Trying to start a fight? Sending it anyway. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

@Gaery81 From Pub Med … a very quick Google search, with typos … 🤷🏼‍♀️ Give up, my dude. You are not going to win this argument.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

@ihatewoke Oh, I have. In the ER. 😕

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@skeletalrad That’s actually how we found out a trauma pt was pregnant one day. She didn’t know, but surprise! A small human on the abdomen/pelvis CT!

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@SaltyLikeSaline Your fellow nurses (and some docs 😬) know you went above, beyond, and a couple miles past that. Some families don’t know how to deal with their anger and grief and denial and say/do stupid shit. But *we* know you’re a rockstar. 🤩🤩🥰🥰

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

Just a reminder for anyone who takes care of acute pts on vents: If you paralyze without sedation (on purpose), you are a horrible person, and you should lose your license. (Everyone makes mistakes … I once pushed the sux before the etomidate. Only once though.)

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

Discussing SVT: “Stable gets medicine, unstable gets Edison.” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

9 months

Because he is an IMG, we have a fully grown medical doctor (went through residency and everything) working as an ER tech, while he goes through ERAS and the match, so he can do residency again, so he can practice in the US. What the shit?!

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

Shout out to that time a resident told me that my ER pt on levophed (norepinephrine) “would be a floor pt anywhere else”. 😂😂😂😂 I wonder how he’s doing. I hope he’s well and that his pts receive excellent care. Also that he learned why levophed goes to the ICU.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

Night shift is just as important as day shift. I will not be taking further questions on this matter.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

For context: they’re doing a colonoscopy educational thing in one of the lobbies today. Amusingly, it’s right next to Starbucks. 🤭

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@ShannonSevigny “That’s a great idea/point, Diane. Thanks for bringing it up.” It’s even better if their name is not Diane.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

Hey Emergency #NurseTwitter … what’s the one random thing about the ER you think new grad and new-to-the-ER nurses should know? Things like: soak dried blood in lube for 10-15 minutes, and it’ll come off much easier! (Works great in hair)

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@DGlaucomflecken The classic “And who is this you’ve brought with you?” line rarely fails me. 😂😂

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@bell1_dr I did favors for *everyone* at one job, and when I needed someone to cover just a couple of hours so I could go to a funeral, crickets. No more favors from me, and all of a sudden I’m the difficult one. 😒

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@DrTobiasFunky We also drink it at 2am. Honestly, all of the times. I decided it was the healthiest, because the neurosurgeons always walked into the ER in the middle of the night with one in their hand. You can’t argue with science. 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

I needed 50/100 on my final paper to get a B, which is minimum passing. Your girl got 100/100 on her final paper and got a proper A, instead! 🤩🤩 My grad school GPA might end up being close to 3.9! 🤭🤭

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

Concluded the interview for the ER educator position yesterday around 230p. Received a call at 720p to set up a time today to discuss the offer for the position. Offer discussed, considered, and accepted! Starting in January. Yah! And I’m being compensated well for exp/ed. 🤩🤩

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

9 months

Dear all healthcare people everywhere, If the family says “they’ve been drinking a lot”, and the pt can’t corroborate, because they’re unresponsive, do a good assessment. At the very least, check the pupils. If they’re unequal, the problem isn’t alcohol. Love, The ICH w/shift

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

Soooooo … this is the thing I did. 😬

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

@GreeneWendy That’s fair. My apologies to potatoes.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

11 months

Hey #NurseTwitter and #MedTwitter … especially #EMTwitter Give me examples of words used to describe pts that are awful (junkie, fatty, etc) … I’m working on a list of words to NOT use, and better alternatives, for our new grads! Noncompliant already has its own slide.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

So, a pt comes out after a torsion (testicle, ovary, doesn’t matter). No beds, so we’re holding in PACU. Pt’s nurse won’t tell them whether the testis/ovary had to be removed, pt keeps asking. Pt fully awake/recovered. Surgeon went back to bed. Tell the pt, or no? 🤔

