Evan Weaver @evan Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

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@lagosnoir

Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

People expect Twitter to revert to the fail whale days, but the problems then were scaling problems: challenging but benign with clear success conditions. Twitter isn't growing anymore and the problems now are all adversarial: spam, hackers, trolls, competition, regulatory.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@rk @bs and I chose the whale, which was some stock art somebody had left in the public www folder. Maybe @biz ? I have the original commit thanks to @greenberg . My memory is that @goldman told us to use the robot but we had already deployed it and just left it.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

I'm stepping back from my CTO role at Fauna:

Blog

Fauna combines the relational power, strong consistency, and schema capabilities of a relational database with the flexibility and scalability of documents, all delivered as a Cloud API with zero...

fauna.com

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@ArcticCircleSys @MattWeiner19 @annetdonahue I found it:

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@rk @bs @biz @greenberg @goldman Before I added the Apache timeout change and the whale, the site had no timeouts and your browser would just show a white page after 5 minutes of waiting.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

yolog4j

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

In my opinion the key to restarting growth is new product lines. Focus on efficiency in the old thing and invest speculatively in new, adjacent things. Meta did this well. For whatever reason Twitter never had the resolve to see things like Periscope and Vine through.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

1 year

@rbranson They have a vineyard financing business

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Everything in my life has broken transactional models right now. Booking appointments. Getting vaccines. Reserving Playstations. Except Fauna; Fauna is ok.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

11 months

RIP Larry the Bird. You deserved better

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Traitors and cowards. Our legislature, ladies and gentlemen.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

VOTE!!!!!

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

I know the team understands this. Unclear if the new management does.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

Sorry to former colleagues and everyone else affected by the Twitter layoffs today, as well as to those staying through the chaos. I hope Twitter can survive and improve in the end; the world still needs it.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

Idea: Steam Store Simulator, a game you buy on Steam that lets you pretend to buy real games and gaze on them in your pretend library but never pretend to play them

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@EFortney It is ok

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

Impeach him again

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@steveklabnik Orange County Abstract Machine Language

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

Godspeed @twitter , I hope something good comes from all this, somehow.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Zuck, in the metaverse, exhausted from hand-to-hand combat with a literal DNS demon, trying to bring Facebook back online.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

I voted!

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@matt_levine Given the timing, what if Elon bought the Bitcoin because he read the post about himself doing it?

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@matasar @hoverbird @goldman Maybe everybody else will log off and it will be just us again, like the old times. And @aplusk or whatever

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@goldman Nothing personal, @jeremy and I ignored everyone and we were right to do so.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@wickman @nk @marius @danluu It wasn't just making more optimal decisions, it was getting the resources to do anything at all

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

Honor, strength, and safety to the people of Ukraine, and to all working to end this senseless war.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

Absolutely unbearable in every way

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Rebuying the same model graphics card I sold 4 years ago for the same price I sold it for because the whole world has gone crazy.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@thinkingfish Thanks for everything Yao! What a great run.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@nk @wickman @marius @danluu Everything would have been straightforward in the past, if we knew exactly what the future would hold. Still don't need GFS though

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Evan Weaver

@evan

26 days

@natfriedman Test for PFAS too, especially in dairy products

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Congrats @vercel and @netlify on the huge funding rounds recently! Jamstack/graphql future is bright.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Great to be on the show!

/Fay-lee-nuh/

@Felienne

3 years

Just interviewed @evan about @fauna . We talked about the relational database model versus document stores, transactionality, "time travel" queries and more. Stay tuned for the @seradio episode in a few weeks!

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Will be fun to participate in the legal case about whether these are validly signed.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Am I ready for a blast-off into the Jamspace? Frankly, no. I don’t even have my Jamsuit.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Welcome JD!

Jean-Daniel Cryans

@jdcryans

3 years

So! Next week I'll join @fauna to lead the Database team. Fauna has great people ( @evan @mf @ericberg @TysonTrautmann @asz + so many more), great technology, and an amazing opportunity to redefine how DBs are used. Scared but excited :)

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

I remember when the Republicans claimed to be the party of personal responsibility. Very clear now that harsh accountability is for other people; delusional privilege is for us.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

Ideal Customer Profile Ideal Customer Posse Ideal Clown Posse Insane Clown Posse The truth is out there

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Evan Weaver

@evan

8 months

@martin_casado Singularity true believers and opportunists discovered they could get more attention by preaching doom instead of salvation; it’s motivated reasoning from beginning to end, just like ID

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

At the time I had two, manually binned, overclocked 980tis. I should have put them in a trust.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Gonna start signing stock certificates with cool nicknames to keep things fresh #foundertips

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Evan Weaver

@evan

10 months

Congrats to the team on launching new FQL, with simple, TypeScript-inspired syntax

Fauna

@fauna

10 months

🌍 Big news today! Meet the future with Fauna — we’re unveiling game-changing innovations to our distributed document-relational database! 🚀📊

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@mattswider Got it this time!

