Kat Timpf @KatTimpf Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@borrowed_ideas

@FEK_esports

@ImLiteralLarry1

@dandindan

@TracyWiles

@BigNillCollect

@Boziste

@lokitrick_JP

@PoyntonHigh

@saudiinusa_1

@nikitakhandwala

@saudiinusa_1

@AJA_Palestine

@vite_js

@Ziyan_Su420

@ConkerLover

@yuritaflowers

@anne_clarke

@mxchcuevas

@ProjectHVN

@Gene5AK

@giga_osaka

@MB_CSGO

@MistressMegxoxo

@Dentoshi

@kn0nker

@AudiUK

@GlobalRabbi

@VLUM_official

@Misterhelmet

@Adventurer_Ryza

@therealrparsons

@biljanicaaa

@AJC_DoesItAll

@asuna_mizushima

Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

I know everything is polarized these days, but I still have a hard time understanding how we can’t all agree that the government creating a Disinformation Governance Board led by a person famous for spreading disinformation is a batshit, awful move.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

NY’s own contact tracing data showed that restaurants & bars were responsible for just 1.4 percent of infections. 1.4%, and Cuomo closes indoor dining. Stop pretending this man gives the slightest fuck about you, your livelihood, your mental health, or anything else except...

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

6 years

I thought I was bad with money until I saw people were giving theirs to Peter Strzok

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

It is absurd and draconian for a government to tell a dying person that they cannot take their chances with an experimental drug

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

I just turned off the news and put on a Ted Bundy documentary to relax

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

I love how much money we have all had to spend bailing out the airlines over and over again so that they can continue to just treat us more and more like shit 😎

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

6 years

The fact that Bill Clinton is able to be featured at an event with $745 tickets after so many sexual assault and misconduct accusations blows my mind.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

I will say this: I once bummed a cig from John McAfee years ago at the Libertarian Convention in Orlando and we talked for 15 minutes and I’ve been bored every second of my life compared to that conversation

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

6 years

Quick reminder that if you only have a problem with predatory men when they're in the opposite political party then you're garbage.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

Remarkable but true

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

This was filmed on Thursday and my face still hurts

Gutfeld!

@Gutfeldfox

4 years

Nancy Pelosi endorses Joe Biden. #Gutfeld

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

If you support eliminating student loan debt for other borrowers, then what you should do is… that. Go ahead and send some people some cash!

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

It’s not important to argue in favor of the Second Amendment so much as it is important to remind people that the Second Amendment *is* the argument. Delegitimizing a right creates a path to delegitimize other rights. If all of our rights don’t matter, then none of them do.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

1 year

Today I’m 100 days vape-free. If you don’t get why that’s a big deal, here I am in 2016.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

Hi my name is New York City and I charge you a million dollars in taxes and spend them on public campaigns about how vegetables are good for you instead of backup generators

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Thank u to everyone who has ever been nice to me even if it was only once and you thought I was someone else I love u

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

1 year

Joanne, thank you so much for this. This is the absolute funniest thing I have seen all day long and I cannot stop laughing.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Has it ever occurred to you soap-and-hand-sanitizer hoarders that it is actually in your best health interest to allow the other people in your community to wash their hands as well

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

My mom might have died young, but the fact that she would always refer to any and every girl in school who bullied me as “what’s her tits” — and only as “what’s her tits” — lives on in my heart forever.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Some personal news...

Andrew Wimsatt 🖐

@ajwimsatt

4 years

So this was an unexpected and very pleasant surprise on the @greggutfeld show! @kattimpf @mattwelch @nancyromm

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

I was just ran out of an establishment because of where I work. Chewed out, abused. But I guess that’s the norm now.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Ladies! If you’re quarantined with your boo, now is a great time to bring up all of the issues you’ve been letting slide in the relationship — no matter how minor. He literally cannot leave; he has no choice but to talk it out! Some say keep the peace; I say seize the day!

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

The people who pretend to be so tolerant and accepting are honestly the biggest bullies I have ever encountered. This is not a talking point, this is my experience. Tonight marks the 4th incident I’ve had where I was unwelcome somewhere because of where I work.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

I genuinely hope that none of the people who are saying I deserved what happened to me ever have to experience the fear and humiliation that comes with being publicly harassed.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

I was a huge Trump supporter. I wouldn’t even shower without my MAGA hat on, because it felt too disloyal. However, thanks to the dogged reporting of @CNN , @Acosta , @nytimes , etc., I now realize that he posted a photoshopped image of him & a dog. I now support @ewarren .

