Ed Byrne @MrEdByrne Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@FurasD_Siuras

@bak3627

@woot_fran

@CoachTravisPLU

@ItsMemesandDOGE

@friedcoyotes

@grant_ellinger

@TregsL

@MeshMushi

@OfficialTrinnn

@Rusk_snowdrop

@corey_twigg

@lauporrit

@ellmartt8888

@beer_esq

@PAWarnhoff

@CMOGuj

@MiedemaF

@OtsegoHSBasebal

@twlldun

@TheLastDegree

@QSinceer

@Longfonds

@alexsingleton49

@Charles_S_Jr_

@dutchbowers

@FloridaACC

@AngloAesthetics

@Guardsman_Miku

@M_Redulla

@Claudio70222795

@CarverHSES

@happyrockcouple

@VanceBanzo

@DuncanKeith

@ditmirbushati

Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

Paul Byrne was a lot of things to a lot of people. A talented comedy director and stand up fixer, he was loved by so many. But to me, he was my pain-in-the-arse little brother and I will miss him so much. RIP Paul Byrne 1977-2022

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 years

Here’s to 2021 being the exact opposite of 2020 ie: really shit until about mid March and then heaps of fun after that.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

Thank you all for the lovely messages of condolence. Too many to respond to directly, they have been a big help. Normal service will be resumed eventually and I’ll go back to boring you all with photographs of me holding beers as soon as I can.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

HMRC: Mr Byrne, you still have an outstanding tax bill. Me: I earned that money two years ago. It’s time to move on.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

Going down swinging

Kevin Wardrop

@kevinwardrop

2 years

@MrEdByrne is always gonna be a real People Pleaser Bravo!

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

I want a canvas print if this photo with a little bronze engraving of the accompanying tweet.

Rebecca Jules

@RebeccaJJules

2 years

@tompeck Wayne Rooney recounts his harrowing time in 'Nam, whilst Ed Byrne looks on in concern.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

I don’t know who threw this on to the stage at the end of tonight’s show but, Cheers?

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 months

My mother, my wife and my kids are all at the local carol service. My Dad and I are watching “Air crash Investigation”. Truly, this is what Christmas Eve is all about.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

Trying to explain fractions to my youngest son. Doing my best not to explain it in terms of how much less I love him with every passing moment.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

1 year

Congratulations 2022. Despite stiff competition from 2020 and 2021, you have managed to be the absolute worst year of my life. Can’t wait to put you in my rear view, you evil bastard. Come on 2023! Let’s be pals.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 years

At Stansted Airport waiting for my parents. I haven’t seen them, they haven’t seen their grandchildren, since Feb 2020. Pretty damn excited right now.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

Cheers to ⁦ @BAFTA ⁩ for including my wee bro in the “In Memoriam” section of your Craft awards last night.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

Obviously, you should marry whoever you happen to fall in love with. I’m just saying, if you snag yourself a Derbyshire farmer’s daughter, your chances of enjoying a scenic New Year’s Eve increase dramatically. Happy New Year from The Peak District.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

This is it. Last one for me

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

In the car with the kids the other day. They start picking apart songs for not making sense. “But there aren’t 8 days in a week” “How can you have purple rain?” I finally had to say, “They’re song lyrics. They’re not meant to be taken literally!” Isn’t it Ironic

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

Here's a little thread about something I discovered about my Dad over the weekend. I was back at my folks' house in Dublin and I noticed a photo on the wall that hadn't been there before. It was of my Dad in his 20s standing next to an odd metal structure.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 years

Harry Hill on Sean Lock

Harry Hill on Sean Lock: ‘The comedian’s comedian who took us all by surprise’

Sean’s crazily funny gags reminded me why I got into comedy – his dry humour was always balanced with his wide-eyed wonder at the world

www.theguardian.com

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

Jeremy Hardy has died. That’s started the day with a punch in the guts. Lovely bloke, very funny and a genuine force for good.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

Imagine being so thick that you think this shit is clever.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 years

Looks like I picked the wrong month to do Dry January.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

Looks like a good guy to me.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 months

For most people the period between Christmas and New Year can be weirdly uneventful but today I became the father of a teenager. Quite the “red letter” day.

Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

13 years

Yesterday I became a dad for the first time. Happy new year to you all. I won't be tweeting for a bit. Too busy staring at my son.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 years

I’m so fucking bored I just offered to help my 10 yr old with his Lego. He politely declined the offer.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

7 years

Hey Mike Pence! You call that being booed? Try doing a gig for some chartered surveyors and accidentally calling them quantity surveyors.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

I've reached the point in lockdown where I've started arguing with the radio and it's arguing back.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

Tonight I have my first professional engagement for four months. I’ve never gone this long without performing stand up since I started 27 years ago. I am positively giddy with excitement.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

The dressing room in the Alhambra has a mirror they clearly stole from a carnival. I wish I was this tall.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

6 years

This is me absolutely geeking out with the original Arthur Dent and the actual dressing gown from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy TV show. I was in sci fi nerd heaven.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

6 years

I really wish I had it in me to simply rejoice in a victory for Irish women, but I can’t help but delight in this being a defeat some of the most despicable people in Ireland. Fuck you, Mc Guirk, you lost!

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

I love meat. I pride myself on my barbecue skills. I think pork is particularly tasty. I also think anyone complaining about the production of a vegan sausage roll is a total bellend. I contain multitudes.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

6 years

25 years ago today I did my first stand up gig. It took me over a year to realise the pony tail wasn’t a good look.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

Do you see how he talks to me? This is the abuse I have to put up with. He makes David Williams look like a gentleman.

Dara Ó Briain

@daraobriain

2 years

@MrEdByrne What the almighty fuck. Is the cut on your lip from the fight you had with the barber who did this to you?

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

HAIRCUT!

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

🎶Happy Birthday to me🎵

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

7 years

Bloke points at my Pearl Jam t shirt. Him: Love your t shirt Me: Cheers. You a Pearl Jam fan? Him: No, but my dad is. I'm so fucking old.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

So, there hangs, in The Kennedy Centre in Washington, DC a chandelier, gifted to the US by the Irish government, and my Dad made it AND HE NEVER MENTIONED IT ONCE IN THE 47 YEARS I'VE KNOWN HIM.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

If you still haven’t registered to vote I’m not sure a word from a mid level 40something comedian is the push you need, but here it is anyway. @vfyf2019 PS I’m in the passenger seat. I’m not filming and driving.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

Shout out to all the comedians who thought it would be a sex scandal, rather than a pandemic, that killed their careers.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

It’s finally happening. I make my QI debut tonight. I can now stop correcting people who tell me they’re sure they’ve seen me on it.

Quite Interesting

@qikipedia

5 years

Some 17th-century doctors recommended farting in a jar and smelling it to cure the plague. On tonight's QI, @sanditoksvig @alandavies1 @sindhuvfunny @rhodgilbertshow and @MrEdByrne will be going to the doctors in our PATHOLOGY episode. @BBCTwo at 10pm. #QI

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 years

I just called myself a moron and then apologised to myself when I realised I hadn’t made the mistake I thought I had made. Apologised to myself. Literally said, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have called you a moron” to myself. The worst thing is it actually made me feel better.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

7 years

You should really take your shoes off before getting on the bed.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 months

Two years ago today Paul Byrne departed this earthly realm. I met him at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth and VERY funny.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

You’re still cool with Presidents who fantasise about dating their daughters, though, right?

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

The planner on our kitchen wall makes me feel like I’m being taunted from another dimension by a happier version of myself. He’s full of tales of skiing holidays, drinks with friends and lucrative stand-up gigs. I hate the smug prick.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

I’m 48 and I can’t see the point of this.

Gavin Thomas

@gavinthomas2015

4 years

State your age and something you can't do I'm 36 and I can't swim 🤷‍♂️

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

9 months

This is the first time in my 30 year career that the dude from the Guardian has given me a review that was better than 3 stars.

Guardian culture

@guardianculture

9 months

Ed Byrne: Tragedy Plus Time review – grief, regret and lots of laughter

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

8 years

My 4 yr old: I wish I was a grown up. Me: If you're a grown up, you have to go to work. (Beat) 4 yr old: I wish I was a comedian #NoRespect

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 years

HMRC, sensing I needed a laugh, have just sent me a tax bill from an alternate universe where my earnings for this year were the same as they were last year. Ha ha ha ha ha!

