Hannah Posts @HannahPosted Twitter profile

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

He should marry Anya Taylor-Joy and they would be Aaron and Anya Taylor-Johnson-Taylor-Joy

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

2 months

Aaron Taylor-Johnson has been offered the role of James Bond, taking over from Daniel Craig, The Sun reports. He is expected to sign the contract in the next few days.

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

3 months

They have to AI the picture bc there aren't any photos of him with his actual 10-14 children

🇺🇸 Pismo 🇺🇸

@Pismo_B

3 months

@elonmusk Make More Babies

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

Trying so hard not to be mean rn

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

1 month

It's one of very few products that's typically sold with no plastic, please be quiet!

reb

@rebmasel

1 month

guy: hey let’s sell flour CEO: ok sure. the packaging could be a resealable bag, something- guy: fucked up beyond all reason CEO: ..what guy: the worst thing you’ve ever dealt with CEO: I love it

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

1 month

We decided to stop for a bathroom break and Peter was like "this looks like that picture." And guess what. That's exactly where we are

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

3 months

This bothers me because the second person here was definitely making a joke, and then the third person swooped in to make the same joke

John O'Connell

@jdpoc

3 months

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

I love it when the thing is in the thing that's usually in the thing

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

The traditional American family: a mom, a dad, four kids, and a mom

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

11 days

Me: What did you do at school today, Linus? Linus: i don't know Linus's day at school:

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

My most buzzkill opinion is that we should have very strict packaging and labling regulations for anything alcoholic or with cannabis in it. Caffeine should be better labeled too

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

Well which one looks scarier to you

Jesuit for X-Men

@GracePersephone

2 months

Why are so many horror movies dealing with Catholics? Y'all having trouble making Protestant horror flicks?

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

7 months

Unfortunately this is very funny

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

Breaking Bad

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

"Public transit and biking aren't practical for families with young kids, we need cars" Oh yeah? Well explain this

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

We're 3% of the way through the list and you've already contradicted yourself

The Guardian

@guardian

4 months

100 tiny changes to transform your life: from the one-minute rule to pyjama yoga

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

29 days

How is this hands free

horse dentist

@equine__dentist

29 days

you used to call me on my hands-free talking glove

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

Reading a bedtime story to my kids and immediately jumping on youtube

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

13 days

Two hours of work twice a month

William B. Fuckley

@opinonhaver

14 days

How difficult laundry would be was also really oversold to me as a child. “Oh boy just you wait until you’re grown up and have to do your own laundry, mister!”…it’s like what 2 hrs of work twice a month to wash and dry clothes. You lied mother.

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

It would never occur to me that this would be unexpected or inappropriate. If I'm at Mary Ann's house playing dolls, ofc her mother's dearest old friend Miss Margaret would be in the kitchen chatting

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

24 days

You want me to be mad that a dad and one of the cutest little boys I've ever seen in my life like to go grocery shopping together and goof off about it? Not happening

Mittens THE CATMAN (2022)

@JUSTcatmeme

26 days

I can’t take this shit. They have to be stopped.

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

WE FOUND HER!

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

3 months

You ever think about how the olden days must have smelled? Oil lamps, tallow candles, no soap or only weird old fashioned soap, fires burning all the time, no garbage collection or refrigeration

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

13 days

Babe, that's still a modern kitchen

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

22 days

Not to be all There Should Be Clear Labels lady, but look at this lol

Yo Gabapentin

@SomeTweeter420

22 days

My roommate was just like “hey u want an edible gummy?” So he tossed me the bag and I ate one, and then I looked at the bag There was 4 gummies total in there, 2 left now

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

There's gotta be a woman out there somewhere who is trying to do a temperature blanket and an embroidery journal and a daily meditation and keep a diary and log all her meals and meet her Goodreads goal and do 1k outside and she's probably in the middle of a panic attack rn

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

Guys, I don't think the shell of the building is the part that makes housing expensive

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

6 months

Now I just have to transport it to my parents' house

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

Got my wife a Stanley Yelnats cup by accident and now she has to carry someone up a mountain

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

15 days

What's a picture/meme that makes you laugh every time?

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

6 months

Yes, actually, I trust my government to correctly calculate my taxes just as much if not moreso than I trust something called "turbotax"

Grover Norquist

@GroverNorquist

6 months

The IRS is trying to insert itself as your income tax preparer—without congressional authorization.

