United Airlines North America - Parody @UnitedAirlines_ Twitter profile

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

WE HAVE ARRIVED

Southwest Airlines

@SouthwestAir

4 years

@UnitedAirlines_ Says the fake airline Twitter account.

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Last Seen Profiles

@sharkydaemoness

@RiverCentre

@BobSappAim0304

@BornEvilXIII

@ovbm_art

@IJackson22

@thefepodcast

@TsuviCoiltail

@afa_cwa

@stw_pdg

@raniahana___

@uruha_ichinose

@skuterfx

@uususport

@what_cimmy_said

@sissymichi1975

@Chrisl7000

@secrethazem

@AntiBullyingPro

@vrcsports

@BritGeoSurvey

@EsquireEs

@takoko_942

@Kimaye_INI

@balcom_shannon

@SpeakerShinjini

@espbeee

@uma_musu

@JimmieClarkPxP

@27xCHANYEOL

@sportricolore

@thefelicityhunt

@DuaneEddy

@stw_pdg

@Hey_RufTuf

@bloodyemaria

United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Hey buddy, we’re gonna start charging you rent + utilities.

The Points Guy

@thepointsguy

4 years

Booking my best award ticket ever — 31 hours in business and first class for 112,800 miles

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

@SouthwestAir Says the airline with 17 total destinations.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

You think this is bad, wait until you get married.

Ross

@rossanderson95

3 years

Just a horrific experience flying @UnitedAirlines_ today. Delayed flights, no golf clubs at final destination. My wedding weekend is officially off to the worst start possible. Thanks

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

2 years

We place crews that misbehave in time-out so they can calm down. In this case, a stewardess hit a passenger with a plastic spoon.

Paul Orzulak

@orzulak

2 years

@UnitedAirlines_ a five-hour delay to Orlando last Friday and a six-hour delay to DC today, both because you had crews “time out?” Other airlines don’t have these problems. You’ve got to be better than this. When did your proud brand become so synonymous with incompetence?

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

@RepThomasMassie Just so we’re clear, you think every federal regulation requires a vote by Congress?

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Attention @SouthwestAir Pilots: We encourage you to apply for a job at United so that we can also fire you.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

This is how we get rid of our low IQ employees.

Alexis McAdams

@AlexisMcAdamsTV

3 years

United Airlines fires hundreds of unvaccinated employees. The airline said it has begun terminating up to 593 employees who failed to comply with the company vaccine mandate. At least 7 staffers already filing lawsuits in response. @ABC7Chicago #UnitedAirlines @UnitedAirlines_

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

No need to share this photo; we can see you in our bathroom cameras.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Because of Covid, we have cut down on routine engine maintenance. We apologize for the inconvenience. #united

michaela🦋

@michaelagiulia

3 years

Flight 328 @united engine caught fire. my parents are on this flight 🙃🙃 everyone’s okay though!

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

OUR PLEDGE: We will not duct tape you.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Cate, you left your OnlyFans account open on this iPad!!

cate mulligan ☮️

@CatesMonterey

3 years

@UnitedAirlines_ I left my iPad on flight UA1185 seat 51L …Can you help me retrieve it?

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

In-Flight Combat Training will begin for Global Services passengers in July and for 1K passengers in August.

Gizmodo

@Gizmodo

3 years

TSA Asks Travelers to Stop Attacking Officers, Restarts In-Flight Combat Training

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

How about a four dollar credit at Dave & Buster’s?

Kra$H.

@AmazinDouglas

4 years

@unitedairlines_ we really should get some type of refund or something for the inconvenience.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Wait until we tell you what kind of fluid 😱😱

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Our baggage handlers love you too Elina.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Carey, you’re aware that @AlaskaAir uses squirrel meat in their salads, right?

Carey Powers

@itsmrspowers2U

3 years

@UnitedAirlines_ @Delta @AmericanAir FYI here is what real food looks like. You can tell because it’s green, crunchy and delicious. It is not beige, mushy and processed nor wrapped in plastic @AlaskaAir you are a shining star. Thank you for amazing customer service and real food

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

We apologize for losing your child Steven. We will put her on a connecting flight tomorrow. Please check the United app for updates.

