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Uncle Lucretia

@PhiloeEsq

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rookie financial planner

Bay Street Corridor, Toronto
Joined July 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
5 months
MMXXIV
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 years
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 months
Lmfao… Tinubu was ready to slap that AFCON win on his list of achievements as President but Orunmila was not having it.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 year
If Obi wins his case, court go full throughout him tenure. Nobody will leave anything for God.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 years
You know what’s crazy... he was complaining about the fact that the Nigerian Police officers are underpaid.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
***my wife’s child. Them no dey kill person for my family.
@SirHenry_
all-father
2 years
If your child kills someone, what will you do?
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Uncle Lucretia
2 years
That one is youkay. This is Wakanda.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
Even me wey dey Nigeria, I never see family land collect.
@joshnekoff
josué
2 years
This guy is mad. He wants African Americans to have access to ancestral land in Nigeria????? You dey crase???
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Uncle Lucretia
3 months
I have reason to believe that the way mobile data reads in Nigeria is very very fraudulent.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
Rashford brace tomorrow.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
5 months
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@knightofdelta
The Crypto Warrior
5 months
What do you guys think the delegate list to the COP would have looked like under Peter Obi?
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 months
ECOWAS is almost 50 years old. If there were trains, people would’ve flocked to CIV to watch the game and gone back home right after the match. A fucking useless region spearheaded by an illegitimate country.
@lastuzumakiiii
legit
4 months
Africa too useless See as stadium empty because people from neighbouring countries can't travel freely to host Nation to support their country But u go watch euros every match stadium full cause u fit use bicycle follow Spain enter Portugal with 4 pounds in ur pocket
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Uncle Lucretia
4 years
Nigeria just goes with every Western trend, except economic development.
@Naija_PR
Naija
4 years
Nigeria's 2nd wave of COVID19 is imminent — Health minister, Osagie Ehanire
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Uncle Lucretia
4 months
Nothing you people hate more than a not-rich man being properly loved by his woman. In your brain, he’s not deserving.
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Uncle Lucretia
1 year
LMFAOOO Nigeria defies economics wallahi. We destroyed money, created a scarcity by not printing any, yet inflation dey rise… 😭
@thecableng
TheCable
1 year
BREAKING: Nigeria’s inflation rate rises to 21.91% as cash scarcity persists | TheCable
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 years
e-protesters: Hope you guys are safe ? Lekki & Alausa protesters:
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 years
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@Naija_PR
Naija
3 years
500 jobs could be lost if toll gate is not reopened -- LCC
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 years
A dispatch rider sold my bike, spent the money... then came to tell me that I may not understand, but he knows what he’s doing.
@Oli_Ekun
ÀGBÀ
3 years
What's the wildest thing your eyes have seen in Lagos?
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Uncle Lucretia
4 years
Lmao... Sanwoolu didn’t attend to the protesters outside the State House, but went to meet Lekki protesters because of Tinubu’s tollgate.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
8 months
Yoruba people funny die. See as them wan use greeting kill each other.
@itzbasito
BASITO
8 months
Iyabo Ojo visits the family of DJ Splash, the ex Marlian Record signee that is currently mentally unstable ❤️
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 years
Blood of Jesus might finish this week. Insha Allah is already remaining 10kg.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 month
Band Y
@Dxpo_
Dapo
1 month
They brought the light and took it back in two minutes. Whyyyyyyyyyyyy 😭😭
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 years
“Hello Hello, I have cut the liver. I can’t hear you again.” “I didn’t say liver. I asked if the phone is on loudspeaker.” “Ah”
@seunosewa
Seun Osewa 🇳🇬
3 years
Why is Nigerian Twitter acting as if telemedicine isn't a thing? I don't get it. Of course you can train doctors remotely. You can even conduct surgeries remotely. A senior surgeon in New York can guide a junior surgeon in Lagos through a complicated surgery using a video link.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 months
So ponmo is really seafood ?
@gunsnrosesgirl3
Science girl
2 months
Cattle swim to the Iniskea Islands off the coast of Belmullet to graze 📹 midge6820
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
6 months
The sachetization of IELTS.
@ronkeaa
Ibironke
6 months
IELTS now allowing people retake one section they didn’t do well is great development.
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Uncle Lucretia
2 months
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@bakrnings
𝘒𝘢𝘱𝘪𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘯
2 months
were you there?
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
6 months
Can’t believe you guys try to toast women and the first thing you mention is your salary. Na player you wan sign ?
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 years
Goodluck to all the random soldiers that have beef with their superiors in Bonny Camp.
@SaharaReporters
Sahara Reporters
4 years
Lekki: Soldiers Who Shot Protesters Must Face The Law, US Officials Tell @ProfOsinbajo | Sahara Reporters #EndSARS #LekkiMassacre
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 year
Even if you try to forget how this episode started, I will continue reminding you.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 years
e.g. when you refuse to give them bribe. Policeman: He threatened my life with poverty.
