Existential Comics (find me on bluesky) @existentialcoms Twitter profile

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

4 years

If I woke up tomorrow and my boss told me that today at my job I had to shoot rubber bullets and throw tear gas at people protesting racism because one of my coworkers killed someone in cold blood, I would simply quit that job and do something useful like stock grocery shelves.

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@existentialcoms

1 year

Why are ethics questions always like: "is it ethical to steal bread to feed your starving family?" And not: "is it ethical to hoard bread when families are starving?"

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@existentialcoms

9 months

Søren Kierkegaard claimed that if a person behaved perfectly rationally they would be so discordant with civil society that people would deem them mad.

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@existentialcoms

1 year

A lot of people make fun of Elon Musk's tunnels, but I'm impressed by it. You could give me 1,000 years and I'd never come up with a solution to traffic as dumb as "a single lane tunnel for only one kind of car that you still have to drive in". Truly beyond the scope of my mind.

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@existentialcoms

3 years

Capitalism requires infinite growth or it collapses. It cannot solve climate change, ever. End of discussion.

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@existentialcoms

4 years

Landlords do not "provide" housing. Construction workers provide housing. Landlords, in fact, do the opposite of providing housing. They take the houses that were built for people to live in, hold them hostage for rent, and evict anyone who can't pay.

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@existentialcoms

4 years

When rich CEOs brag about how many hours they work, remember that they have servants who clean their house, cook their meals, and do their shopping. When you have to do these things for yourself, it doesn't count as "working", mysteriously.

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@existentialcoms

2 years

People like Elon Musk think the left has become "radical" because people want to like...put pronouns in their bio. He doesn't realize that actual radical leftists have always openly advocated to ████ █████ ██ people like him █████ ███ until the world is free.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

3 years

The neoliberal solution to climate change is to hope that somehow it will become profitable to save the planet. This will not work.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

6 years

Watching Elon Musk seamlessly moving from "the free market solves everything" to "trade unions sow social division among classes" and "we need a watchdog to discredit lying journalists" is like watching capitalism decay into fascism in real time on twitter.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

It's unfair to call the Marvel movies "kid's movies", they also have serious political messages, such as: - America is good - the military is good - military contractors are good - billionaires are good - heroes protect the existing power structure, villains try to change society

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

2 months

The only way to be pro-Israel at this point is simply to believe that Palestinians are not human beings.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

2 years

i hate to break it to J.R. Rowling but literally the first thing people would do if they had magic would be to get freaky with gender. like five seconds after discovering magic they'd be turning each other into hot girls and dudes with two dicks, etc, and so forth, et al.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Capitalism didn't give us the internet. Large-scale cooperation, open protocols, and free software gave us the internet. Capitalism gave us mobile sites that don't work because fifteen ads cover the screen.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

1 month

So apparently I was gifted a verification? So let me just say this, as an official, verified person: Elon Musk is a fucking Nazi. I mean this literally, he is an actual Nazi in every way and would have marched hand in hand with Hitler. He uses this platform for race politics.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

3 years

Man, minimum wage discourse is wild. Conservatives just come out and say stuff like: "Learn economics. Capitalism requires a supply of millions of desperate exploitable workers living in poverty to reduce the price of commodities consumed by the wealthier class, which is good,"

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

4 years

Rent is a tax that poor people pay to rich people for the right to live in society.

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@existentialcoms

6 months

"Hamas has hidden tunnels beneath hospitals in Gaza" is one of the more insane pieces of propaganda I've ever seen. Are we all supposed to accept as a premise that Israel is justified in bombing hospitals that have tunnels below them? You can't bomb hospitals NO MATTER WHAT.

