Alex @MarklewA Twitter profile

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Alex

@MarklewA

4 years

Another big day for confirmation bias.

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Alex

@MarklewA

2 years

@benandjerrys You’d think an ice cream company would have heard of the Cold War.

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Alex

@MarklewA

6 years

The odd layout of the Telegraph’s online comment page, which puts byline pics for one story above the headlines for another, provides another winner.

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Alex

@MarklewA

8 months

What's particularly impressive about the Tory handling of HS2 is that they've managed to crack on with building the bit through their electoral heartland where it's widely despised while cancelling the bit where people actually want it and it might win them some votes.

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@MarklewA

1 year

I can’t help but notice how many media types are referring to Jared O’Mara’s “5 gram a day cocaine habit” as if everyone has the frame of reference to understand whether that’s a lot or a little.

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@MarklewA

11 months

I’m fairly confident that if Tommy Robinson stood on a stage in the middle of London and said “If you see a Muslim, punch them”, Clive would not respond with “obviously this is wrong, but let’s not forget that some Muslims use violent and threatening language too.”

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Alex

@MarklewA

8 months

The authority COULD use this money to extend the Nottingham tram system to serve Clifton South, although it seems excessive to do this given that it would simply replicate the extension of the Nottingham tram system to Clifton South that opened eight years ago.

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@MarklewA

1 year

@Western_Trad I went to Italy recently and was shocked to see this man trying to push over a famous monument, it’s time we acted

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Alex

@MarklewA

1 year

John Key, resigning as PM of New Zealand in 2017: “I have nothing left in the tank.” Jacinda Ardern, resigning as PM of New Zealand in 2023: “I no longer have enough in the tank.” Wise British commentators: “No male politician would ever be so honest.”

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Alex

@MarklewA

2 months

Amazing how many of the WASPI moaners claim to have calculated their retirement finances down to the very last penny yet somehow didn’t bother to so much as read a newspaper in the decade or so before they were due to finish work.

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@MarklewA

6 months

Britain Elects

@BritainElects

6 months

Westminster voting intention: LAB: 45% (-) CON: 22% (-) REF: 11% (+1) LDEM: 10% (+1) GRN: 7% (-) via @YouGov

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@MarklewA

1 year

“Developers just want to build executive homes on the green belt!” “OK, so can we build 21 two-bed flats on a car park?” “Absolutely not.”

Revised application to build 21 flats in car park of Aylesbury beauty spot is rejected

Hundreds of residents objected to the proposals

www.bucksherald.co.uk

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Alex

@MarklewA

2 years

The first three images are from a story in today’s Times. The fourth is from the “come and work for us” section of the Times’ publisher’s website.

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@MarklewA

2 months

British Prime Ministers with sheep, a short thread. Rishi Sunak, 2022- present

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@MarklewA

2 months

“The death in custody of Fred West, a 53-year-old Gloucestershire builder…”

Amnesty International

@amnesty

2 months

The death in custody of Walid Daqqa, a 62-year-old Palestinian writer who was the longest-serving Palestinian prisoner in Israeli jails after 38 years of imprisonment, is a cruel reminder of Israel’s disregard for Palestinians’ right to life ⬇️

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Alex

@MarklewA

1 year

OMG! The Department for Transport PAID for accident investigation officials to fly to Aberdeen to conduct an investigation! Under Labour these freeloaders would be expected to WALK. #GPCFiles

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@MarklewA

7 years

Man on my train is sharing a beer with his dog because otherwise the terrorists win. #WeAreNotAfraid

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@MarklewA

1 year

I can’t help but think that if Anne Sacoolas was a Brit who had killed an American in the US and then fled the country, she’d now be looking at 15 years in a supermax.

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@MarklewA

3 months

@chilternrailway I always buy a ticket, but only rarely have a train that's not delayed, overcrowded, cancelled, filthy and so on. Most of your passengers are not criminals - your senior management team most certainly are.

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@MarklewA

2 years

@stefanroberts

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Alex

@MarklewA

4 years

@AndrejNkv 🎵I don’t believe in washing hands - it’s a Big Soap conspiracy / I didn’t vaccinate my kids cos they’ve got herd immunity / And even now I’m coughing blood and oozing from a fetid cyst / I’m still the model of a Twitter epidemiologist 🎵

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@MarklewA

1 year

@JWall970 That’s kind of my point.