@channelstv
Channels Television
4 years
Use Your Firearms When Your Life Is In Danger - IGP Tells Officers
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 years
Was probably Segalink using his burner to toast Tife. I can’t point at a single Nigerian man that would say “demystify”, except one who calls everyone “distinguished”.
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Uncle Lucretia
3 years
Lecturer wants a handwritten paper for a virtual class but wouldn’t accept scanned copies... so I have to send a dispatch rider to deliver assignment, lmao. Unilag is gutter level.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 year
They built this bridge in 3 years, lmao. Some people are asking you to be thankful for a 2nd Niger Bridge that isn’t even up to 1/4 the length of this, and has been coming since 1987.
@AfricaFactsZone
Africa Facts Zone
1 year
Pokuase Interchange in Accra, Ghana is Africa's second four-tier interchange.
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Uncle Lucretia
3 years
Your wife is in fact more intentional family because you chose her. She becomes your nuclear family, and your family of birth now becomes extended. You didn’t just wake up one day and discover you had a wife.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 year
Okada ban wasn’t a failure. Data showed that more Lagosians took to walking, accounting for an uptick in fitness.
@olumidecapital
Olumide Adesina
1 year
CBN cashless policy is not a failure, data shows an huge uptick on mobile transactions
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 months
49 Senior Advocates of the Nigerian Bar stood in court to defend a stolen mandate, lmao. Hungry pigs.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 years
Who do us this thing ?
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
An unreal generation.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 years
Na police dey supervise illegal driving.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 years
Apparently, mumsy been no sabi as SARS dey go. Showed her a couple of their videos and what they’ve been up to & stories of my personal experiences... and she froze at the dining table. Let your parents know why you’re raging. Let them know they’ve almost lost you SEVERALLY.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 months
Lol… if a natural disaster rocked the entire Nigeria, the senate will use your money to relocate abroad and ask you if you expect them to make laws inside chaos.
@OluwaSnowMan
Tesla Kid
4 months
Just imagine if we were a country where natural disasters occur, just see how royally screwed we would have been. What we escaped in earthquakes and the likes we got in Nigerian politicians, they are our natural DISASTERS.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 year
A thief steals from you, but you’re giving him kudos because he didn’t steal alone but decided to do it with his friends. Oponu.
@callmee4pf
HIM $BEYOND $MOJO
1 year
Bro put all his niggas on. Respect that👏🏽
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 months
Them dey call your President “Jagaban”, una think say na nickname.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
5 months
LMFAOOOOO I swear I thought this was Mushin 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Could’ve sworn the caption was bait 😭
@RadioGenoa
RadioGenoa
5 months
Paris has lost its identity.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
29 days
Simple shit like this takes at least 300 flatbed trucks off the road and reduces the risk of them falling on anybody’s car.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 years
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
8 months
If I thief from all of una finish, I go come back create my own currency. If I been dey owe you £1500, I now owe you 1500philoe… but you can only spend the money between one philistine and another.
@Biodunn_
Daddy B 🐅.
8 months
Lmao I need someone to explain Patricia issue to me like I’m 2 years old please 😭😭
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
Titty Tuesday was a product of welfarism. The benevolence of the endowed upon the underprivileged at their mercy. Onlyfans came, and capitalism denied us these little perks because we couldn’t afford it. These are the issues with privatisation.
@GoRilla_IX9
Mister Maazi
2 years
Somebody should post breast or something, you guys are fighting too much and elections still far
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
7 months
It starts from not being able to object to what people do or say because they might be your helper.
@Cerebrone
xy
7 months
Nigeria has a HUGE sycophancy problem.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 months
Every year, Nigerians are updating NIN, BVN, or PVC. Every fucking year.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 months
Allow women take responsibility for their actions. Let them be accountable in the mighty name of Jesus.
@ugwumcee
UG
4 months
It's so terrible that even the alleged best of Nigeria's options are terrible individuals. How is anyone supposed to believe that GRV is a great person, if this is how his closest confidante deals with people?
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 years
Short people drive your car once, and you come back to meet the driver’s seat on the dashboard.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 years
Lmao, this man keeps wasting stolen resources on building houses that end up looking like him.
@Tutsy22
Adetutu Balogun, MBA
4 years
Aerial view of Asiwaju Tinubus mansion on Queens drive Ikoyi... 😑
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Uncle Lucretia
2 months
Nigerian Customs Officers are not filthy rich by coincidence. Crazy that besides taking seized goods for pittance, and the extortion + bribery, they’re also the biggest smugglers in the country. Reminds me of a certain Alhaji who mysteriously became a big boy in politics.
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Uncle Lucretia
1 year
From the political party that brought you “Wind your windows up in traffic”.