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@existentialcoms

6 years

J.K. Rowling 1997: I hope my book brings happiness to children. J.K. Rowling 2017: Harry Potter would support loosening regulations to allow capital to flow more freely across borders.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

8 months

I would like to issue a formal apology to the X community for implying that the Telsa Autopilot™ feature could be engage safely around pedestrians. According to industry experts Telsa's Autopilot is dangerous and unreliable, and I will do better in the future to express this.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

5 years

British literature: I will die for duty. French literature: I will die for love. German literature: I will die for greatness. Russian literature: Yeah I'm the one that killed the other three guys.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

5 years

Capitalism: good news! with technology we can produce more with half the work. Workers: cool! so we only have to work half the hours? Capital: … Workers: we get paid double? Capital: … Workers: we retire sooner? Capital: … Workers: … Capital: btw, we rolled back your pensions

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@existentialcoms

4 years

Bill Gates made his money by extinguishing free software and forcing us to pay him a tax just to turn our computers on. This was only possible because the State was ready to violently enforce his "intellectual property". He didn't created a computer revolution, he destroyed one.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

5 years

Nietzsche: God is dead. Everyone: wow cool. Nietzsche: No, not cool you little shits. Now we have to be God ourselves. Can you replace God? No, because are all a bunch of idiots. Everyone: oh shit.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

2 years

Elon Musk is still so butthurt from the time I said he was like the villain from Altas Shrugged that he went back and replied to the thread 3 years later! It just goes to show, no matter how much you win at life, you can still be a loser in your heart. It's almost inspiring.

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@existentialcoms

6 months

All of Israel's propaganda is more or less the same. They claim Israel is doing ethnic cleansing in a civilized, enlightened, moral way. They claim Palestinians are resisting ethnic cleansing in a barbaric, ignorant, evil way. The absurdity of this doesn't seem to bother them.

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@existentialcoms

2 years

Can't stop thinking about how we could have knocked out covid by simply paying everyone to chill at home for like 3 weeks right at the start. Or at literally any other point.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

5 years

Likely reasons you can't get a girlfriend: - You are an asshole. - You have poor hygiene habits. - You are too scared to even ask girls out. Unlikely reasons you can't get a girlfriend: - postmodern neo-marxists have infiltrated the universities.

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@existentialcoms

4 years

if the economy is crashing because people can't work, i don't understand why the entrepreneurs don't just create more wealth. i've been told for years that they are the wealth creators. what is the matter? do they need the workers or something?

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@existentialcoms

3 years

The funniest part of the "if we double the salary of fast food workers it will double the price of burgers" people is that they appear to believe that 100% of the dollars paid for food goes directly to the workers.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

4 years

The funniest thing about Elon Musk in the last few years is finding out that he's just a stupid person. Like he's just dumb. He isn't even smart at one thing and dumb at others, he's just pure dumb. Nerds all thought he was some kind of genius just because he was into nerd shit.

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@existentialcoms

4 years

Democracy is when an unelected 87 year old dies and now all the laws might change for some reason.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Capitalism began in England around the 16th century. They immediately went on to colonize half the planet in search of new markets, committed multiple genocides, traded slaves, and engaged in constant war. In school we learn about how communism is evil because of a famine.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

4 years

Landlords are like, "but how will I pay my mortgage if there is a rent freeze?" Perhaps by doing work at a job. But thanks for the reminder that my labor not only pays for your living, it also pays for your ownership of the very building I'm renting.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

5 years

British novel: let's go to a party and find a wife. German novel: let's go to the wilderness and find ourselves. Russian novel: let's go to the depths of despair and then find out there is an even deeper level of despair we didn't know about and go there.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Child: "Grandpa, what did you do during the rise of fascism?" Grandpa: "I can proudly say that I bravely stood up to the people who were mean to the fascists, upholding the highest value: civility." Child: "God damn Grandpa, you are a fucking idiot."

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Capitalism is quite literally going to destroy the planet in order to make more money for the small percentage of people who own production, so no, I don't think it is "not perfect, but the best system we can have."

