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Tim Oldland Profile
Tim Oldland

@Tim_Oldland

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Owner of @BespokeChargers . Design engineer specialising the field of EV infrastructure and also write about cars. “Pompous windbag”

Brentwood, Essex, UK
Joined February 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
People seem to think I’m only pro-EV, this is absolutely not the case. The future will need a multi-fuel approach to succeed: Daily personal transport and ‘last mile deliveries - BEV Commercial LGV/HGV/Agri - Hydrogen Classics/supercars/sports cars - synthetic fuels 👍
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
<RANT INCOMING> Right, this is the perfect example of everything that is wrong with car design at the moment. It takes a second or less to pull the charge flap open after you’ve pressed it in (which you still have to do here), and again to close. This is absolutely fucking
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 years
FINALLY the Thor Vs Care Bears crossover has started shooting.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
Oh BMW you’re spoiling us now. The Touring Coupe Concept. Please just make this. We beg of you. Make up for the XM.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
21 days
Driving this morning, came up behind a cyclist, riding perfectly well. It was barely wider than a single lane road and a constant string of blind corners so I sat behind for a good 2-3mins. In which time the rider got more and more agitated then just started waving his arms and
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
<RANT INCOMING> Right, this is the perfect example of everything that is wrong with car design at the moment. It takes a second or less to pull the charge flap open after you’ve pressed it in (which you still have to do here), and again to close. This is absolutely fucking
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
Okay, I know Twitter loves to shit on Tesla, but I don’t understand how someone can say that this is a boring design. To me this is honestly one of the best looking large car side profiles out today, a really handsome thing. Well proportioned. Yes the big wheels help. Thoughts?
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
@rayrothfe @OccupyDemocrats Fixed that for you, champ.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
@den_bels 😂😂😂😂😂 “My grandad is fresher than your produce and he died in 2008” 😂😂😂😂😂
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
NURSE!!!! 😍
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
This is the perfect example of why black wheels are terrible. Look how much better the one in the foreground looks. Please please stop putting black wheels on cars. They look shit.
@TheDanProsser
Dan Prosser
3 months
They’re multiplying… @OllieKew
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
11 months
Oh my oh my. Throbber purple Aston Martin Valour, with tan interior. 705bhp V12, manual gearbox. Dear god yes, this is perfect. Brutal styling.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
2 months
I don’t think @Ford gets enough appreciation for the fact that it’s the only company still not just selling, but actively developing a manual, RWD coupe with a naturally aspirated V8. And all for under £60k. 👏
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
4 months
The only Ireland Green SLS in the world. Cognac interior. Ceramics. This is absolute perfection 😍
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
11 months
Caterham Project V Concept 272hp, 55kWh battery, 2+1 seats, 250 mile range with super fast charging and 1,160kg. Sub-£80k price tag. Yes yes yes!!! THIS is the new age EV sports car we’ve been waiting for!
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
Wow, the colour palette on the facelifted Velar is just *inspiring* 😴😴😴
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
6 months
**PAY ATTENTION WHILE DRIVING** Driving along just now I noticed some blue lights in the rear view mirror, sone way back. Kept my eye on them and when they got to a few cars back I indicated, slowed and pulled over to the left (30 road, wide single lane). The car behind flashed
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
Erm, what? No, it won’t. Not on road tyres. And if by some miracle it can do that, it absolutely fucking shouldn’t be able to be sold to Joe Bloggs Influencer Bellend Guy. How utterly ridiculous.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
4 months
Hopefully this will stop so many Rangers with horrific body kits being driven by gym owning, neck tattoo’d, tooth-veneered meatheads 4mm from your rear bumper.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 month
Oh how rapidly the shiny veneer(s) falls from this vajazzled, built-on-migrant-death, ghastly chintz-laden place.
@AshleyB_me
Ashley
2 months
DONT FLY TO DUBAI 16hour unmanned queues that are more like mosh pits, the airport is understaffed. People passing out, fighting. No hotel stay as the airport is fully booked, food coupons don’t work. Slept on floor for 48 hours @emirates
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
Porsche reveals a new badge for the 75th anniversary. (It’s on the left). Apparently this was created via an ‘intensive three year process’. Three years. Three. Someone, somewhere in Germany, made a LOT of money off this. 🤦🏻‍♂️
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
2 months
Have to say, Toyota are absolutely killing it these days. New 4Runner looks ace, Landcruiser is cool af, new Prius may be one of the best looking family cars on sale today and the GR86 is the perfect small sports car. 👏
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
7 months
Well that is disappointing. Honda PR called and said that directly due to the negativity of the post below, they're collecting the car early. It's just gone. I don't think I was overly harsh, unreasonable or aggressive about the issues I had with the car in this post, and just
@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
7 months
Hmmm this isn’t going well so far. 1.5hr journey this morning and I’m about ready to drive this thing into a lake and walk away. Issues: 1. I’ve never driven a car, EV or ICE with so little grip. Pulling away from any junction, light throttle in Comfort and the wheels spin up.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 month
What the actual fuck. Mercedes are smoking crack.