@channelstv
Channels Television
1 year
Sudan Crisis: FG Asks Nigerian Students To Stay Indoors
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Uncle Lucretia
1 month
You will do road worthiness checks for your solid cars every year, but danfo buses that carry 4x more passengers and do 20-30x your mileage do not need checks because the NURTW is pertinent to the rogue architecture. It’s your Toyota Yaris that is a danger to the public.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 year
Nobody ask this one when Saka dey score 2 vs Iran o. E reach my turn to eat, boys dey investigate.
@Easyy_
Sunset
1 year
Is England doing great or is Wales just really bad?
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Uncle Lucretia
4 years
Yeap. He was 32 when he became Head of State. A man guilty of treason, war crimes, and genocide has managed to live another 50+ years without being held accountable for anything.
@vughnn
v
4 years
Wait yakubu Gowon the same one we learnt about in government during high school is still alive?? Wow
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
9 months
Getting married to a trust fund kid so you can stay in one of her father’s empty houses >>>
@AN0WA
my Father, my God, Untrench meeeee
9 months
getting married so you only pay half of the rent >>>>>>
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Uncle Lucretia
2 years
Hmmmmm. I’m sure some people are unaccounted for sha, like the women racking 30k daily from their Akara business at Iwo Road.
@Hitee_
Apostle Jake
2 years
Over 92% of Nigerians earn less than 60k a month - NBS,2022
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Uncle Lucretia
1 year
I hope they takeover. Need that Omo Onile + informal tax sauce to hit the FCT, let’s feel the success of Lagos.
@inc051
Baba | @ricyofficial
1 year
The agbero in Abuja is increasing. 😩
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
You people that are vexing for $1,000 exclusive restaurants can see how it feels when we’re complaining about 15k chapman and you people will be telling us to go and drink Smoov if we don’t have money. You too, go and eat Pasta 👍🏽
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 years
Idk how you’ve watched UCL this season and thought Ronaldo assisted thrice when Bruno has 4. We’ve not even scored up to 7 goals 😂😂😂
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 months
Can’t import, can’t export… lmao. Right beside the Atlantic. It’s insane.
@babaj1de
Raq & Ash
3 months
Nigeria is primarily a trading country. Everything the government does is to stop trading. Is it a curse?
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Uncle Lucretia
4 months
We’re so obsessed with the performance of respect, lmao. Don’t go and battle inflation.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
10 days
Oh Lord, I pity this fool with the red cap on. The face of a trillion Naira and a multi-billion Dollar scandal, and he’s made himself a willing tool.
@lailajohnsonsal
Laila Johnson-Salami
10 days
Ongoing stakeholders meeting regarding the Lagos to Calabar coastal road. There have been changes to the alignment of the road. More details to follow.
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Uncle Lucretia
3 years
Sanwoolu will soon come out and say he has no knowledge of what is going on. Thankfully we can see LASG Taskforce and RRS vests. Everybody don dey manifest.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
6 years
Sorry. ***Lukaku goes over the bar.
@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
6 years
Kane, Suarez and Lukaku walk into a bar...
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Uncle Lucretia
2 years
The competition for the daftest Segun in Nigeria has entered penalty shootout between him and Segalink.
@Seyi__
Senior Man
2 years
My TL is full of Sheggz. The guy must have said many nonsense.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
E dey follow us cry EndSARS and commissioner dey him WhatsApp. I hate this place 😂😂😂😂
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 month
@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 month
Tears in my eyes. Recruiter don send message. I no know whether na unfortunately. Make I chop well today first.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
Oriola during lunch break.
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@LordOreos_
Mufu Montana
2 years
I was in primary school in 2007. Una old o
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
13 days
Nobody in this life can guilt trip me into rallying behind BAT. It would have to be at gunpoint. If you like, rationalise from today till I die.
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Uncle Lucretia
1 year
Lol… what do you guys really have against Gbadebo Rhodes-Vivour ? Asking because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with his constant audible criticism of LASG.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
Passed Oshodi yesterday, and I think that bus terminal Ambode built was a deliberate legacy. Had nothing to do with development. He just raised a gigantic structure there, so if you ever try to say he didn’t do infrastructure, you’re reminded on your way to the airport.
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Uncle Lucretia
4 months
People really expected much from Tinubu because he had stolen enough to know people in high places and own a house in elite areas. People just believed there was something magical about him 🤣🤣🤣🤣. All he does is steal 😭. He doesn’t have any answer to anything, baba mi.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
27 days
LMFAOOO “Help us beat Liverpool” like say dem go win their own match.
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Uncle Lucretia
4 years
Lmao you people lie alot... small N3,000 data you buy and you want to kill Airtel when network no dey... You’ll pay $21,000 for someone to get A in Music ? God go punish Beethoven
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
Genuinely feel bad for Chief Obafemi. Imagine resting in peace, and you’re woken up by the stench of Portable’s buttocks.