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@MarklewA

7 years

@MaraWilson Jet fuel can't melt male egos

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Alex

@MarklewA

1 year

“Downed a litre of vodka before an interview,” most people can read that and think “woah, that’s excessive”. “5 grams of cocaine” is… lots? Maybe?

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Alex

@MarklewA

11 months

Totally ruined by the lack of a shirt sponsor, what’s even the point? #NFFC

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Alex

@MarklewA

1 year

Back when I was a govt press officer I once had to babysit a visiting Whitehall corr who had been v critical of civil service “waste”. I asked if he wanted a drink, and when he requested a cappuccino I had to tell him that we were literally only allowed to serve tap water.

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Alex

@MarklewA

7 years

@AshleyRParker

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Alex

@MarklewA

21 days

@TheFamousArtBR Man tells women to shut up and go away, more at 11.

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Alex

@MarklewA

2 years

@Kukicat7 On the bright side, at least this shows that when the machines become sentient their plan to take over the world will be hampered by the all-too human instinct to march on Russia in the winter.

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Alex

@MarklewA

17 days

This Mother’s Day I’m thinking of all the people for whom it’s a difficult time, specifically British people using the internet who keep panicking that they’ve missed something.

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Alex

@MarklewA

1 year

When I was at DCMS almost a decade ago the dept was being asked to adopt the “agent of change” principle into law, so that people who move next door to a pub that hosts live music can’t then have its entertainment licence removed if they don’t like the noise.

Sam Bowman

@s8mb

1 year

“In 2014 a neighbour moved to one of the houses bordering the ground and in 2018 began raising issues about balls hitting her fence and landing in the garden.” 😩

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Alex

@MarklewA

1 year

@FootballCliches @TheAthleticFC Eight of them have the surname O’Hara,

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@MarklewA

1 year

@TheDreadShips Always delighted by the fact that first-ever ejectee Bernard Lynch looks exactly like a 1940s British test pilot should

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Alex

@MarklewA

7 years

@ChukaUmunna No, we're not some dictatorship, which is why we're having an election.

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Alex

@MarklewA

4 months

@joncstone @rcolvile How is it not attempted murder? If he’d stabbed him in a “moment of madness” I suspect the police and CPS would have taken things a bit more seriously.

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Alex

@MarklewA

8 months

I recall once having an argument with a DfT official who insisted that Luton Airport was in the East Midlands and that there was no rivalry at all between Derby and Nottingham and it seems they're still struggling with that particular corner of the world.

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Alex

@MarklewA

2 months

Margaret Thatcher, 1979 - 1990

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@MarklewA

2 months

Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, 1997-2010

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Alex

@MarklewA

1 year

Reminder that this is what various people were demanding happen in the UK in early 2021. From this incredible account of the US vaccine “roll-out”:

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Alex

@MarklewA

9 months

@GillianKeegan But what about all the other reasons they might collapse?

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Alex

@MarklewA

1 year

@K__Eliot I’d either leave out the exact measure and say something like “huge quantities every day” or link it to the price and call it a “£x00 a day cocaine habit”.

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@MarklewA

1 year

@MForstater @hopenothate @lowles_nick “And then mum said I’m not allowed out until I tidy my room because she’s such a FASCIST.”

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Alex

@MarklewA

6 months

@joncstone @Alex99021407 @QWERTYu85876314 Sadiq Khan would be talking about the social justice impact of climate change on London’s poorest flood-prone communities prompting the usual suspects to call it a woke net zero cash-splurge.

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Alex

@MarklewA

1 year

That’s a big “yes” from me, Vox, you bunch of cranky old racists

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Alex

@MarklewA

6 years

@darrenrovell @keiths @budlight Haven’t the people of Cleveland suffered enough without having Bud Light thrust upon them?

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Alex

@MarklewA

7 years

@jonfavs Come on, Jon, it's unfair to judge the man simply based on his words and actions.

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Alex

@MarklewA

1 year

@Tonisenior Tell them it’s being used to illegally stream football

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@MarklewA

5 months

@nuclear5over1 Nothing says “progressive left-winger” quite like “if they don’t like it they should be sent back where they came from”

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@MarklewA

10 months

@ayeshahazarika But not a bank holiday

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@MarklewA

8 months

I am genuinely looking forward to an election campaign in which they try and brand this “the parent tax”.

