David M Barnett @davidmbarnett Twitter profile

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David M Barnett

2 months

WITHERED HILL COVER REVEAL!!! Pre-orders for my #folkhorror novel are now open! Available from Canelo on September 26 in paperback and ebook. Fabulous cover design by Sarah Whittaker. Pre-order links:

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Last Seen Profiles

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

Can someone explain to me in simple terms why the government cannot turn to the energy companies and say, “Actually, no, you’re not raising fucking prices by this much. Let your shareholders take the hit until things level out?”

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

Scarborough Council has cancelled its NYE fireworks because there’s a walrus having a kip on the front, which is possibly the finest story to end 2022 we could ask for.

Flippin ‘eck: Walrus draws crowds to Scarborough on New Year’s Eve

Council postpones fireworks display while local wildlife experts urge public not to disturb Arctic mammal ‘taking a break’

www.theguardian.com

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

Julia Hartley-Brewer, Andrew Tate, Piers Morgan and Jeremy Clarkson confirmed for new ITV series Hate Island, in which a group of celebs are dropped off on a remote island to spew bile -- the twist being there are no cameras and nobody goes back to pick them up.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

I covered a skull in Tunnock’s Teacake wrappers and, quite frankly, give me the Turner Prize now.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

14 days

Wow, the Northern Lights were amazing last night, so glad I didn’t fall asleep on the sofa and miss it all!

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 months

Another blatant attempted alien abduction in English football and once again nothing in the mainstream media.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

Have we found out yet which Cabinet member’s cousin runs a Scotch Egg factory?

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

5 years

What’s the worst typo in an email you spotted immediately after hitting send? I think mine has to be: “I appreciate that you’re very busty.”

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

11 months

I sent this pitch to my agent to wind her up but now I kind of want to write it.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

I love how Kate looked like the lead character in a Netflix rom-com about a princess in a fictional European principality, made by Americans.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

I couldn’t disagree more with the idea that keeping books is a middle class thing. I hoard books because as a kid they were precious things, to be treasured (especially new books and not second hand!) and I probably never got out of that mindset.

Reading is precious – which is why I’ve been giving away my books | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

I’m donating my books to people who can most benefit from them. Why keep a novel that could delight someone else?

www.theguardian.com

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

@LeeAndersonMP_ Really hope someone offers Katy a better job on the back of this tweet.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

Yeah, like this isn’t a trap.

BBC News (World)

@BBCWorld

3 years

Dracula's castle in Romania offers tourists Covid vaccine

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

6 years

Man posts list of Star Wars films in the order they were released. The replies are gold.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

6 months

What Christmas present did you ache for but never got? This was mine.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

28 days

This grant is for writers over 50. Look at the image.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

8 years

How To Talk To A Woman When She's Wearing A Caterpillar P-5000 Powered Work Loader

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

Mainly looking at 70s and 80s kids here, but did you have an unreasonable but very real fear of quicksand as a child? If you’ve any great stories about that my DMs open. If you ever fell in quicksand, even better.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

Fen diagram

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

I wish all these people who yell at the likes of Brian Cox and Marcus Rashford to stay out of politics and stick to their day jobs had said the same to telly presenter Donald Trump and newspaper columnist Boris Johnson.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

Howl’s Moving Townhouse.

helen warlow

@HWarlow

3 years

A copy of a two storey Victorian house. Fabulous

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

“Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies — God damn it, you've got to be kind.” — Kurt Vonnegut

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

Really hoping we get Lockdown 4 so I can start going for a daily run on day one like I promised myself I would in the previous three.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

David Walliams' new book The Cunty Old Pensioner and the Girl You Don't Want To Fuck sounds like a winner for Christmas.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

6 years

For any writer or creative type worried that it’s not happened for them yet, take heart: my pro career started quite late. First book deal aged 43 First writing for national press aged 45 First commercial fiction deal aged 46 First film deal aged 47 First comic published aged 48

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

5 years

When The Simpsons started I was nine years older than Bart. Now I’m nine years older than Homer. I suppose the next milestone is Grampa Simpson.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

@elonmusk @ElGrecoSF I'm not sure what time it is where you are, but do you think you should maybe step away from Twitter for a bit? Is there anyone with you that you can talk to? This doesn't feel like normal behaviour for a grown-up with your power and influence. Just concerned.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

If you're wondering how much we like queuing, my nan once saw a queue in Wigan and got in it with no clue what it was for. Half an hour later she walked away with Emlyn Hughes's autograph on a piece of paper, having no idea who he was.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

He’s going to go full Caligula and make a horse Home Secretary or something, isn’t he?

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

Amid all the kerfuffle about Roald Dahl, spare a thought for science fiction Grandmaster Jack Vance, whose 1969 novel had to be retitled to "The Wannek" (and all mentions of the titular alien race in four books) after the original title made British readers spit their tea out.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

Going on holiday in Britain is not a “staycation”. Ask the people who’ve never been able to afford a foreign holiday but have quite enjoyed a week away at the seaside. It’s just a sodding holiday. Just because you can’t ponce about in Rimini doesn’t mean you’re not on your hols.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

6 years

If you’re a writer and someone says to you “Oh, I’d write a novel if only I had the time...” don’t just roll your eyes and post snark on Twitter. Time to write is an under-acknowledged privilege that a lot of us take for granted.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

8 years

Who let George RR Martin write 2016?

