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Graeme Garden Profile
Graeme Garden

@GraemeGarden1

71,246
Followers
910
Following
53
Media
2,511
Statuses

England, United Kingdom
Joined January 2012
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
4 years
Thank you everyone who has sent kind messages about the loss of Tim. It’s devastating to lose a friend and colleague of 50+ years. Fun, sociable and adorably silly, Tim was a class act. Our thoughts are with his family.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 months
News to me
@fraac1
fraac
6 months
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
2 years
In 2013 on The Infinite Monkey Cage David Spiegelhalter and I were asked what was the greatest threat to humanity. I suggested a flu-like pandemic, he said an Energy Crisis. I’d call that a 1-all draw…so far.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
10 years
. @realDonaldTrump So you've decided not to run?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
1 year
Many thanks to everone kind enough to send me birthday wishes. Much appreciated. Same time next year?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
2 years
Was Flushing Meadows named after W C Fields?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
5 years
Saddened by the loss of a brilliantly funny, kind and thoughtful friend. RIP Jeremy.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 years
7 months after the actual birthday, but what a cake!
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
2 years
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@Martin_OGorman
Martin O'Gorman
2 years
One of the greatest pieces of television of all time is 50 years old today. #KittenKong50 @GraemeGarden1 @BillOddie
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 years
@MelanieLatest Somebody please tell Melanie Phillips her Twitter account has been hacked by a lunatic.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
5 years
Is it white chocolate? There's an arse and a half in every bar.
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
In a hotel room in Cardiff. Where there is a weird three-buttocked 3-D mural.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
5 years
The laughter isn't canned, it's the genuine response of a live audience. However we could persuade those taking part not to say anything funny if you think that would enhance your father-in-law's enjoyment of the show.
@tonygreen7
Tony G
5 years
@UnbelieveTruth @RealDMitchell @sanditoksvig @RonJichardson @lucyportercomic @GraemeGarden1 @BBCRadio4 @BBCSounds My aged, hard of hearing father-in-law complained during today's broadcast that "the canned laughter ruins it" - is this something you can sort?!
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
1 year
@JohnCleese Not shown for only 20 years? Luxury!
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 years
We did some interviews yesterday to promote the Complete Goodies Box Set. We were up the old Post Office Tower. Quite a view.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
3 years
Iain was a wonderful writer. He was fiercely devoted to the rules of grammar and the mechanics of humour, which made whatever he wrote so elegant and funny. We will miss him for his words and his company.
@ISIHAClue
ISIHAC
3 years
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
4 years
No BBCTV plans to honour Tim or to mark the Goodies 50th anniversary. The Radio Times and BFI had planned a joint event to mark the 50th with the three of us on stage at the NFT, now cancelled of course.
@nomlet
Nomlet
4 years
@jamiesont Quite. @GraemeGarden1 had it even been mooted? Or are you not allowed to say?!
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Bring me the wedge of Sergio Garcia
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
2 years
Proud to support this great campaign to defend our precious NHS! Go to to take their 5 actions. Follow @YourNHS2021 & join the fight. Let's save this national treasure from the privatising Health Bill! #YourNHSNeedsYou
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
4 years
Such sad news. A lovely wise funny man.
@BritishComedy
British Comedy Guide
4 years
Comedian and musician Neil Innes has died aged 75. His work includes Monty Python, The Rutles and The Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band:
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Looking forward to joining the ISIHAC team at the Wycombe Swan Theatre next Monday 16th. It's been a while.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
4 years
Now that’s been cleared up, Boris and do can get back to work in the House of Cummings.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
4 years
We have a Royal Shakespeare Company and a Royal National Theatre. Isn’t now the time for a Royal National Health Service?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Ideally to have him turned back at Heathrow.
@Aiannucci
Armando Iannucci
7 years
Already over 10,000, which means Govt has to respond. 100,000 means it has to be considered for debate.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
5 years
Back in the day I think it was Barry Cryer in the bar of a Northern Club during the interval who overheard two lugubrious Yorkshiremen. A: What did you thiink to the Comic? B: He were all right. If you like laughing.