Greg Hands

@GregHands

8 months

Parent Tax alert : ‘Labour’s tax raid could force us to sell our house – just to keep my son at school’

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@MarklewA

3 months

@sharonodea The loop at the east end of the central line. Simply an over-the-top way of allowing trains to turn around once they get to Leytonstone.

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Alex

@MarklewA

3 years

@DKThomp @TomChivers Reminds me of this

Alex

@MarklewA

6 years

The odd layout of the Telegraph’s online comment page, which puts byline pics for one story above the headlines for another, provides another winner.

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Alex

@MarklewA

4 years

My theory: London is mainly filled with people from outside London who retain an affection for their home towns. But the people in those home towns roundly despise all the people who moved to London because they’re the sort of people who move to London.

Matt Chorley

@MattChorley

4 years

Love the north, hate London With all the talk of regional rivalries, we asked @yougov to find out what we think of other areas.

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@MarklewA

3 years

@scrapegroat A side issue, I know, but “assigned at birth” continues to drive me potty. As if there’s a cabal of midwives arbitrarily deciding what sex newborns are.

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@MarklewA

11 months

@Ned_Donovan I’m reminded of Adrian Mole’s dad leaping out of bed in a panic before learning that the Falklands are not off the coast of Scotland

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@MarklewA

1 year

@NickFletcherMP Hi Nick, do you recommend any particular brand of glue or does it all have the same effect once you sniff it?

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@MarklewA

1 year

@LozzaFox Hi Lozza, long time follower first time replier, is there any particular brand of glue you recommend or do you find they all have the same effect?

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@MarklewA

1 year

@olifranklin @rcolvile @taffyakner

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@MarklewA

3 years

@gabrielmilland The England rugby team would’ve given us more forward passes in 80 minutes.

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@MarklewA

2 months

Liz Truss, Friday morning to Saturday teatime

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@MarklewA

1 year

@BBCMOTD This you?

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@MarklewA

1 year

@guardian This is the most smug, middle-class article I’ve read in a long time. And that’s really saying something given what a rich seam it is in the Guardian.

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@MarklewA

1 year

A Nottingham Forest shitposting account sharing a video of nothing happening (for comedy reasons) and then getting inundated with media requests for sharing rights is the tonic we all need in these difficult times.

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@MarklewA

1 year

Liz Truss, wanting to be PM of the UK in 2022: “I’m in a tank!”

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@MarklewA

7 years

FIFA: avoid the bother of a complicated qualifying process by simply staging a 211-nation World Cup finals tournament. @TwopTwips

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@MarklewA

3 years

@MooseAllain There’s a temporary one near us at the moment that just says “FAILED ROAD AHEAD”, which strikes me as a little harsh as I’m sure it was trying its best and doesn’t need to be publicly shamed.

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@MarklewA

3 years

@twlldun “You weren’t there man, I’ve seen things.”

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@MarklewA

7 months

SPEAKING AS A DAD, I can safely say that the fuck I give about the lack of a dad in the John Lewis advert is so tiny that even the finest minds at CERN have yet to devise a means of identifying whether it even exists, never mind whether it can be visible.

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@MarklewA

3 months

@thhamilton I'm now convinced there's a faction within CCHQ who have spent 27 years telling themselves that Blair only won by a landslide due to Team GB's poor performance at the Atlanta Olympics.

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@MarklewA

1 year

And I’ve spent much of my adult life pondering why people who really, really need a good night’s sleep and peace and quiet choose to live 300ft from the end of one of Europe’s busiest runways.

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@MarklewA

6 years

@sajidjavid Going to launch a petition to change the name of your department to The It’s Coming Home Office.

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@MarklewA

8 months

@chrispm87 What could possibly go wrong with this level of attention to detail at DfT?

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@MarklewA

2 years

@FatsOvercoat I like how someone criticising OJ without tagging him in - so literally just disagreeing with a professional opinion-haver - is “a troll” while organising a pile on against someone with a tiny fraction of your follower count is perfectly reasonable behaviour.

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@MarklewA

7 years

@ParlyApp Ken Clarke is the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts

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@MarklewA

4 years

@twlldun Well I’m a nice, middle-class, office-working family man so I should be killed off early. BUT I plan to be the brutal sociopathic warlord leader type who is revealed, in a flashback episode of the 7th series of the TV adaptation, to have led a normal, sane life Before The Fall.

