River_Tam @RiverTamYDN Twitter profile

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 years

Hello to my new followers! You followed me because I made a funny joke but I assure you it's all downhill from here.

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Last Seen Profiles

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@Doctors_Vote

River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 years

I apologize for the thoughts in my head

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

18 days

Kid went to a classmate's birthday party today. She's complained for months about a boy in her class who apparently tries to annoy her on purpose. Well at the party I watch this kid like a hawk and (I bet you can see where this is going) that boy has the most obvious crush on her

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

1 year

Her dad died of a heart attack at 42. Her grandfather died of a heart attack at 63. Her grandmother died of a heart attack at 46.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

5 months

Some of my favorite 30 rock bits

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

1 month

It's so funny that a goth highschooler on r/ShermanPosting managed to make so many people mad. Like...her other reddit posts are about the cool pants she found at Hot Topic (literally). Just 10/10 stuff.

Polling USA

@USA_Polling

1 month

Happy Confederates Lost The War Day

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 months

I cannot emphasize how much you should absolutely never tell your married boss that you have a crush on them

Simon ䷀ Ohler

@simon_ohler

3 months

somone on the vibecamp forum asked: "I have a raging crush on my boss who is married and I’m EXHAUSTED by this and want it to end. How to get over a crush?" I enjoyed giving an answer and here it is:

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

18 days

Unfortunately she already accepted a marriage proposal from another boy in her class last year. He changed schools and they haven't seen each other in almost a year but she still occasionally mentions it offhandedly like "when I grow up and marry Brixton*" *(not his real name)

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 months

"32 is really cold and 86 is really hot" is the most English-coded opinion I've ever seen. "Oi a bit of a hot one innit guvnah" i say in regular T-shirt and shorts weather

Andy Ryan

@ItsAndyRyan

2 months

Who's to say which system is better?

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

4 months

Presented without comment

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 months

Another Twitter love story 🥰

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

4 months

Guy who thinks medieval armies were eating fresh meat

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 years

Zoomers and late millennials don't know there was once an era where there were like 3 memes a year and they all were like this

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

1 year

If my Googling is right, this house is owned and lived in by...a tenured professor of **plant biology** at UGA. Folks, you can't make this up.

Nick Huber

@sweatystartup

1 year

This is what you get without an HOA. We have one place in our neighborhood that isn’t governed by the HOA and this is what we get as a neighbor.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

1 month

"Hey guys, I found a way to make money for free" Every time:

peepeepoopoo

@DeepDishEnjoyer

1 month

so when are we banning TikTok

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 months

Bush vs Gore in 2000 was the first election when everyone standardized on Dems being blue and Republicans being red.

holden m. accountable

@noahpasaran

2 months

finding out the term “Debbie downer” was coined on SNL is one of those real facts that do not seem congruent with the world

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

1 year

Fun fact from someone who actually grew up poor: things like rage-quitting and general insubordination over minor (sometimes completely made-up) slights from bosses is actually a hallmark of blue-collar life!

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

4 months

Travis Kelce is such a good football player because he combines the best genetic attributes of his white parents (blue-collar work ethic, route-running) and the Wuhanese mRNA in the COVID vaccine (cleverness, inscrutability, misdirection)

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

25 days

That's so cool! Remind me - why is this email public?

Sonia Baschez

@SoniaBaschez

26 days

“please let me know who” lmao

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

1 month

Yes there's no other reason this man might want to change his name to break into showbusiness.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 months

SO THE TIKTOKER WHO SAID SHE FELT FEMINISM LEAVE HER BODY ON A DATE WHEN THE GUY PAID HAS A DEADBEAT DAD WHO QUIT HIS JOB TO BECOME A BREAKDANCER BUT HES ALSO A CRAZY CRYPTO/ELON/TRUMP STAN AND FOUNDED THE DARTMOUTH REVIEW AND IS COLLEGE BUDDIES WITH DINESH DSOUZA AND LAURA INGRA

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 years

Me to toddler: oh you're into dinosaurs? Name every dinosaur that ever roamed the earth *Five minutes later* Me: Ive made a horrible mistake