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Socialism will never work, people are too selfish. That's why we have a system where you work your entire life to make your boss richer while you get the scraps. To accommodate your natural selfishness.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

5 years

Joe Biden: Do I work with racists? Absolutely. Do I respect racists? Of course. Do I like racists? Big time. Do I admire racists? Heck yeah. Do I pass racist legislation? All the time. Am I a racist? First of all, how dare you...

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@existentialcoms

2 years

Wealth of the top 100 Russian "oligarchs" combined: $567 billion. Wealth of Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Bill Gates combined: $594 billion. Lucky for us our billionaires are good guys though, right?

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@existentialcoms

10 months

Elon Musk (greatest genius of our time) running a social media platform: "what if we don't let people look at the website".

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

3 months

Starship Troopers discourse is funny because it reveals how Fascism is the only ideology so stupid it can't even recognize itself. When Ayn Rand parodies socialists in Atlas Shrugged, you don't see socialists saying "no it was about something else." They just say she is wrong.

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@existentialcoms

4 years

People who say things like "I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy" don't understand what a real enemy is.

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@existentialcoms

6 years

we must imagine Sisyphus happy and also as an otter

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@existentialcoms

3 years

Lord of the Rings is considered a fantasy because the trees win the battle against industrialization.

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@existentialcoms

6 years

French novel: I can't decide who to fuck. British novel: I can't decide who to marry. Russian novel: I can't decide who to kill.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

6 months

Israel's obvious lies aren't meant to convince people who don't want to kill Palestinian children, they are meant to placate the guilt of people who DO want to kill Palestinian children. People are willing to accept any flimsy pretext to believe that they are not monsters.

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@existentialcoms

6 months

Call for a ceasefire? They are bombing hospitals. We should be shooting down Israeli jets. And by the way we absolutely would be if Palestinians had blonde hair.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

4 years

Bill Gates, the supposed "good guy" billionaire not being sure if he would vote for Trump rather than have a 2% wealth tax or whatever is why billionaires cannot exist. No one should control that much power. They will fight to maintain their power, against democracy, every time.

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@existentialcoms

7 months

If you can't stand against State sponsored ethnic cleansing then what can you stand for? What are you even doing on this Earth?

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@existentialcoms

4 years

The greatest trick capitalist propaganda ever pulled was convincing people that "freedom" meant something like "being able to choose between 27 different flavors of ice cream", and not "having the material conditions of life allow for the pursuit of your own creative potential".

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

1 year

The amazing thing about these misogynist self help gurus like Andrew Tate, or even Jordan Peterson, is how obvious it is that they are deeply unhappy people. It is a dead end ideology, even if you get everything you want you'll remain bitter, insecure, and hateful.

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@existentialcoms

7 years

There has been a lot of confusion about the difference between fascists and anti-fascists, so I've made this handy chart:

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@existentialcoms

4 years

Congrats to Bolivia in returning to a government for the people. Condolences to all the journalists working for billionaires in the USA who have to try to spin democracy as "authoritarianism" in the next few years.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Greatest moment of enlightenment for philosophers: Aristotle: reads Plato Descartes: reads Aristotle Hume: reads Descartes Kant: reads Hume Hegel: reads Kant Marx: reads Hegel Foucault: takes acid in the desert and is like "whoa dude, what if…like…EVERYTHING is a prison??"

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@existentialcoms

3 years

BEWARE: As Halloween gets closer, parents need to make sure to LOOK at your child’s candy. Some people are giving out what looks like normal candy, but turns out to be Karl Marx's classic critique of capitalism "Das Kaptial", in the original German.

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@existentialcoms

6 years

I usually hate people posting screencaps of someone blocking them, but Elon Musk arguing with me that he succeeded *in spite* of billions in public funding, then calling me a chimp and blocking me is too good. BTW, SpaceX launched a government funded rocket *during* these tweets.

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@existentialcoms

4 years

Only in the United States will we drop a bomb on a state official in a foreign country that we're not at war with, and then call THEM the terrorist.