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@MarklewA

7 months

Before Crossrail, nobody had ever left zone one before

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@MarklewA

4 years

@janemerrick23 @markdavies67 I’ve grown root vegetables that are deeper thinkers than Morrissey.

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@MarklewA

10 months

@joshbythesea @OliverHallUK @aitchrobertson Cat Bin Lady was British, she can sub in

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@MarklewA

6 months

@Psythor 150 years from now, someone will be sharing pictures of this with "NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO BUILD LIKE THIS ANYMORE, WHAT HAVE WE LOST" and suchlike.

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@MarklewA

3 years

@AndrejNkv Hope you remembered to leave out a little something for his crowdfunder.

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@MarklewA

6 years

@Lin_Manuel I kind of miss the days when Facebook made you start everything with “is” and so talk about yourself in the third person.

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@MarklewA

2 years

@MrRBourne Hang on, bear with me, we’ll get there in the end:

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@MarklewA

2 months

David Cameron, 2010-2016

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@MarklewA

3 months

@chilternrailway @keepingHealthy7 If I travel without a ticket and get stopped, can I just tell the “revenue protection officers” that if they’re unhappy they should fill out a web form?

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@MarklewA

3 months

@rcolvile We should be grateful for them winning the war that they were born 15 years after.

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@MarklewA

2 months

Boris Johnson, 2019-2022

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@MarklewA

4 years

@willperrin I’ve asked this in interviews at the army for 30 years: What killing do you do at home? Many answer they dont have time. Wrong. Practice sniping at home. Every day. If you dont have that passion, the army isn't really for you. Invade small nations. Do bayonet jams.

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@MarklewA

3 years

@sarahditum Stonewall could so easily have ended their statement after “Nobody should ever be pressured into dating, or pressured into dating people they aren't attracted to,” but unfortunately they needed to add a “but…”

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@MarklewA

14 days

@twlldun It’s been a vintage week for progressive liberal Americans furiously demanding that the world only exist through their eyes.

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@MarklewA

2 months

Theresa May, 2016 - 2019

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@MarklewA

1 year

@Shivandavis @MichaelPDeacon It’s certainly hard to imagine the Guardian talking about other rapists and murderers in this way.

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@MarklewA

9 months

@TomChivers @g_leech_ The undisputed GOAT

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@MarklewA

5 years

A good freelance #speechwriter offers three levels of service.

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@MarklewA

2 years

@guardian “Many predicted that letting independent democracies choose their own alliances would upset fascist dictators. Those warnings were, rightly, ignored.”

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@MarklewA

3 years

Do people who talk about “non existent track and trace” think the *seven million* tests conducted last week just appeared out of thin air? That the swabs grow on trees, are harvested by volunteers and test themselves for free?

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@MarklewA

6 months

Me: I just bought two bags of shopping at Tesco and it cost me more than £85, life is so expensive these days. The entire government: AN EVENT THAT I HAVE NO INVOLVEMENT IN ISN’T PLAYING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM!

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@MarklewA

5 months

An acquaintance who works in housing writes: “I don’t have time to read all of Gove’s planning proposals, so I’ll just assume the fact Theresa Villiers has welcomed them means they’ll make it harder to build homes.”

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@MarklewA

2 months

John Major, 1990-1997

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@MarklewA

11 months

I’m of the strong opinion that speechwriters who do the whole “I looked at a map and found three places that are quite different but start with the same letter” thing should be drummed out of the profession and ideally tarred and feathered pour encourager les autres.

Robert Colvile

@rcolvile

11 months

‘The health benefits matter just as much in Hartlepool and Hastings as in Harley Street’

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@MarklewA

3 years

@NFFC @MacronSports @weareboxt @UK_Meds @AlexMighten10 @StuartBroad8 @itsLeighWood “Now you too can experience the thrill of walking around the A-block telling people to sit down”

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Alex

@MarklewA

1 year

@sarahditum @hannahsbee A fantastic piece of writing, thank you. This paragraph puts into words something I’ve been thinking for a while now, that if confused, angry, messed-up and experimental 11/12 year old me had been born 25 years later things would have turned out very different.

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