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

1 year

Thinking about how all the folks from my first ever big tweet are doing these days

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

Telling your proposal story to your grandkids, "we all thought it was very funny at the time,"

antifa of cleves

@mollywidstrom

4 months

rat hole proposal @bikelanesmn

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

The nostalgia cycle getting so short soon we're gonna be longing for the simpler days of breakfast time

cami

@pinkitties

2 months

What is happening.

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

They're being mysterious about it like it might be some secret cool thing, but this is definitely just for servants

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

Me: my account says I'm eligible for an upgrade Verizon store employee: yeah so what that means is ur allowed to buy a new phone

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

A definitive tier ranking of how all the alphabet books in my house handle the letter X. 🧵

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

My 3yo niece: is santa real? Her father, realizing he can't lie to such a straightforward question: no, he's not real 3yo: and where does Santa live?

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

26 days

Is this special episode about the family having to move, being heartbroken about it, and then the dad reneging on the sale of his house and them staying after all? If so, that's hysterical. Imagine all the families having to explain to their kids they're moving now lol

Jon Cartwright

@JonComms

27 days

It's absolutely crazy to have this air with all the other toddler shows, it's on such a different level

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

The shower curtain liner industry be like

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

Fixed it. I don't even think this would be hard

Scott L

@IamScottlarson

2 months

NYC just isn't worth it anymore. I heard a story last night about a guy who works at a large financial institution and is losing money by working in finance in NYC. He has an MBA from a top 3 school, he’s a military veteran and an ‘A’ player. Here is the breakdown: 👇…

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

Do kids really think teachers put on movies to be cool rather than lazy?

Alexander Avila

@aretheygay

5 months

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

Can you imagine getting that call? Your kid is over at a friend's house and their mom calls you to ask if her sister can stop by for a coffee

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

The Christian nationalist woman will be so tall when she stands up

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

"You'd have to be a moron not to know that's got alcohol in it" ok well I think morons deserve a nice safe coke zero too

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

1 year

This guy and the guy who shot the child who rang his doorbell (who still needs to be charged) need to have very public trials and convictions. It needs to be all over the news that you cannot shoot people for entering your front yard

Times Union

@timesunion

1 year

BREAKING: A 65-year-old man has been charged with second-degree murder after police say he shot at a car that had mistakenly turned into his driveway Saturday night. 20-year-old Kaylin A. Gillis, from Saratoga County, was killed. FULL DETAILS:

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

This is a call out thread. This account is posting harmful misinformation in the form of fake Frog and Toad quotes that do not appear in the books written by Arnold Lobel 🧵

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

1 year

Months ago I saw a tweet that said humans aren't actually able to detect wetness, we have to use other things like texture and temperature to figure out if something is wet, and I've thought about it several times a day since. I'm a completely different person now

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

Hulu, babe, I've been watching each episode of this show one after the other, obviously I want the episodes to starts at the beginning instead of 1 minute before the end every single time

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

The parent who uses chatgpt to write emails to me just sent me one where she must have accidentally put then prompt in wrong, because it's written as an email from me

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

@AutumnTweets I kinda feel like if it was a wild party the OP would have mentioned that in the thread somewhere, but she did not

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

You're a millennial if you were born during Charles and Diana's marriage

Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

Millennials are usually described as the last generation to know the pre internet age. It includes people who got their first smartphone in their late 20s and people who've been on mobile social media since they were 13. It's just not that cohesive

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

3 months

@epicbirdguy1 You telling me that Julius didn't make the Julian calendar

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

3 months

"After the birth of our daughter" tells you everything you need to know

Billem Dafoe

@Billem_DaFoe

3 months

This happens to so many men. I know a guy going through it right now but he refuses to cheat and instead is always angry with his wife and resents his family. I told him, he’d be a better dad and husband if he just found a release. Even just one offs on business trips would do.

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

1 month

@no2hater It's fine how it is

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

1 month

Breezewood, PA. We're at the Sheetz if you wanna come say hi in the next 2 minutes

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

3 months

@ill_Scholar He takes lots of public pictures with his favorite child, so he's very clearly not opposed to it lol

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

7 months

Why were they printing dreams in the newspaper

1924 Live

@100YearsAgoLive

7 months

A man in Park City, Utah, dreams that he is living in the year 2023, and that in the future people go on strike because they only make $125/day, and eggs cost $10/dozen.

