Oonagh @Okeating Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Oonagh

5 years

Psycho (1960): Hitchcock's brooding thriller about an absolute psycho who stands under the shower and switches it on without sticking a hand in first to test the temperature. *****

26

625

2K

Last Seen Profiles

@xtinahigh

@sra_millenial

@etham0720

@FapForMilfs69

@Pecintastw4050

@RiddleMeCam

@gkgkkarac

@lovsapples

@JustMe_XRiXtina

@thexmaniac

@WadeCallaway

@ritoukitaiwan

@_liljayyg

@seekyreeky80219

@Jazmin_Minua

@paddygibson

@Georgemonokrou2

@Uniq_Arts254

@Gaytopbandung

@Spaio_Hiroaki

@indigosu73

@Gaytopbandung

@itgirlsINC

@pucchhhhh

@jackassworld

@SamLeakss

@jungkooke

@oduspirano

@LLsongOTD

@timbudgen

@Spectre799games

@DahelOceana

@Antalyitiraf_

@rafalklajn

@sahib_sahiba

@1ydr_

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

Live footage of Boris Johnson doing everything he could.

147

9K

51K

Oonagh

@Okeating

6 years

Here's a handy diagram to help women choose the right style for their shape.

189

29K

42K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

This is not just any gaslighting. This is Mark Spencer gaslighting.

728

5K

35K

Oonagh

@Okeating

6 years

I find it hard to believe Donald Trump had to keep a child secret and he didn't choose Eric.

440

6K

32K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 months

"And then someone noticed the wee one's sleeve looked like her skirt. Or was it the other way around? Sure, there was some red ...and some tartan ...and they weren't at all how they were supposed to be. And I says to meself "Colm, yon's a wee bit suspicious." Then AP said ..."

68

3K

26K

Oonagh

@Okeating

1 month

Did a survey.

11

1K

23K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

Bob Marley's difficult follow-up single.

64

2K

16K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

Laurence Fox is to the world of politics what Laurence Fox is to the world of acting.

241

1K

15K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 months

"And I'll tell you another thing - they always make it rain when I'm having a barbecue."

77

766

15K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

"So, tell me, Gina - what was it that first attracted you to the boring man with the power to grant lucrative contracts to your husband and brother?"

39

2K

14K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

When you say you're hungry and your mum says "Have a piece of fruit."

113

1K

13K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

Prince Charles has got coronavirus, which confirms that it's heirborn. Don't @ me.

113

1K

10K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

December 1941, Pearl Harbor. Laura Kuenssberg: It looks like the Japanese have a bit of a bee in their bonnets.

Laura Kuenssberg

@bbclaurak

3 years

Looks like scuffles inside the Capitol

6K

261

1K

48

1K

10K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

Let's all pause for a moment to appreciate Grant Shapps going in hard on this spectacular self-own. #ToryChaos #RMTSolidarity #BBCBreakfast

341

2K

10K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

"It's un-British to tell people to wear masks." say people who would burn your house down in a heartbeat if you refused to wear a poppy.

76

2K

10K

Oonagh

@Okeating

7 years

#Eurovision Harsh, but fair.

91

7K

9K

Oonagh

@Okeating

5 years

Random men on the internet coming to tell women why they're wrong.

134

1K

9K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

O, the Grand Old Duke of York, He claimed he couldn't sweat. Lawyers asked for proof that it was the truth, But he hasn't found it yet. And when he was up he was up. And when he was down he was down. And when he was 'in the pizza shop' There was 'no-one else around'.

41

1K

8K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

Tory leadership challenge top contenders: Priti Patel 12 - 1 Jeremy Hunt 8 - 1 Rishi Sunak 8 - 1 Michael Gove 10 - 1 The Omicron Variant 3 - 1 Lord Voldemort 4 - 1 Three rabid badgers in an overcoat 5 - 1

382

1K

8K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

They've spelt "coronavirus" wrong.

52

1K

8K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

Same energy.

53

451

7K

Oonagh

@Okeating

5 years

I can't do Veganuary, but I'm fully signed up for Flabuary, Starch and Cakepril.

83

2K

7K

Oonagh

@Okeating

1 year

The fact that Nadine Dorries grew up in poverty doesn't make me think she deserves a peerage. It just makes it all the more disgusting that she voted against feeding poor kids.

47

996

7K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

Hands up if you aren't surprised at the Daily Mail thinking human faces come with a pointy white hood.

54

574

6K

Oonagh

@Okeating

17 days

"Tell me, Nigel, what was it about your seven previous attempts to become an MP that made you decide not to take part in the upcoming general election?"

10

673

5K

Oonagh

@Okeating

14 days

Rishi Sunak reveals his new Director of Policy.

