David Baddiel Profile Banner
David Baddiel Profile
David Baddiel

@Baddiel

875,261
Followers
3,533
Following
9,183
Media
77,668
Statuses

Jew

London
Joined January 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Pinned Tweet
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
1 year
Seems @Channel4 @all4 have changed their usual month-only availability window for my film, for which thanks to them.
401
60
913
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
My dad Colin Baddiel died earlier tonight. Thank so much to all of you who sent unbelievably lovely messages about him in response to all my posts over the years. He leaves a huge hole in my sky.
Tweet media one
12K
925
129K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
…coming…
Tweet media one
2K
4K
118K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
6 years
It’s just about still coming home.
Tweet media one
2K
24K
101K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Buried my dad today. We went after to toast him at Banners in Crouch End. Dining there, at the same time, was one of my heroes, Peter Gabriel, who came over to say hello. It lifted a day that had some bleakness. Thank you, God in whom I do not believe.
2K
1K
100K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
I feel I should take the job of Brexit Secretary now. If only so that when I resign, Theresa May can finally be proved right than No Deal is better than a Baddiel.
1K
16K
85K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
6 years
Home.
Tweet media one
1K
12K
77K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
So…it’s been a while since we were here for this particular fixture. #ENGGER
Tweet media one
996
4K
75K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
This has aged well.
@pritipatel
Priti Patel MP
3 years
This illegal gathering was an insult to those hospitalised with COVID, our NHS staff and everyone staying at home to protect them. Thank you to @MetPoliceUK officers for risking your own health to break it up. Police are enforcing the rules to save lives.
3K
4K
4K
343
10K
68K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
It being 25 years since Three Lions was first released, Frank just sent me this pic of this piece of paper. I didn't realise he still had it. Should be in the British Museum, surely...
Tweet media one
1K
4K
57K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
Please, please, please can one of the journos say to him, "But...having a small child not at school, and one parent being ill...in a pandemic...is *not* exceptional circumstances. It's really fucking unexceptional."
629
8K
56K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
It’s…
Tweet media one
991
4K
53K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Is one allowed to ask who is paying for all this, or will one be arrested?
4K
5K
49K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
At my dad’s house to sort stuff out. Very weird to see his chair without him in it. That’s life: and indeed, death.
Tweet media one
2K
393
49K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
Personally, I'd say fucking a prostitute is considerably more moral than fucking the country.
@piersmorgan
Piers Morgan
5 years
Halo Hugh... Britain’s moral standard-bearer. 🙏
Tweet media one
4K
787
7K
1K
4K
45K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
That this shit is on here and not taken down and from a verified account is just fucking staggering.
Tweet media one
2K
4K
45K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
Two of my cats have formed a retro 80s electro-pop duo. Here's their first album cover.
Tweet media one
3K
5K
44K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Whether he’s Sir Mo Farah or Hussein Abdi Kahin he’s a hero.
Tweet media one
610
2K
44K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
8 years
Well @RealJamesWoods . Beyonce can do what she likes with her body. Trump cannot do what he likes with it or any other woman's. Clear now?
@RealJamesWoods
James Woods
8 years
Just a little confusing...
Tweet media one
2K
6K
8K
277
27K
42K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
Take. That. Off.
Tweet media one
3K
6K
41K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
Something I wrote in The Sunday Times a month ago.
Tweet media one
698
7K
41K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
Nice to have the worst father ever tell us what a good father would do.
311
5K
39K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
This joke has almost made it worthwhile. Almost.
Tweet media one
119
828
38K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
Whether she knows it or not, "North London metropolitan liberal elite" is alt-right code - shit alt right code - for Jews. My mum was a refugee to this once tolerant country from Nazism. So this son of immigrants says - it's a short lecture - fuck off.
@Channel4News
Channel 4 News
5 years
"This daughter of immigrants needs no lectures from the north London, metropolitan, liberal elite." Home Secretary Priti Patel says she will "end the free movement of people once and for all".
6K
2K
7K
2K
7K
35K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
6 years
Thanks to the England team, and manager, for giving us this beautiful World Cup run. It’s been a ride.
384
4K
34K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
Jedward have not aged well.
Tweet media one
452
5K
34K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
I have to say that if anyone is looking for a role model for a Jewish comedian able to get serious when necessary, look no further than Volodymyr Zelensky.