Steven Schuld

@Schuld

4 years

Can I just say that once again @UnitedAirlines_ is the worst airline in the USA. Nope, make that the globe. #travelnightmare #policyproblems #falsehoods

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

$UAL stock gonna plunge tomorrow.

JB I

@JakeBI6

3 years

@zerohedge I am officially moving my business off of @Delta & @UnitedAirlines_ and onto @AmericanAir just based on this stance! BTW - prior to #covid I did 75-100k miles on each airline annually.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Southwest pulls that crap all the time. You’re welcome, Melissa.

Melissa Alexander, SIOR

@mbalexan

3 years

Never been happier to be on a plane. Thank you @UnitedAirlines_ Lindsey in customer service for your assistance getting me on a standby flight when my @SouthwestAir flight and hundreds of others were suddenly canceled and lines for miles. Can’t wait to see my kids.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

It’s probably booked. Just show up the day of your flight and you should be fine.

TheJoe69

@Joe69The

3 years

Hey @UnitedAirlines_ how much longer to confirm my reservation? it was supposedly to be fixed in 24 hours. You don't even have chat anymore and you force customers to call and it takes easily more than an hour to get someone on the phone. Really bad experience

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

But good for preventing dead people.

Kelly Townsend

@AZKellyT

3 years

Federal mandates are bad for the bottom line. @UnitedAirlines_ @Delta @SouthwestAir

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

@BlueWisco @CNN @Delta @AmericanAir But the wrong thing feels so good.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Refund? We’re charging you extra for more time in the cabin. Enjoy!

Saira Marlene

@Saira__Marlene

3 years

WTF now @UnitedAirlines_ can’t get the cabin door to open. Are you fucken kidding me. Now I just want a full refund!!!

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

@unhealthytruth The Republican talk radio hosts who died of Covid got an early start on this boycott.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

7 years

Attention United customers: Our inflight wifi will take your credit card, but it will not work. This is exactly as designed. Suckers.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

@gssahni @united Gurvinder, we know the tag wasn’t a mistake. You want a boring, generic response from Corporate? Or some sweet spice from the Parody account? Pretty easy decision.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

6 months

We're back, bitches! Hang on, turbulence ahead!!

The pidgeon driving the fella bus

@PidgeonBus

11 months

@UnitedAirlines_ Pretty bummed this account is no longer active. I’ve been on hold for 4 HOURS trying to get my stranded daughter home and could use a little humor at @United ’s expense.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Sammi, our trash customer support team can’t take you seriously in that outfit.

Sammi Ezrilov

@SammiEzrilov

4 years

What’s really disappointing is when you compare a trash customer support org like @UnitedAirlines_ with a company like @Delta that actually cares about their travelers

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Have you tried their Twitter account?

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

We’ve deducted 25,000 miles from your account for bad language, barbs.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

2 years

Sadly, Z has succumbed to irritable bowel syndrome. May he rest in peace.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

UNITED ANNOUNCEMENT: This is true and this is why we issued our vaccine mandate.

The Herman Cain Awards

@HermanCainAward

3 years

According to this @BreitbartNews Op-Ed, liberals are pushing the vaccine aggressively because if liberals are for it, #MAGA will be against it, and #MAGA will die, therefore handing liberals more elections.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

No extra charge for the spinal adjustments.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

It’s not because they’re unvaccinated, it’s because the anti-vaxxer IQ’s are too low to employ.

USA Trump Man 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

@USATRUMPMAN1

3 years

United Airlines declared it will not hire unvaccinated workers.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

What is creamed in small place...??

James Krenn

@jkHSV

4 years

Chicago: Flights severely delayed, weather and broken planes... several gates creamed in small place, gates changing, not a gate agent to be seen, fly the friendly skies @UnitedAirlines_

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

@CBSNews We are requesting that unvaccinated applicants apply to @SpiritAirlines instead. Thank you.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

5 years

UNITED AIRLINES PARODY ACCOUNT STRIKES AGAIN

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

More female pilots of color in this GIF than in the entire Southwest fleet.

Southwest Airlines

@SouthwestAir

3 years

Certified Livery Boy. #CLB

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Touching down ‘there’ at your vacation destination.

