If I woke up tomorrow and my boss told me that today at my job I had to shoot rubber bullets and throw tear gas at people protesting racism because one of my coworkers killed someone in cold blood, I would simply quit that job and do something useful like stock grocery shelves.
Why are ethics questions always like:
"is it ethical to steal bread to feed your starving family?"
And not:
"is it ethical to hoard bread when families are starving?"
Søren Kierkegaard claimed that if a person behaved perfectly rationally they would be so discordant with civil society that people would deem them mad.
A lot of people make fun of Elon Musk's tunnels, but I'm impressed by it. You could give me 1,000 years and I'd never come up with a solution to traffic as dumb as "a single lane tunnel for only one kind of car that you still have to drive in".
Truly beyond the scope of my mind.
Landlords do not "provide" housing.
Construction workers provide housing. Landlords, in fact, do the opposite of providing housing. They take the houses that were built for people to live in, hold them hostage for rent, and evict anyone who can't pay.
When rich CEOs brag about how many hours they work, remember that they have servants who clean their house, cook their meals, and do their shopping.
When you have to do these things for yourself, it doesn't count as "working", mysteriously.
People like Elon Musk think the left has become "radical" because people want to like...put pronouns in their bio.
He doesn't realize that actual radical leftists have always openly advocated to ████ █████ ██ people like him █████ ███ until the world is free.
Watching Elon Musk seamlessly moving from "the free market solves everything" to "trade unions sow social division among classes" and "we need a watchdog to discredit lying journalists" is like watching capitalism decay into fascism in real time on twitter.
It's unfair to call the Marvel movies "kid's movies", they also have serious political messages, such as:
- America is good
- the military is good
- military contractors are good
- billionaires are good
- heroes protect the existing power structure, villains try to change society
i hate to break it to J.R. Rowling but literally the first thing people would do if they had magic would be to get freaky with gender. like five seconds after discovering magic they'd be turning each other into hot girls and dudes with two dicks, etc, and so forth, et al.
Capitalism didn't give us the internet. Large-scale cooperation, open protocols, and free software gave us the internet. Capitalism gave us mobile sites that don't work because fifteen ads cover the screen.
So apparently I was gifted a verification?
So let me just say this, as an official, verified person: Elon Musk is a fucking Nazi. I mean this literally, he is an actual Nazi in every way and would have marched hand in hand with Hitler. He uses this platform for race politics.
Man, minimum wage discourse is wild. Conservatives just come out and say stuff like: "Learn economics. Capitalism requires a supply of millions of desperate exploitable workers living in poverty to reduce the price of commodities consumed by the wealthier class, which is good,"
"Hamas has hidden tunnels beneath hospitals in Gaza" is one of the more insane pieces of propaganda I've ever seen.
Are we all supposed to accept as a premise that Israel is justified in bombing hospitals that have tunnels below them? You can't bomb hospitals NO MATTER WHAT.
J.K. Rowling 1997: I hope my book brings happiness to children.
J.K. Rowling 2017: Harry Potter would support loosening regulations to allow capital to flow more freely across borders.
I would like to issue a formal apology to the X community for implying that the Telsa Autopilot™ feature could be engage safely around pedestrians. According to industry experts Telsa's Autopilot is dangerous and unreliable, and I will do better in the future to express this.
British literature: I will die for duty.
French literature: I will die for love.
German literature: I will die for greatness.
Russian literature: Yeah I'm the one that killed the other three guys.
Capitalism: good news! with technology we can produce more with half the work.
Workers: cool! so we only have to work half the hours?
Capital: …
Workers: we get paid double?
Capital: …
Workers: we retire sooner?
Capital: …
Workers: …
Capital: btw, we rolled back your pensions
Bill Gates made his money by extinguishing free software and forcing us to pay him a tax just to turn our computers on. This was only possible because the State was ready to violently enforce his "intellectual property".
He didn't created a computer revolution, he destroyed one.
Nietzsche: God is dead.
Everyone: wow cool.
Nietzsche: No, not cool you little shits. Now we have to be God ourselves. Can you replace God? No, because are all a bunch of idiots.
Everyone: oh shit.
Elon Musk is still so butthurt from the time I said he was like the villain from Altas Shrugged that he went back and replied to the thread 3 years later! It just goes to show, no matter how much you win at life, you can still be a loser in your heart. It's almost inspiring.
All of Israel's propaganda is more or less the same.
They claim Israel is doing ethnic cleansing in a civilized, enlightened, moral way.
They claim Palestinians are resisting ethnic cleansing in a barbaric, ignorant, evil way.
The absurdity of this doesn't seem to bother them.
Can't stop thinking about how we could have knocked out covid by simply paying everyone to chill at home for like 3 weeks right at the start.
Or at literally any other point.
Likely reasons you can't get a girlfriend:
- You are an asshole.
- You have poor hygiene habits.
- You are too scared to even ask girls out.
Unlikely reasons you can't get a girlfriend:
- postmodern neo-marxists have infiltrated the universities.
if the economy is crashing because people can't work, i don't understand why the entrepreneurs don't just create more wealth. i've been told for years that they are the wealth creators.
what is the matter? do they need the workers or something?