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

If somebody in Scarbs isn’t working on a picture book called Don’t Wake the Walrus right now then they’re missing a trick.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

Did your parents monitor/police your reading? And if so, at what age did it stop? I certainly didn’t get any input from when I started choosing/buying my own books, maybe age 10 or 11, and I can’t remember ever being told “not that” when I wanted a book from a shop or library.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

2044: the daughter of Jack Monroe and Marcus Rashford becomes Britain’s youngest Prime Minister.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

It’s a very narrow demographic, but one of my favourites: those people who had this Lord of the Rings poster and later lost their shit when they realised the artist was the same Jimmy Cauty from the KLF.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

Went to see Top Gun last night and among the many and varied thrilling and satisfying moments, I was particularly pleased to see both Maverick and Iceman using full stops in their text messages to each other.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

5 years

How to write a novel: Select several letters from the alphabet. Arrange into a word. Repeat the process 100,000 times.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

Yeah, this is how it starts, with the lols and cuteness. Then we’re living in caves eating owls and hiding from the machines.

The Independent

@Independent

2 years

Robot vacuum cleaner escapes for an entire day from Travelodge in Cambridge

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

Apologies for the question mark being in the wrong place in this tweet.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

Does anyone else thing of Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday as “even” days and Monday, Wednesday and Friday as “odd” days, and Sunday kind of out there on its own?

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

Stop worrying — or even thinking — about getting your novel published until you’ve finished your novel. This is my one and only piece of writing advice.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

Spielberg really missed a trick not writing "fin" before the end credits started in Jaws.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

Hands up if you were either terrified or fascinated by this picture when you were a kid.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

The only generational culture war that exists is between those who can’t look at the BT Tower without imagining a giant cat on top of it, and those who have no idea what that means.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

@SoVeryBritish People who don't queue directly behind you but stand slightly to one side of you.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

Five years ago, I was unaware that people were drawing up plans to make me redundant after a 26-year career in local newspapers. Now my current list of employers includes the Guardian, Independent, BBC, DC Comics, and Orion Books. In other words, things can turn out OK.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

Son’s latest art project is inspired by @neilhimself ’s Coraline and it’s quite freaking me out to be honest.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

5 years

@GailSimone Her dying words? “The baby’s hungry.” #SixWordHorror

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

Publishers should insist that for every celebrity who gets interviewed on prime-time TV because they've written a novel or children's book, a mid-list author from the same publisher gets a one-minute slot straight afterwards.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

@elonmusk @ElGrecoSF Muting this now as I have work to do and can't spend the day in astonishment at men who leap to the defence of a billionaire who wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire. But have fun!

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

6 years

The Brexit rant by @MrDDyer goes remarkably well with this classic page from Batman: Year One

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

Top Gaiman film/TV mums

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

I just wrote Primark Scream in a message if anyone’s looking for a tribute band name.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

He might have abdicated the thrown, but how long did he rain?

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

@RiRoRo17 People aren’t going to die if they can’t afford to buy my book.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

What a time to be alive

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

5 years

As Sandman, written by @neilhimself , gets greenlit for a @Netflix series, I look at the phenomenon of the comic

How Neil Gaiman's 'The Sandman' made comics cool again

A Netflix adaptation of the 1980s graphic novel – which united hardcore geeks and first-timers alike – is on the cards after several false starts. A dream come true, says David Barnett, but it won’t...

www.independent.co.uk

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

7 months

Look at these two little kids in 2009, aged six and four. All dressed up for Halloween, excited that their dad had promised them an early evening out at a spooky, fun event. They would not be smiling just a very short time later. 1/9

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

America won't stand for the termination of babies until they’re out of the womb and in the classroom.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

Sad day. Glass ramekins from several years’ worth of shop-bought puddings have finally gone in the recycling after as much as zero use.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

The post-Coronavirus world will be populated by freelancers who never go out anywhere anyway.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

7 years

Bernie Wrightson was proper comics royalty

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

My obituary of Alan Grant for the Guardian

Alan Grant obituary

British comic book writer responsible for shaping storylines for characters such as Judge Dredd, Batman and Strontium Dog

www.theguardian.com

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

By me for the Observer today

Steer clear of ‘mediocre writing’ by celebrities for Christmas, authors plead

Books by TV personalities and other high-profile figures will top bestseller lists, but critics say professionals lose out

www.theguardian.com

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

Britain *looks at America*: Yay! Britain *looks at Britain*: Oh, fuck.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

@IanMcKellen Is it secret? Is it safe?