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Unpopular opinion: You are allowed to both believe in the importance of wearing a mask while also simultaneously thinking that it sucks

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

6 years

HAND DRYERS DO NOT WORK EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN BORN HAS BEEN DISAPPOINTED TO SEE A HAND DRYER INSTEAD OF PAPER TOWELS

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

Hi my name is @BilldeBlasio and I can’t be in New York City during the blackout because I am running for President and I will get at least 2 votes because I have fully secured mine and my wife’s

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

If you have ever been nice to me or even had a nice thought in your mind just wanna say thank you so much

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

I kind of hate hearing the phrase “the new normal” in discussions about this pandemic. None of this is normal. We are all living in a way that humans are not meant to live. Just because something is enduring, that doesn’t make it “normal.”

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

1 year

Imagine not having insomnia? You just… sleep? When you want to?

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

There is truly no reason to cancel debates. We can have them virtually if necessary. Have them on Zoom. Let it be a shitshow. That is, after all, a pretty accurate representation of what all of this is.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

You guys remember places? We would go to them? Wild.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

I already knew that the military industrial complex was a BS machine — but watching my Afghan war vet husband struggle with how the sacrifices he (and his dead classmates) made were for the sake of lining the pockets of liars has been newly infuriating. Accountability now.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

The more the government has gotten involved in college education, the less affordable it’s become. Please explain to me how anyone could possibly hold the position that getting the government *more* involved is the answer to making it more affordable.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

As a capitalist, I disagree with @AOC on most of her policy views. I’m also a former waitress. It was my only option to make money while trying to further my career. I’d never criticize @AOC for doing the same as a bartender. No one should.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

I am curious to know what you think bringing a woman’s personal/sexual life into this accomplishes. Men do that to us enough as it is. I’m honestly asking.

Tomi Lahren

@TomiLahren

5 years

Kamala did you fight for ideals or did you sleep your way to the top with Willie Brown?

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Them: How’s your quarantine going? Me:

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

Would anyone like to give me some attention

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

I might hate myself a little, sometimes more, but honestly? I’d rather hate myself 1000 percent than be so over-the-moon in love with myself that I think a video of me singing cheesy commie trash from my mansion will make people in extreme crisis feel better cuz I’m so great

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

You own significantly more wealth than I, or most Americans, do. You’re a millionaire. You have never offered to give that lifestyle up for the sake of giving some of that coin to the people you claim to fight for. That is also a fact.

Bernie Sanders

@BernieSanders

5 years

Three billionaires own more wealth than the bottom half of the country. That is a fact.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

1 year

Tonight is the last night in my hometown unless I hit my head on this local-brewery-bathroom counter and am awoken back to consciousness by my high school crush who then convinces me to leave my Big City Marriage and Lifestyle @hallmarkchannel

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

ICYMI, here I am as Jen Psaki...

Gutfeld!

@Gutfeldfox

3 years

Ever wonder what Jen Psaki is like when she's not at the press podium? #Gutfeld

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Does anyone think independently? Does anyone aim to see nuance? Is anyone more interested in solutions than partisanship? Does anyone at least try to view situations objectively? Is anyone focusing on how to make things better more than how to make their “side” look better?

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Told my dad that my boyfriend and I were going to be coming home together for Christmas. He informed me that he has set up “BUNK BEDS” for us in the guest room. I am 31.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

Look who’s hosting tonight at 11 👀😼 @Gutfeldfox

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

In college I tried to stalk my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend on Facebook but accidentally made her name my status instead so don’t tell me I’ve never been through anything

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

I’ve never seen Titanic. My mom told me I wasn’t allowed to see it because boobs were in it. I told her, what’s the big deal, I’ll have boobs someday. Joke’s on me.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

Sometimes I have trouble falling asleep because I’m worried I won’t be able to fall asleep, even though it is a weird thing to worry about doing wrong in the first place

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

I wish I had fewer Twitter followers so I could say what I really think about Epstein without career-ending consequences

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

I want to see a female president but last time the option was a warmongering victim-blamer & this time it looks like it will be a white woman who thinks she’s qualified to take and redistribute individuals’ paychecks even though it took her until her 60s to realize she was white

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

If all the people who hate me on the Internet could just hang out with me they would love me and if all the people who love me on the Internet could just hang out with me they would hate me

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

9 years

When I die, instead of a eulogy, I want someone to read things Internet commenters have written about me bc they always have the right idea.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

“I’ve always been a little awkward when it comes to goodbyes, so I’m just going to come right out and say it...”

