Otto Von Jizzmark @Ottojizzmark Twitter profile | Pikagi

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Otto Von Jizzmark

@Ottojizzmark

40,665

Followers

23,254

Following

1,638

Media

3,250

Statuses

filthy remainer.

Joined April 2020

Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

GREAT NEWS My campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing any upset to the Conservatives has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @Conservatives so they can see how well we're doing. Thank you.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

If you need an inquiry to find out if you attended a party in your own house you probably shouldn't have access to nuclear weapons.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

The chancellor of a country that has over 2200 food banks is spending tax payers money on an enquiry to find out who upset his tax avoiding wife.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

If you want to see how quickly the conservatives can impose sanctions just go to the job centre five minutes late.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

"Police, what's your emergency?" "I'd like to report a burglary" "When did it happen?" "Next Thursday"

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

The Foreign Secretary of a country with over 2000 food banks has spent £1,400 on her lunch.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

The Foreign Secretary of a country with over 2000 food banks has spent £500,000 of taxpayers money on a private jet.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

A man who needed an inquiry to find out if he attended a party in his own house has asked the public to take more personal responsibility.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

A country with more than 1,300 food banks is considering building a £200 million Royal Yacht.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

GREAT NEWS My ongoing campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing any upset to Boris Johnson has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @BorisJohnson so he can see how well we're doing. Thank you.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

The Chancellor of a country that has over 2000 food banks and 5 million children living in poverty has reduced the price of Champagne.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

GREAT NEWS My campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing upset to the Conservatives has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @Conservatives so they can see how well we're doing. Thank you. #marr

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

If you aren't capable of noticing 40 to 50 people having a Christmas party in your house you probably shouldn't have access to nuclear codes.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

Only 0.7% of the British population are millionaires. 78% of all MPs are millionaires. So who does 'Representative Democracy' Represent ?

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

"I paid my gas bill now I have a warm place to starve to death"

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

Man who failed to notice fifty people having a Christmas party in his own house is distracted by legs.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

A country with more than 1,300 food banks is building a £250 million Royal Yacht and teaching kids Latin.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

11 months

GREAT NEWS My campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this partygate clip and causing any upset to the Conservatives has made great progress I'm now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @Conservatives so they can see how well we're doing Thanks

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

If only the protective ring thrown around care homes had matched the one thrown around Owen Paterson.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

A government that tried to make it illegal for the RNLI to save drowning migrants are shocked and saddened by migrants drowning.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

1 year

Dear @Conservatives Steve Barclay has stated this morning that "Boris Johnson built 40 new hospitals" please could you confirm the exact locations of the 40 new hospitals, the planned completion dates and your definition of "new hospitals" Yours faithfully A Taxpayer.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

GREAT NEWS My ongoing campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing upset to Gove has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @michaelgove so he can see how well we're doing. Thank you. #bbcqt

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

1983 British Gas is not for sale Thatcher 1992 British Rail is not for sale Major 2010 Royal Mail is not for sale Cameron 2019 The NHS is not for sale Johnson Never trust a Tory.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

Tories should wear sponsor shirts like footballers so we know who owns them.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

The Chancellor of a country that has over 2200 food banks has spent £500,000 of taxpayers money on focus groups to repair his image.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

The prime minister of a country with over 2200 food banks planned to build his son a £150,000 tree house.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

"Ok let's try again. If I have trade deals with 27 of my closest neighbours worth £670 billion a year then I give away all 27 deals and send a retired cricketer with absolute zero experience of being a trade envoy to a country 10,000 miles to search for new deals what do I have?"

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

GREAT NEWS My ongoing campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing any upset to Jacob Rees-Mogg has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @Jacob_Rees_Mogg so he can see how well we're doing. Thanks

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

No tax rises - Lie £350 million for the NHS - Lie 40 new hospitals - Lie Pensions triple locked - Lie Food will be cheaper - Lie No barriers to trade - Lie Manufacturing safe - Lie No regression on rights - Lie Cheaper energy bills - Lie NHS not for sale - Lie #JohnsonOut

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

Great Britain a country where it's cheaper to buy a conservative MP than a gallon of diesel.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

The prime minister of a country with over 2000 food banks is spending money on internet adverts featuring himself eating.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

Imagine swapping a passport that allowed you to live, work and retire in 27 other countries for this shit.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

"Everybody get in the water!"

