Jess Dweck @TheDweck Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@_TarakTweets

@gemzape

@Ace_boogie_01

@goldenmajk

@kyoffieofficial

@geoeconomics2

@GREIGEXVS1300A

@khakouqlf

@Gene5AK

@SUNSfanTV

@patrick_galle

@gonukito

@BADGALRM

@TopherPatt

@LizBreadon

@Slap_BattlesRBX

@jaidiaaaa

@NCIAorg

@TheWelshDragon9

@context_girl

@k_boogieeee

@ImJustPargo

@vinaygu3246926

@ML4CDworkshop

@fahd9898

@144_george

@ChangeEquation

@Kuusogaa

@clubhouselee

@HeataoMil_grau

@sehunitb

@GaryUsher13

@heyzeusmuhammed

@yimmieg

@thechelskikid

@DefiantNews

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

3 years

Congrats to Trump on his first ever consequence

746

36K

421K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

Can’t believe LA is shutting down again. We did everything wrong and everything still went wrong

893

48K

405K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

Still thinking about how people were like “not all cops!” then literally all cops in Buffalo were like “no, it’s all of us”

432

66K

303K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

The police are blaming the man they murdered for not being healthy enough to strangle for 9 minutes

David Begnaud

@DavidBegnaud

4 years

BREAKING: Charging doc against Minneapolis police officer who kept his knee on George Floyd’s neck says autopsy revealed: “No physical findings that support a diagnosis of traumatic asphyxia or strangulation”...combination of force & health problems contributed to death. (CNN)

4K

3K

5K

2K

82K

258K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

These teams are playing like they know whoever wins goes to the White House

2K

66K

249K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

I’m no HR professional but it’s prob a bad sign when an employee writes an anonymous letter calling you a brain-dead asshole and you can’t even narrow it down to 100 people

1K

43K

222K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

Doing what

The Hill

@thehill

4 years

Ivanka Trump works from home after interacting with official who tested for coronavirus

692

121

572

1K

19K

216K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

2 years

Must be nice to have control over who’s inside you

629

30K

207K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Why not

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

6 years

My daughter, Ivanka, just arrived in South Korea. We cannot have a better, or smarter, person representing our country.

31K

8K

63K

1K

39K

195K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Lot of people criticizing this, but in fairness, the best way to honor a Republican is to deny Americans a vital government service they rely on

KMOV

@KMOV

5 years

US Postal Service says mail deliveries will be suspended Wednesday in honor of George H.W. Bush #KMOV

652

488

1K

35K

179K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

It's almost as if the climate...... changed

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

7 years

Going to a Cabinet Meeting (tele-conference) at 11:00 A.M. on #Harvey . Even experts have said they've never seen one like this!

12K

6K

34K

715

55K

179K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

This is the news photo that would make a returning time traveler realize they fucked something up

3K

39K

178K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

3 years

Prob just a coincidence that everyone at the Trump riot had people in their personal lives who couldn’t wait to turn them in

542

19K

173K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

Trump: You're really hurting our budget, Puerto Rico! also Trump: Mike, fly to Indiana for 2 seconds to show how much you hate black people

665

53K

165K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

“What do we want?” “Our kids to die!” “When do we want it?” “Unexpectedly, from a preventable 19th-century steamship disease!”

CBS News

@CBSNews

5 years

Hundreds rally to preserve right not to vaccinate children amid measles outbreak

5K

776

2K

1K

43K

165K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

"WHERE IS THE CLITORIS?"

1K

47K

157K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Ted Cruz is the only person who pretends to be a serial killer to be MORE likable

Ted Cruz

@tedcruz

6 years

Happy Halloween

6K

44K

123K

325

30K

158K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Do you know how evil you have to be for a story to come out that you hate blind people and it’s not even in the top five worst things about you today

Newsweek

@Newsweek

6 years

Trump ordered illegal removal of braille because "no blind people are going to live in Trump Tower": Report

525

3K

4K

736

44K

149K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Imagine being so terrible that this is an accomplishment

The Hill

@thehill

6 years

Trump visits first lady in hospital for second straight day

1K

124

620

466

37K

148K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

People died in a fire and he’s on the side of the fire

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

6 years

There is no reason for these massive, deadly and costly forest fires in California except that forest management is so poor. Billions of dollars are given each year, with so many lives lost, all because of gross mismanagement of the forests. Remedy now, or no more Fed payments!