@tonygreen7
Tony G
5 years
@PeterSimmo @GraemeGarden1 @BBCRadio4 I don’t think the laughter obscured the contestants voices, it wasn’t meant to be a critique of the production. He just incorrectly assumed that the laughter was artificial for some reason. I told him at the time that it was real - he’s all good now, but thanks for your concern!
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Many thanks to well-wishers. I had to cut back performing this last year but am still writing, contributing and hoping to be back soon.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
8 years
A contract is a voluntary agreement between two or more parties. It cannot be imposed. You impose a rule or a punishment. Take your pick.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Can everyone please stop saying 'going forward'?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
5 years
MPs outraged at Corbyn's use of the word 'woman'. Nobody seems to object to him using the word 'stupid'.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
1 year
@NoContextBrits It’s amusing how many celebs have come right back with a ‘thank you’ to the folk who nominated them, as if they have trawled through the long list looking for their own name. And I’ve read all of them.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
5 years
Great comeback by Tiger Woods. Shall we have a ripple of applause for his surgeons?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
@Lord_Sugar To stop the rats from going ashore.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Many thanks for the birthday good wishes. Let's hope we're all here for the next one.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Happy Birthday Tim!
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 years
And after that we can long for the return of the iconic burgundy European passport.
@theJeremyVine
Jeremy Vine
6 years
'Iconic' blue British passport to return after Brexit
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
5 years
The Goodies Movie. A documentary that will be a must for all history scholars studying the 1970s. Register your interest and keep up to date with all the fantastic perks and merchandise that are being offered as part of the crowdfunding campaign.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 years
@JohnCleese You were repeated 17 years ago? Luxury!
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
2 years
Let's hope Matt Hancock appreciates all the votes he'll be getting for every Bush Tucker Trial.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
9 years
Bill Oddie's lost a bit of weight... http://t.co/Ufr9S9Yc2i
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 years
@Jacob_Rees_Mogg Thanks. Any more tips on how to help the opposition?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
3 years
Boatman's splendid book of puzzles. I've almost filled in Number 2!
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Let's all make 2017 a Happy New Year!
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
8 years
Nellie the elephant packed her trunk, and moved to Canada.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 years
In 1914 the 7th Infantry Division of the French Army was transported from Paris to the Battle of the Marne by taxis. Surely Trump could grab a brolly and hail a cab.
@davidfrum
David Frum
6 years
It's incredible that a president would travel to France for this significant anniversary - and then remain in his hotel room watching TV rather than pay in person his respects to the Americans who gave their lives in France for the victory gained 100 years ago tomorrow
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Graeme Garden
4 years
You think?
@CameronYardeJnr
Cameron Yarde Jnr
4 years
The highest rated sitcom repeat on BBC1 last week, was a 47 year old episode of Dad's Army from 1973 with nearly 4m. Interesting eh? Maybe a few repeats of sitcoms made before 2000 would do well over the Summer? You never know.
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Graeme Garden
7 years
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Graeme Garden
4 years
Wow! You could stack all that cash and it would make a nice coffee table.
@PhilipSerrell
Philip Serrell
4 years
Very excited as just had an email that someone in Uganda has left me $6,500,000,000. All I have to do is give them my bank details.
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Graeme Garden
2 years
We should have realised that the twisted spiral supporting the PM’s lectern was symbolic of the twists and u-turns to come.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
4 years
Person, Man, Woman, Camera, TV: five completely unrelated words we'll all remember forever. In the right order.
@SteveCavanagh_
Steve Cavanagh
4 years
I'm reasonably certain a dolphin has scored higher on this test than this guy. And he's stupid enough to be proud of it. Actually, that should be part of the test. If you think any part of it was tough you're an idiot.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
9 years
Bournemouth Pavilion tonight. Samantha's dressing room. #ISIHAC http://t.co/D8mMsX4oWA
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Graeme Garden
3 years
Strange place to have a door.
@mearns_tracy
Mrs C
3 years
Spoilt this morning, also sorry to the delivery man for opening the door to him in my pants. I’m sure he’s traumatised 😳😳😳😳
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Graeme Garden
5 years
Great news for Nurses - their annual pay will now have to start at £36K for the NHS to survive.
