covered in peace & love, y’all @bmoredownbeats Twitter profile

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covered in peace & love, y’all

6 months

I’m running for office. I don’t know which one. But please donate to my campaign. I’ll be spending it on Botox, OnlyFans, and Birkin bags in the spirit of full transparency.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

4 years

@LargesseMorlu @MorganJerkins This is why everything deserves to be burned down.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

@LisaMcCray “Only one grownup transaction can get you a baby.” Ain’t that the truth.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Hi. If you’re in Baltimore and reading this, you should go outside. Right now.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Good morning to literally everyone in Baltimore City who does not throw trash out their car windows.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Look, this is going to be a hyper-local tweet, but White Marsh is physically and and emotionally exhausting.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

On a more positive and hyper-local note, Lake Montebello (which was already great and a big jewel in Northeast Baltimore’s crown) is 100% sexier now that it’s officially permanently car-free.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

7 months

Since Morgan’s homecoming is cancelled & classes are cancelled for the rest of the week, I hope students are able to go home or someplace else the feel supported and safe to process what happened. Wondering aloud if there’s anything neighbors of the campus in NE Baltimore can do.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Literally look up Reagan’s response to the AIDS epidemic, remind yourself “moderate” Larry Hogan voted dead Reagan for President in 2020, and connect the fucking dots. I hate it here.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Today’s cicada update is that a lady got on Nextdoor asking what the alarm was going off in Northeast Baltimore and her neighbors had to inform her that those were, in fact, the dulcet tones of cicada love.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

I really hope Lake Montebello never reopens to vehicular traffic. I’ve probably tweeted something similar to this before, but I’ll say it again and again.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

@BmoreBaker42 @SkatingTomato @jemillerwbal @MayorBMScott If by interesting you mean white supremacist, then yes... it’s a very interesting choice of words.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Baltimore. It’s Spring without humidity or pollen rn. Please go outside and enjoy it while it lasts!

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Today’s cicada update is a quote from my 9-year-old. “These bugs were born with wings, but they are VERY BAD at flying. Design flaw.”

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

In a bit of professional news, I just wanted to announce that I will not be leaving my current employment to go work at the @BaltimoreBanner

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Baltimore: where stop lights and speed limits are suggestions heeded by no one.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Really beautiful night to be outside in Baltimore.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

5 months

At a wine bar in Western PA. Dude I Married™️ and me are reviewing our menus. Man with mediocre hair implants and microbladed eyebrows volunteers, unsolicited: Might I recommend the crabcakes? Me: We’re from Maryland. You may not.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

7 months

Not Leana Wen on the radio telling everybody she’s currently drinking parasitic tap water and you should, too.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

My unsolicited life advice today is to get you someone who loves you the way you love* Taharka Bros. Honey Graham ice cream. *If you don’t love Taharka Bros. Honey Graham ice cream with every fiber of your being and then some, you should. Get your life together.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

@jabberudah @LisaMcCray Maybe I’ve been cooped up too long, but… I’m not mad about this.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Parenthood is having the house to yourself at 5:30 pm, making some dinosaur chicken nuggets and pouring a glass of that questionable rosé in the fridge, and calling it happy hour.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Remember that time they tore down the Bel-Loc Diner to erect a failed St*rbucks?

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

If Baltimore summer felt like this everyday, I might actually like it.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

1 year

At this point, if someone is offering you a position at the top of an arts org and you’re Black, brown, queer, and/or a woman… I would vet that institution to within an inch of its life because it’s probably a trap.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Speaking of chaos, someone at WYPR booked Andy Harris on Midday to talk about his thoughts on critical race theory, and this has got to be one of the most violent choices someone at that station has ever made.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

10 months

This is going to be a very hyper-local Baltimore tweet, but FWIW I saw him out in these streets with someone that wasn’t her months ago.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

This is a #Baltimore #PSA : go TF outside and walk around right TF now. Do not delay. Conditions are perfect at this very moment.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

I know I’m probably the only one, but I really miss Light City.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

After two nights in DC, I truly don’t understand how Baltimore got the rat reputation. These vermin down here are joining me on my commute and walking home alongside me.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

There’s this long-held/wrongly-held (oftentimes unspoken) belief that Black people don’t enjoy or appreciate recreation in green spaces, so seeing Lake Montebello filled to the brim with Black people meditating, running, walking, cycling, and practicing yoga today brings me joy.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Tree down on eastbound Northern Parkway just before Sinai Hospital and a Good Samaritan who just so happened to have a chainsaw in the bed of his truck (?!) is clearing it away. Baltimore, man… she’ll surprise you sometimes.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

1 year

Did I read that right? The City Council President is introducing actual legislation to honor his spouse who was voted out of political office in the face of scandal? Have we really reached full blown simulation status? We’re no longer real.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