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@EruditeElf @jtrebach I don’t think you’re sorry at all, and I support that. 😂

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@nursekelsey End of nursing school preceptorship. Pt had fallen the week before, unresp since. She was DNR, but held on for her 100th birthday. Big family celebration. The night I had her, RR 3-4/min. I just held her hand and told her she could rest now. One tear fell down her cheek. Peace.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

Currently sobbing on my couch after learning one of my friends, who legitimately medically could not get vaccinated, got intubated today secondary to covid. Fuck all y’all who won’t get vaccinated to protect those who can’t. Fuck. You. All.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

Hey emergency folk! I need memes! I’ve got a few classes for new grad ER nurses coming up, and I want to spice up the PowerPoints a bit! Things like this:

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 month

Me, minding my own business in my first class window seat … Woman: would you mind switching to the other aisle, so I can sit with my husband? Me: yes, in fact, I would mind. Woman: <stares in offended boomer> Me: <goes back to looking out the window> 🤷🏼‍♀️

@SteamboatUSA

SOTUS

1 month

Mad respect to the guy in front of me on this plane who got asked to move from the aisle to the middle seat so this other gentleman could sit with his wife and he looked at the husband dead in the face and goes “I’m not sitting in a middle seat for you guys I’m sorry.”

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

7 months

A funny story: Last week, I was in my office at work, adulting like an actual grownup … making a new patient appointment with a new gyn for an annual appointment exam. I was using my personal cell, with my Air Pods in, when one of my nurses came in to ask a question. 1/4

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

Dear admin, If we have taught your nurses something 6 times in 4 different ways, and they are still making the same mistakes, it’s a compliance issue, not an education issue. Start writing people up. Either the problem will resolve, or the trash will take itself out. RN Edu.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

7 months

Still me: that must have been a very disturbing conversation to listen to without any context! I’m the educator at a local ER … not a serial killer or anything. Receptionist: ohhhh. Ok. That makes so much more sense! 😂 4/4

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

@pathologiste08 @candid_kitten My best friend’s mom had polio when she was 2, not long before the vaccine came out. Basically, she learned to walk, and then never walked again.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

12 days

#MedTwitter #NurseTwitter I’m helping with a spelling bee for Nurse’s Week … give me some good medical words!! Poikilothermia is currently my favorite. 😬

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Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@DGlaucomflecken Remember, you’re only allowed to cry in the supply room, the med room, or the parking deck. 💚

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

4 years

@Drnicolecb I talked to my first semester nursing students about trauma informed care this week! Which turned into a discussion of so many other great things that will make them not only better nurses, but better humans.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

4 years

@DGlaucomflecken Dear everyone in Europe and Canada baffled by US healthcare, Yeah, we’re baffled, too. Sincerely, the nurses.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 months

We’re doing a mock code today for a clinical area that doesn’t get a lot of critical anything. I wrote the “script” for the “family” at bedside … their treatment suggestions are all from anti-vax Twitter. 😂😂 I’ll tell you my favorite suggestion when we’re finished. 😂

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@MelissaAReed Which is why I don’t actually ever answer the question “what’s the worst thing you’ve seen”, and just throw out a “funny things we’ve pulled out of butts” story. You don’t want the things I have in my head in your head.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@ParadigmPins @MavenOfMayhem When my gynecologist told me I was too young for a hysterectomy (36), and that my future partner may want kids, I said, “well, he better figure out a away to shoot them out of his penis, because I’m not doing it.” 😒

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Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@jtrebach I once sent a friend Taco Bell tacos (in biohazard bags) though the tube system. She was hungry, I had extras. Worked out for everyone, confused the monitor tech who received the tube on her floor. 😂😂

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

9 months

Apparently the powers that be are trying to shorten orientation. Fortunately, I am very compelling, and my ER Director thinks I know what I’m talking about. 12 weeks for an ER orientation? For a new grad? At a trauma center? With these volumes?! Absolutely not.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

Buy stickers. Prevent mispronunciation. But more importantly, support trans women of color!

