Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds @NJSimmondsbooks Twitter profile

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

19 days

COVER REVEAL TIME!!! The only thing worse than the fury of a woman scorned is the wrath of a teenage girl 🩷💀 My new thriller, MY DAUGHTER'S REVENGE, is out with @bookouture 14 August in paperback, Kindle & audio. Pre-order now at:

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 years

My 7 year old daughter's crying in bed right now because she wants to wear her Star Wars t-shirt to school but is scared her classmates will laugh because she likes 'boy stuff'. I'm so sad/angry for her. Please RT and comment so I can show her how awesome girl #StarWars fans are.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

1 year

Me, to my 11 yo: What do you want to do for your 12th birthday party in Feb? Her: I want a Potato Book party Me: What's that? Her: Just something I came up with. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read. Genius!

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

Let me tell you about a friend's ex (there's no one I hate more than my friends' exes) who told me he'd written a book, on his phone, in three days. You ready for this story? Here goes...

JM Simpson (Jo) Five books in the Castleby Series.

@JMSimpsonauthor

3 months

Old friend was "taking time out to maybe write a book. I asked him how it was going. Him: 'Haven't started it yet. Can't be that hard though. You've done it a couple of times haven't you? Not rocket science. I'll probably knock one out in a week or so.' #WritingCommunity

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

🗣 UK, ARE YOU FEELING HOT? Having lived in Spain and Australia, and brought up by Spanish family, I've learned a lot. Here is a thread on how to keep cool in this summer. My British mates often don't know these tips. Ignore if you already do... ☀️🧵

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

I can hear my mum giving her boy advice. But my 12 yo is saying "I'm not treating anyone mean to keep them keen. I'll treat him with respect as I would expect him to treat me." omg I'm upstairs shouting GOOD GIRL, DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR NAN! 🤣

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 months

This is boring but I can't stop thinking about my sister's friend who gives all her kids a net bag to put dirty socks and underwear in and then washes and tumble dries the whole bag and returns them complete. No sorting, no odd socks, easy peasy. I'm buying some net bags!

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 months

In the early 90s my mum had one piece of toast for breakfast, with margarine, and a cup-a-soup and one Ryvita for lunch. Sometimes an apple. She also did earobics every day. She talked about her weight, our weight, and everyone else's weight constantly. This was the norm.

anise

@AniseNot

6 months

Women used to be thinner bc they would eat like a soft boiled egg & a single piece of wheat toast for breakfast If they got jiggly they skipped dinner It wasn’t rocket science & probably not even seed oils. Seeds oils just made mass quantity tasty fried foods super accessible

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

I love this very niche joke that maybe 5 of my followers will get 😂

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

15 days

No one has chemistry in TV/movies anymore. I keep rewatching 90s classics for realistic connections. Troy and Lelaina in REALITY BITES, Jack and Rose in TITANIC, Edward and Vivian in PRETTY WOMAN. I want to watch a movie and believe the love. Show me recent examples please! 😭

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

Her in the shops - "then in Dutch class we had to describe the colour of our classmates eyes. I already know his...dark blue with flecks of gold." Me - YOU DID NOT JUST SAY GOLDEN FLECKED EYES!!!! She's killing me.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@BrentToderian I live in the Netherlands now. They knocked down a bridge near my house and rebuilt in a year to accommodate cars, bikes and trams AND because they were one week behind schedule due to Covid, they delivered a bunch of flowers to all houses nearby with an apology. Amazing country.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

He likes her too. They're going out for an ice cream tomorrow. I can't cope. What a ride...

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

Anyway, it appears the best way to rich is be born to rich parents, go to a 30k a term school, never work, spend their money, then become a millionaire when they die. Simple. No wonder the book only took three days to write.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

Got back. No blue ticks of message seen. What is this kid doing? Why is he not looking at his phone like a normal child? Anyway...I bought provisions to get me through this weekend.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

I need to go to the supermarket but what if he replies while I'm gone and I don't get to update you all in real time? Forget it. I need to go to the shops. I need wine.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 years

Thanks everyone. She's now talking about wearing it with pride alongside her unicorn trousers because she can see there are plenty of other Star Wars girls out there 💗

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

He sold 5 copies. He took it down a month later when it was clear this wasn't going to make him rich. My friend left him and last I heard he'd moved back in with his parents. He runs his own business now...from the shed in their garden. He blocked me. I'm still laughing.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

1 year

@tara_watson_ And then we read countless interviews by her saying how hard it was to get so disgustingly fat for the role and how she couldn't wait to get back to her normal weight. I worked in glossy mags at the time, I was in my early 20s, I was a size UK 10-12 and felt HUGE. Awful.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

Sod promoting my books. I've pinned this so you can all find it...it's only fair. Normal business resumes once this kid bothers to LOOK AT HIS PHONE!