9 months

Sharing the concept of Baltimore with a group of people who have barely ever heard of it. None of them asked me about The Wire (victory!!) but I did play them the “Aaron earned an iron urn” video to help explain the accent.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Voice student quote of the day: “Some boys are obnoxious and the other ones are just mediocre.” She’s 10. I think this kid is going to be alright.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

The price of high speed internet in a city like Baltimore that is under near monopoly control by XFinity feels criminal and predatory.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Fuck (and I cannot stress this next part enough) this pandemic.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Hi! I went to the grocery store and remembered my reusable bags. Please clap.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

4 years

@BradleyWhitford @WhiteHouse They’re counting on many of us being too scared to vote this November. It’s clearly a large part of the (grasping at straws) game plan.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

7 months

I know the official Baltimore Twitter Stance™️ is “We don’t care about these two,” but these MFers are seriously trolling us all.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

We arrived in Iceland. First thing Dude I Married™️ did was find a group of older Black ladies from Maryland vacationing here and charm their socks off. Dude’s a magnet.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Vaxxed and still masked because y’all can’t be trusted.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

@thebrokenplate @LisaMcCray Every time I see one of these, I’m like “🤨 maybe I should download that app” and then I remember that some of you angels put the truly best content on Twitter for those of us that are Tok-less.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

11 years ago, I made some promises and threw a party and promoted this guy from dude to the Dude I Married.™️

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

6 months

I can’t help but wonder aloud what it would look like if Lake Montebello was in Harbor East and the inability to travel completely around it inconvenienced that population. Would the powers that be so casual in repairing the sinkhole?

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

The Dude I Married™️ just sent this to me and whoever’s responsible is getting sent straight to their room for the night with no dinner.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

@MindyWbal @Reporterroblang @wbaltv11

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

It’s a great morning to run 10 miles at once.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Just wondering if the MVA has updated the driver’s exam to reflect that red lights are merely a suggestion for a brief pause now if you’re operating a motor vehicle in Baltimore City.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

I sincerely regret to inform you that it is only Wednesday. I’m really sorry.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Good morning and happy “curbside recycling pickup resumes in Baltimore tomorrow!” I’ll be here celebrating all week.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

6 months

Baltimore, go look at the moon rn.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

What if we stopped trying to avoid paying what we’re assessed in taxes and just started demanding the services we’re entitled from them?

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

7 months

Y’all gird your loins and maybe stay off Nextdoor for the next 48 hours as we prepare for all the angry internet screeds from ladies named Susan & Carol that are pissed at the once annual personal inconvenience Baltimore Running Festival is to them.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

The utter shock one gets from nice, nOt RaCiSt folk when you inform them that their anti-city sentiments they’re so quick to throw out are rooted in anti-Blackness. The shock is because they know you’re not wrong and there’s no good retort.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

7 months

How much money did it cost Baltimore City to ring my phone at 3 pm on a Saturday to tell me it’s windy outside?

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

5 months

This better not be a f*cking trick. I swear by all things sacred.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Found a new (to me) Salt Box in our neighborhood on my morning constitutional.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

6 months

Hey @BaltimoreDPW — I’m terminally online, so I learned about your plea for residents to take your survey and check their own pipes for lead lay night, but the Dude I Married™️ is not and had no clue what I was talking about. How do you intend to inform residents about this?

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

1 year

Every time someone asks me how the commute from Baltimore to DC is, I respond: “Oppressive, but not as oppressive as the cost of living in DC.”

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

I’m really tired of seeing politicians at all levels, local to national, just shrug their shoulders and say “I’m on your side, voter, but nothing’s going to change.” If you’ve reached an impasse to progress, don’t run for re-election.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

My toddler fell asleep clutching cheese danish in one angry little fist and blueberry muffin in the other angry little fist and honestly if that’s not your life’s goal, maybe it should be.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Just found a snake ON THE PASSENGER SEAT OF MY CAR after driving around for 3.5 hours so apparently I’m never leaving my house again.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

6 months

Any single one of the systemic failures from Baltimore DPW that have reared their ugly head THIS CALENDAR YEAR could be named as my villain origin story. And my taxes are too damned high for y’all to not come out to my house and check my pipes your damned self.

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@bmoredownbeats

2 years

@dirtworshiper74 @emilyopilo Someone’s deceased grandparent probably.

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@bmoredownbeats

1 year

The only reason I’m still on this hellscape website is the Baltimore peeps.

🍅Marilyn Tomato, JD, PhD

@mddirtlaw

1 year

Baltimore area twitter is the best. That’s the tweet.

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@bmoredownbeats

10 months

My 12-year-old neighbor has an actual garage band rehearsing in his actual garage right now and it is the most adorably wholesome thing happening in Baltimore right now.

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@bmoredownbeats

7 months

Only thing worse than Baltimore drivers is Baltimore drivers driving in the rain.

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@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Marilyn Mosby saying the trial should take place “before my election “ (her words) tells you everything you need to know about how politics work in this town. It is actually the primary election that she sees simply as a formality before coasting into another term.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Dude I Married™️ brought home two pints of @TaharkaBros Honey Graham Ice Cream because he knows what’s up. “One for mom, and one for everyone else.” Happy spouse = happy house.