@BodeThomas_
Brasco.
2 years
This is enough to make you lose.
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Uncle Lucretia
5 months
In the face-off between tech boys, IJGBs, KPMG boys, Finance and Oil money boys… the people that will enjoy might ultimately be unemployed even. Fooling of the year.
@foreverdeb_
debss. ‎ᥫ᭡
5 months
The second batch of ijgb are coming in this week, apply pressure in your relationships o, this set coming in aren’t here to play.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 years
Just want to let you guys know that I called 767 (whoever picked said Welcome to 112 emergency), and after lodging the complaint of houses being broken into and people being abducted in police vehicles, the call centre agent laughed about it He laughed. I’m so fucking stressed
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 year
1. Don’t poshu women. 2. No let women poshu you. 3. Save first, spend later. 4. There’s no need to impress anyone. 5. Money isn’t always the answer. 6. Buy original/durable and use stuff properly, then you’d not always have to replace it. 7. There’s always rice at home.
@eldivyn
-valar morghulis-
1 year
Hi guys. Please what are some cost saving techniques that have worked for you SPECIFICALLY in Nigeria? I wanna retweet for those who might need it. One example: drive a Toyota. It's almost going to be the cheapest to fuel and maintain in the long run.
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Uncle Lucretia
3 months
With 2.5m/month you should have a line of credit at your neighbourhood filling station, or have their manager on your payroll. No need to queue.
@instablog9ja
Instablog9ja
3 months
Fuel scarcity reportedly hits Lagos as long queues resurfaces at Filling Stations
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
4 years
So all the smiling pictures you people take at restaurants... una dey disguise. 😂😂😂
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Uncle Lucretia
1 year
Just been to that NGO’s Instagram, and I don’t think they know what they’re doing 💀. Advocating for climate justice by sharing food in Makoko and talking about people who can’t afford to eat daily, just sounds like confusion to me.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 years
Dangote that can’t compete. When Arsenal want to buy Jack Grealish and Villa say they won’t sell for less than £100m, he will go and report them to the Federal Government.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
Respect this album and leave it alone.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 months
It’s because there wasn’t social media when he was a governor. His style of administration by misinformation and propaganda is casting big time.
@novieverest
DISTINGUISHED KPMG LinkedIn Everest
2 months
Bayo Onanuga posted it, Bayo Onanuga denied it. Propaganda >>>> Governance.
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Uncle Lucretia
1 year
Right. You can tell the man is tired and doesn’t want to be stressed by anything, but give him the Presidency. If social media is stressing you this much, how do you plan to handle Nigeria ?
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
13 days
Next up: “It doesn’t matter how elections are won, as long as you can deliver.”
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 year
APC “Estate boys” have scattered my PU… by throwing broken bottles & pouring ‘werepe’ water on people. I haven’t voted, and won’t be voting. It was fun while it lasted.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
5 years
“It’s 6.30 am here in Los Angeles”
Baba has spoken #WoleSoyinka
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
Leave relationships alone and develop your fucking life.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 years
Just like the rest of us.
@Naija_PR
Naija
3 years
The pigeons could not fly on Armed Forces Remembrance Day because they have been kept in the cage for a very long time — Femi Adesina
Tweet media one
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 year
Inflation and “cash scarcity” in the same sentence. Warra paradoxical quagmire.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 years
Sanwoolu is audacious. Enabling SMEs by suffocating Gokada & co. Then congratulating the same Flutterwave they smoked during the EndSARS protests. You just know when Jagss is tweeting.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 year
A better man than we deserve. The sarcasm, there… a trader has done his bit, let the Professor of Economics take over from where he stopped. Result go show, 2025.
@Spotlight_Abby
Spotlight Abby
1 year
At the LBS conference today, they asked Peter Obi to react to Soludo's comments, you need to listen to it yourself. If it GRACE, it doesn't need your permission. Peter Obi has GRACE!
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Uncle Lucretia
3 months
Lmfaooo see what Nigerians are listening to in church after Monday to Saturday of wailing and intense weeping.
@channelstv
Channels Television
3 months
I Don’t Know Who Can Challenge Us In 2027, Says Wike #ChannelsTVNews
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 months
Cardoso and Uncle Wale are first generation BAT boys, btw. Set awon Yemi. Technocrat by thankyoudaddy.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
3 months
Lmao, at least if they say it and the common man believes it, he can hate his neighbours family whose child travelled recently because they are the cause of their misfortune.
@Em3kaE
E
3 months
How many students that travelled were able to source Dollars with Form-A? Wrong diagnosis leads to wrong solution. We will be here.
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@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
1 year
@PhiloeEsq
Uncle Lucretia
2 years
Rashford 30 goals next season.
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