@HumpedMyJeweler
Kancho
1 month
I gotta sell this shit this not finna work
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
@cordlessnick @MichaelaOkla But importantly, work didn’t call you at 10pm with something ‘urgent’ (which is anything but) because you had finished work.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
DB12. V8, 671bhp, £185k. Bit silly that they finally call a car DB12 and it doesn’t have a V12 🤦🏻‍♂️
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
11 months
Half. A. Million. Pounds. 🤯
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
25 days
Truly outstanding levels of pettiness. I genuinely aspire to be even close to this guy’s pedantry game 👏😁
@Nantanreikan
Doug Aoki
25 days
Man who kept his boat besides his house was ordered from the city to put up a fence to hide the boat from view. So he built the fence and hired someone to paint it.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
2 months
Random photo as I was just trying to trim the 10k images on my phone. This is my fave photo from almost 10yrs ago when a friend picked me up in his F1 worth about 20x the value of my house 😂
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
17 days
Dear Mansory, please for the love of all that is holy, stop. Just stop. This used to be a beautiful Maserati MC20 and you have utterly ruined it. Yours, people with eyes.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
7 months
@FennieBee @fesshole I’d expect my other half to show some interest and investigate and want to plan something nice for a big birthday like 40. It’s a whole lot of victim blaming to say that it’s his fault she couldn’t be arsed to do some research.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
4 months
Sweet Odin’s beard, I’m in love 😍 Cyan Racing’s P1800 restomod gets a GT version, retains the same 414bhp 2.0 litre turbo engine, 5spd box, RWD, but makes it a little more comfortable focused. I’m awaiting the ‘wheels are too big’ comments already, but I love everything about it
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
11 months
@_david_ho_ @LukeB_MTB Absolutely brilliant. Shows perfectly how nobody has a clue how wide their vehicles are these days. Of course this is always evident when an oncoming car which has parked cars on its side of the road will be 2 fucking metres from the parked cars, and 3 microns from you.
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Tim Oldland
7 months
Just remembering how bonkers Audi used to be. A full size SUV with a 6.0 litre V12 diesel engine making 500hp and 1000Nm. Mental.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
BOLD SPEC ALERT 🚨
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
Christ this is just delicious. Subtle exterior, gorgeous tan interior, absolute motherfucker of an engine up front. Classy as fuck and sub-£20k. Amazing.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
4 months
@RealEmirHan Kate Beckinsale in Click. Infinitely more sexy than any of the Underworld movies.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
2 years
That man @Andy74b has officially won the internet today. Macadamia brown 992 Touring with a tan and pascha interior. Absolutely bloody glorious 👏
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
2 months
Is the new Landcruiser the first car to come with two different headlight options in the same model year? Which do you prefer? Vote in the next tweet! I’m Team Rectangle 👍
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
2 months
Dear Alfa Romeo, what the fuck is this?! I mean, I understand that it’s the graphic from the badge, but WHAT THE FUCK. Absolutely appalling. Imagine having to explain it to everyone who sees your new car.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
Okay, BMW is definitely trolling us now. They’ve literally put bright red lipstick on a pig. 🤦🏻‍♂️
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
@tongax @fesshole *other cold liquids are available
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
@pmberry2007 All of these systems run off the 12v battery.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
9 months
I think I stopped breathing for a few minutes when I saw these pictures 😍
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
2 years
What the fuuuuuuuuuck?! Not what you expect to see outside the local Starbucks! New Countach looking 👌🏻
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
5 months
Well, it’s finished. Finally. For those who haven’t followed: Starting in late August (once the awful weather had stopped) I decided to build a rather large garden room, from scratch, on my own. I regretted this quite a few times, but now it’s done I couldn’t be happier. The
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first M3 Touring flipper!
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
7 months
To my eyes, Mercedes has by far the worst looking EV range of any manufacturer currently. Bland, bloated, uninspiring and badly proportioned. Discuss.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
2 months
I’ve made a few posts recently where I’m very negative about certain EVs, had a few comments asking if I’m ‘realising my mistake’. No, FFS. No. I’ve been very negative about certain aspects of current EV design that are really pissing me off. Over complication, weight
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
Well isn’t this just fucking spectacular! Gordon Murray T33 Spider. 1108kg, 3.9 litre n/a V12 that revs to 11,000rpm making 607bhp, with a six-speed manual ’box. Okay so £1.8m isn’t exactly cheap, but I’m so glad this exists as an alternative to heavy, overly powerful hybrid
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
9 months
Chap across the road has been having his garage renovated for a few months, new roller door went in while we were away and today I see why he’s done it. A rather tasty Huracan Tecnica has appeared!