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

YOU GUYS! Just got my mother a vaccine appointment for tomorrow. I am crying literal tears of joy and breathing huge sighs of relief. Thank you all for your links, tips, tricks, DMs, texts, retweets. It shouldn’t be this hard, but we have to navigate the system we find ourself in

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Hamilton Tavern reopens tomorrow. This is not a drill. Get that burger in my belly right now.

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Just a perennial reminder that Lake Montebello isn’t your dog park. No matter how “good” or “well trained” or whatever you think your pooch is, it is LITERALLY ILLEGAL to have your dog off leash. You people are giving responsible humans with dogs a bad rap.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

1 year

Happy Monday to everyone that knows BMI is a garbage metric.

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@bmoredownbeats

4 years

@notcapnamerica Twitter please do your thing and out this MFer to his work and church and Boy Scout den mother so we can move on with our lives.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

4 months

Can someone please pay Thiru to go away and never come back.

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@bmoredownbeats

4 years

@BradleyWhitford I’d rather just search @BradleyWhitford GIFs and pick my favorites of which I’m sure there are dozens.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Will someone tell B*b Ch*rry that I just managed to run 5 miles around northeast Baltimore by myself before and after sunset without packing heat and I was perfectly safe? The scariest thing I came across was a dead deer on the side of Belair Road.

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@bmoredownbeats

2 years

My polling place was legitimately lit. Buzzing with voters… cheers for every single submitted ballot. We love to see it.

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Temporarily suspending my complaining about how cold I am after realizing that’s why I haven’t seen any cicadas yet.

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

People who talk on speakerphone in public make me think we should stay in quarantine forever.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Motion to only reopen the Harford Road bridge to pedestrian, bicycle, and transit traffic please.

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@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Here’s an idea, and it’s not even mine, but it’s a good one: increase the tax base by requiring every single person who receives a paycheck from this city to live in this city. Full stop. No exceptions.

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covered in peace & love, y’all

@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Does anyone know who is currently running the country? No shade. Real question.

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@bmoredownbeats

2 years

@Lindsbinds621 I would like to buy you a beverage— what’s your Venmo?

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@bmoredownbeats

2 years

If Betty White couldn’t bring herself to face 2022, I think that speaks volumes. May she rest on.

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Please start with I-83.

Bread Fixer 🐵🍌🚁🖍

@bread_fixer

3 years

*nodding*

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@bmoredownbeats

6 years

OPRAH GOT OUT OF GILEAD! #HandmaidsTale

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@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Just saw a bumper sticker that read “Ivermectin Saves Lives” on the back of an SUV in Perry Hall and… what a bizarre way to advertise that opinion.

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@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Upgraded this guy from random dude to Dude I Married™️ 12 years ago today. I might clown him a lot on this website, but he’s pretty great. If you see me #onhere offering him up to the highest bidder, I probably don’t mean it.

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@bmoredownbeats

1 year

Take your campaign trash down. I don’t care if you won or lost. It’s December. Half these contests were decided in the primary. I’m tired of looking at your names plastered everywhere still.

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Y’all paying all this money to put your kids in summer camp. My 9-year-old was so bored yesterday she cleaned out the fridge. I’m going to save a metric ton of money this summer and maybe have a clean house by Fall.

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

There’s all of this talk about vaccine hesitancy, but can we talk about the apathy that eventually sets in with lack of access? The two most important adults to me in this life have both been eligible to receive the vaccine for over a month. 1/

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@bmoredownbeats

2 years

Does anyone still work at The Sun or have they all officially moved to The Banner now?

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Can someone please write a children’s book about that time the goats came to Wyman Park Dell to turn everybody’s covidtime frowns upside down for a fleeting moment?

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

Can I tell you how heated I am that they tried to push post-op narcotics on me? Contrary to what the officers tried to teach you at D.A.R.E., weed is not the gateway drug… percocet-pushing oral surgeons are the gateway drug.

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

The bonnet is making a public appearance today, but before y’all judge me just know that a cicada flew straight into my hair last night and tried to knit its wings into my locs and I am emotionally incapable of going through that same scenario again today.

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@bmoredownbeats

2 years

I have many questions about this listing in my neighborhood, but the primary one is what exactly was renovated in 2010?

2406 Mayfield Ave, Baltimore, MD 21213 | Zillow

2406 Mayfield Ave, Baltimore MD, is a Single Family home that contains 2939 sq ft and was built in 1936.It contains 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms.This home last sold for $350,000 in October 2022. The...

www.zillow.com

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

@oureric Can’t wait! Big things ahead.

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@bmoredownbeats

3 years

How do we get the @MarylandZebras to Baltimore? If they only saw how much we appreciated the goats, maybe they’d make the trip up here to turn our Charm City frowns upside down.

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