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

18 days

@crispfallday Say nothing. She already stands up for herself and tells him to fuck off (not in those precise words) when he's being obnoxious, but seems fine playing with him otherwise. If she was less assertive I'd teach her how to do the former.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

5 months

QQ

@HeylKatme

5 months

Elrond putting together the Fellowship roster

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

16 days

In order - 1) wright brothers did not publicize the 1904 flight at the time and waited four more years until 1908 when they unveiled a plane that thrilled audiences and won military contracts from multiple nations

will o’brien 🌊

@willobri

16 days

Barely reviewable

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

5 months

I know a guy who started dating a goat farmer in rural Ohio and then like 6 months into dating he found out she was living off a big trust fund and her great grandfather was listed in Wikipedia as a "shipping magnate"

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

5 months

several guys moved in next door, students I guess. ive gotten two confused doordash drivers for them in the last week, and their trashcan was completely overflowing with outback steakhouse bags. i don't think they cook. i am feeling such a strange motherly urge to feed these boys

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 months

Not that long

J.D. Vance

@JDVance1

3 months

I have a long memory. If you’re fighting Trump and his endorsed candidates politically today, don’t ask for my help in a year with your legislation or your pet projects.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

25 days

I think people are misunderstanding why this charitable strategy has no effect. It's not bc these people are destined to live lives of high debt. It's because when these charities purchase the *cheapest* debt hoping to maximize their impact they're actually doing the opposite.

AnechoicMedia

@AnechoicMedia_

26 days

Economists see inspiring John Oliver segment on debt relief, conduct a randomized trial to forgive $169 million in medical debt, find this has no effect on quality of life or future financial distress at all.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 years

Technically, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom does not need to be a Member Of Parliament or even a citizen of the UK at all

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

4 months

@mpoplin87 You are always allowed to ridicule data scientists

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

10 months

No further questions your honor

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 years

Leftists really be like that

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

16 days

Pediatric cancer used to be a death sentence and now it isn't. Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (the most common childhood cancer) used to have a median survival time of six months. Now it's a remission rate of 98%, with 85%+ and climbing expected to have it never come back.

Noah

@conservativenoa

16 days

@Terraph1 @Skyyler05 It’s unanimously agreed upon scientists that finding the cure to cancer is impossible.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 years

After my wife has cheated on me: hell yeah now I get to have gay sex this rocks

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 months

@virgil_30 Oh sure just skip over the real issue, the rocking chair

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 months

@__justplaying

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 months

@softfromware I don't care about the temperature at which water boils. This is not a thing I need to know in my everyday life.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

21 days

The dumbest thing about the University responses to these protests is that they could just wait a lot of them out for like...a week or two because then the semester ends and all the students leave

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

1 month

It continues to be incredibly funny that Starbucks - an operation with zero connection to Israel (they haven't had stores there in literal decades) - gets this treatment simply because there are a lot of locations so they're an easy protest target.

Brendan Gutenschwager

@BGOnTheScene

1 month

Pro-Palestine protesters entered a Starbucks in Ann Arbor, chanting “Starbucks, Starbucks, you can’t hide, not ‘til we free Palestine”

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 months

Ah yes, the "knowing where Suriname is" component of g

Spencer Greenberg 🔍

@SpencrGreenberg

2 months

A question indicative of (very approximately) 120 IQ

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 months

Biden should say that if 5 or more justices say he's above the law he will send all the justices straight to gitmo. A fun game theory exercise for them to work through!

nope, won't beg silly ass progressives for votes

@reesetheone1

3 months

5-4 SCOTUS rules Trump is above the law. That's my guess.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 years

I found ur problem

Jamie Little

@JamieLittleTV

2 years

As a small business owner, I can attest. This has been truth for the past year and it isn’t getting better.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

14 days

I sort of get "I'm not going to vote for Biden because of Gaza". It's a "don't take my vote for granted" thing. Sort of get it. But it's 100% true that Trump would tangibly be the very worst US President for Palestinian welfare, no? Just based on his existing track record?

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

6 months

Joe Biden could tell a knock knock joke and a bunch of people would be like "Biden thinks he's at the door! This is incredibly troubling."