The funniest part of the "if we double the salary of fast food workers it will double the price of burgers" people is that they appear to believe that 100% of the dollars paid for food goes directly to the workers.
The funniest thing about Elon Musk in the last few years is finding out that he's just a stupid person. Like he's just dumb. He isn't even smart at one thing and dumb at others, he's just pure dumb.
Nerds all thought he was some kind of genius just because he was into nerd shit.
Capitalism began in England around the 16th century. They immediately went on to colonize half the planet in search of new markets, committed multiple genocides, traded slaves, and engaged in constant war.
In school we learn about how communism is evil because of a famine.
Landlords are like, "but how will I pay my mortgage if there is a rent freeze?"
Perhaps by doing work at a job. But thanks for the reminder that my labor not only pays for your living, it also pays for your ownership of the very building I'm renting.
British novel: let's go to a party and find a wife.
German novel: let's go to the wilderness and find ourselves.
Russian novel: let's go to the depths of despair and then find out there is an even deeper level of despair we didn't know about and go there.
Child: "Grandpa, what did you do during the rise of fascism?"
Grandpa: "I can proudly say that I bravely stood up to the people who were mean to the fascists, upholding the highest value: civility."
Child: "God damn Grandpa, you are a fucking idiot."
Capitalism is quite literally going to destroy the planet in order to make more money for the small percentage of people who own production, so no, I don't think it is "not perfect, but the best system we can have."
Socialism will never work, people are too selfish. That's why we have a system where you work your entire life to make your boss richer while you get the scraps. To accommodate your natural selfishness.
Joe Biden:
Do I work with racists? Absolutely.
Do I respect racists? Of course.
Do I like racists? Big time.
Do I admire racists? Heck yeah.
Do I pass racist legislation? All the time.
Am I a racist? First of all, how dare you...
Wealth of the top 100 Russian "oligarchs" combined: $567 billion.
Wealth of Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Bill Gates combined: $594 billion.
Lucky for us our billionaires are good guys though, right?
Starship Troopers discourse is funny because it reveals how Fascism is the only ideology so stupid it can't even recognize itself.
When Ayn Rand parodies socialists in Atlas Shrugged, you don't see socialists saying "no it was about something else." They just say she is wrong.
Israel's obvious lies aren't meant to convince people who don't want to kill Palestinian children, they are meant to placate the guilt of people who DO want to kill Palestinian children.
People are willing to accept any flimsy pretext to believe that they are not monsters.
Call for a ceasefire? They are bombing hospitals. We should be shooting down Israeli jets.
And by the way we absolutely would be if Palestinians had blonde hair.
Bill Gates, the supposed "good guy" billionaire not being sure if he would vote for Trump rather than have a 2% wealth tax or whatever is why billionaires cannot exist.
No one should control that much power. They will fight to maintain their power, against democracy, every time.
The greatest trick capitalist propaganda ever pulled was convincing people that "freedom" meant something like "being able to choose between 27 different flavors of ice cream", and not "having the material conditions of life allow for the pursuit of your own creative potential".
The amazing thing about these misogynist self help gurus like Andrew Tate, or even Jordan Peterson, is how obvious it is that they are deeply unhappy people.
It is a dead end ideology, even if you get everything you want you'll remain bitter, insecure, and hateful.
Congrats to Bolivia in returning to a government for the people.
Condolences to all the journalists working for billionaires in the USA who have to try to spin democracy as "authoritarianism" in the next few years.
Greatest moment of enlightenment for philosophers:
Aristotle: reads Plato
Descartes: reads Aristotle
Hume: reads Descartes
Kant: reads Hume
Hegel: reads Kant
Marx: reads Hegel
Foucault: takes acid in the desert and is like "whoa dude, what if…like…EVERYTHING is a prison??"
BEWARE: As Halloween gets closer, parents need to make sure to LOOK at your child’s candy. Some people are giving out what looks like normal candy, but turns out to be Karl Marx's classic critique of capitalism "Das Kaptial", in the original German.
I usually hate people posting screencaps of someone blocking them, but Elon Musk arguing with me that he succeeded *in spite* of billions in public funding, then calling me a chimp and blocking me is too good. BTW, SpaceX launched a government funded rocket *during* these tweets.
Under capitalism some of our smartest engineers go to school for years to study, then go to work trying to figure out more effective ways to get children addicted to gambling mechanics in game apps.
This is what economists call "the market self organizing to meet our needs".
Centrists are like: "extremism is dangerous on both sides, that's why I support the moderate, reasonable, non-extreme system where like 12 dudes own half the world."
So it turns out that the people who stock grocery stores, drive trucks, farm, and work in hospitals are actually the ones preventing civilization from collapsing.
Meanwhile the bankers, CEOs, and entrepreneurs can all stop what they are doing and no one even notices or cares.
Remember when the Panama Papers revealed that the ultra rich all had a secret tax-evasion island where they hid their assets, and nothing happened?