82K

15K

79K

1K

26K

138K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Sorry for using dead children to advance my controversial political agenda of wanting fewer dead children

229

35K

136K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

So glad that America has finally harnessed its greatest natural resource: the viciousness of teens

381

14K

136K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

3 years

No one should have to look at this many photos of Ted Cruz

200

11K

128K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Never forget that the President drew a smaller crowd than a Pikachu balloon

516

39K

122K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

Get out of this country if you can't speak the language

The Hill

@thehill

7 years

Trump: Hurricane Irma "looks like it could be something that will be not good"

929

1K

2K

435

36K

122K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

Whenever Pence talks he sounds like a serial killer calmly explaining why he has to do this to you

1K

14K

123K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

My gynecologist’s office sent an email saying they’re now doing video visits so I guess this is how I become a cam girl

316

8K

121K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Congrats to Trump on finally being fucked by a woman his own age

The New York Times

@nytimes

5 years

Breaking News: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi plans to announce a formal impeachment inquiry against President Trump over his dealings with Ukraine

458

2K

7K

2K

13K

110K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

I can’t believe they recast Barron

892

19K

107K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

I miss when our president was a constitutional law professor and not a guy who had to take a test to make sure he knows what a lion looks like

537

21K

107K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

“How will I explain to my 12-year-old child who is being forced to give birth to her rapist’s baby that two cartoon characters are getting married?”

Alabama Public Television refuses to air Arthur episode

Alabama Public Television chose not to air PBS’s Arthur episode that included a same-sex marriage.

www.al.com

600

26K

104K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

If you work at Mar-a-Lago how do you NOT show up in Trump’s bedroom at 3 am dressed as a ghost in chains

708

21K

101K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

Stop it. His name is Piers.

The New York Times

@nytimes

7 years

There's a monster in London's sewers. It's a mass of fat, wipes, diapers and tampons that weighs more than 140 tons.

265

484

1K

473

23K

100K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

White House: We can't help Puerto Rico bc there's no way to reach it! also White House: Literally all of us use private planes to go to CVS

471

29K

100K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

2 years

Jealous of the terrible crimes gunless countries get to have

New York Post

@nypost

2 years

Mona Lisa attacked by cake-throwing climate activist in bizarre demonstration

307

371

2K

144

7K

102K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Game of Thrones is clearly fantasy because the leaders try to deal with the existential threat to humanity first

232

18K

99K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Do you know how shitty a leader you have to be to be protested by a country you’re not even in charge of

331

17K

97K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

Just passed by a "Welcome to America" sign at airport customs and it felt like when someone forgets to take down a Christmas tree

469

21K

96K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

3 years

Despite all the horrors of 2020 I somehow wasn’t emotionally prepared for seeing all the worst people in Washington get the vaccine first

513

10K

97K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

When a piece of lettuce makes someone sick, we recall all the lettuce

937

26K

95K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

As the father of 25 daughters, I'm starting to think women might actually be people

207

19K

94K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

Sucks when people judge you based on how you look, huh?

emptywheel (synonym: scrutinize)

@emptywheel

7 years

Peter Cvjetanovic says, "I’m not the angry racist they see in that photo"

2K

251

35K

93K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Maybe if we post enough GIFs, NBC will bring back Obama

411

16K

94K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

White House yesterday: Liberals have created a delusional fantasy in their heads that we’re supervillains White House today: We’re defunding the Special Olympics to pay for a racism wall

422

22K

93K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

"They want everything to be done for them."