@exitthelemming
Samuel West 💙💛
5 years
This is advice from a right wing think tank, not yet government policy. But. @EquityUK : if these were actors in UK, what proportion would be allowed to stay? I’d guess 20% tops. Figures like this disbar the huge majority of artists, and not for artistic reasons
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
8 years
Now we know what that strange thing is that they hand to the Olympic medal-winners.
@guardiannews
Guardian news
8 years
How a 3D clitoris will help teach French schoolchildren about sex
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
8 years
Mexico - protect your border. Build a wall.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
4 years
Amazing! Thank you Alex
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 years
Thanks to everyone who came to the Birthday Bash at Chipping Norton Theatre last night, and special thanks to everyone who took part and sent messages. It was a marvellous evening for me and my family.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
4 years
In all this Cummings chatter has anyone mentioned how the child is? Fit and well I hope.
@piersmorgan
Piers Morgan
4 years
Transport Secretary Grant Schapps throwing himself under a bus this morning, via a multiple car crash & trainwreck. #ridge
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Graeme Garden
4 years
Is that why you want to get rid of the dirty cops?
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
4 years
Yesterday was a BIG day for Justice in the USA. Congratulations to General Flynn, and many others. I do believe there is MUCH more to come! Dirty Cops and Crooked Politicians do not go well together!
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Graeme Garden
8 years
The popular vote for Boaty-McBoatface was overruled. Do we expect the same ruling if Outy-McOutface wins the referendum?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Why do callers begin with "How are you today?" Why don't they just say "Hello, this is a cold call" and be done with it?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
If it’s illegal to use a mobile phone in a car, what about J Corden singing while driving with a live group and speed parking sideways?
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Graeme Garden
3 years
You must be very proud of her.
@JusticeAndDuty
Holden Caulfield
3 years
@GraemeGarden1 my daughter is 12 and she is always asking me to put on the Goodies!
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Graeme Garden
7 years
Peter Bradshaw (Guardian 30/3/2017) explains everything.
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Graeme Garden
5 years
Pictured just before the unfortunate accident.
@MadameGilflurt
Catherine Curzon
5 years
The splendidly named and not a little showy Banastre Tarleton, soldier, was born #onthisday in 1754. #gloriousGeorgians
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Graeme Garden
1 year
A very Happy Birthday to the indispensable Robin Ince.
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Graeme Garden
3 years
I'm nobody in particular but whever I have anything important to discuss with my wife, we do so as we walk round the apartment cleaning our teeth.
@watsoncomedian
Mark Watson
3 years
I’m a standup in a TV drama. If I’m about to have a difficult gig, the microphone screeches with feedback when I remove it from the stand.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 years
'THE GOODIES ARE COMING FOR YOU, AND YOU, AND YOU... ...and they want your questions. Send your question, together with your name to: TheGoodies @networkdistributing .com Questions must be received by 29th May.
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Graeme Garden
4 years
Strange. You'd think the Fake News would have noticed the Fake Crowds.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 years
Brilliantly restored.
@r3storestudios
R3store Studios
6 years
@BillOddie , @GraemeGarden1 & @TimBrookeTaylor unleash their surreal storylines on DVD in “The Goodie: The Complete BBC Collection”! R3store are proud to have restored this complete collection of episodes, for @networktweets Available now:
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
9 years
We shall miss the man who could write a line as perfect as ‘Her bosom rose and fell like an Empire.’ #TerryPratchett
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Graeme Garden
7 years
Yep, he tried everything in his power. And failed.
@FoxNews
Fox News
7 years
Hannity: This is not Trump's failure. The president went above & beyond, did everything in his power to get this bill across the finish line
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
8 years
HIPPOCAMPUS – Large African mammals at Butlins (The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary)
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
11 years
Why do these singers think it's impressive to sing all the notes the composer could have used but chose not to? #thevoiceuk
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
ARTICLE: To tease a pirate. (Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary)
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
5 years
OK, which one is the waxwork?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
5 years
It was a reference to Alvin Stardust, a popular crooner of the time, who wore leather gloves and used to point at the camera. If you're old enough to remember Seamus Android you're surely old enough to remember Alvin.