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

6 years

I’ve just spent 4 days hiking around the Scottish Highlands surrounded by incredible scenery. Summitted 8 munros, walked about 50 miles and climbed almost the equivalent of Everest. I shouldn’t be this happy about the two lousy badges this has earned me on Garmin Connect.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

8 months

I am too old to be laughing as much as I am at this.

Penfold

@elbow112

8 months

Fart trek

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

1 year

No. Ghislaine Maxwell is already in prison, you fucking tube.

Jackson Hinkle 🇺🇸

@jacksonhinklle

1 year

Andrew and Tristan Tate were arrested before any of Epstein’s child-sex trafficking conspirators? The matrix wins again.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

1 year

They’re still cunts

Popular Science

@PopSci

1 year

Wasps have a vastly under-appreciated role, both as predators as as pollinators.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

8 years

I found this note last time I was at @daraobriain 's house. Thought nothing of it at the time.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

8 years

All these people on TV asking "How badly will this hurt Trump?", and not one of them is holding a baseball bat.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

And that’s all it took to get myself blocked. Skin like gossamer, this one.

Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

You’re still cool with Presidents who fantasise about dating their daughters, though, right?

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

7 years

I hope it's ok with the grief police if I say Chris Cornell's death has come as an unexpected gut punch this morning.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

On a bike ride yesterday, a bee flew into my mouth and now I have literal “bee stung” lips. Woe is me.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

Would you just look at these two arseholes!

Mock The Week

@MockTheWeek

5 years

The Mock is back. Two weeks today. #BBC2 #10pm Set your alarms

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

Slinking around the kitchen in my pants singing, “I am a man in his pants” to the tune of Barbara Streisand’s “Woman in Love”, just in case you wanted to know exactly how lucky my wife is.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

7 years

Dude! I've never suffered from premature ejaculation. That doesn't mean it's not a problem for others, like your good self.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

Myself and the kids are sleeping in the garden tonight. All the discomfort of camping without that pesky sense of adventure.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

It’s come to my attention that a lot of the tickets for my tour say that latecomers won’t be admitted. This is absolute nonsense. If you are late, don’t worry. You can still come in. I might take the piss, though.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

8 years

Listening to my kids play. 5yo is Batman, 4yo is Ironman. Their disregard for the separate nature of Marvel/DC universes incenses me.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

I don’t even know what they’re responding to because the twat blocked me, but this really made me giggle.

Greggs

@GreggsOfficial

5 years

@piersmorgan Oh hello Piers, we've been expecting you

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

I am currently in a cab on my way home from recording an episode of Mock The Week and I genuinely don’t know if one of the jokes I made was met with silence because A) The audience didn’t know what the IMF had said B) The audience didn’t know who EMF are C) The joke was shit

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

Why hit it with a hammer? Just update the software, that usually fucks it up nicely.

Francis Scarr

@francis_scarr

2 years

More fallout from Apple's decision to stop selling its products in Russia "Here's our response to American sanctions! We don't fear you! We'll live without your nice 'pretty' things!"

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

8 months

Why are you sad, Daddy? Well son, you hear this woman on the radio singing about how she used to be young? Well, when Daddy was young, that woman’s Daddy was on the radio. So now Daddy feels very old indeed.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

The handprint on the wall above my hotel bed is giving me the serious horn.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

Ah shit! Just realised I forgot to work on my side hustle. Another day of lockdown wasted.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

1 year

In other news. This is my first day of taking medication for ADHD. I scored 33 and 30 on #popmaster and got the 3 in 10. Hardly a scientific study, but this bodes well.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

6 years

Congratulations Kellogg’s. That is the shittest Join the Dots in history of Join the Dots.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

6 years

I just know I’m going to arrive home to find my wife has pinned this news article to the inside of our bathroom door.