Saying Goodbye | National Review

Thank you, NR, for taking a chance on me, for supporting me.

www.nationalreview.com

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

You’re right, Deb. I should live and die in a turtleneck so you don’t have to endure seeing evidence of the circulatory system that keeps me alive. I will be sure to always “where” one from now on!

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

I watched the whole Hillary Hulu thing and I have to say? Her life is my goal. I wish, in the wake of all of MY failures, I would be granted four hours of glowing propaganda about how great I am on a major streaming service and GET PAID FOR IT

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

Wait I’ve been in Italy is this real

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Found out from my doorman yesterday that a couple of transients broke into my apartment building this week, held a maintenance guy at knifepoint & trashed the breakroom — including leaving used tampons on the floor — & that people have been getting mugged out front.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

...looking like he is “doing something” so he can continue to parade himself around as a hero. What’s worse is how many people allow him to continue this ego-driven bullshit — either by praising him despite the facts, or silently standing by as if the facts don’t exist. Enough.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Hi my name is Kamala Harris. I made a career out of arresting people for nonviolent crimes and now I don’t understand why people didn’t want to vote for me.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

Can someone please explain to me how the executive branch moving to ban a product nationwide is Constitutional, let alone “conservative”?

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

Biden showing up to give a whole speech about booster shots without even mentioning Afghanistan reminds me of the time a guy I was seeing screamed at me and called me horrible names and then just texted me “Hey how are you babe” a few days later like nothing happened.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

I just returned home safely from an island vacation without posting even a single picture of my butt on Instagram. Just want to make sure everyone out there realizes that this is in fact possible.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

This afternoon, I saw three separate people shooting up on the street while I was walking to a coffee shop. When I arrived, I was told that I could no longer get a shot of CBD in my coffee because the government had banned it.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

AOC talks a lot of sh*t about capitalism for someone with a French bulldog 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

It’s hilarious to me that people didn’t realize that the owner of their gym that charges $300 a month is a capitalist

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

Am I the only person in the world who understands that health care and health insurance are different things

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

@AOC

5 years

That’s okay - I’ll fight for their right to healthcare anyway.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

I am thankful for everyone who has threatened to murder me on social media deciding to not follow through 🥰🦃

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

Hey remember when @JustinTrudeau corrected a woman for using the word “mankind,” telling her to use “peoplekind” instead? I do.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

I am not gonna wear a mask outside seeing as I am vaccinated and there is no scientific reason to do so and I hope other vaccinated people will do the same with me so we can check out each other’s faces like in the old days

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

I don’t understand the concept of a bachelorette party. Like, if you didn’t take advantage of your single years as they were happening, drinking out of a penis straw next to your cousin isn’t gonna make up for that

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

To be fair I think that I could also personally capture this man

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

Keep in mind they probably took at least 37 takes of this. And this was the best one.

Behind 2020

@behind2020

5 years

Kirsten Gillibrand relaxes after working a gay bar in Iowa

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

After a good deal of reflection and talking with people I trust, I have decided that I will be throwing my full support behind @BetoORourke for president

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

Letting Jussie Smollett off the hook is a slap in the face to real victims of real hate crimes, as well as to the Chicago Police Department. This was not a victimless crime.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

I love when stores send me emails like “Hey! We haven’t heard from you…” like ya bro I bought a dress from you three years ago what do we have to talk about

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

It’s weird when people don’t seem to realize that collusion would be objectively bad and therefore you should be objectively happy if there was no collusion but what do I know I’m just a lady

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

This isn’t defiance. It’s you making a personal choice, as you are permitted to do.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Came all the way home to spend time with my family only for my sister to just now tell me that I had apparently accidentally liked one of her boyfriend’s shirtless beach pics four months ago. Christmas is ruined.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

10 months

Nothing says Independence Day like having the entirety of my body and belongings searched by government TSA officials without cause 😎

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

I am a woman. I face a unique set of challenges that men do not face strictly because of it. The phrase “you guys” has never caused me, or any even moderately sane human, even the slightest level of distress. Making an issue out of non-issues minimizes the real ones. Grow up.