326
2K
33K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
It's worth watching in full, in all it's hideous rudeness, because one thing you then realise is: it's not a tape, there are actual young musicians who are being disrespected - whose big moment is being turned, by wankers, to shit. #notsureiveputthatplainlyenough
@BBCPolitics
BBC Politics
5 years
Brexit Party MEPs turn their backs as the EU's anthem, Ode to Joy, is played as they take their seats in the new European Parliament [tap to expand]
5K
1K
4K
3K
7K
32K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
If, as the Government is implying re the BBC, we should only pay for something we like and agree with, I wonder if I can ask for all the money back I’ve had to spend in taxes on Brexit.
500
4K
32K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
What a cunt.
Tweet media one
1K
2K
30K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Probably be easier to move on, Liz, if every single day it didn't turn out there was another fucking party.
@Haggis_UK
Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺
2 years
Liz Truss - Boris Johnson "has apologised, & I think we now need to move on" 🤔 #PartyGate
1K
139
683
600
2K
31K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
1 year
Might be just me but I’d say the Games of Thrones shame walk sequence is *also* a violent misogynistic fantasy.
1K
1K
31K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
Devastated to hear about Sean Lock. He toured with Newman and Baddiel on our last show together. One of the funniest men I ever knew.
121
518
30K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
I wonder if the many beautiful little films like this on social media are slowly making people realise that animals have exactly the same emotions and empathies as us and that the idea of human specialness, which allows us to treat them very badly, is just an old religious myth.
643
6K
30K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
This is my late dad’s cat that I’ve now inherited. I already have 3. Wish me luck.
Tweet media one
743
148
30K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Home. In fact it’s come home. A sentence I thought I’d never write. I’ve gone. Thank you Lionesses.
279
3K
28K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
What do these wankers actually want?
@RupertMyers
Rupert Myers
4 years
Far right thugs attacking the police - what a total mess
1K
2K
5K
5K
3K
27K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
I’m no king of business but I think I might have sorted this kind of thing out *before* I spent the 44 billion?
Tweet media one
1K
2K
26K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
1 year
A very lovely and poignant photo posted by Demi Moore on Instagram of Bruce Willis, who has Frontotemporal Dementia, - which is what my dad had. It’s a terrible disease but it’s very impressive the way his family and others around him are dealing with it.
Tweet media one
349
634
26K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
This has gone viral, in part because a lot of people seem to think it might be real. The giveaway for me, though, is it's my brother.
@Ivorbaddiel
Ivor Baddiel
4 years
Adorable moment man interrupted by his son on live TV
5K
47K
206K
575
2K
26K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
What is this “we don’t comment on market movements” bollocks from Truss and Kwarteng? You caused it. It affects people - their mortgages, their cost of living, their businesses. So answer for it.
456
4K
25K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
This is mad. Either ban shit or don’t. Don’t “recommend.” “We don’t think gatherings cause infection so we’re not banning them but don’t go to the pub, club or theatre.” Pardon?
808
4K
25K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
How depressingly similar to what my grandparents would've seen in their neighbourhood, the one they had to flee from in 1939.
@AmichaiStein1
Amichai Stein
4 years
UK: anti-Semitic graffiti on walls all over Hampstead and Belsize Park this morning
Tweet media one
Tweet media two
Tweet media three
Tweet media four
789
2K
2K
2K
6K
25K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
The arm broke off my glasses. I tried supergluing it back on. That made it worse. I put them in the microwave to try and melt the superglue off. They caught fire. Wondering if I need some kind of sponsor I could call before making most of my decisions in life.
Tweet media one
2K
796
25K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
There might be some who feel a little sad about Rule, Brittania, seeing it, now divorced of triumphalist origins, only as a Proms tradition. Watching this however makes it clear how it’s still basically a Cunts Anthem.
@Nigel_Farage
Nigel Farage
4 years
Stick two fingers up to the BBC and sing Rule, Britannia!
6K
6K
28K
3K
3K
25K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
So I'm not a Royalist. But I think this is a brilliant photo.
Tweet media one
513
1K
25K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
My granddad on my dad's side fought for the British in WW1, my grandad on my mum's side for Germany. I'm remembering them both, today. Hope that's OK, amongst all the present arguing about what it's OK to remember.
681
2K
24K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
6 years
Fuck off. Just fuck off.
Tweet media one
660
2K
24K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
11 months
When Holly Willoughby said "Firstly, are you OK?" I genuinely thought she was talking to someone behind camera, before realising that of course she was talking to us, the great British deeply-traumatised by everything's that happened on an ITV morning show public.
2K
817
25K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
It’s appalling what has happened to Salman Rushdie. It’s also appalling that there are people who will think he brought it on himself or somehow deserved it.
352
1K
24K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
They aren’t protestors or counter-protestors. They are cunts.
577
3K
24K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Pretty good.