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@existentialcoms

7 years

A scientist, a philosopher, and a poet walk into a bar. They all drink heavily to try to forget the state that society is in.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Under capitalism some of our smartest engineers go to school for years to study, then go to work trying to figure out more effective ways to get children addicted to gambling mechanics in game apps. This is what economists call "the market self organizing to meet our needs".

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@existentialcoms

4 years

Centrists are like: "extremism is dangerous on both sides, that's why I support the moderate, reasonable, non-extreme system where like 12 dudes own half the world."

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@existentialcoms

4 years

So it turns out that the people who stock grocery stores, drive trucks, farm, and work in hospitals are actually the ones preventing civilization from collapsing. Meanwhile the bankers, CEOs, and entrepreneurs can all stop what they are doing and no one even notices or cares.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Remember when the Panama Papers revealed that the ultra rich all had a secret tax-evasion island where they hid their assets, and nothing happened? Well, you'd think the ultra rich having a secret rape island would be taken a little more seriously, but it's not looking good.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

6 years

Capitalism is quite literally going to destroy the planet for profit and centrists will be on the survival raft saying "I'm not saying capitalism is perfect, but it's the best system we've got. See this supply and demand graph? This is why socialism doesn't work."

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@existentialcoms

9 months

I think my biggest takeaway from being on twitter for years is that libertarians are even dumber than you'd think.

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@existentialcoms

3 years

American politics becomes a lot clearer if you mentally replace the word "freedom" with "property" every time a politician uses it.

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@existentialcoms

6 years

Tips for people new to cooking: 1. Use more garlic. 2. Every online recipe lies to you about how much garlic to use. 3. One clove? Are you fucking kidding me? I can't even taste it. 4. I want my whole mouth to taste like garlic for a week.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

"Haven't you heard? Communism is awful, millions died." "But haven't millions died under capitalism too?" "Yes, but under capitalism poor people deserve to die."

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@existentialcoms

4 years

The real torture wasn't that Sisyphus has to roll the rock up the hill for eternity, it was that Zeus kept telling him that if he worked hard and applied himself, one day he might be able to pay off his student loans.

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@existentialcoms

6 years

If college is a job training program then your boss should be paying for it. The idea that we should go into personal debt in order to better serve the business owners is beyond absurd.

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@existentialcoms

4 years

The American system of propaganda is so powerful it has even convinced people that we don't have propaganda here.

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@existentialcoms

4 years

The absolute funniest part of capitalist ideology is that they someone managed to convince everyone that "freedom" meant like...the freedom to choose between 63 kinds of shampoo, and not like...the freedom to quit a job you hate without losing your health insurance.

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@existentialcoms

9 years

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "An honest, brave, compassionate human being." "No…I mean, how do you want to sell your labor?"

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@existentialcoms

6 years

Nerd culture is funny because it fooled an entire generation into thinking that if you liked sci-fi and disliked sports, that somehow made you smart.

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@existentialcoms

3 years

I don't know who needs to hear this, but rats abandoning a sinking ship isn't a sign that they've had a moral awakening on the nature of ships.

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@existentialcoms

8 years

Communism is good in theory, but in practice it usually just ends up being destroyed in a military coup financed by the CIA.

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@existentialcoms

4 years

This pandemic has shown clearly that Americans are the most brainwashed people on earth. Not only do half of us literally not believe in science, but now people think "freedom" is…intentionally not wearing a mask to help a disease spread faster? Valuing shopping over life? What?

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@existentialcoms

4 years

The wealthy elite will fight tooth and nail against free college for two reasons: 1. it will be harder to fill the ranks of the military with poor people if college is free. 2. starting off workers with enormous debt is the greatest innovation that capitalism ever came up with.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Rent is basically just a tax that poor people pay to rich people in order to live in society.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Greek philosophy: how to live the good life. German philosophy: how to know the world. French philosophy: how to understand society. American philosophy: how to justify neo-imperialist exploitation of the third world.