NowThis Impact

@nowthisimpact

5 years

‘Hey guys’ seems innocuous, but here’s why you might want to try a different greeting

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

You, sir, are an asshole who knows nothing about me or my life or what I have had to overcome to get where I am.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

At 21, I was accepted into Columbia's graduate journalism school -- my dream since childhood. I decided to not go bc I knew I couldn't afford the loan. It was the best decision I've ever made. More on why here: "

Elizabeth Warren's Student Debt Plan Misses the Point

Our culture is one that preaches that furthering your education is something that is always worth the price tag, but that simply isn’t the case.

www.nationalreview.com

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

I posted a picture last night of me just chilling on my couch with my cat without makeup on because it was my day off. Since then, I have been overwhelmed by messages from people telling me that they hope I feel better & offering their best home remedies. I’m not sick

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

I completely understand how you accidentally publicly accused a person of genocide. It happens to everyone. One time I accidentally called my teacher mom.

Nicolle Wallace

@NicolleDWallace

5 years

I misspoke about Trump calling for an extermination of Latinos. My mistake was unintentional and I’m sorry. Trump’s constant assault on people of color and his use of the word “invasion” to describe the flow of immigrants is intentional and constant.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

I am sorry for what Taylor Swift is going through. She is being screwed over. I also just find myself wishing that I could, even just once, get screwed over while chilling in one of my multiple mansions with an on-site makeup artist.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

I am behind a guy in line at the pharmacy who has condoms in one hand and pregnancy tests in the other and all I want to do is ask him if they are for same or different women

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

So most of these vaping illnesses are coming from black-market THC products, but the solution is to make *legal* vaping products *less* available? Driving more people to said market? How has such an obviously illogical narrative become the prevalent one?

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

Kids being forced to act like grown-ups even though they’re just kids is literally recognized as a form of childhood trauma.

Dan Rather

@DanRather

2 years

When it comes to wearing masks, most children seem to be acting like grown-ups, taking it in stride. I would say many adults are acting like children, but that’s not fair to kids.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

7 months

I am gonna be 35 at the end of the month and I honestly can’t wait for men to not want to have sex with me anymore

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

Hi my name is @BetoORourke and I am going to take certain guns away from their law-abiding, responsible owners. After all, the mere ownership of a certain type of gun inherently means you’ll probably use it for mass murder, but thankfully I’m here to save the day!

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

5 years

Hi @AOC l

Gutfeld!

@Gutfeldfox

5 years

. @KatTimpf shreds the Green New Deal #Gutfeld

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

1 year

The way I keep seeing this reported as if I was actually serious & genuinely upset about an M&M — rather than as the obvious, that I was being deliberately unhinged & making a joke on a literal comedy show — is a great example of what’s wrong with media. (But also kinda funny)

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

3 years

I will never understand how the generation who grew up watching Eric Cartman feed Scott Tenorman a chilli made from his dead parents became so obsessed with canceling people over offensive jokes.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

Am I the only one still concerned about Biden’s #OilCancer ?

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

To me, there’s too much focus on the specific people in power and not enough on the amount of power that those people have

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Dinner at a luxury resort in St. Lucia. All the other chicks are wearing fancy dresses and holding clutches that say “Mrs.” in gold glitter. Clearly on honeymoons. I personally, am in athletic shorts and a Misfits hoodie and just asked for more potatoes.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Partisan politics aside, the idea of a 62 percent tax rate in the United States is literal batshit insanity. Even more insane is the fact that people will call this country the “land of opportunity” at the same time they are calling for literally penalizing success.

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

4 years

Unpopular opinion: If we lived in a truly free society, rather than one where power is concentrated among a handful of individuals, we wouldn’t have to be so freaked out about the death of a single Supreme Court justice

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Kat Timpf

@KatTimpf

2 years

She is hosting @Gutfeldfox tonight

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