Well, you'd think the ultra rich having a secret rape island would be taken a little more seriously, but it's not looking good.
Capitalism is quite literally going to destroy the planet for profit and centrists will be on the survival raft saying "I'm not saying capitalism is perfect, but it's the best system we've got. See this supply and demand graph? This is why socialism doesn't work."
Tips for people new to cooking:
1. Use more garlic.
2. Every online recipe lies to you about how much garlic to use.
3. One clove? Are you fucking kidding me? I can't even taste it.
4. I want my whole mouth to taste like garlic for a week.
"Haven't you heard? Communism is awful, millions died."
"But haven't millions died under capitalism too?"
"Yes, but under capitalism poor people deserve to die."
The real torture wasn't that Sisyphus has to roll the rock up the hill for eternity, it was that Zeus kept telling him that if he worked hard and applied himself, one day he might be able to pay off his student loans.
If college is a job training program then your boss should be paying for it. The idea that we should go into personal debt in order to better serve the business owners is beyond absurd.
The absolute funniest part of capitalist ideology is that they someone managed to convince everyone that "freedom" meant like...the freedom to choose between 63 kinds of shampoo, and not like...the freedom to quit a job you hate without losing your health insurance.
This pandemic has shown clearly that Americans are the most brainwashed people on earth. Not only do half of us literally not believe in science, but now people think "freedom" is…intentionally not wearing a mask to help a disease spread faster? Valuing shopping over life? What?
The wealthy elite will fight tooth and nail against free college for two reasons:
1. it will be harder to fill the ranks of the military with poor people if college is free.
2. starting off workers with enormous debt is the greatest innovation that capitalism ever came up with.
Greek philosophy: how to live the good life.
German philosophy: how to know the world.
French philosophy: how to understand society.
American philosophy: how to justify neo-imperialist exploitation of the third world.
We have gulags, we just call it "prison labor".
We have secret police, we just call it "undercover cops".
We have brutal crackdowns on dissent, we just call it "riot control".
Everything they tell you to hate about other countries we have right here, right now. Fight it at home.
The funny thing about Kafka is if the same books were written in the USSR they'd teach them as a devastating critique of Communism, but since they were about the dehumanizing forces of industrial capitalism, everyone's just like "it's about how life is absurd, no politics here!"
For four years, the liberal media was absolutely obsessed with "never Trump" Republicans. They want "civility" and "decorum", and we were told they would all swing Democrat as long as we promise to ditch all meaningful popular leftist reforms.
And it turns out they don't exist.
Get a job doing what you love and you'll have to work twice as hard for half as much money, because your boss will exploit your passion for profit, and drive you little by little to hate what you once loved.
Fascists are marching in the streets while our government is throwing minorities into camps and trying to deport millions in an attempt to keep a white majority in America.
So no, I don't think punching a fascist in the face is the "real fascism". Fascism is the real fascism.
Life is:
British novel: responsiblies.
Russian novel: suffering.
French novel: beauty.
German novel: despair.
Latin American novel: actually it was a ghost the whole time. plus time is going in reverse.
Before making fun of John McCain, remember that he was a true American. He put his life on the line for an imperialist war, then came back and spent his entire career serving the interests of the rich.
Capitalist dictionary:
Freedom: serving the rich.
Equality: everyone gets to serve the rich.
Happiness: liking how you serve the rich.
Failure: your life's work isn't useful to the rich.
The Mueller Report amounting to nothing will hopefully finally put to rest the liberal fantasy that the way to stop the rising tide of fascism is to call the cops and get them arrested on a technicality.
These right wing "self help" gurus are pretty surreal. They are like:
1. Exercise regularly.
2. Focus on concrete goals.
3. Find supportive friends.
4. Women are serpentine creatures that undermine society and must be tamed by a dominant will.
5. Stay hydrated.
Capitalists: "one time a hundred years ago, a million people died in a famine in the Soviet Union, so we can never try communism again."
Also capitalists: "look, is a million deaths from COVID-19 really so bad? I mean, we can't exactly let the stock market go down any more."
The hardest things to explain to aliens if their species doesn't have it:
- music
- sex
- religion
- war
- comedy
- why we constantly sabotage our own happiness because we are so afraid of failure that we would rather not even try to succeed.
Socialists: "we want the full value of our labor."
Capitalists: "lol there you go again wanting free stuff."
Socialists: "we want to eliminate the class that earns money without labor."
Capitalists: "lol you are just too lazy to work and want handouts."
Socialists: …
News that will cause stocks to go up:
- a minimum wage increase is struck down
- employees are prevented from unionizing
- corporate taxes are reduced
- labor laws are relaxed
The stock market is not the economy, it's an estimate of how much wealth can be extracted from workers.
Everyone is so obsessed with "the economy" that they don't realize that if production and consumption both drop together intentionally, it is fine. We don't need endlessly increasing production.
Only the capitalists and banks need that. Humanity would be fine with 30% less GDP.
lmao people saying stuff like "capitalism isn't perfect but it's the best system we've got" while we are literally in the middle of a man made extinction event.