Sweet Meteor O'Death

@smod4real

6 months

They had a choice between using two candles in the shape of an 8 and a 1 on a normal sized cake, or an inferno of 81 separate candles covering the entire surface of a tiny cake, and the PR wizards at the White House decided on this:

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

11 months

This is so funny because every comment is an extremely mad teenage Redditor calling the dad an asshole when in reality this kid needs to just listen to his dad and suffer through a few hours of boredom in exchange for him *paying for a trip to The Bahamas*.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

5 months

Every Western Culture Bluecheck account be like

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 months

You are giving advice it literally is your place to say "don't do it"

Simon ䷀ Ohler

@simon_ohler

3 months

@yourfriendmell This perception will most likely result in "what am I doing, this is a horrible idea". Which I mostly agree with. But OP or even the part of OP that has the crush has to see that for themselves. It's not up to me to say "don't do it".

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

11 months

Assholes who refuse to hop on a 5 minute call are why companies are pushing return to office policies so aggressively

Robot James 🤖🏖

@therobotjames

11 months

"it'll be easier to talk about this, let's hop on a quick 5-minute call"

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 months

@quantadan Yeah your boss will handle it by thinking you're a total freak

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

16 days

3) very famously, Edison did not invent the lightbulb but instead made it *commercially viable*. His first demonstrations lasted tens of hours but what he eventually brought to market lasted up to 1000+ hours.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 years

I see the "ban AC" movement learned its messaging strategy from the "defund the police" movement

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 months

The Stanford grad student calling for Biden's assassination has a Twitter account and if you check its history before 10/7 he tweeted exclusively about two topics - abortion and the LGBT agenda (against both).

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

10 months

This is not an accident.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

16 days

2) turings work was secret from the public but the British bombe was cracking kriegsmarine codes for the first time in the war basically as soon as it was built

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

11 months

Just gonna keep a running list of RFK Jr beliefs: * AIDS denialism * Pesticides in the water are making kids transgender/gay * Fluoridated water lowers IQ * 5G is a Bill Gates surveillance conspiracy * Vaccines cause peanut allergies & autism * Prozac is causing school shootings

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

16 days

4) there are a lot of people in the background of the photo of Alexander Graham Bell using the early telephone because everyone pretty much immediately loved it. Queen Victoria of England, the Emperor of Brazil, and Lord Kelvin were some of its earliest fans.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 years

If only there were some preexisting societal institution that signalled to everyone that your relationship ought to be taken seriously.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 months

Literally shaking. The robot does not care if Nate lives or dies.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

25 days

You're basically paying the lenders to tell you who has finances so bad that they've been totally written off and then studying them to confirm that their finances are bad.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 months

The key is that Tony Stark is one of the only main characters who is ever actually AFRAID of things. Captain America, Thor, Hulk, Vision, Dr Strange, Captain Marvel, even characters without powers like Falcon and Black Widow...never actually afraid.

Open Source Stupidity (OSSTU) Starfish

@IRHotTakes

2 months

My weirdest MCU opinion is that the vibes of the entire universe were thrown off when Iron Man, the only guy who actually fucks, died.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

1 year

Lol Strongsuit has deleted their pricing page after people noted that this was a service charging $600/mo for a virtual personal assistant. (Second pic from Wayback Machine)

Lindsey Michaelides

@lcmichaelides

1 year

Hi, I’m Lindsey. A bit about me: - Ohio mother of 4 - I employ a team of 15 as a start-up founder & CEO of Strongsuit - drive a used Honda Odessey - husband works in manufacturing - The financial future of my company, team and family are at risk w/ the collapse of SVB (1/23)

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

6 months

Yikes unsharing now...I thought his "Letter to America" laying out a justification for terrorism to undermine the global domination of Zionism was insightful, I didn't realize he married an 18 year old when he was in his 40s

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

16 days

PS on the telephone - within two years of its patenting, William Orton, the President of Western Union, told friends if he could get the patent for $25M ($800M+ in today's dollars) he'd consider it a bargain.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 months

This is a normal journalistic practice to dissuade people from self-immolating to get their cause in the news...