Delta

@Delta

3 years

Name a better feeling than touching down at your vacation destination. We'll wait.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Nathan, nobody wants to be in Tulsa in the morning.

Nathan Thompson

@NathanDThompson

4 years

@Amanda_Clinton @Delta . @UnitedAirlines_ used to have a daily non-stop flight to and from Newark. It was awesome. You could be in Tulsa in the morning and Manhattan at 10 am. If only they would bring that flight back!

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

It’s Maylani who requested it.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Not true. We have the worst gate agents at LAX.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Bravo @AlaskaAir

The New York Times

@nytimes

3 years

Alaska State Senator Lora Reinbold said she had to travel by road and ferry — a trip that takes more than 19 hours — to get to the capital, Juneau, after she was barred from flying by Alaska Airlines for refusing to comply with its mask rules.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

5 years

@kikifl18 @united Next time please run faster. Thank you for your business.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Your chance of winning? Slim to none.

Sammi Ezrilov

@SammiEzrilov

4 years

Surprise surprise. Officially in a fight with @UnitedAirlines_

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Joe, this is too much information in one tweet. Could you please break this into a series of 7 tweets and resend for our customer support team.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Yes but we do not charge extra for a middle.

Kathleen Harold

@kdunnachie

4 years

@nerdseyeview @UnitedAirlines_ AND charges you extra if you want an aisle or window seat.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

U JUST GOT BUSTED BY THE UNITED PARODY ACCOUNT

Here for the free 🍻 ®️

@RDstud16

3 years

@UnitedAirlines_ @RepThomasMassie Sorry United, I'm sure you are a lower level media relations employee who's guessing how this works. Surely you can forward this to your legal affairs team?

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

We need more Christines in this world.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Please enjoy the mold in your seat back pocket.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

He’s about the same age as our regional air pilots.

Lisa Brence

@theLovelyLisaB

4 years

#CooperBK ’s first flight is in the books! ☺️ He refused to take a nap and touched EVERYTHING. Thank god for @PURELL wipes. ✈️✈️✈️

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

2 years

This did not age well. #Omicron

gary leff

@garyleff

2 years

US shpuld eliminate negative test for emtry by air for those who get boosted. Not only is their risk low (and those that have recently recovered from Covid are exempt already) but the public health benefit of encouraging boosters would *far* outweigh any risk.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

The Delta CEO also asks permission to go to the bathroom.

TMZ

@TMZ

4 years

Delta CEO Says Passengers Should Ask Permission to Recline Seat

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

OH SNAP SOUTHWEST GOT HACKED

The New York Times

@nytimes

3 years

Southwest Airlines flights within the U.S. were temporarily suspended on Tuesday because of "technology issues," according to the FAA — the second major disruption to the company’s operations in less than 24 hours.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Platinum? Ha!! We barely get out of bed in the morning for a 1K.

Jon Porter

@MMPWlaw

3 years

@UnitedAirlines_ you just lost a platinum customer. I’m enraged!

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

We have terminated their 1k status.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Yes, the manspread is always nice.

Korey Pereira, MPSE

@SoularitySound

4 years

Rough start to the travel day, but this is nice:

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

We’re super flexible with the whole name and ID thing, so anything close should be fine.

• H a n n a h •

@Hannahh_Beth

3 years

@UnitedAirlines_ help ya girl out @KaciCawlfield

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

@AZKellyT @Delta @SouthwestAir But good for preventing dead people.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

She was very clear when she spoke with our 1k call center.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Nek, you gotta upgrade your shoes man. All white with scuff marks? You’re lucky we let you in Basic Economy.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

5 years

@justeenadams19 @united Have an espresso at 5:45 AM and another at 2:30 PM. #yourewelcome

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Can you please fax your proof of purchase to Delta, and the TSA will assist you shortly. Thank you.