@gothspiderbitch

Sarah McGonagall

@gothspiderbitch

2 years

since Joanne filed a report against my shop and made it so that I cannot access my income for the next 45 days, I designed a sticker in her honor. 50¢ from each one sold will directly benefit trans women of color in need. I hope she likes it!✨

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Michelle B (she/her)

4 months

Q2h VS for pt on Levophed. PRN adenosine on a step-down unit (to be given by nursing on their discretion, without a physician present). These are things I have from other units in my hospital today. It took a lot to not throw things. 😡

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@fuzzymittens Bless her heart. She gonna learn her some stuff alright. 😂

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Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@DirtyThirtyRN Strongly agree. There’s a chick on the FNP track in my MSN program that did ADN, went straight into BSN, then straight to MSN, while working from home as a medical coder. Not a single day bedside. Whaaaaaaat?!

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@Q2turnQueen We should all have one throat punch we can hand out per shift.

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Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@oldladynewRN @SaltyLikeSaline We did this a lot in the ER.

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Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@dremilyportermd @kari_jerge I can’t tell you the number of times I have sent pts out of the door of the ER with their prescriptions, and coupons for GoodRX, for multiple pharmacies in the area, because I’d try to find them the cheapest one. Working in un/underinsured areas, GoodRX saves lives.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@drmaran You know what? Dr G actually, literally died. He can be funny whenever and wherever he wants. And there’s a whole truckload of us that will stand in front of anyone gunning for him. I don’t know him personally, no idea what his real name is, no idea where he lives. Will fight.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

@PhD_RN5 Nuclear power plant maybe? 🤷🏼‍♀️

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@DGlaucomflecken And we still can’t get sharks with laser beams on their frickin’ heads. Living in the future is highly overrated sometimes.

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Michelle B (she/her)

4 months

Just lost respect for the Daisy Award … you’re excited to be associated with RaDonda? Mmmkay. That’s certainly a stance. As others have said, I’m all for supporting other nurses, but she didn’t read the vial in her hand, and someone DIED. I’m not supporting that.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@JayMathewsMD I would consider speaking to the head of local law enforcement. I know you want to avoid confrontation, but probably worth a shot. Educate gently? Mad props on the improv, though! Definitely get the boat as a reward to yourself for being awesome! 🤩

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

15 days

@JustineLeves01 Absolutely do NOT feel embarrassed. It is a very human response, to feel the loss. As long as you don’t make the moment about you, it’s probably one of the most comforting things a family can see. They will know that we did everything we could, and we grieve this loss, too. 💚

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Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@jsekharan That’s a great outlook, and is appreciated by people who sometimes get stuck doing the bad stuff.

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Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

Jesus fuck. I hate Joint Commission nonsense … A unit is being told they have to move their hydration station that they’ve had in place for years, for no good fucking reason.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@DrigoMunoz My first semester nursing students often get subjected to my soapbox lecture about proper use of pronouns, preferred names, and if they can’t check their bias at the door, then they need to get the hell out of nursing. 💚

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Michelle B (she/her)

14 days

@jtrebach Andy Weir. Anything he’s written, but ESPECIALLY Project Hail Mary, which is *phenomenal* as an audiobook!

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Michelle B (she/her)

4 months

I will not tolerate this slander. #Vernors is absolutely medicine!

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Michelle B (she/her)

11 months

@TakeThatNurses Not all heroes wear capes. But I do think we should bring back capes … capes are awesome

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

4 years

@ZacBoska @SkyMoral @HamiltonMusical @disneyplus They’re not bleeping the fuck in my living room! 😂

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Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@DGlaucomflecken You’re not wrong.

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Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

I’m trying to impress this upon the new nurses coming in. Fingers crossed it sticks, and they help influence the ones that sometimes forget.

@EM_RESUS

Sam Ghali, M.D.

1 year

Just a friendly periodic reminder that what has become routine to you, may be one of the scariest times in your patient’s life.