Assal Rad

@AssalRad

3 months

Why did he do it? Four major news outlets have almost the exact same headline for the self-immolation of 25-year old Aaron Bushnell. Not one of them mentions the words “Gaza” or “genocide,” the reason for Aaron’s protest, or the word “Palestine,” his last words spoken.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

25 days

The cheapest debt is, of course, the debt that's the least likely to ever be paid off. If you can purchase a loan of $1 for $0.01, it means the lender already believes pretty strongly that it's never gonna be paid off.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 months

So I know a lot of people are ignorant of the history here - a refresher. This interview was given seven days before the US led a UN invasion of Haiti to restore Aristide. Biden opposed this use of US troops.

Friendly Neighborhood Comrade

@SpiritofLenin

2 months

Joe Biden in 1994: "If Haiti—a God-awful thing to say—if Haiti just quietly sunk into the Caribbean or rose up 300 feet, it wouldn't matter a whole lot to our interests."

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

17 days

@AmaraNot He was being annoying on purpose, to get her attention. Didn't make her uncomfortable, just rightly annoyed.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

17 days

@goodiespeaker They're 5 and she told him to go away bc he was being annoying. I think she's fine.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

9 months

Literally no one called Newton crazy for suggesting that an invisible force held us to the ground.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

1 year

Wait oh no it's the same guy???

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

1 year

Honestly the most unlikeable thing about my husband is that sometimes he's just like "hm I've gained 15 pounds in the past two years, I should probably diet" and a month later he's like "I successfully lost the weight"

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

7 months

Hell yeah the left is doing index fund conspiracy theories again

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

27 days

WaPo reports that this juror also listened to the "Mueller She Wrote" podcast lol. I wouldn't be so sure this guy is MAGA.

nope, won't beg silly ass progressives for votes

@reesetheone1

28 days

How you get a hung jury.....

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

4 months

Stancil continues to pick on easy targets - tankies, racists, and the French.

Will Stancil

@whstancil

4 months

Minnesota’s humble low-tier low-IQ striver land-grant university stacked up against the premier educational institution in all of France, established in the year 1257

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@RiverTamYDN

2 months

This is very funny. Adams has been using the "Port Au Prince of America" phrase for a decade. But he's the only one. It's just his personal phrase.

Mayor Eric Adams

@NYCMayor

2 months

We call New York City the Port-Au-Prince of America. We feel the pain our Haitian neighbors feel as the situation grows dire. To the people of Haiti and our own Haitian community here in New York City, know that we stand with you today and always.

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@RiverTamYDN

7 months

I love her. She's been consuming more than a full gram of caffeine a day.

ostonox

@ostonox

7 months

people just now discovering the panera lemonade that kills you and this woman has been having "four or five of them" a day 🫨

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@RiverTamYDN

5 months

"Reconciliation Monument" is a name that was made up in 2023 for the Confederate Memorial at Arlington by butthurt Confederate sympathizers. You literally can't find a single reference to it ever being called that from before 2023 on the entire internet.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

11 months

This is a Lithuanian dress company with 321K instagram followers that denominates their prices in Euros, I think they're gonna be ok with pissing off 1000 extremely online American snowflakes

Bethany S. Mandel

@bethanyshondark

11 months

One of my favorite dress shops- a modest old fashioned linen company- featured a man modeling their dresses. They’re down 1,000 followers and the comments are a dumpster fire for them. I truly do not understand what they expected. Who do they think their audience is?

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@RiverTamYDN

2 years

when you definitely understand stuff

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@RiverTamYDN

2 months

@tangentarine

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@RiverTamYDN

2 months

There are very few companies on earth that could plausibly acquire TikTok at a fair price, and y'all are not gonna like the list

james, the giant peach

@JimmyRis

2 months

what would be the funniest American company to acquire TikTok from ByteDance when the bill passes?

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@RiverTamYDN

2 years

Bernie: the sky is blue Newsmax: the sky is blue Biden: the sky is blue Trump: the sky is the most beautiful blue we've ever seen, believe me CNN: the sky is blue Glenn Greenwald: one more example of how the CIA doesn't let anyone contradict the blue sky Consensus.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

6 months

Ideally, your CEO will have never tweeted the phrase "Aella follows very high scrupulosity discussion norms"

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

6 months

@katiedimartin It's very much of its time; part of the reason it's a classic is bc it codifies what was state of the art at the time. Today, it's just obvious. Things like "spies are important" and "don't wait for fortune tellers to tell you when to attack" were not common sense 2000 years ago!