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

I'd just got a three book deal. Maybe I'd made it look too easy. So he decided he was going to make his millions writing a self-help book and self-publishing it. What was it going to be about? HOW TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A SUCCESS (from a guy who lived off Daddy's money

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

I'm providing this service on two other apps too. My friends need to know, goddammit.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

25 days

Can we please take a moment to look at colour palette vs character arc with Penelope in S4 of #BRIDGERTON ? Check out the Cinderella vibes too. 1. Before finding herself: Dressed in acidic colours, busy fabrics, tight curls. In keeping with the 'Ugly Step Sisters' coded family.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

First let me paint a picture of this guy. His parents were loaded. He'd never done a day's work in his life. He always had some 'entrepreneurial' scheme going that never went anywhere. This man RATED himself. Every chance he got he would tell you how his school was 30k a term.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

The front cover was a photo of him in front of his pool smoking a cigar. A house which he hadn't paid rent on in months because the bank had repossessed it from the landlord, his parents were bankrolling him, he treated my friend like shit (she eventually left). What a man!

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

So he wrote his book on his phone. In 3 days. He was so smug because he was showing me how writing a book wasn't hard, no big deal, in fact he had it up on Amazon within the week. I was curious and offered to beta read it. He said it was OK, his mum had already looked at it.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@MitaliPerkins Was walking home 1am alone when I passed 3 hooded teen boys sharing a joint. I braced myself as they shouted something out. Ignored them, kept walking. They shouted again. "What?" I barked in my toughest voice. "Careful crossing on that corner," one said. "That roads dangerous."

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

4 years

My aunt broke her leg last month and her daughter in law bought her a jigsaw puzzle with a photo of our whole family on it. She just finished it...and it's a different family. I can't 😂😂😂

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

So his book was out and he told everyone. He was an author now, just like me. It was easy! There he was, a published writer, sharing his story with millions who would read it and become a success just like him. He had a clever pricing model. 99p. He was going to be rich!

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

Ha, this was popular. Glad you all liked my story. Here are all the proper books I have written that took more than 3 days and weren't written on my phone 🤣

Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

7 months

All my books: GOOD GIRLS DIE LAST - Raw feminist thriller, London heatwave, and a serial killer THE PATH KEEPER - Romantasy past life trilogy with angels BLOOD WEB - Spicy & sassy paranormal romantasy series

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@guy_visionary @buitengebieden_ Love this! My kids paint and I add to it too...

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 months

There's no point buying expensive stuff for kids to practise with, puts too much pressure on them. I would have loved this as a kid. Also, if you're a great artist it's not about the quality of the materials. My grandfather was arrested during the Spanish civil war and-

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 months

Being a woman over the age of 45 means getting to worry about your kids AND your parents all at once...while your body makes everything harder for you. 1/10. Would not recommend.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

My eldest is the quiet, well behaved kid and the rowdy boys are always put next to her. Watch me bring this up at the next school meeting. Things are about to get awkward af. SHE IS NOT THERE TO REGULATE THE BEHAVIOUR OF OTHERS.

Jess Piper

@piper4missouri

3 months

Yuuuuuuup.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 years

Happy #InternationalWomensDay When I posted about my daughter being worried that her love of #starwars was "for boys" I had no idea how much it would struck a chord with so many women around the world. The amount of comments from inspirational people has blown me away...

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@belabab Sometimes along the lines of "I have something important to tell you. I like you and I hope you feel the same way. If not, that's fine, I hope we can still be friends".

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@DeeLaSheeArt @KaylaAncrum I said to my husband the other day that it was good how he accepted our daughters saying no (polite but firm) to him. He said "I want our girls to never fear saying no to any man for whatever reason." And that's it right there. Parents, put your egos away, empower your kids.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 years

She went to school smiling because of all your kind words. Her friends loved her t-shirt (of course they did). She's now home having realised that the fear of ridicule needn't be stronger than the joy of what you love. Thanks everyone!

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

True story 😆

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

Sod it. The female MC in my fantasy book is going to be 34 now. She was 23 but I think we need change. You all want to see slightly older women with magical powers and a love interest, right??? Talk to me...