@lushattic
Gabriel Bell.
5 years
@quantick Its a great clip but why does @GraemeGarden1 put on the glove?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Probably the only person who can foresee how the Korean situation might develop is George R R Martin.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
3 years
Coined by the great Humphrey Lyttelton, actually.
@HamishSymington
Hamish Symington
3 years
@dontattempt @susie_dent @GylesB1 @abcmelbourne Not sure of the collective noun, but the noun for people like us is almost certainly 'orthinologists' (coined by @GraemeGarden1 , I believe) - it means 'word botchers'. (As far as I'm concerned there is no better mutilation of English than this - it's downhill from here.)
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Graeme Garden
12 years
Very proud to hear that 'I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue' is to be adopted as the BBC's new motto.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
8 years
OVALTINE – A fat adolescent (The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary)
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Watch this space...
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
3 years
Have they considered giving him a pre-emptive sentence?
@MichaelRosenYes
Michael Rosen 💙💙🎓🎓
3 years
Did I hear it right? Giuliani wants a pardon for crimes he hasn’t admitted to have committed?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
8 years
MEASLES – What artists use for self-portraits (The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary)
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
4 years
On Gogglebox, why can we never hear the TV programmes they are watching?
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Amazon news: ‘The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary’ now back in stock. Apparently the problem is that people keep buying them.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
3 years
Izzy, the photos of us on the trandem come from the Camelot episode, 1973, shot arounf Bodiam Castle. We made Snow White 2 in 1981 at Arundel Castle and that may well be one of our jousting lances.
@LadyGladrags
Izzy McKinley
5 years
@goodiespodcast @tobyfoster @amygracenagy @danmgreen @BillOddie @GraemeGarden1 Hi can you confirm that this was filmed at Arundel Castle? I am a gardener there and I have your joust pole which has been on the wall in the potting shed since the year I was born! Legend has it that it was yours from filming here :-D Here it is. I’m going to restore it. 😆
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
3 years
@pwotg That wig and make up worked better than I thought.
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Graeme Garden
8 months
Another cracker from the Boatman. The plot's a little hard to follow but it rattles along.
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Graeme Garden
4 years
Thank you for your kind words.
@back_the_BBC
Back the BBC 📺📻📡📱🔴
4 years
@GraemeGarden1 BBC TV is in a fair state of chaos at the moment as very little is getting made due to lockdown and the finances are being cut. I suspect anything will emerge around Christmas. Radio 4 did a 30 minute tribute though, and there aren't that many people who would get that
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
8 years
PAPAL – The Vatican system for donating online (The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary)
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Graeme Garden
8 years
NORWAY – A Geordie expression of surprise (topical) (The Complete Uxbridge English Dictionary)
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
8 years
Congratulations to Tom and Elli Garden! x
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Graeme Garden
4 years
You must be very proud.
@TheVickyMD
Victoria MacDonald FBII🔶
4 years
Home schooling........ the boy is listening to I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again whilst reading Bram Stoker's Dracula. That has to be an odd combination? Thoughts @GraemeGarden1 ? PS he's 12.
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Graeme Garden
7 years
Even more fun the day after (ie 21st) when Bristol SlapstickFest shows Chaplin’s ‘The Great Dictator’. #timing
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
7 years
Inauguration Day is turning out to be even bigger than expected. January 20th, Washington D.C. Have fun!
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
4 years
Everybody needs a hobby.
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
5 years
Bless.
@KoroushGhazi
Koroush Ghazi
5 years
It's taken me 30 years to come to the realisation that @GraemeGarden1 was the funniest Goody! Forgive me Graeme for I have sinned
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
7 years
Andrex! Surely if your small son said he wanted to be 'clean as a man called David' you would ask 'Who is this man called David?' Police!
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
2 years
These days a Philip Serrell autograph would probably get more.
@PhilipSerrell
Philip Serrell
2 years
Just been asked to sell some autographs- any idea on value @GraemeGarden1
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@GraemeGarden1
Graeme Garden
6 years
@chelsesaurusrex @misterspidergod Mind you, the painting is titled 'Daffodils'.
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