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

21 days

Ukraine ended its constitutional neutrality in response to a Russian invasion in 2014. It was in the news and everything. I know you know this bc you wrote this in September 2014.

Michael Brendan Dougherty

@michaelbd

23 days

@Bhess I judge by their actions. Yes, when Ukraine was constitutionally neutral, Russia never attacked them. Does that mean relations were always warm. No. Did Russia use coercive diplomacy? Sure did.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

6 months

ABC News

@ABC

6 months

Hamas has claimed responsibility for a shooting at a Jerusalem bus stop that left at least three people dead and 16 others injured Thursday morning. Read more:

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@RiverTamYDN

1 month

CNN: there was an earthquake Fox: there was an earthquake NYT: there was an earthquake WSJ: there was an earthquake Glenn Greenwald: yet another example of the global elite uniparty manufacturing consensus

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

5 months

I don't think "no state is granted a right to exist" is the card the Palestinian people want to play.

Nathan J Robinson

@NathanJRobinson

5 months

Chomsky explains why neither Israel nor any other state has a "right to exist" and it's perfectly reasonable for Palestinians to refuse to recognize such a right

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@RiverTamYDN

2 months

The basic dynamic of The Culture War is that conservatives attacking liberals is almost always considered Punching Up and liberals attacking conservatives is almost always considered Punching Down

sam

@sam_d_1995

2 months

it’s fascinating how normalized right wing media / politicians talking about how crappy American cities is… but everyone would lose their minds if Chris Hayes posted a video of run-down trailer parks captioned “good morning from rural Arkansas”

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

5 months

@waldocalrissian I mean, she's allowed to be a goat farmer

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

9 months

There are gonna be 32 year olds whose only experience voting for President is voting for or against Donald Trump.

seanfucious

@Seanfucious

9 months

6 presidential elections and Trump will have the GOP nominee in 3 of them

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 months

If you work 90 hours a week to make $70K while sitting on $4M capital, you're not just rich, you're also incredibly stupid.

DoubleYikes

@YikesDouble

3 months

@punished_kres @tkay_killa @Edwrds21 @souljagoytellem @himbopresident Quick, do some math for me… if I own approx. 4 million dollars worth of land (a non liquid asset) and work 90 hour weeks to generate roughly $70k take home profit, am I rich?

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

5 months

@JonahDispatch This could all have been avoided if 10 more Senators had the courage to convict him of the insurrection charge in the second impeachment.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

13 days

5yo girl in Montessori: how do you spell daughter I am writing a story about this blue cone who is my daughter and also a unicorn 3yo boy in Montessori: I put these large beads on a string and then started hitting my friends with it like a medieval flail

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

5 months

They're incredibly quiet which is a real surprise. dunno if they're renting or what but I would like them to stick around. Maybe will make a big pot of chicken soup this weekend when it gets cooler.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

1 year

One of the red flags on Crowder's video that people have missed is that when his wife says she'll call a friend to drive her, Crowder asks "is that a threat?" and tells her to get an Uber. The reason is bc an Uber driver won't notice her husband is not letting her drive the car.

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

2 months

i want to die

bowser

@browserdotsys

2 months

buddy i even made it like 20 chapters into the rationalist pokemon fanfic, the twilight one is table stakes

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

4 months

Lmfao

Jules Roscoe

@julesaroscoe

4 months

An NPR reporter was fired over his "offensive" stand-up comedy routines. An arbitrator said, actually, the jokes are funny, and ordered him to be reinstated. A cautionary tale about the boundaries of remote work (and the jokes are pretty good too):

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 months

@buhhhhlieevmeee this is nightmare fuel

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River_Tam

@RiverTamYDN

3 years

If you'd told someone a week ago that Congress was gonna impeach Trump again they'd say yeah that makes sense the Georgia tape is really damning.

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