Tweet media one
125
2K
24K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
1 year
Idly reading the responses to Jacob’s tweet very early on Christmas morn and quite pleased if surprised to see this particular usage of the old catchphrase.
Tweet media one
335
2K
23K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
Mad as fuck.
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
5 years
As I have stated strongly before, and just to reiterate, if Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (I’ve done before!). They must, with Europe and others, watch over...
98K
24K
96K
876
1K
23K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
From cunts.
Tweet media one
516
2K
22K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
6 years
Presented without comment.
Tweet media one
155
13K
21K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
One thing we’ve learned is Cummings family have a large estate with a lot of private land. So. Why not test your eyesight by driving round *that*...rather than on a public road to a public beauty spot for a nice walk on your wife’s birthday?
492
3K
21K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Please be Jacob Rees-Mogg.
@Independent
The Independent
2 years
Tory frontbencher ‘caught watching porn in House of Commons’ 🚨
251
190
635
953
864
21K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
On the round of local radio interviews, Liz Truss comes across as so far out of her depth, I feel I need to call the RNLI.
859
2K
21K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
1 year
That clip where Meghan demonstrates how she overdid her first curtsey to the Queen - that's what she's doing - showing how *she* overdid it - laughing at herself for getting it wrong - everyone in the orgy of bad faith saying she's mocking The Queen/British customs knows this.
1K
1K
21K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Saying now that lockdown rules imposed by The Government were too rigorous, in order to excuse The Government for not following the rules they imposed, is a fucking astounding bit of shitillogic.
@Haggis_UK
Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺
2 years
Naga Munchetty - Do these fines, more than 100, reflect well on this Tory government? Jacob Rees-Mogg - "This is a non story..." #BBCBreakfast
1K
1K
3K
621
2K
20K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
"I don't believe in gestures."
Tweet media one
394
3K
19K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
Dolly is 18 today. I love her beyond measure. And she's so lucky that she inherited my looks.
Tweet media one
574
70
19K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
As much as I disagree with @BorisJohnson and @NadineDorries on every political issue, I deplore this clear attempt by an anonymous Government social media account handler to make them look fucking idiots.
Tweet media one
400
3K
19K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
6 months
Friends has always been a bit sneered at critically - too glossy, too popular - but actually it was an amazingly funny and engaging sitcom, driven by six brilliant comic actors, of which Matthew Perry was the most purely funny.
Tweet media one
217
545
19K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
I’m fifty fucking eight today. Oy.
2K
92
19K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
I'm going to suggest that only David Bowie could play a 2 hour Glastonbury set and every song is a banger and you've still only scratched the surface of his bangers.
961
1K
19K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
10 months
Yesterday, I was - I mean I am every day, but more specifically yesterday - a very proud dad.
Tweet media one
328
112
19K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
I love the fact that the spin the Government have gone for is “Dominic Cummings is a great family man” when what he did could have killed two members of his family.
311
2K
19K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
Still no honour for me. Must fuck up some elections and beat up some women.
399
2K
18K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
Just so unbelievably unempathetic of Jacob Rees-Mogg to talk about "what he would have done" if he had been in Grenfell. All it does - apart from implicitly criticising the victims - is bring home that he, of course, has never the fuck had to live anywhere like it in his life.
345
3K
18K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
I always knew @BillBailey would rock Strictly. But I didn’t know he would turn out to be middle Earth’s Fred Astaire.
153
504
18K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
People are getting upset about the joking and laughing but please lets not let that get in the way of the main point, which is the fucking *lying*.
@PaulBrandITV
Paul Brand
2 years
EXCLUSIVE: Video obtained by ITV News shows Downing Street staff joking about a Christmas party on 18th December last year. No 10 has spent the past week denying any rules were broken. This new evidence calls that into question.
3K
14K
40K
228
2K
18K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
There is no "tone." @DrRosena asks a completely straightforward question in a completely straightforward manner and @MattHancock 's tells her off, as if she's been rude or shrill or perhaps even just a woman asking a difficult question.
@DrRosena
Dr Rosena Allin-Khan
4 years
I will respectfully challenge the Government - I want our country to succeed. However, I will not 'watch my tone' when dozens of NHS and care staff are dying unnecessarily. A clip of my Q to the Health Sec today.
8K
24K
105K
530
3K
18K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
Thank you for asking, Shelagh. The answer is: fucking great.
@ShelaghFogarty
Shelagh Fogarty
3 years
What must @Baddiel and Skinner feel like hearing their song belting out across #Wembley at that winning moment.
81
30
3K
128
382
18K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
Those startled by the fact that Dominic Raab, The Foreign Secretary, doesn't know the history behind taking a knee should perhaps remember he also didn't know the history behind the UK being an island.
