crisp mattman @cushbomb Twitter profile

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

5 months

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Last Seen Profiles

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

The American version of finding a Roman bath while digging up a Tesco car park.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

Ayn Rand is useful because she’s one of the few thinkers who is the completely wrong. You don’t have to spend time separating wheat from chaff. Just go in thinking “the opposite of this is correct” and you can gain some real insights.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

FACT: Bears are Guys.

Matthew A. Cherry

@MatthewACherry

2 years

This video is sending me 😂😂😂😂😂

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

7 years

This is the stupidest day in American history, a record that will be broken by every subsequent day in American history.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

Before you get offended by someone giving human beverages to bears, please consider that bears, in point of fact, are actually guys.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

10 months

Holocaust denial makes no sense. If you hate Jews and the Holocaust didn’t happen, what’s to like about Hitler? The way he got Germany completely leveled and occupied by foreign armies?

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

I could never vote for someone who was endorsed by someone who was endorsed by Joe Rogan.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

10 months

This alien shit is the most “pics or didn’t happen” deal in history.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

banned from Letterboxd for pointing out that any minimally competent municipal government would immediately have Clifford destroyed.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

9 months

Cannabis nickname popularity over time: 📈📈📈 Weed Loud Gas 📉📉📉 Marijuana Pot Reefer

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

1 year

This doesn't need to be said but I gotta say it anyway. The gap between the promise and delivery of the Vegas Hyperloop is beyond parody. How do you look at that and think "yep, future achieved." At least the Springfield monorail was an actual monorail.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

6 months

TED TALK: “I had a stroke, I experienced ego death and collective consciousness. I realized we are one with the universe.” ME: “I experienced that Dracula was cool.”

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

He did it. The bastard went and did it. He jacked ossoff. He jacked us all off.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

The world has never been stupider.

David, but casually

@ExodiacKiller

2 years

as seen at the Wisconsin mustard museum

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

Drugs are already losing their effect. He's gonna be back in the fridge by the end of the week.

TheBlaze

@theblaze

2 years

Joe Biden tells bizarre story: "There's a place where I was the only white guy that worked as a lifeguard down in that area, on the East side. And you know, you could always tell where the best basketball in the state is."

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

Hunter Biden looks like Jordan Peterson on an all-pussy diet.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

If Ossoff wins, he might be the Democratic nominee in 2024. If Ossoff loses, he definitely will be.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

What is best in life? To tuck a salmon golf shirt into dockers, carry an AR-15 like Elmer Fudd, and threaten to murder people to defend my Cheesecake Factory-ass house.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

Capitalism: an algorithm designed to produce, at the cost of all human and natural dignity, the perfect crispy chicken sandwich.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

Going to a Swede’s house, ordering a Pizza Hut Big Dinner Box delivered, then eating it in front of him while he tries to avoid eye contact.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

They gave anxiety to an m & m.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

Love is the only real thing in the universe. This is very annoying because while it’s true, it’s also terminally cringe.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

My politics are simple: I want my adulthood to be how I imagined adulthood would be like when I was a kid, a thing no one in history has ever experienced.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

Climb to the top of the heap in the cutthroat world of Japanese politics only to have to resign from office due to chronic mudbutt then get smoked by some dude with a science fair volcano. What a life.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

Pence has blown his chance at the 2024 GOP nomination but he's now the Democratic frontrunner.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

Lotta people who think they care about politics actually just like being on the computer.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 months

Tired: micro plastics Wired: MACROplastics

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

9 months

Boomers are ordering suicides-by-cop to their houses like DoorDash.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

7 months

It’s post maxi. If grossing in hhyswixw

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

When the governor closes Fuddrucker’s.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

She knows what she's doing.

Amy Klobuchar

@amyklobuchar

4 years

Behind the scenes of my speech from last night: when a convention is virtual, who needs shoes?

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

Under President Trump, the cruelty is the point. Under President Biden, the cruelty will be an unfortunate side-effect.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

Damn, that was fast!

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

Sons Debate. 90 minutes. Mandatory coke bumps. One question: Whose Dad Loves Them More?

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

imagining MAGA protestors breaking into a Cheesecake Factory and running it as a worker's co-operative.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

Hard mode for this excludes any shot with the person holding a gun or a cigarette.

Luke Hearfield 🔜 Cannes 🎥

@LukeHearfield

2 years

If “cool” could be summarised in one movie shot what would it be?

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

All of the surviving former American presidents MUST appear on television together and suck and fuck each other. Just absolutely go to town on each other’s mouths and asses.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

1 year

If you're ever in a group that's divvying up tasks and "holding down the fort" is an option, take it. Forts mostly hold themselves down. Easy gig.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

They just gave this person a Pulitzer. Everything owns so much all the time.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

1 year

Germans are a lot like the Na’avi in that there are different types for different environments. Swamp (Dutch), Forest (Bavarian), and Mountain (Austrian).