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@existentialcoms

4 years

We have gulags, we just call it "prison labor". We have secret police, we just call it "undercover cops". We have brutal crackdowns on dissent, we just call it "riot control". Everything they tell you to hate about other countries we have right here, right now. Fight it at home.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

The funny thing about Kafka is if the same books were written in the USSR they'd teach them as a devastating critique of Communism, but since they were about the dehumanizing forces of industrial capitalism, everyone's just like "it's about how life is absurd, no politics here!"

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@existentialcoms

4 years

For four years, the liberal media was absolutely obsessed with "never Trump" Republicans. They want "civility" and "decorum", and we were told they would all swing Democrat as long as we promise to ditch all meaningful popular leftist reforms. And it turns out they don't exist.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Get a job doing what you love and you'll have to work twice as hard for half as much money, because your boss will exploit your passion for profit, and drive you little by little to hate what you once loved.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Fascists are marching in the streets while our government is throwing minorities into camps and trying to deport millions in an attempt to keep a white majority in America. So no, I don't think punching a fascist in the face is the "real fascism". Fascism is the real fascism.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Becoming an adult is great because you can do whatever you want. Except get a good night's sleep. Or be happy.

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@existentialcoms

6 years

Life is: British novel: responsiblies. Russian novel: suffering. French novel: beauty. German novel: despair. Latin American novel: actually it was a ghost the whole time. plus time is going in reverse.

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@existentialcoms

6 years

Before making fun of John McCain, remember that he was a true American. He put his life on the line for an imperialist war, then came back and spent his entire career serving the interests of the rich.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

Capitalist dictionary: Freedom: serving the rich. Equality: everyone gets to serve the rich. Happiness: liking how you serve the rich. Failure: your life's work isn't useful to the rich.

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@existentialcoms

5 years

The Mueller Report amounting to nothing will hopefully finally put to rest the liberal fantasy that the way to stop the rising tide of fascism is to call the cops and get them arrested on a technicality.

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@existentialcoms

3 years

How anti-communist propaganda works: The Headline The Article

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@existentialcoms

6 years

These right wing "self help" gurus are pretty surreal. They are like: 1. Exercise regularly. 2. Focus on concrete goals. 3. Find supportive friends. 4. Women are serpentine creatures that undermine society and must be tamed by a dominant will. 5. Stay hydrated.

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@existentialcoms

4 years

Capitalists: "one time a hundred years ago, a million people died in a famine in the Soviet Union, so we can never try communism again." Also capitalists: "look, is a million deaths from COVID-19 really so bad? I mean, we can't exactly let the stock market go down any more."

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@existentialcoms

5 years

The hardest things to explain to aliens if their species doesn't have it: - music - sex - religion - war - comedy - why we constantly sabotage our own happiness because we are so afraid of failure that we would rather not even try to succeed.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

4 years

Socialists: "we want the full value of our labor." Capitalists: "lol there you go again wanting free stuff." Socialists: "we want to eliminate the class that earns money without labor." Capitalists: "lol you are just too lazy to work and want handouts." Socialists: …

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

4 years

News that will cause stocks to go up: - a minimum wage increase is struck down - employees are prevented from unionizing - corporate taxes are reduced - labor laws are relaxed The stock market is not the economy, it's an estimate of how much wealth can be extracted from workers.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

2 years

Don't worry, as I understand it we will soon have free speech and we'll all be able to unblack the words.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

4 years

Everyone is so obsessed with "the economy" that they don't realize that if production and consumption both drop together intentionally, it is fine. We don't need endlessly increasing production. Only the capitalists and banks need that. Humanity would be fine with 30% less GDP.

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Existential Comics (find me on bluesky)

@existentialcoms

5 years

lmao people saying stuff like "capitalism isn't perfect but it's the best system we've got" while we are literally in the middle of a man made extinction event.

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