Mukesh Patil

@MukeshPatilInfo

3 years

@bbb_us , I had booked @UnitedAirlines_ flight through Agent @Hop2_Travel . Bcoz of travel restrictions I had to cancelled my flight and I was told that I will get full refund in case of cancel. Now, @UnitedAirlines_ has processed my refund but @Hop2_Travel not give in back to me.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Please put the Cabernet down Rachel and return to your seat.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

@BazziHelena We found them, they are in Houston, please fly out there to pick them up.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

We apologize for the inconvenience. Yes this is our official Vomit Policy.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

2 months

Wheels falling off wasn't a huge deal - everyone lived. Landing gear collapsing - again, we're good on the no fatalities thing Scott. The gorilla complaint we've escalated to Customer Service, and should have feedback for you in the next 4-7 weeks. Thank you for flying United

Scott Dow

@fuzzypuppy4u

2 months

@UnitedAirlines_ is quite literally the worst airline on earth. Wheels falling off, landing gear collapsing, using gorillas as baggage handlers - you have to be insane to ever fly with these creeps.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

The Virgin Islands. Wait, is that creepy or spooky?

Delta

@Delta

3 years

Tell us where you're going next, but make it spooky. We'll go first: Boo York 👻

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Dump your drink on him, we give you three free drink coupons.

Ronnie (he/him) Streff lovin MX!

@RonnieInMexico

4 years

I think I have a Trump supporter who doesn’t want to wear a mask on my @UnitedAirlines_ flight from Houston to PVR.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

TSA report said there wasn’t much there.

D

@okayshakespeare

3 years

security was touching my balls more than my last shawty what’s up wit dat @UnitedAirlines_

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

9 years

You think we're slow? How quickly did we remove that Jeff Smisek pre-flight video?!!!

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

@donnahansen @oranfinegan @ShualaMartin No

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

5 years

@SGPlunkett @mikeofjesus @united We haven’t been wrong since we left Benji in the cargo hold for a wee bit too long.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

5 years

@noplasticshower @united To clarify, we’ve designed our WiFi to always work during the time that we collect your payment info. After that, it’s a total crapshoot.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

@dangitlauren @SouthwestAir No Lauren, you delete this.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

9 years

@DanielPink Thank you for your message. The answer is both. Or maybe the latter. Oh crap our system just crashed. Please hold.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Damn right we are Edward.

Edward Wilson

@Edward_R_Wilson

4 years

@UnitedAirlines_ Thank you. You are the best. The best. The best airline in the entire whole wide world.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

We’ve been calling you to try to resolve the issue but it keeps going to voicemail...

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

5 years

For safety reasons, we are now salting floors of our #UnitedAirlines cabins to help melt the ice.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

OFFICIAL UNITED PARODY ACCOUNT STRIKES AGAIN

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

@GayUncleJesse @Delta JESSE DONT LEAVE US!!!!!!

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

@Limeylizzie @Delta @AmericanAir @JetBlue @SouthwestAir Don’t want the jab, go take a cab.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

8 years

IMPORTANT: when we say our planes have wifi, we mean we have the little wifi stickers on the outside of the plane. Actual wifi not available

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

@coachparsley1 @CVGairport Was Jessica really that rude Drew, or were you having a bad day?

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

@LouCap @BlueWisco @CNN @Delta @AmericanAir Lou, why you gotta get all up in our grill like this?

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

@bradenjones47 You keep up this complaining and we’ll make you sit for another 90 minutes.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

9 years

Yes, our United In-flight Internet is not working today. But our planes still land, people. Our planes still land!!!!

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

Shrinkage?

Shriya Nevatia

@shriyanevatia

3 years

Seinfeld theory of startups: If there's a Seinfeld episode about a life inconvenience/inefficiency, it's both universal enough and frustrating enough that it should be solved with a startup

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

Would you like some wine with your whine?

Abhi Tulapurkar

@AbhiTula

4 years

No drinks in first class prior to take off on a long haul @UnitedAirlines_ evening flight (UA518 Feb 11). Doesn’t feel like @UnitedAirlines_ even wants to compete with better airlines like @Delta . My money will go to @Delta

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

4 years

We have upgraded your seat selection to 57J, Todd.

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United Airlines North America - Parody

@UnitedAirlines_

3 years

*NEWSFLASH* United Airlines is pleased to announce our new 737 seating configuration. Enjoy seven seats across with one isle on the left side. 1K members get priority access to the outer two seats. @Reuters @AP