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

@TimHaines This corner has the best pizza, bagels, and donuts. It’s rational.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@jeremycole @hoverbird Narrator: they did indeed tolerate them

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

OH: "I'm going to start referring to Evan as the Kim Kardashian of databases"

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Evan Weaver

@evan

7 months

gg adam

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@mccv freedom code

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@jeremy @goldman It is very much possible to be malicious and incompetent at the same time

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@matasar Too bad for our future feudal overlords. I feel like there’s a “we live in a society” joke in here.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@jeremy @matasar @hoverbird @goldman @aplusk Age of Twaquarius begins

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@jeremycole @matasar It’s ok we can restore the data from memcache

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

@TimHaines @tenderlove They may, but it’s important to understand that trampoline ownership has ups and downs

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

@old_sound @steveklabnik Came here to make the same joke

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@rk @bs @biz @greenberg @goldman This was the first week I joined, after various delays and uncertainty as to whether the job was real. I'm sorry you didn't get the t-shirt @rk .

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@deliprao Well, are there? Maybe you don’t want to answer the question because you are the replica

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

A new life awaits you in the cloud world colonies!

Fauna

@fauna

3 years

Interested in working for Fauna? We're hiring for several roles across Marketing, Engineering, Product, and People. Check out our jobs page to learn more #TechJobs #Hiring #Serverless

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@TimHaines Imagine you gave your bitcoins names

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

@deliprao Unnatural and grotesque habit

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@copyconstruct Same thing at Twitter, on my teams and their descendants we skipped a lot of the micro stage and it usually paid off while other teams struggled with integration and operational overhead

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@matasar “Anything that upsets me is illegal”

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

@deliprao @Twitter I don't understand Twitter features that aren't bird puns

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@wickman I think most people rely on Medicare and just hope for the best

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@james_r_perkins @fauna @jamesqquick Just like the database?

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@rk @bs @biz @greenberg @goldman It doesn't matter because whale is eternal but we didn't have the whale until 2008. Prior to that, sometimes the computer maintenance kitten would make an appearance for "retroactively scheduled" downtime.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@matasar @goldman Asked my 3 year old cousin if he was a troublemaker. He sweetly replied "not yet..."

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@posco @sampullara @squarecog @vitalygordon I even went to GDC to drum up interest in this. Then we shut down the API.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

@matasar @avibryant @posco Not less than that many times

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@goldman Miss you Ian

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@goldman I could have written something that sent one tweet right the first time...let’s see NASA send a hundred million landers now.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

@matasar

mike ginn

@shutupmikeginn

11 years

My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

The data API for your client‑serverless applications: 5 questions to Evan Weaver, CTO of Fauna

Evan Weaver is the Chief Technology Officer and co-founder of Fauna. Founded in 2016, Fauna is a global database built for serverless applications.

www.linkedin.com

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Hey @hoverbird , what is the best game-making software for somebody who doesn't know how to code yet? My son is 8. Emphasis on making things and not learning best practices.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@lg I got vaccinated yesterday and also snagged an Xbox Series X last week and the vaccine booking process was far worse.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

I need a 1080p card for an “old parts” build with my son so here we are with the 980ti again.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@greenberg Jefferson Reusable Launch System

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@jeremycole Also, anything you can't fix yourself costs at least $1000.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@marius @wil He lives in my town; maybe I should worry about encountering him in the woods by our house

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@zer0trickpony Why didn’t you get the vaccine Rus

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@goldman Don’t give up on your dream, Jason

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@jeremycole @hoverbird Re: PLUR

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@tenderlove

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

Welcome to earth, Leonard

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

@avibryant Don't forget, Elon Musk is competing with you as well

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@gsands Do it

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

@TimHaines Don’t spring this kind of decision on me, Tim

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@rbranson No way, maybe somebody should blog about this

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@kamal The Tendieman Cometh

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

Congrats @daniel_abadi ! It was predestined.

UMIACS

@umiacs

3 years

Congratulations to @daniel_abadi (left) and Bonnie Dorr (right) on being named @TheOfficialACM Fellows for 2020. #UMDinspires

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@wickman It should be a Tupac ice sculpture

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Evan Weaver

@evan

7 months

@triketora Fiduciary duty doesn’t mandate that you have to take the nominally lucrative short term option. Especially when the option will damage the company and other stakeholders. And especially when the option says it will fight! They could have negotiated a break-up fee and carried on.

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@matasar This means they can be hacked and steal from you too

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@mattswider More statistics, I did not get either edition of PS5 but I got a Series X which is what I really wanted anyway

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

@goldman Fool-proof plan to stop the coup: 1. Record various GOP leaders off the record saying they don't believe this crap 2. Release the recordings 3. Say sorry

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@hoverbird @matasar we’ll go around the circle now, please introduce yourself and explain how you got owned

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Evan Weaver

@evan

4 years

@lg @kamal If anyone is going to make this real it is you

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Evan Weaver

@evan

2 years

@asz Sorry Attila 😔

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Evan Weaver

@evan

3 years

@dhruv_gupta @mrhali @fauna Facebook is so over now

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