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@megfuzzle I was convinced my numb hands, shortness of breath, mood swings, dizziness, tight chest, insomnia, and pins and needles was a serious medical issue. It was. I was on the verge of clinical burnout. That was May 2019 and since then I balance my workload carefully. If you're like -

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@clhubes I worked at Cosmopolitan magazine in London in 2000, and the models used were so ill with anorexia they'd have to airbrush the downy hair off their arms and face. Then use the images for articles like LOSE 10lbs AND KEEP YOUR MAN. So glad my daughters are a different generation.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

1 year

For the record the 6 potatoes will be: 1. Fries 2. Crisps 3. Mash 4. Rosties 5. Smiley faces 6. Stuffed potato skins

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

4 years

@LisforLia Random man: you like pastry? Didn't happen.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

1. Keep windows and curtains/blinds CLOSED. This may sound strange but the air is hot and so is sunlight, so keep your house shady. It helps a lot.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 months

I'm very confused because my 14yo said this is the cool expensive bag her friends want for Christmas. But...these are the ugly bags they sold for a fiver in Wood Green market in the 90s. My nan had one.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 years

Today is a day to celebrate that. To show our children just how powerful a woman can be, and how fantastic men who support that truly are. I heard from NASA scientists, screen writers, fandom queens and Luke Skywalker himself. They wanted my little girl to be brave and strong.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

6. Sleep naked with just a sheet. AC and a duvet is expensive, silly, and will dry your throat. Cool shower, thin sheet, no clothes, starfish pose 🤣

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 months

At school, we would talk calories nonstop. It wasn't cool to eat. Most people smoked to curb hunger pangs. Anything we did eat wasn't very healthy either. Kate Moss was the aim. By early 2000s I worked in magazines, anything above a UK 10 was huge. The worst thing to be was fat.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

4. Do the hard work early morning and when the sun goes down. Yeah, I know, we all work 9-5 but on weekends stay up late and have a long siesta/chill 1-5pm indoor. This is why Spaniards eat dinner 10pm 🤣

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

Hope that wasn't too condescending. I think all of this is obvious, you may do too, but I'm always shocked that many don't adjust their way of living in the heat. So hope it helps. I spend every summer is southern Spain with highs of 42C. I don't even have AC. It's fine ☀️

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 months

This is both right and wrong. A few weeks ago I attended a lecture by a professor with a PhD in the science of happiness (it was a fancier title than that). Here's what I learned abiut how money can and can't make you happy...plus other cool stuff.

Nikki

@NicoletteFuller

6 months

Right?

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 years

I want to add that this is a very strong female household. My girls are the daughters of only daughters of only daughters. Big girl power family. In fact we were reading Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls when she got upset. Yet goes to show how ingrained stereotypes still are 😢x

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 months

Being a mum of 2 teen girls today is hard with this legacy. Liking how I look is hard with this upbringing. My mum still struggles in her 70s to not judge her body. It's ridiculous, and I'm relieved it's changing. No one talked about being healthy back then, just being a size 0.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 months

Don't forget we were brought up thinking THIS was normal and aspirational! We need to recognise how well Gen X/Millennial mums are doing not passing on this damaging rhetoric to their girls today, because it's so deeply embedded.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

1 year

@chimenesuleyman I'm so confused as to whether he has no clean water or light but a phone with WiFi and a charger - or whether the assistant he left behind to continue this charade online has just got carried away 😂

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@clhubes And no I didn't say anything because a. Back then we all wanted to look like that model b. I was a powerless, intimidated 22 year old c. Back then it was normal to shut up and put up. So yeah, glad things have moved on.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@bethmayashley Purple is synonymous with female power. It's why so much witch stuff is purple too. Like girly pink...but darker.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@megfuzzle It's too easy to get addicted to the adrenaline of work and can push yourself to a point you don't realise in unhealthy. I thought the superwoman archetype was aspirational, but it was making me ill. I still suffer from guilt when I slow down, but I notice the signs now 🖤

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

10. Said it earlier but this cream is a game changer. I've not had chafing since 2004. Better than cycling shorts that might make you get thrush or whatever (you don't want too many layers don't there).

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

1 month

There are only two people on Twitter today: 1. Those who saw the lights and are showing off their magical photos. 2. Those who never knew about them, didn't look, and are now crying. Please spare a thought for those of us currently struggling.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

3. Avoid eating spicy food, cinnamon and alcohol. They make the heat rise in your body (good winter food). Hot drinks DON'T keep you cool. Of course they don't. Ffs, drink tea if you want, but room temp drinks are best (really cold drinks are bad for your throat).