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

GOVERNMENT BY GOFUNDME BABY ITS HERE AND ITS BEAUTIFUL!

Joe Biden

@JoeBiden

3 years

Here's the deal: Because President Trump refuses to concede and is delaying the transition, we have to fund it ourselves and need your help. If you're able, chip in to help fund the Biden-Harris transition.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

Lol stupidest thing ever stupidest shit dumbest fucking thing Jesus Christ fucking hell

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

Remembering when Beto O’Rourke said Medicare for All is too divisive then proposed confiscating every gun in America and melting them down to builds mosques with.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

11 months

Movies had a good run. Hopefully Tik Toks of people giving themselves paranoid schizophrenia has a similarly good run.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

It does rule that Hillary spent her term as Secretary of State jingling keys in Biden’s face to keep him distracted during meetings and now gets to watch him get sworn in as President. Truly history’s biggest loser.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

lol Guiliani is on Fox News coughing his ass off this is like the first act of The Stand.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

Never ceases to amaze me that the United States of America, the planetary snackhole, has the least advanced potato chip flavor technology in the developed world.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

Trump holding a bottle of ketchup over a Chicago hot dog in front of a hooting crowd of downstate Illinoisans. “Should I do it, folks? I shouldn’t do it. But I might…”

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

Biden making insulin more expensive may seem like monstrous cruelty and bad politics besides, but many white supremacists are diabetic and this will help hold them accountable.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

7 months

Tactical Jerry Orbach

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

Word?

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

The Yellow M & M was arrested during a routine traffic stop with an assault rifle, homemade armor and two thousand rounds of ammunition after posting a manifesto on a popular web forum.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

How you not make Paul Giamatti Mario? How do you fuck that up?

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

It's hard to make the 'harm reduction' case for Biden when all of his ads and tweets explicitly say 'Donald Trump isn't doing enough harm to other countries, vote for me to do more harm. I fucking love harm so goddamn much."

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

Dude clearly knows what he’s doing. Let a professional do his job, please.

❒

@RlCKYRAGE

3 years

the way his ass is not listening 😭

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

9 months

Given the amount of corn subsidies in this country, soda and breakfast cereal should be free at the point of service.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

He DOES NOT KNOW HES DEAD in this moment.

jason concepcion

@netw3rk

3 years

The greatest “I’m dead and I know it moment in cinema history?

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

Dudely Guyness on full display

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

Insane thing I 100% believe: if you say you want to stream a movie in front of your phone or computer that film is instantly removed from any free streaming services so you have to pay for it.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand there it is.

Geoff Bennett

@GeoffRBennett

4 years

NEW: 'We need to live with it': White House readies new message for the nation on coronavirus

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

The SNL cast doing the hug-and-wave with masks on after doing the entire 90 minute show with no masks is some fake ass shit.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

5 months

Please cease with “farmer’s Almanack” implied shamanic power. All they know has tractor. UPS, cash subsidy checks, eat hot jerky, and lie.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

3 years

Obama’s solicitor general is in front of the Supreme Court right now defending the right of corporations to profit from slave labor.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

7 years

Weird how a brain trust of fat cokeheads with advanced dementia would overplay their hands this badly.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

2 years

Did Plato ever explain what the cloaked dudes deal is? Seems pretty boring, just hanging around holding a staff in a cave all day.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

SONS DEBATE! DEBATE OF THE SONS! IT HAS BEEN FORETOLD! IT MUST COME TO PASS! IT IS DESTINY! SONS DEBATE!

New York Post

@nypost

4 years

Trump Jr. wants to debate Hunter Biden on who's benefited more from their dads

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

1 year

“Was fun while it lasted?” You spent the entire time whining about being cyber-throttled!

Catturd ™

@catturd2

1 year

@elonmusk @lindayacc Elon Musk … the woke mind virus is a threat to the world. Also Elon Musk … I just hired a far left loon deeply infected with the woke mind virus to run Twitter. Twitter 2.0 was fun while it lasted - get ready for it to suck again.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

The Ices Cube and T are achieving posting powers beyond the reach of mortal man!

Ice Cube

@icecube

4 years

Another Bunker Bitch

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

Mandatory rehab centers. With guards and bars to make sure people don’t leave before their period of mandotory rehabilitation is up.

The Daily Show

@TheDailyShow

4 years

“Nobody should be going to jail for the use of drugs. They should be going to mandatory rehabilitation. We should be building rehab centers, not more prisons.” @JoeBiden

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

5 months

Huge shout out that saved my life(?!?) @anbercrollo I love you.

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crisp mattman

@cushbomb

4 years

It’s September 2020. Hundreds of thousands are dead. Unemployment nears 50%. The American people are furious. At each other. For their decisions on whether to go to Red Lobster in June.

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