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

And lastly, the Catholics really dug deep into Greek for this S tier X

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

A is for Annabelle is a great book, 1950s pretending to be Victorian. It has some great moments. Z is for zither! But it doesn't even try for X. Terrible. Disappointing. F tier

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

6 months

You ok babe? You haven't touched your charcutertree

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

3 months

One of my favorite pages from any book as a child

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

3 months

A kid came out to me as gay this morning but I forgot which kid it was. I hope she doesn't expect me to mention it again lol

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

One of my favorite holiday traditions is revisiting conservative think pieces defending the great Christmas villains. The most classic examples are of course defending Scrooge

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

Just buy some land, build a foundation, get water/sewage/electric, insulate the building, put in interior walls, and bam! You've got a crappy little shack

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

1 year

he's definitely the worst person. it is troubling how many people are not understanding this.

Braden 🏺

@BradenIsBased

1 year

I still have no idea if this dude is supposed to be the worst person we know or if it's supposed the reaction you make when the worst person you know makes a good point.

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

13 days

"You don't need to wash sheets that often" thanks for telling us all that you aren't having sex

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

"I'm this old." The book was published in 1939 and it's still going strong today. You have given us no information regarding your age.

the guy with the green hair

@AlexJayeSINGER

4 months

NOW THIS UNLOCKED A MEMORY 🔑 🧠

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

The thing about Northern Virginia is if you want to go to the best playground around, you have to park next to the CIA complex and the playground is sponsored by a weapons manufacturer

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

It doesn't matter that this says Jack Daniel's right on it in huge letters. It looks like a can of coke. I think we need a different shape or something for alcoholic canned bevs

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

Ok this one isn't actually a book, it's like a dry erase marker mat, but I'm counting it anyway because I love an unusual X. S tier

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

Diana, no!

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

We could require all alcoholic bevs to be in the skinny 12oz cans, and sodas in the normal ones. Something like that, idk

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

(bravely) 9 is too old to believe in Santa

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

7 months

"different life stages" bro she is an alcoholic

elle

@ellegist

7 months

men love to date women 7 years their junior then moan about being at different life stages

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

11 months

@bimbomarxistt The 13 year old must have done it

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

We're going to the national aquarium tomorrow and we just learned they have a no stroller policy, "for safety." When my 2yo attacks the sharks I expect they'll change that policy

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

Winter ABC has an unusual pick: a xerus! This would be S tier, except it doesn't even try to fit the theme. A tier

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

@neildecrypt This isn't barely affording a middle class lifestyle, this is spending an insane amount on luxuries

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

Next up, Sandra Boynton. You know I'm a huge Boyntonhead. She's got a fun spin on the standard xylophone. A tier

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

13 days

Laundry discourse always makes me feel crazy because some people will say stuff like "my family of four does 2 loads a week!" and I have to try to square that with the 8 loads a week my family of 4 needs

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

6 months

@VarsH6J Not like those honest tax preparation corporations

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

I like this plan

Jenn🌲

@JuniperFolly

2 months

@HannahPosted You know how toy guns have a bright orange tip? Cans should have a color coded ring at the top that lists whats in them

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

Here's a seasonal one. I appreciate that it's not a xylophone or X-ray. A tier

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

First up is this book with the little flaps. Xylophone is fine, but is standard. B tier

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

2 months

@wkbdyb Don't care

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

Have I told you guys that all my students say "chat" all the time? It's baked into their speech patterns. "Chat, is this real?" a dozen times a day

🍉merlot

@angeIsighting

5 months

something to be horrified by: "chat" might be legitimately be the first dedicated 4th person pronoun

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

Full official tier ranking of all the Xs in the ABC books in my house

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

I woke up and realized she's also doing duolingo and trying to downsize her closet into a more sustainable capsule wardrobe

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

@rebeccarightnow Yeah but why would they include contradictory advice in their list

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@HannahPosted

2 months

@PostingAtWork I could absolutely run up a bill that big. It would involve never ever cooking, except maybe something fancy for fun, and getting delivery all the time.

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

I have a monogrammed bath towel I got for Christmas when I was like 12 or 13. It is my favorite towel.

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

@zplerhop In her defense, the real answer does sound fake

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

5 months

I love Maurice Sendak, but come on man. D tier

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

1 year

The whole selling point for gmail and google drive was that you would be able to store stuff forever. You wouldn't run out of storage (not quickly, at least) stuff would autosave, it would follow you from device to device, you wouldn't lose anything if your computer broke.

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

I know they seem like they're having a lot of fun but it doesn't look safe and it's making me nervous, so I have called their mothers

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

@InlandCaGuy They used to!

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Hannah Posts

@HannahPosted

4 months

Unless the data has dramatically changed since I last checked, kids are smoking, drinking, doing drugs, and having sex at lower rates than like ever before