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

@LadyBugAssassin All these experiences and attention shape a child so by the time they're old enough to remember nice stuff they're already secure and feel loved. I agree you don't have to spend a lot of money, but celebrating and fuss means something.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

5 months

Unfollowing or disliking someone online for their staunch political views is understandable, but unfollowing or outing them for their silence is simplistically naive and dangerous. Let me explain why many people (inc me) don't mention politics/upsetting things on social media:

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

@OneFeIISwoop Why is everyone talking about Europe like it's one country? Europe is made up of 44 countries, and they don't all contain Paris, London or Rome🤣 Although, yeah, we have very slutty men out here. It's great.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 years

Yes this did happen. No I don't care about Twitter Likes (I care about my kids). She didn't NEED affirmation, but it was nice for her to see amazing female SW fans. She was worried about ridicule, yet some people have replied cruelly. Clearly adults can be mean too, sad lesson :(

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

5. Cold flannels on the back of your neck and wrists cool you down. As do cool showers. You still having a hot shower? Why? Stop that.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

25 days

4. She then starts to slowly morph from the green to blues...and whose colour is light blue in the show???? Hmm???? THE BRIDGERTONS!

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 years

Of course she was strong anyway, she didn't need Twitter to tell her that, but this outpouring of love showed us all that strangers can come together for one cause. That love is stronger than hate (ask any Jedi) and that women can do and be anything. Our kids are growing up in..

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

2. Keep still. If you're hot, stop flapping about and fanning yourself. Do nothing (if possible) and sit on the ground not sofas or rugs.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

Oh, and watermelon and ice lollies keep you hydrated, hence salad etc being good in the summer because of water content. Eat what you want, but digestion uses up energy you don't have - so eat little and often and light. Hence tapas! Big lunch, long sleep, light dinner 😍

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

25 days

2. Transition. We see her move from her family's colour scheme to a dark green. She literally lets her hair down (standard movie visual) and makes the Cinderella-type entrance. Her dress is transparent in places, showing her vulnerability and need to be seen.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

25 days

5. And by the midpoint twist we're full Cinderella. Blue sparkly gown, HE is running from the ball to the carriage because he's running out of time, and she finally crosses the line. But what happens in Cinderella at this point? Well, it takes a while for her to escape her past.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

5 months

I lost someone I cared about last year, in a very difficult way, then I realised I could put them in my next book and they would live forever. Ten mins ago I wrote that scene, just a small character saying words he once said. Writing really is the very best kind of magic.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

7. Sip water, don't gulp it down. Apparently sipping it means you stay hydrated, huge gulps it goes straight into the stomach and you wee it out. I'm not a Dr. Just what I've always been told.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

1 month

I remember, when I got married in 2012, being disappointed because there were hardly any photos of me looking glam or carefree on my special day. I was holding my tiny children the whole time. Now, 12 years later, I look at them and they are the best photos ever 🥹 #MothersDay

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

1 year

Get yourself a man like mine. Husband picked up our kid from a party and a mum who neither of us know piped up, 'I hear your wife's an author. I guess there's a lot of luck involved in that.' Daughter said he replied, 'more like immense skill and hard work.' He's so angry now 😂

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@voraciousbrain I'm hated by more than one man whose wife/gf left him because I opened her eyes. I'd empower a guy to do the same, btw, if I saw him unhappy. Too many people stay suffering for too long...

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

8. In the day wear hair up, a comfortable/no bra, choose loose cotton clothing, don't wear heels. Sorry, it may sound obvious but if you wear a tight lycra dress, polyester knickers, heels and a padded bra you WILL suffer from swollen feet, chafing, and other unsavoury things.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

25 days

3. But as her confusion about what she wants grows, her dresses go from dark and dramatic green to a lighter green. She's now totally separate from her family but not yet belonging anywhere else in terms of colour. In wide shots she stands out as not having a colour clique.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

9. Put suncream on every inch of your body BEFORE you get dressed, then you won't burn around the edges of your clothes. Suncream doesn't work after a year or two, check dates. Don't forget ears, hair line and toes. Reapply every few hours or when you get wet. 30-50SPF is best.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

@ElyKreimendahl My mum said this to me the other day and I asked "And were you happy?" And she said "Of course not!" So I replied "What's your point then?" 🤣

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

1 year

I have time today so I'm going to talk to you about my writing process - something that I believe helped me get an agent really fast (3 days) and helped her sell GOOD GIRLS DIE LAST just as fast (3 weeks). You may not like it, it's very unromantic, but it works for me.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 years

A different world than the one we did. Yet I genuinely believe that the parents of today are doing their best to raise powerful girls and kind boys. That the #meetoo movement, and films and books coming out now are setting the next generation up to not tolerate injustice. So...