2K

42K

91K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Ted Cruz is going to treat himself to TWO live mice tonight

371

13K

92K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

You have never made anything come

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

5 years

61K

46K

171K

1K

8K

89K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Man Farts Up Entire Elevator Then Gets Off at Next Stop

The Hill

@thehill

6 years

#BREAKING : Paul Ryan to announce retirement from Congress

1K

2K

4K

501

18K

89K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

Weird how all the Republicans who know every little developmental stage of a fetus suddenly don’t understand what incubation time is

162

12K

91K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

3 years

Every article about J&J should include the sentence “There have been more Air Bud movies than people harmed by the Johnson & Johnson vaccine”

184

8K

90K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

You angrily walked out of a football game when you saw black players protesting racism

Vice President Mike Pence Archived

@VP45

6 years

Honored to lay a wreath at MLK Jr. Memorial w/ @SecondLady . He was a great American leader who inspired a movement & transformed a Nation. He took the words of our Founders to heart to forge a more perfect union based on the notion all men are created equal & in the image of God.

6K

2K

12K

665

23K

84K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

That’s just how Stephen Miller enters the building before taking human form

Eamon Javers

@EamonJavers

5 years

It’s official: The White House basement is flooding.

2K

7K

890

8K

83K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

Thank God we don’t have a female president. She’d be so emotionally volatile and obsessed with her appearance!

294

14K

81K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

New Zealand citizenship

New York Post

@nypost

6 years

These three little words are a big turn-on

8K

903

7K

281

10K

81K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

3 years

What’s cool about the next two weeks is every day is the one-year anniversary of something absolutely soul crushing

97

8K

81K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

This sounds like a letter a 6-year-old wrote to the White House

Christina Wilkie

@christinawilkie

6 years

Trump: “We should have a new force called the Space Force. It’s like the Army and the Navy, but for space, because we’re spending a lot of money on space.”

3K

8K

571

18K

78K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

You thought HPV was HIV and looked directly into an eclipse

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

6 years

Lebron James was just interviewed by the dumbest man on television, Don Lemon. He made Lebron look smart, which isn’t easy to do. I like Mike!

103K

29K

119K

373

12K

77K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

They look like the evil couple in a Disney Channel movie who tries to kidnap a dog pop star

623

10K

77K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Imagine liking police brutality so much you ordered new clothes

The Hill

@thehill

6 years

Missouri college volleyball team replaces its Nike uniforms with gray t-shirts over Kaepernick ad

819

224

705

631

14K

75K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

“Taylor!” *everyone turns around*

Philip Crowther

@PhCrowther

6 years

The White House has released this photo of Trump with the White House spring interns. Diversity this ain’t.

2K

5K

14K

523

13K

73K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

Not important but why does he sit on every chair like it’s a toilet

3K

5K

73K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

3 years

CPAC is Comic-Con for people who’ve been muted by their entire family on Facebook

307

8K

73K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

As an undecided voter it’s just so hard for me to choose between the guy who called on his white supremacist gangs to terrorize Americans and the guy who didn’t do that

283

8K

73K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Trump is so incompetent that he’s fighting with a dead body and the dead body is winning

631

11K

72K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

I just wish these high school students had some relevant expertise before speaking out about public policy, like owning a beauty pageant or being the host of The Apprentice

311

13K

71K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

7 years

Every pothead Jeff Sessions wants to throw in jail has a better memory than Jeff Sessions

642

23K

69K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Anyway it was way off base for a tv commercial to suggest that some boys need to behave better

571

11K

70K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

Amy Coney Barrett’s nomination wasn’t supposed to be a public health disaster until AFTER she was confirmed

161

8K

69K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

It’ll be tough but if Nike wants to get Ted Cruz back on their side they’ll have to say that his wife is ugly and his dad killed JFK

The Hill

@thehill

5 years

Cruz vows never to buy Nike products again after "Betsy Ross flag" sneaker canceled

956

159

957

692

9K

67K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Vaping is very bad for children’s health and I’m glad to hear it will no longer be allowed in their concentration camp cages

151

10K

67K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

I assume she was pretending to row it

Page Six

@PageSix

5 years

Lori Loughlin’s daughter Olivia Jade was on yacht of USC official when mom was charged

438

512

2K

433

6K

67K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

I’m “can everyone at this concert just agree to sit down” years old

355

8K

67K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

LIFE HACK: Don’t be racist and you won’t get caught on cell phone video being racist

227

14K

65K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

“I hope the news of him paying off a porn star doesn’t distract from the news of him calling non-white countries shitholes” is a sentence we can now say about the President of the United States

365

19K

65K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

“Out of the hundreds of people Jeffrey Dahmer met in his life, he only killed and ate 17”

Rebecca Ballhaus

@rebeccaballhaus

5 years

Rudy Giuliani pens a @WSJ op-ed: “Out of a five-page transcript Mr. Trump spent only six lines on Joe Biden.”