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
11 months
@arcanegold @FennieBee Or when you click a link to say, Facebook on the Twitter app and it opens Facebook in a browser window that asks you to log in, when you have the App already.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
7 months
Oh sweet Odin’s raven, someone went and did it. They ordered my perfect M3 Touring. Purple, gold wheels and orange interior. Why do I not have £100k spare?!?! 😭
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
2 years
The new C63 AMG. 670hp from a 4cyl hybrid thing. Weighs 2111kg. I could not be less interested.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
Top: £220k Bottom: £85k I know which I’d have!
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
Surprisingly got a call back from the Police just now, thanking me for reporting it as the driver was in medical distress and was brought to a stop safely. Good deed for the day done 👍
@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
M25 this morning. Battered old Nissan Juke, outside lane, 45mph. Full beams on, rather weary looking large driver sitting hunched over the wheel. I called the police to alert them, right thing to do?
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new depreciation king incoming. A £110,000 electric Maserati SUV! 😂
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
5 months
Jesus fucking tittychrist, someone have a word with Pagani please. And that word should be STOP. 🤦🏻‍♂️
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
10 months
Today I learned that you can rent a Polestar 1 with Hertz Tampa. Goals.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
@SaneLefty2 Look at my bio - do I look like I’m anti-EV? My point is that all these little unnecessary things add up. And when small family hatchbacks like my Born weigh 2 tonnes, it’s getting ridiculous.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
7 months
Fuck. Off. Fuck off all the way to Fuckington, then catch the 308 bus to Fuckstanton, walk up Fuckity Hill, then when you get to the top, FUCK OFF SOME MORE. (This is near Goodwood ‘24. Utter cunts)
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
7 months
Hoooooooly crap WHAT IS THIS?!?!?! 😍
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
9 months
Now THAT is a number plate! 😍
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
9 months
This is possibly the most excited I’ve been about a press car arriving ever. Especially as I thought it was going to be triple black, then gorgeous green arrived! 😁👍
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
11 months
AWD, 429bhp, 0-62mph in 3.8sec. And on sale for £36,495. Now that, folks, is what I call the EV value proposition of the year!
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
21 days
Mental note: don't engage with cycling Twitter. I praised the cyclist, was as courteous as I could be, and yet still I'm completely in the wrong and a menace. Get fucked all the way to Fuckington, then carry on to Shitoffsville and then get off in Cuntstown, you fuckwits.
@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
21 days
Driving this morning, came up behind a cyclist, riding perfectly well. It was barely wider than a single lane road and a constant string of blind corners so I sat behind for a good 2-3mins. In which time the rider got more and more agitated then just started waving his arms and
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
9 months
And so it continues. The new 729bhp Cayenne Turbo S e-Hybrid effectively replaces the Turbo GT (2200kg) as the top sporty Cayenne but being a hybrid this clocks in at 2700kg. Mmmm, dynamic. But don’t worry, you can get a carbon roof so it’ll feel like a Cayman now. 🤦🏻‍♂️ And it
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
11 months
I know these wheels are from *that* brand, but it is wrong to absolutely love these three-spoke style wheels for the new Range Rover? They’re a really slick, modern, fresh interesting design.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
7 months
I have to ask, WTF are Polestar thinking with the new 4 not having any form of rear window?! Horrible idea. Just horrible. We need natural LIGHT in cars and rear view cameras just don’t cut it for me.
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Tim Oldland
3 years
People of Britain. Stop buying SUVs if you need a family car. Buy one of these. Starting at £15k, looks great and seats seven. The roads should be full of these, but no, everyone buys a Qashqai. Sad face.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
Wife sent me this from the office at 7:30am. What a truly stunning view!