Metro

@MetroUK

6 years

Man's rectum fell out when he spent too long playing on his phone on the toilet

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

If I was the Democrats, I would have stolen the last election instead. Idiots.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

Just had to change the password on my Disney+ account. Thing is, I never would have known I’d been hacked if the guy hadn’t changed the language settings and set up a profile for his kid, Mathias. That was a bonehead move on his part.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

7 years

My wife and I now communicate mainly through the medium of passive aggressive gift mugs.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

Channel 4? Fuck. Now I’ll never get asked to do it.

Chortle Comedy

@chortle

4 years

Channel 4 poaches Taskmaster | Dave loses Alex Horne's show after nine series

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

My 8YO gave me a card with a No.1 Father of the Year rosette on it. I was standing next to my father-in-law at the time and couldn’t resist waving it in his face and saying, “There’s always next year”

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 years

It’s my birthday on Friday. I’m not going to say how old I am, but I’m thinking of treating myself to a mitre saw so that should give you a rough idea.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

6 years

Really sorry for those close to Ken Dodd for their tragic loss. Really happy for Ken Dodd, who got to live to be 90 and was still doing the job he loved right til the end.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

In case you haven’t heard, that new film “Stan and Ollie”, really is very good indeed. Although, it might make you cry a tiny bit. Not that it made me cry. I’m just saying it might make YOU cry. It didn’t make me cry at all. *sniff*

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

Me: Check it out. According to my garmin watch my fitness age is 20. Maybe I should give Leonardo DiCaprio a call. My wife: Go for it. Ask him if he knows anyone who can fix your broken garmin watch.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 months

Such sad news. Only met Dave a couple of times but he was so warm and friendly. A lovely bloke.

Hairy Bikers

@HairyBikers

3 months

Hi everyone, I’m afraid I bear some sad news. Most of you will know Dave has been fighting cancer for the past couple of years. Last night, on 28th February 2024, with Lili, Dave’s wife, his family, close friend David and myself by his side, he passed away peacefully at home. All

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

2 years

For the second time this holiday season I have been made to feel weird because my favourite Christmas song is Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

4 years

@daraobriain You never talk that way to @ProfBrianCox

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

6 years

Yes. I’m Ed Byrne.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

6 years

There are worse views could greet a man after the final gig of his tour. Cheers Oban

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 years

This is incredible. The dude is a Fast Show character made real.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

9 months

Edinburgh! It’s been a blast. Easily the most emotional Fringe Festival I’ve experienced, but those emotions have been largely positive. Good luck to those crazy fools doing a show tonight.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

When I was a very new comic (barely making a living) I was rendered suddenly and temporarily homeless (bad break up). Stewart Lee, a man I had only met a handful of times, let me crash in his spare room for two weeks.

Nooruddean

@BeardedGenius

5 years

In your particular field, who really helped you out when you were starting out? Like took you under their wind or did you a massive favour or was dead nice when you were unsure about yourself?

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

8 years

I'm not saying Twitter is ruining my life but, as I type this, I'm currently coming last in the parents race at school sports day.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

Trig point on the summit of Sgairneach Mhor. 1st of (hopefully) 4 munros today.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

7 years

To win an argument with a fuckwit, you must think like a fuckwit.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

Just before the final joke of tonight’s show I’m distracted by a weird noise that could be a siren, could be a phone ringing. Turns out it’s a woman in the audience who has an alarm that reminds her to take her tablets. Funniest moment of the show!

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

7 years

Why wasn't Prince in the BAFTA memorial? He starred in 3 films, directed one, and won a fucking Oscar for Purple Rain.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

3 years

It has come to my attention that my run on @richardosman House of Games begins this evening on BBC2 at 6pm. Behold my reservoir of useless knowledge.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

5 years

Always odd when you post something benign/banal about going for a jaunt up a mountain, then have wee scroll and realise how out of place that tweet is going to look amid the political commentary about the latest constitutional crisis.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

6 years

*sings* Oh what a beautiful moooorning! Wife: It’s the afternoon you lazy shit. *stops singing*

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

6 years

For the past few days I’ve been doing some DIY/building projects around my home and the glacial speed with which I am progressing has really hammered home to me just how hopelessly unemployable I would be if it weren’t for comedy.

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Ed Byrne

@MrEdByrne

8 years

In other news, watched Phantom Menace with my kids. Both said Jar Jar Binks was "really funny". Just when I was really getting to like them.

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