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@UnbotheredMike

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Wholesome. laughs & lies #GirlDad 1/2 of @BlanimePodcast

Dallas, TX
Joined May 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@UnbotheredMike
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@UnbotheredMike
10 months
Me if Jhene Aiko comes and starts singing to me
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@UnbotheredMike
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@UnbotheredMike
4 months
I know her backshot air smell like you walking past an Auntie Anneโ€™s in the mall
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4 months
Keri Hilson records herself going for a walk around the arena
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@UnbotheredMike
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7 months
Nah heโ€™s insane for this lmaooo
@tryna_be_famous
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7 months
How Neyo move his arms that fast in the Knock You Down video???
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Tory son seeing the verdict knowing he dont have to go to court no more
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1 year
Top 5 worst movies of all time
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9 months
That first taste of twang when she come home from a 12 hour shift >>>>
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@UnbotheredMike
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6 years
Gone but not forgotten
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โ€œMy nigga is that the new Fashion Nova tech fleece with the matching sweats?โ€ Me:
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โ€œThrow me in the ocean with my ancestors that jumped off the slave ships because they knew death was better than bondage...โ€
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Bro AP really told Sean Payton โ€œWe Assโ€. I am DEAD ๐Ÿ’€
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6 years
The Joker escaping Arkham for the 7429th time walking past Batman.
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1 year
Oh well!
@Bforbree
๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธShiesty
@Bforbree
1 year
I donโ€™t like niggas that jack off idk I think thatโ€™s gay . ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿซฃ๐Ÿคฎ
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2 years
Being in the passenger seat while your shorty is trying to parallel park <<<
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@DaddyEllee
Big Ellie
@DaddyEllee
5 months
Gamma Mu? One word. BITCHES
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9 months
SKEEYEE
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11 months
Fellas, whats the easiest way a shorty has bagged you? This is a safe space.
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Salute to all the Veterans! ๐Ÿซก๐Ÿซก๐Ÿซก
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1 year
Me after a successful girls night
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@falsepritense
homiesexual.
@falsepritense
1 year
If you bringing your man to girls night? Can we fuck him?
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2 years
Women that call you โ€œsirโ€ >>>>
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2 years
Saweetie, goodness gracious
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4 months
Me one and a half strokes in
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20 days
Winning the clap off vs your girl <><><><><<>>><<>
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6 years
@nazzszndemon
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8 years
Yall on Gabby and Kaepernick but isn't this yalls mans ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”
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11 months
I wouldโ€™ve destroyed the leaf as soon as I found out my daddy was hokage and yall had me sleeping with roaches
@DaddyEllee
Big Ellie
@DaddyEllee
11 months
After Jiraiya died, Naruto shouldโ€™ve became the biggest villain ever. I know I wouldโ€™ve. The Left wouldnโ€™t have had to worry about Sasuke cause I wouldโ€™ve wiped them off the map
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1 year
As soon as that feather swipe across my bootyhole
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@iamnot_p
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11 months
@VirgoThanos Nigga knowingly joined the roster I wanna shame him but ive been there smh
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@UnbotheredMike
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7 months
A pay raise would help my mental health
@freauxmama
BBL Drizzy
@freauxmama
7 months
Would yโ€™all take a pay cut for your mental health?
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7 years
The most accurate shit I've seen on twitter to date.
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6 years
Pouring her natural hair products down the drain because she laughed at another man's jokes.
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7 years
Yall remember this scene on Stomp the Yard?
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2 years
Yall think She Hulk squirt got gamma radiation in it?
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7 years
When you piss your girl off and she show up with her two brothers
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@UnbotheredMike
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9 months
Yall are judging me a lil but too harshly for this
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1 year
First day as a passenger Prince and now you stuck at sephora, ulta, and Target for 8 hours
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7 years
Issa fucking Daniel Molly fucking he friends husband Lawrence fucking depressed The whole episode needs to be in rice. #InsecureHBO
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4 months
They doing this over the stepped on Chicken Sandwich??? They would short circuit if they had the 2020 one
@EclecticMujer
Gullah Geechee Goddessโ™‹๏ธ
@EclecticMujer
4 months
This is so funny. What are they feeding yโ€™all over there in Britain?
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@scubasteve1428 Steven
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7 years
VA Cops: โ€œDamn that sure do look like Lucky Whitehead shoplifting.โ€
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@NurseCo___
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6 years
Fellas we pulling up to her job and bringing her lunch in our grey sweats wholesomely all 2018.
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6 years
If XXXtemptation got killed in Florida but Zimmerman still walking around safe, the whole state is PUSSY.
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1 year
CC: @GENE_ius
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4 months
First night at her crib and she give me spaghetti
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7 years
@MissAmerykah_ me after i write that email to Human Resources
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7 years
Josh Norman says Dez Bryant, NFC East receivers are just guys; 'I'm not enhancing my craft' against them." INTERESTING. ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”
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5 months
@_RobJay That shit was peak comedy
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7 years
Finest Women by State: 1. Texas 2. California 3. Georgia 4. DMV 5. Florida
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7 years
When yโ€™all arguing and you call her ugly and she says she not as ugly as your hairline.