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 months

Replace? As in THROW AWAY? When my nan died I kept all her towels, half of which I'm sure she bought in the 80s. I didn't realise people threw OK things away and bought fresh. Don't you all wait until stuff is unusable? Wash them. I even put my sponges in the washing machine 🤷‍♀️

Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

6 months

The shower curtain liner industry be like

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@DeeLaSheeArt @KaylaAncrum I will add though that my girls are helpful, polite, good kids. But they help around the house etc out of respect, not fear-based obedience. It's about the bigger picture .

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

1 year

Also, the beauty of this party is that it's just as much fun if you're the only one there. No need to invite anyone at all. No need to even wait for your birthday, actually!

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@bethmayashley And the reason purple is linked to spirituality is because of the colour of chakras, the crown one (enlightenment) being indigo. Now linked to witches/women. Colours have subconcious energy frequencies (I work in marketing and have a random qualification in colour therapy lol)

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@Sharon_Davis_ My FEMALE midwife made a joke to MY husband about an extra stitch too. My husband looked at her and said "my wife just gave birth 10 mins ago. Do you really think that's appropriate?" And that's why I married him.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 months

apparently no one believed he was a painter and just 'liked the view' in no man's land. He was about to be killed when they handed him a kid's painting set and told him to prove he was a real artist. According to him it was the best fucking painting he ever did!

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

For the record I won't post updates on my kid and this boy anymore because The Message was enough. Any more is intrusive and not fair on them. But omg, just gonna say being a mum watching your kids tackle milestones is WAY more stressful than going through them yourself.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 years

@kdrisme If he says no then that's life, and as long as he's kind that's fine. She already knows the opinion of a boy is no reflection of her worth 😉

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

These tips are mainly for those with boobs who don't have a penis. Sorry, I don't know how to help with other anatomical parts. Feel free to add your own tips.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

4 years

My 9 yo after discovering she has TWO conference calls with teachers today... OH MY GOD, SO MANY MEETINGS!!!!! WHY CAN'T THEY JUST SEND AN EMAIL?!! And suddenly, my daughter is speaking on behalf of the nation.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

Damn, this got big! Just jumping in to say if you're not a huge reader but you enjoy a gripping story my latest book GOOD GIRLS DIE LAST is being made into a TV series. And if you like a bargain it's just 99c on Kindle right now in the US!

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

2 years

Just woke up to see this is doing numbers. I'm no weather expert but I AM author. So if you like fantasy books, check these out. And my next book is a thriller set in a heatwave 🤣 (more info to come)

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

Imagine not being British and having to read aloud a story about how Lady Cholmondeley and Mr Beauchamp from Ruislip went to Leicester to buy worcestershire sauce to take back to Gloucester.

Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦

@cmclymer

3 months

How in the hell is Cholmondeley pronounced “Chumley”? I refuse to pronounce it that way. Completely ridiculous. I swear, the only thing the British love more than colonialism is just making up pronunciations that have no business outside a pre-k classroom or a pot circle.

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

25 days

Now, I'm no film critic, costume expert, nor watched these episodes more than once...it's all conjecture. But I do tell stories for a living and none of this went unnoticed. The Cinderella comps were blatant, as was her morphing to Bridgerton blue. Can't wait for more!!

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

@PaulBrislen Oh this one didn't have a 'trust fund' - he lived off the money from his investors, apparently. He had one investor. I asked who. It was his dad 🤣🤣🤣

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

3 months

This is true. Daughter of an immigrant, I moved to the UK age 7, was homeless a year, lived in a council estate, not much money (albeit a great area and amazing family). When I got one of the highest A level results for art in North London I didn't go to art college because-

Arts Emergency

@ArtsEmergency

3 months

"All too often, working-class children are not provided the same access to the arts. The arts have been treated as a luxury, rather than a necessity, for far too long." - Imelda Staunton

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Natali Simmonds / N J Simmonds

@NJSimmondsbooks

6 years

I'm completely overwhelmed by all the love and support from you amazing SW fans. My daughter is totally cool now and very sheltered from the Internet so has no idea what she started. She says 'thank you Luke Skywalker for your message'. She won't take her t-shirt off now 💗

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