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

Turkey joining EU - Lie food will be cheaper - Lie no barriers to trade - Lie manufacturing safe - Lie £350 million for the NHS - Lie no regression on rights - Lie no food shortages - Lie no tax rises - Lie pensions triple locked - Lie 40 new hospitals - Lie #JohnsonOut

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

Dear @trussliz Everyone who retweets this, wants you to resign immediately. Yours sincerely Sane people.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

The UK, the only country in the world suffering food shortages because it got tricked by a bus.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

GREAT NEWS My ongoing campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing upset to Johnson has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @BorisJohnson so he can see how well we're doing Thank you #johnsonout

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

GREAT NEWS My ongoing campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing any upset to Boris Johnson has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @BorisJohnson so he can see how well we're doing. Thank you.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

No tax rises - Lie £350 million for the NHS - Lie 40 new hospitals - Lie Pensions triple locked - Lie Food will be cheaper - Lie Erasmus safe - Lie No barriers to trade - Lie Manufacturing safe - Lie No regression on rights - Lie No Irish border - Lie #JohnsonOut

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

The human brain is an amazing organ. It keeps working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. From before you leave the womb, right up until you vote @Conservatives

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

GREAT NEWS My ongoing campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing any upset to Johnson has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @BorisJohnson so he can see how well we're doing. Thank you #bbcqt

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

No tax rises - Lie £350 million for the NHS - Lie 40 new hospitals - Lie Pensions triple locked - Lie Food will be cheaper - Lie No barriers to trade - Lie Manufacturing safe - Lie No regression on rights - Lie No Irish border - Lie Northern Powerhouse Rail - Lie #JohnsonOut

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Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

"So how did you distract them from the health care bill?" *I pretended I was a car and said I went to Peppa Pig World" "Nice!"

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

The fifth richest country in the world has more than 1,300 food banks over 15 million people living in poverty and is having its food delivered by the army.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

If only the government took cladding on tower blocks as seriously as flags on public buildings.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

The human body has 7 trillion nerves and Liz Truss manages to get on every single one of them.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

"Get your trousers on, you've got a questionnaire to fill in"

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

A blue whale poo can weigh as much as 4 tonnes making it the second largest pile of shit in the world just behind the Conservatives. #bbcqt

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

The man who gave £90m of tax payers money to a Chinese firm listed at a non-existent hotel room in Beijing, £30m to his neighbour whilst cheating on his wife with a taxpayer funded aide during a pandemic that left over 200,000 dead is being paid £400k to appear on I'm a celebrity

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

A government that's asking its poorest to pay £5 billion more for healthcare is building a £205 billion submarine a £100 billion rail line a £250 million royal yacht.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

When a Conservative says We must learn to live with covid what they really mean is You must be willing to die for capitalism.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

GREAT NEWS My ongoing campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing upset to the Conservatives has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @Conservatives so they can see how well we're doing. Thank you

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

The government of a country that has over 2200 food banks has decided its main priority should be selling Channel 4.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

1 year

GREAT NEWS My campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this clip and causing any upset to Suella Braverman has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @SuellaBraverman so she can see how well we're doing. Thank you.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

"Ok let's try again. If we have a pandemic with 162,620 dead 50,000 new infections and 200 deaths a day then I remove all restrictions and put a merchant banker in charge of the health service and his best advice is to 'open a window' what do we have?"

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

4 years

Please don't retweet this #Ridge #marr

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

"I've spoken with the shark and it's agreed not to attack until Tuesday"

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

Dear @Conservatives I am considering buying one of your MPs as a Christmas gift for my nan could you please send me your latest catalogue and price list. Kind regards

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Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

The government of a country that has over 2200 food banks plans to purchase a £20 million party house in New York in a bid to improve the entertaining capabilities of British diplomats.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

UK holds all the cards - Lie Easiest trade deal ever - Lie Food will be cheaper - Lie No barriers to trade - Lie Manufacturing safe - Lie £350 million for the NHS - Lie No regression on rights - Lie No loss of opportunity for our young to study/work in the EU - Lie #JohnsonOut

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

Priti Patel. You either loathe her or you hate her.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

It's a shame the Conservatives weren't checking IDs when they handed out £5.8 Billion of tax payers money in fraudulent covid loans.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

A blue whales poo can weigh as much as 4 tonnes making it the second largest pile of shit in the world just behind the Tories.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