32

300

5K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

One of those paradoxical occasions when both parties are tarnished by the association. #UKIP

231

337

5K

Oonagh

@Okeating

6 years

I heard Bill Gates liked Elon Musk so much he wanted to name a kid after him, but I think that'd be stretching it a bit.

120

1K

5K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

History will judge this government very harshly, but I'd rather a judge did it.

15

529

5K

Oonagh

@Okeating

5 years

@goddersbloom Violent tendencies, misogyny, jealousy and strong feelings of inadequacy would be my guess.

23

165

4K

Oonagh

@Okeating

5 months

Washing machine: This'll be done in three minutes. (Three minutes later) Washing machine: Yeah, nearly done. Three minutes. (Five minutes later) Washing machine: Lol. You're never going to believe this ...

40

188

4K

Oonagh

@Okeating

9 years

North West residents warned to boil water after parasite contaminates supply. http://t.co/acw0l0vEEK

107

5K

4K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

For a moment, I thought the dystopia had ramped up considerably.

30

717

4K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

Government: All children have to go back to school in September or their parents will be fined. Civil servant: Shall I confirm the venue for the conference? Government: GOOD GOD, NO!

HuffPost UK

@HuffPostUK

4 years

BREAKING: Tory conference cancelled and replaced by virtual event due to coronavirus crisis

204

128

156

14

1K

4K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 months

Or - hear me out - too much cheese.

17

80

4K

Oonagh

@Okeating

7 years

Frankly, I'm surprised Paul Merton would get involved with this lot, let alone lead them.

76

1K

4K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

Ministers: The liberal elite think Brexiters are too stupid to know what they voted for. Also ministers:

18

369

4K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

How it started. How it's going. #Brexit

27

606

4K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

Funny how the "silent majority" never seem to shut the fuck up.

8

206

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

5 years

Because they were in Stranger Things 1 and 2?

13

253

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

If they didn't arrest Andrew Lloyd-Webber over Starlight Express, I doubt they'll take him in for breaking covid regulations.

30

223

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

Please, please, please, please, please...

40

190

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

Craig David's difficult follow-up single.

16

476

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

8 years

I could have sworn I had some Supernoodles in here.

74

1K

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

Is anyone else having trouble with their Twitter? Mine's stopping me from doing the housework or valuing real-world relationships.

47

394

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

6 years

Morrissey is a lot like the chocolate in your grandma's cupboard. It might have been alright in the 80s but these days it's toxic, tasteless and whiter than it should be.

48

606

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

17 days

"I once got so excited that inflation had dropped slightly that I called a general election."

2

160

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

1 year

Camilla will wear a tiara inlaid with teeth from the Loch Ness monster.

92

322

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

10 months

He's not 'unwell'. He's not 'provocative'. He's a thick, racist, attention-seeking twat. Don't link to his fuckwittery. Report him. If you don't know what I'm talking about, congratulations. You've managed your twitter feed beautifully.

94

61

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 months

*Stares in World War I*

42

141

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

SHAFT!

53

299

3K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

Boris Johnson is one melodramatic revelation away from being the biggest story on the front of Take-A-Break.

24

261

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

Thank fuck for that. I thought for one horrible moment their priorities might have been skewed by rising child poverty, the collapse of the economy and a deadly pandemic

Lucy Fisher

@LOS_Fisher

2 years

🍾 Excl: Govt is set to bring back the pint bottle of champagne Ministers plan to repeal unwanted EU 'hangover law', under which pint bottles of wine have been banned since 1973 Churchill branded it an “ideal size... enough for 2 at lunch & 1 at dinner”

2K

326

2K

22

309

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

7 years

The man who invented Parcelforce has died. His funeral will be held on Thursday between 7am and 6pm.

98

905

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

The BBC just described Tories scooping up the UKIP and BXP votes as a coalition of the centre right. The centre right. The CENTRE right. #ElectionResults2021

57

293

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

5 years

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Give a man a salmon cannon, and he'll probably at least consider sticking his dick in it.

30

219

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

5 years

The referendum was advisory.

Eric Alper 🎧

@ThatEricAlper

5 years

What's the most useless fact you know?

539

54

305

14

437

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

5 years

If Coldplay want to be Green when playing Yellow, they should get Blue to join them.

48

295

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

5 years

I can't help feeling there'd be a lot less trouble in the world if people simply refused to hold anyone's beer.

25

422

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

6 years

My husband complained that I never do a Sunday roast so I've spent the last hour writing jokes about his bald spot, his skinny legs and the fact that he can't grow a beard.

38

371

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

Imagine how peaceful it would be if all the people claiming they were silenced actually had been.

11

315

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

For a man with access to such a lot of dirt-removing technology, Sir James Dyson is incredibly full of shit.