297
2K
18K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Took my late dad’s cat, now ours, to the vet yesterday. She’s not had vaccinations for a while. The vet said “don’t worry we can inject her today and she’ll be fine to…” but then trailed off. I hate about unfinished sentences so I said “Play at Wimbledon?” Nothing. Tumbleweed.
275
262
18K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
I think they might be trying to kill us with gracefulness.
@joncstone
Jon Stone
4 years
Brussels has lit up its main square in Union Jack colours to say goodbye to the Brits 😭
Tweet media one
1K
11K
54K
253
1K
17K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Now might be the time to admit I never really understood how Tim Westwood was ever seen as anything but the Alan Partridge of hip hop.
625
501
17K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
What's weird about this, as with the unmasking of Boris's girlfriends neighbours as Remainers, is the notion that people who cross paths with politicians in any kind of controversial way must themselves have no politics - which is basically, no people.
@BBCPolitics
BBC Politics
5 years
It has emerged that the father who confronted Boris Johnson in a London hospital is also a Labour activist Read more:
5K
658
1K
349
3K
17K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
Breaking: Lulu Unhappy With Backing Singers.
Tweet media one
697
2K
17K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
7 years
I personally think it'd be funnier to let Donald come but hold him at the airport because he comes from a country that promotes terrorism.
322
8K
16K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
QC, apparently, stands for Quite the Cunt.
@goddersbloom
Godfrey Bloom
4 years
As I understand it your son died because he believed early release for jihadists was justified because they could be rehabilitated Society is demanding these releases stop immediately A very pragmatic view, nothing vile about it. Grieve silently is my advice
9K
981
5K
309
1K
17K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
I'm starting to wonder if Terry Venables was right.
Tweet media one
1K
894
17K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
I wonder if TI himself gets a hymen check, as he's clearly a cunt.
156
1K
16K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
This makes me very proud. Thank again Lionesses.
182
848
17K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
7 months
I don't think I've ever seen anyone put so much emphasis, significance and passion into saying absolutely nothing.
@bmay
Brendan May
7 months
I cannot stop watching this. It’s one of the most peculiar things I’ve ever seen, which given the venue, is really saying something. Get to the end (if you can).
6K
2K
13K
1K
1K
17K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
6 years
My son, hypnotised and overawed as ever by the beauty of nature.
Tweet media one
410
1K
16K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
From my daughter‘s Instagram stories...made me well up a bit.
Tweet media one
176
229
16K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
Heartbreaking and yet hilarious. Good on you for this beautiful piece ⁦ @lewis_damian ⁩.
Tweet media one
91
653
16K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
6 years
If you don't smile at the noise the otter makes when chomping down, you're not human. Or otter.
425
5K
16K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
If Nadhim Zahawi resigns, I'm never going to stop laughing.
225
600
16K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
I'm starting to wonder if Boris Johnson was actually sent to prison, he still wouldn't resign. Jacob Rees-Mogg would be on Newsnight claiming that he was doing a great job governing from his cell.
292
1K
16K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
If you thought "well, she can't possibly be more impressive" think again.
@CGTNSportsScene
CGTN Sports Scene
3 years
🥰"Hi, everyone. I wanna say thank you to you guys and I hope you could enjoy my tennis. I'm thrilled to win. Love you all, see you." - #EmmaRaducanu , whose mother is Chinese from Shenyang, China's northeastern Liaoning Province, spoke in mandarin after the #USOpen triumph.
177
1K
13K
211
1K
16K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
4 years
This is the *sad* day. The *happy* one is on Sunday. Join us next time for another episode of Easter For Three Year Olds.
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
4 years
HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY TO ALL!
32K
30K
294K
251
2K
16K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Obviously there are always complex social and structural forces involved, but it is amazing how often history has been fucked up by psychopathic individual men acquiring power. You'd think we might have found a way round that by now.
397
1K
16K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
2 years
Only one way to cheer myself up this morning. Although sausages are veggie and we haven’t got any bacon. I’m aware it looks like a melted clown. Colin would throw it at me.
Tweet media one
426
73
15K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
The fury of the press when someone chooses politely not to speak to them is quite something.
205
791
15K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
3 years
I shall be continuing to wear a mask. Apart from anything, I look better with most of my face covered.
335
569
15K
@Baddiel
David Baddiel
5 years
Shit. I thought she lived in a council house.
@DailyMirror
The Mirror
5 years
Queen's speech in front of lavish gold piano blasted for being 'out of touch'
Tweet media one
4K
994
4K
508
988
15K