908

212

594

264

9K

65K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Seriously, congrats to Trump on being so awful he caused a nation known for emotional repression to scream angrily in the streets for hours

174

10K

65K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

Oh no is coronavirus okay?

CP24

@CP24

4 years

GOP Sen. Ted Cruz staying at home after exposure to man with coronavirus

156

55

301

293

5K

65K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Unclear why we’re all still using this site when the worst case scenario for a tweet is it ruins your entire life and the best case scenario is it ends up on a Mashable list of sassiest replies to the IHOP account

305

8K

64K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Biden’s campaign is such a giant disaster I’m surprised Elizabeth Warren doesn’t have a plan to fix it

757

8K

64K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

I’m sure Mueller leaving it to people to interpet his careful legal language will be effective on a country that still doesn’t know they should vaccinate their kids

344

10K

63K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Republicans who assume liberals will try to protect an accused pedophile just bc he’s on their side politically are really telling on themselves

1K

10K

62K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

Reading news from South Korea and Germany feels like seeing career updates from more successful people your age

138

7K

63K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

It’s not hard, guys. If you want to graduate without debt, just get a part-time job, go to a state school, and build a time machine to go back to 40 years ago when that was possible

378

8K

62K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

“Why won’t the woman we’re stalking abandon her security detail??”

New York Post

@nypost

5 years

Ocasio-Cortez leaves parade in 17 mpg minivan — blocks from the subway

3K

707

3K

108

7K

62K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

My screen time report this week just said “no it’s cool we get it”

157

4K

62K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Me when I say I’m five minutes away

295

15K

61K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

To those who are lucky enough to have a partner during this, please remember to check in on your single friends to tell them how much you are actually fighting

474

5K

61K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

Our passports don’t work anymore bc we’re riddled with disease

358

7K

60K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

2020 sounded like the most futuristic year and now we’re all like “I traded my neighbor a handkerchief for some carrots”

218

9K

60K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Destroying the world just to prevent your hotel chain from going bankrupt a seventh time is the dumbest supervillain plot of all time

275

10K

59K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

3 years

If your 10-year-old is being taught Critical Race Theory you should be ecstatic bc it means they’re in law school

222

5K

59K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

FBI: Did you do it? KAVANAUGH: No FBI: Good enough for us! KAVANAUGH: I went to Yale FBI: Oooh we’ll write down “Extra didn’t do it”

244

8K

58K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Trump may be an evil bigot but it’s important to remember he’s also the dumbest person alive

Sean O'Kane

@sokane1

5 years

Trump just called Apple CEO Tim Cook “Tim Apple”

6K

50K

184K

396

7K

57K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

Congrats to Republicans on making “should children be kept in cages” a partisan issue

153

11K

55K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

“Is everyone in the girls’ locker room okay?”

Splinter

@splinter_news

6 years

Trump claims he would have 'run in' to stop the Parkland shooting

129

33

165

317

8K

55K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

When you can’t find a cross

2K

11K

54K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

4 years

The rest of the world should never stop making fun of us for letting a guy from Home Alone 2 kill 138,000 people

297

7K

55K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

5 years

Pour one out for Paul Ryan, who leaves office without accomplishing his lifelong goal of killing every poor person in America

520

10K

54K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

It’s almost as if the climate... changed

Fox News Research

@FoxNewsResearch

6 years

In records dating back to 1851, there has never been a Category 4 or Category 5 hurricane to make landfall in the Florida Panhandle— #HurricaneMichael would be the first.

229

666

1K

166

10K

54K

Jess Dweck

@TheDweck

6 years

You’re confusing an individual data point with an overall trend. For example, everyone you hung out with today seemed to like you, but historically, you are the most disliked president since polling data began

435

12K

53K