Things the Tories have closed. 1,189 Sure start centres 100 NHS walk in centres 600 Police stations 675 Libraries 760 Youth centres 470 Schools 50 Fire stations 433 HMRC tax offices 100 Job centres The sea

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

UK holds all the cards - Lie Easiest trade deal ever - Lie Food will be cheaper - Lie No Barriers To Trade - Lie Manufacturing safe - Lie £350 million for the NHS - Lie No forms, no checks, no barriers - Lie No Regression On Rights - Lie

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Otto Von Jizzmark

1 year

GREAT NEWS My campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing any upset to Therese Coffey has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @theresecoffey so she can see how well we're doing. Thank you.

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3 years

It's a shame the Tories weren't checking IDs when Hancock gave two PPE deals worth more than £90 million to a faceless Chinese firm listed at a hotel room in Beijing.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

"Hello Serco Ambulance service - is the patient paying by card or cash?"

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of having 126,000 dead.

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

Gove. You either loathe him or you hate him.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

1983 British Gas is not for sale Thatcher. 1992 British Rail is not for sale Major. 2010 Royal Mail is not for sale Cameron. 2019 The NHS is not for sale Johnson.

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

"Ok let's try again. If I have trade deals with 27 of my closest neighbours worth billions then I give away all 27 deals and sell lamb to a country that has a beef obsession what do I have?"

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Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

A man who was ambushed by Colin the Caterpillar shouldn't be negotiating with Russia.

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

A recent survey has found that one in three Conservatives are just as corrupt as the other two.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

German population: 83 million Total Deaths: 72763 Test and Trace cost: £48 million UK population: 66 million Total Deaths: 126000 Test and Trace cost £32 Billion World Beating.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

GREAT NEWS My ongoing campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing upset to Johnson has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @BorisJohnson so he can see how well we're doing. Thank you.

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

April Fools is canceled this year because no made up prank could match the unbelievable shit going on in this country right now.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

"You almost didn't make it, but then your cheque cleared"

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

"Great news George you're being transferred to a new hospital" "Where is it?" "You're in it"

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Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

"Great news the estate agent just called your house has sold now you can afford your operation"

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

Brexiters enjoy your free 2-week Brexit trial. Your subscription will automatically renew at the end of the month.

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Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

"I need this field clearing" "Landmines?" "Strawberries"

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

Michael Gove. You either loathe him or you hate him.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

GREAT NEWS (again) My ongoing campaign to limit the number of people retweeting this image and causing upset to Johnson has made great progress I am now so confident that nobody will RT it that I am going to tag in @BorisJohnson so he can see how well we're doing. Thank you.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

A blue whale poo can weigh as much as 4 tonnes making it the second largest pile of shit in the world just behind the Conservatives.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

200 Covid deaths a day "Mercifully Low" 100 refugees crossing the channel "Dangerously High" Tory logic.

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

A government of a country that has over 2000 food banks has used a £2.6 million taxpayer funded briefing room to watch a James Bond film.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

Seems fair.

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3 years

If only the protective ring thrown around care homes had matched the one thrown around Dominic Raab.

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

"Your card has been declined. Come on. Up you get"

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

"Ok let's try again. If I have Trade Deals with 27 of my closest neighbours worth £670 billion, then I lose all those 27 deals and start up a deal worth £500 million over 15 years with a country 10,000 miles away, what do I have?"

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

Great Britain a country where it's easier to buy a conservative MP than a gallon of diesel.

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1 year

A country with more than 2500 food banks is spending £7 million renovating the front door of the House of Lords.

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Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

"Your operation isn't cheap but we can offer you a loan that's repayable over five years"

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

We have a footballer setting up a charity to feed hungry kids, and a prime minister setting up a charity to pay for his curtains. World Beating.

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Otto Von Jizzmark

4 years

Please don't retweet this Mr Gove doesn't like it. #Ridge #marr

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Otto Von Jizzmark

2 years

Tories should wear sponsor shirts like footballers so we know who owns them. #bbcqt

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Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll spend decades building up an export business then vote leave and spend the rest of his life moaning like fuck.

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@Ottojizzmark

Otto Von Jizzmark

3 years

If you've followed me and I haven't followed you back yet give me a nudge.

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3 years

If you've followed me and I haven't followed you back yet give this a like so I can sort it.

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