17

168

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

10 years

Liar Liar Liar liar Liar liar liar Liar liar liar liar liar Liar liar liar liar liar liar liar liar Fibbernacci

56

1K

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

Quelle fucking surprise!

27

46

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

7 years

Thank God they explained it.

62

527

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

5 years

What idiot called it Brexit instead of The Great British Break Off?

18

293

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

That awkward moment when you type w instead of s.

New York Post

@nypost

2 years

Comedian Tyler Fischer claims he was rejected by agent for being white

227

36

272

6

45

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

9 years

Ever wondered what those engine management lights mean? http://t.co/xquTMlr09G

74

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

Enid Blyton first drafts.

35

189

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

Typos can be expensive. One time, I accidentally wrote myself a to-to list and ended up having to bless the rains down in Africa.

24

298

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

6 years

Trump: Stormy said I do it like a champion. Stormy: I said "champignon".

30

273

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

5 years

Later that day, Gerald was declared fit for work.

Dr. Shadowgazer

@DShadowgazer

5 years

Caption contest!

393

72

347

16

264

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

@richardosman You can't dip a monkey in your tea, Richard. Certainly not twice.

19

13

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

21 days

This you?

Anthony Mangnall

@AnthonyMangnal1

24 days

South West Water’s response in Brixham needs to be faster. Residents should not have to be going without safe drinking water. I hope to see the system back up and running shortly & the compensation level increased beyond the current £15.

70

7

22

9

249

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

"I wish to register a complaint." #DominicCummings

22

453

2K

Oonagh

@Okeating

8 years

Does anyone want to be represented by an MEP with a poor grasp of the English language?

82

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

"Actually, the tick is white."

17

112

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

@TheJeremyHaynes Firstly, Jeremy, for some, quarantine means less free time, not more. Secondly, the high stress many are experiencing is a barrier to achievement; nobody's writing a bestseller while they worry about the family they can't see or the growing rent arrears. Don't make it worse.

7

38

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

Another impossible beauty standard for women. 📸 Insta. le_petitrouge

37

148

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

I'm not going to wait for the scientists to declare masks unnecessary. Going to ditch mine now on the say-so of *checks notes* a woman who was ordered to stop pretending to be a doctor and is famous for rummaging through poo. #TakeOffYourMask

44

156

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

@JimMFelton I thought it was one of those 'me in March 2020, me in March 2021' tweets.

6

16

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

9 years

I didn't take my husband's name when I got married. I figured it'd be confusing if we were both called Keith.

24

655

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

Density's Child.

Otto Von Jizzmark

@Ottojizzmark

2 years

Name the Band.

2K

89

390

168

81

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

#PritiPatel

6

140

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

6 years

Imagine doing something so racist that the Daily Mail thinks you've gone too far.

37

543

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

9 months

"Why the fuck haven't you thanked Gillian Keegan?"

9

178

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

6 years

Alphabetti Spaghetti makes a handy ouija board for contacting people who've pasta way.

23

314

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

6 years

I expect they'll be eaten by wolves or something. Or, there's an outside chance their dad will look after them. Probably the wolf thing, though.

23

284

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 months

'Male journalists stop writing everything that comes into your head' challenge.

46

105

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

7 years

I turned my phone to airplane mode and now it keeps calling me Shirley.

41

456

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

2 years

Doctor Who team casts a woman. Gammon Central: The Doctor is a man. Doctor Who team casts a man. Gammon Central: Not like that.

15

135

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

@Home_Halfway "We're going to need a smaller shark." - Jaws.

11

22

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

The word "may" is doing some heavy lifting.

Military.com

@Militarydotcom

4 years

Iran May Have a Fleet of Communist Killer Dolphins

1K

3K

8K

20

139

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

8 years

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope!

18

714

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

Unlike all the other Royals, who *checks notes* got born.

Daily Express

@Daily_Express

4 years

Meghan Markle fury: Duchess should be STRIPPED of royal titles – ‘Done NOTHING to earn it’

3K

197

2K

10

108

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

3 years

@AJRichardsonMP @mrjamesob If you didn't mean the famous James O'brien, why would you write 'many of you knew that already'? How are people supposed to have known about this other James O'Brien?

31

57

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

4 years

Look Who's Talking Shit

Kirstie Alley

@kirstiealley

4 years

I’m voting for @realDonaldTrump because he’s NOT a politician. I voted for him 4 years ago for this reason and shall vote for him again for this reason. He gets things done quickly and he will turn the economy around quickly. There you have it folks there you have it🙄

87K

33K

188K

12

62

1K

Oonagh

@Okeating

6 years

When you get held back so many times they stop making the uniform in your size.

18

372

1K