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Michelle B (she/her)

3 months

I’m not saying that unions are the answer to all our hopes and prayers, but the only hospitals I’ve ever gotten an actual covered break as a bedside nurse, by a dedicated break nurse, were Union hospitals. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@fuzzymittens Wait … as a nurse, am I supposed to be able to twerk? ‘Cause I’m gonna need some muscle relaxers or something to help my body move like that. Pretty sure there’s at least going to need to be a hip reduction if I try. I hate being a bad nurse. 😭

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Michelle B (she/her)

26 days

Boarding pts in a hall on a med/surg floor has better outcomes than boarding them in the ER. The morning census says there are 65 pts in our 53 bed ER, 50 of those are admits waiting for beds. 😕

@EM_RESUS

Sam Ghali, M.D.

30 days

What’s your unpopular medical opinion that would land you in this position? Drop it in this thread

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Michelle B (she/her)

2 months

Don’t be the kind of nurse that runs the nurses that are our future off. Nurses eat their young is such a shit mindset. We need people that care and nurture.

@CoolLesbianAunt

Cool Lesbian Aunt, RN🏳️‍🌈

@CoolLesbianAunt

2 months

I don’t want to be a nurse anymore. The mean girls are breaking me.

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Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@matthewbowker The only I come to work is because they pay me and they let me stab people. Probably close to 97% success on that one. It’s all about timing and delivery. 😂

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Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

I just spent almost 4 hours wandering around the hospital, chatting with every single unit, seeing if anyone needed anything, checking on staffing needs, and generally just being out there, as is expected of the house supervisors. Odd how many said they never see the sups. 🤨

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Michelle B (she/her)

10 months

Classic.

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Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@joshmcgoo We had “hot Cheetos belly” as an official dx at one place I worked. 😂 It applied to Takis as well.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

I’ve been pretty excited about the whole MSN thing all day. My coworker and I were rounding today, and he took every opportunity to ask me, “Hey Michelle, did you just finish your MSN?” in front of absolutely everyone we ran across. So I got to do a little happy dance. 1/2

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Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@ATStillYoGirl As long as you ask her in a manner where she is clear there is no obligation. I hope it works out the best way possible for both of you!

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Michelle B (she/her)

1 month

Holy shit!! It’s been like 30 minutes since I submitted my abstract … … AND IT WAS ACCEPTED!!!!! I was entirely unprepared for success in this endeavor. 🥴

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Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@fuzzymittens You’re not a customer, you’re a patient, and you’re not always right. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

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Michelle B (she/her)

7 months

Still me: I suppose because they’re already dead, and we can’t make them any deader, so the filter probably doesn’t matter as much. 🤷🏼‍♀️ RN: hmm. Honestly, that’s pretty reasonable. Thanks! Me: welcome! <realizes I’m still on the phone> Oh, my goodness … 3/4

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

3 years

@jephjacques Was given this assignment in my MSN program. Interview a nurse educator. In the middle of a fucking pandemic. Bruh. All the smart nurses I want to talk to, want to do this via email. I got a couple of points knocked off, but I’d rather not endanger my colleagues, thanks.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@RN_Atheist Our nursing students aren’t taught to start IVs at all.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@DuchessSexpert I swear! I slipped in the shower! -every random object in the rectum pt ever.

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

1 year

@drjessigold @BassoonYsu One year, I was on a travel contract. They handed out backpacks during huddle, and they went to hand one to me, said, “Oh, you’re a traveler”, and pulled it back, and moved on to the next one. 🤩😒

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

@Paladium322 100000% yes! Have reached the point in my life where if me doing what is best for a pt gets me fired, I’m at peace. Also … dude, I’ll have a new job tomorrow. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

4 months

@KarenPercy1 I discovered it the last time we got a giant Costco pack. My hiney definitely felt fancier. 🤩

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

8 months

@BassoonYsu THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR THIS TWEET. (It was multiple people on multiple units. None in the EC, thank the gods.)

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@ffmichelle

Michelle B (she/her)

2 years

You guys!!! 3.9 gpa and 100% complete!!!!

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