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
2 months
Wow, imagine living your life caring that much about what others think that you’d miss out on going in one of the most incredible cars ever made 🤷🏼‍♂️
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 years
I still can’t get over how poorly integrated the radar sensor is on the Roma. It looks like a sodding GoPro stuck in the bumper 🤦🏻‍♂️
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
7 months
Hmmm this isn’t going well so far. 1.5hr journey this morning and I’m about ready to drive this thing into a lake and walk away. Issues: 1. I’ve never driven a car, EV or ICE with so little grip. Pulling away from any junction, light throttle in Comfort and the wheels spin up.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
7 months
So away goes one blue Honda, replaced by another for a week. Honda’s 2nd full EV, the e:Ny1 (not supposed to be pronounced ’anyone’ apparently). The reviews that came out recently weren’t exactly glowing, so I’m interested to see how it works as a family hack for a week. I’m
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
5 months
Revised GR Yaris - now I’m VERY interested to drive this. I’ve never liked the GR, because the visibility was so poor for me at 6’3. But in this facelift the seat is 25mm lower, dash top 50mm lower and the rear view mirror is 20mm higher up. This should improve things massively
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Tim Oldland
2 years
So, so pretty. If only we had beautiful estates like this now…
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Tim Oldland
1 year
Some utterly gorgeous US muscle to brighten your Tuesday morning, spotted on a Facebook group. Ultra rare factory RHD ‘69 ‘Cuda. Full ad text below, because I’m a blue tick wanker 😁 £26,000 1969 Plymouth Barracuda Fastback Original matching 5.2 V8
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
@Enigma_180 @fesshole Sadly for a huge percentage of the population, drinking is their entire personality.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
I mean, at least it’s not black/grey, but wow. This is, incredibly a $120,000 Porsche factory option, through PTS Plus. On a $170,000 car that’s quite a commitment to making your car look like it’s got a £5k Yiannimise wrap.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
@thrasherxy Guessing you haven’t got a daughter? If these little predators did what they did to my daughter the courts wouldn’t have anything left to try. Do we need to address the access to the app? Yes, but they’re 13/14. They know right from wrong so they should be tried accordingly.
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Tim Oldland
21 days
@CTWhite80 What? So there was nowhere safe for him to stop, yet I am still in the wrong for not overtaking him dangerously. 🖕
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
2 months
Spotted on Facebook. What. The. Fuck.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
Fantastic news - £15,995 for the more powerful 64hp model, which will do 100 miles on a charge. Perfect town car - let’s have more cars with small batteries!!! And it’ll DC fast charge too should you want to go further in it. But this is a city car and damn good value it is too.
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Tim Oldland
9 months
😍
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Tim Oldland
1 year
Well this is quite the curio. Nice clean 225 in purple, but with a blue interior. And then the bucket seats?! And blue steering wheel?! Some seriously strong optioning going on!
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
4 months
Well, last wash, sticker removal and deep clean done as the vRS is being returned tomorrow after 2.5yrs and 20k. I will miss the incredible versatility of this 245 DSG vRS, it’s insane practicality and even the rorty fake engine noise inside. The stereo was fantastic, the ride
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
11 months
EV peeps. Shit like this is doing you no favours. Give your heads a wobble.
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Tim Oldland
4 months
@natfriedman @FrankyArt2 Much like the people of Pompei, he’s just experienced a truly deep burn.
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Tim Oldland
3 years
Unexpected Cars Outside Sainsbury’s #352 - a Panhard.
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Tim Oldland
2 years
I heard the new Chinese Lotus Eletre factory is being entirely powered by a dynamo attached to Colin Chapman spinning in his grave 😂😂😂
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Tim Oldland
10 months
Did rather well in the hire car lottery. Model 3 AWD LR, £380 for two weeks with Hertz. And you know what, it’s bloody brilliant. It’s 35°C here, so the interior gets chuffing warm thanks to the huge pano roof, but the AC cools it completely in a few minutes. Performance really
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
@WindsorDebs I really fucking hope you haven’t procreated.
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
3 months
I’m in love 😍 (Pics from Practical Performance Car on Facebook, who aren’t on here)
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
1 year
Bronze wheels on a yellow car should mean instant forfeit of said car.
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Tim Oldland
2 months
This is a real world experience that spanners like the Daily Fail and Express can’t deny. EVs aren’t perfect, but this is absolutely outstanding. I had a rental Model3 for two weeks/1000miles with 57k on it and it felt like brand new inside. People really need to throw their
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Tim Oldland
3 months
@trevorshowvan @TableBoston @EaterBoston @infatuation @TimeOutBoston @bostonherald @BostonFoodDiary Passive aggressive reply to a perfectly normal review on Google too. This Jen person needs to step back from social media.
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Tim Oldland
4 months
And in today’s instalment of ‘You Don’t See That Every Day’….. A Vauxhall Victor restomod with a 4.2 Audi V8, AWD and A4 interior 😳
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Tim Oldland
3 months
Today’s spot on the A13 coming out of London - a beautiful red Alfa Giulia GTAm with the big wing. Utterly gorgeous. Sadly was driving so no pic, but here’s a stock image:
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@Tim_Oldland
Tim Oldland
5 years
@rich_energy @HaasF1Team @redbullracing @WilliamsRacing @F1 This is a textbook case of “you can’t fire me, I quit!” 😂
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Tim Oldland
3 months
Just sent this on Insta by @LUDENClassics - some guy added black and red tape and massively improved the rear of the new M2! What do we think - will this be the facelift in a couple of years? 🤔
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