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

Absolute top-drawer overlaying caption work on @theJeremyVine show just now.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

Not a bestselling author yet and no longer a bright, young thing? In todays @ObserverUK I’m writing about why the value of being an older writer is finally being recognised and celebrated

Never too late: over-50s urged to write fiction with prize for debut novel

Award launched at London book fair aims to help older authors take the plunge and submit a first work

www.theguardian.com

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

10 months

For the @ObserverUK today I wrote about @zoethorogood ahead of next week’s #EisnerAwards at #SDCC , with input from @kierongillen , @tulalotay and @chris_ryall

‘The real deal’: young UK graphic artist nominated for five ‘comic book Oscars’

Unflinchingly depicting her battles with depression, Zoe Thorogood, a 24-year-old from Bradford, has scooped most nominations for this week’s Eisner Awards

www.theguardian.com

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

@DamianClough2 Yeah, didn’t realise the saucy bastard had been having a quick one off the flipper earlier.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

5 years

After devouring @terryandrob and @neilhimself 's Good Omens TV adaptation, my son is now watching 1976's The Omen and finding it absolutely hilarious.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

6 years

So maybe when someone says “I’d write a novel if only I had the time”, don’t sneer about there being so much more to it than that, about the elusive, magical, creative spark. Because time is probably the greatest thing in the writer’s toolbox, and shouldn’t be underestimated.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

Great. Now Narnia is going to get Covid.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

@SoVeryBritish “Don’t forget, the bins go out on Thursday.”

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

OK, here’s a mildly amusing story that might also lead comics Twitter to find someone for me so I can issue an apology some 37 years in coming. A thread. Obviously.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

So if Trump loses it means one of two things: 1. There is no God. 2. There is a God who hates Trump.

Right Wing Watch

@RightWingWatch

4 years

Presidential spiritual adviser Paula White is currently leading an impassioned prayer service in an effort to secure Trump's reelection.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 months

Writers, don’t fall into the trap of feeling bad because of all the news of big deals coming out of London Book Fair. It’s just that these people are better looking and more talented than you.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

5 years

Well, this is nice. New edition of THE OCEAN AT THE END OF THE LANE by @neilhimself , with phenomenally evocative illustrations by @elise_hurst_art

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

If Natalie Portman had dated Jacques Cousteau the tabloids could have called them Portmanteau.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

6 years

Good morning! I wrote about Norse mythology, and @Joannechocolat and @neilhimself helped me:

Why Norse mythology is enjoying an unlikely renaissance in popular culture

The myths are brutal tales of survival and war set against a cold, dark backdrop often stained with blood. So why are we so rapt by their retellings? David Barnett finds out

www.independent.co.uk

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

My piece on the passing of Rachel Pollack, with thanks to @neilhimself , @RozKaveney and @morganmpage for their input.

Rachel Pollack, trans activist and comic book writer, dies aged 77

Pollack, who created the first mainstream transgender superhero, Kate Godwin, had been fighting Hodgkin’s lymphoma

www.theguardian.com

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

@fenlandgent I feel like this is a trap to get someone to say, "needs a kitten".

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

9 months

Anyone remember watching V, 40 years ago? When the initially-benign aliens came to Earth, they subtly turned the population against science and scientists. And everyone fell for it.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

5 years

If there's not a Joy Division tribute act somewhere in Newcastle called Geordie Vision then I don't know what's wrong with the world.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

5 years

A few years ago I asked my local newsagent why he put the copies of New Musical Express slightly nearer to the till than the issues of The People’s Friend. He told me, “Keep your Friends close, but your NMEs closer."

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

6 years

Oh, hello, little new thing by @neilhimself and @chrisriddell50

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

4 years

Got my @PLR_UK statement. 3,758 loans over the year. That’s 10 people borrowing my books from libraries every single day. Thank you to PLR, borrowers, and most of all to libraries. I love libraries and hate the systematic dismantling by underfunding of this invaluable resource.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

Poppy and Maurice: a love story in three frames

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

@AndyBurnhamGM Not causing all the problems would be a good start.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

Well, Mr @richardosman has achieved the unique immortality of having a Mega-City One tower block named after him in the forthcoming @2000AD prog 2280 (New CHOPPER story by me, art @NickRoche , colours John Charles, letters Simon Bowland). ON SALE MAY 4th

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

3 years

“Bob? You didn’t send off that trophy for Most Batshit Tweet of 2020 yet did you? Well, get on to fucking Hermes and get it back, quick!”

Sir David Amess MP

@amessd_southend

3 years

Whilst Margaret didn’t live long enough to see this day, I am sure that she is rejoicing in heaven. At last we ‘got Brexit done’!

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

28 days

@Gerard1976uk My mum is 78 and doesn’t look like that.

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

They want you to think it’s worthless so they can sell it off

Public satisfaction with NHS sinks to lowest level since 1997

Just 36% of people content with the health service, survey finds

www.theguardian.com

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

2 years

@PhilipPullman * I didn't care how many people enjoyed it, fiction in the present tense was an ABDICATION OF NARRATIVE RESPONSIBILITY. I resented having to re-calibrate my entire attitude to time whenever I opened a novel in the present tense. Away with them!

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David M Barnett

@davidmbarnett

1 year

According to Facebook Memories (which are a godsend, because I can’t remember what I had for my tea two days ago) it’s 10 years today since I first met @neilhimself for an interview for the Independent on Sunday.