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6 years
Dawg I am crine. Who made yall like this?
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10 months
Phi Birria Sigma
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6 years
Women under 5'5 getting ready for a date with someone they not gonna return texts to afterwards:
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6 years
Your WCW cant compose a thirsty tweet without misspelling โ€œthroneโ€. Her baby daddy saw this tweet and rolled his eye. She 29.
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7 years
"fLiy eEguHLz fLiy" "wE dEm MaNzz" "wInTs wAGgUn" "rInGz ARunT eVreeTiNG" "dAKk oVErrRaTIt" "3-o ChAMpsss" "iF wE Had DAllUs O-lInee"
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6 years
I really waited 7 months for these niggas to look like this...
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2 years
Id rather you pull up to the date in crocs than wedges
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6 years
"As long as we keep the ball in Dak's hands"
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6 years
Tristan Thompson averaging more women than points per game right now.
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@UnbotheredMike
6 years
Me: โ€œYall let zimmerman live and let X get killedโ€ Yall: โ€œYou kill him then sugeโ€ Hov: โ€œYall let zimmerman live and let X get killedโ€ Yall: โ€๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ฒ oh shit! Tell em Hov! โ€œ Me:
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6 years
Walking into your girls house and her son is looking at you
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28 days
What Tyler gotta do with this
@WholesomeSensai
Call me Sin
@WholesomeSensai
28 days
Only The Creator and OJ gone know where he is right now
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6 months
Happy Shanksgiving
@Phil_Lewis_
philip lewis
@Phil_Lewis_
6 months
TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) โ€” Ex-police officer Derek Chauvin, convicted of killing George Floyd, has been stabbed in federal prison, AP source says.
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7 years
@BlazeTheGreat_
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10 months
Tip definitely gonna be WET
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1 year
Crying watching the end of Wakanda Forever all over again
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9 months
Now lets have a real discussion
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6 years
Anyone else find the word โ€œconsentโ€ ironic in this article?
@OnionSports
Onion Sports Network
@OnionSports
6 years
Roethlisberger Upset Steelers Didn't Ask For His Consent Before Drafting Quarterback
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@sailorg00n_ Yo relax im plotting on one soon smh
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2 years
Me when Meg and She Hulk wrestle
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8 years
@Guru_Jeremy if we let you slide on this then you can let these girls slide with the natural hair
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@sailorg00n_ You:
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7 months
Pineapple Pizza is delicious and none of yall can beat my ass.
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7 years
This shit foul
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1 year
Whats the most unhinged meme in your phone?
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7 years
"I got warrants, 4 kids, i'm 6'6, no car, and i stay with my baby mama" Females: "you're 6'6?"
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6 years
We got cotton candy and popcorn and shit down here mayne. We all float down in this muthafucka mayne.
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6 years
Laughing at her jokes before you beat vs after you beat.
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7 years
When you at your white friendโ€™s house and they hand you a glass of โ€œsweet teaโ€.
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7 years
RT @KitchenHo3 : i would rather be with a abusive man than a cheating one
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6 years
"I'm never wearing Nike again"
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1 year
@Muva_Godiva Me trying to contain the gay
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7 months
Discovered your what bro???
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@TheDuragGeneral
The Durag of Liberation
@TheDuragGeneral
7 months
Yโ€™all been talking about it being harder to bounce back from liquor the older you get and Iโ€™m here finally discovering my Grown Man throat. I be drinking room temperature Hennessy with no reactions. Iโ€™ve finally arrived.
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10 months
If im not ERUPTING in 8 minutes please unmouth me
@theprettydai
Sweet Jones Jr .
@theprettydai
10 months
Yโ€™all be suckin wee wee for 60 full minutes ?!!! OK SUPA HEAD
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Your girl when you having too much fun on the TL
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11 months
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7 years
When that Q-Tip hit that perfect spot next to your brain.
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7 years
When she starts having baby fever >>>>
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10 months
@TennesseeHoney_ I hope your fantasy team go 0-17
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2 years
Top 10 Cheating Women 1. Short Women 2. RN and CNA 3 . Big Titty women 4. Check Engine Light is on 5. Anime women 6. Nissan Altima 7. Light skinned 8. Amazon Leggings 9. Wears Glasses 10. Breathes Air
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6 years
Me submitting trade offers to 1st time fantasy players
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6 years
S/O to everyone who knows pineapple belongs on pizza. I love you.
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2 years
โ€œYou aight?โ€ Knowing sheโ€™s furious >>>>
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1 year
Why did yall make this go viral smh
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11 months
@BlackSupremeKai Itโ€™s getting crazy ๐Ÿ˜‚
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11 months
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@theprettydai
Sweet Jones Jr .
@theprettydai
11 months
How yโ€™all know Cardi cheated
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@UnbotheredMike
6 years
How ridiculously horny you gotta be to tell a girl "king Arthur couldnt remove my tongue from your ass". In broad daylight
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