📯Small bit of news - the lovely people at
@PeoplesMuseumLK
have been good/mad enough to put together an exhibition of my work, launching on Saturday 27th April at 5pm. There'll be light refreshments, doodles, and me having a nervous breakdown in a corner somewhere. All welcome!
Twitter is great if you want to enjoy little jokes with online pals and be relentlessly bombarded with the most horrific and emotionally devastating global news at the same time
Madness is members of the British public *repeatedly* believing that their monarch, who won't even remove a glove to shake hands with them, is secretly communicating with them via the physical wealth she owns and wears as a result of the colonisation and robbery of other nations.
Postman arrived in a mask today, asked him how things were going, not great says he, why so says I, because all the women in the parish are being deprived of seeing my handsome face says he, and that's the confidence we're bringing into the weekend mo chairde
Word to the Brits confused over the pronunciation of
#StormCiara
, it's Keer-ah, not Sierra - hard "C", like "Cake", or "Cup", or "Colonised for 800 years and Counting"
Thinking about the mid-1800s Lucifer statues by the Geefs brothers again, the first of which had to be replaced by the second because the Church said he was literally too sexy
Saw an ad for an Irish college that said "state of the art facilities" and not sure if it means they've really good general facilities or really bad art facilities
People who delight in seeing Twitter implode seem to forget that a lot of us use it for things that are important to us, like sharing work, or making fun of the English
The fact that UCC hid a 3000-year-old mummy under the floorboards of a lecture theatre on a campus where two and a half tonnes of uranium rods were being stored in a basement nearby and DIDN'T end up with a zombie-pharaoh apocalypse is both a mystery and endlessly disappointing.
Heard on the news that the funeral of Emma Mhic Mhathúna is to go past the Dáil, at her request, as a message to politicians. Not silent, not even now. Incredible woman.
In 1847 the Choctaw Nation - themselves victims of huge suffering - decided to gather what funds they could and send aid to help the Irish during the Famine. Navajo and Hopi families are now struggling with the fight against COVID-19. Donate to help here:
You: So you're increasing fuel costs to discourage people from driving, which will help the environment?
Government: Yes.
You: And you're increasing the availability of public transport, especially in rural areas where people depend on cars?
Government: *chuckles* Good lord no
If Stormzy can manage to pronounce Pobalscoil Neasáin with ease I don't want to hear another English person scoff that Siobhán or Niamh are unpronounceable ever again
Yes to people unapologetically enjoying hobbies that people make fun of. MORE Warhammer, more dubious werewolf fiction, more DnD, more Austen and Regency romances, more knitting and model making and nerdy board games. Abandon contrived ideas of taste and culture. Embrace cringe.
Don't see what the fuss is about, I'm under 30 and own my own house in Ireland with my loving husband, if by house you mean my childhood bedroom in my parent's home that I can't afford to leave and by husband you mean this turnip attached to a broom with a face gouged out of it
Ladies, if another woman takes the time to warn you about a man in order to protect you, listen to them. If more than one woman warns you, DEFINITELY listen to them. If 10+ women warn you, you're a coven now, and are obliged to drown that man in the sea under the next blood moon
I know Twitter delivers some mind-blowing takes, but "Ireland was INVITED to join the UK, and the English language was generously bequeathed to the people as a gift" is a hell of a way to interpret the island being violently colonised and having its language forcibly repressed 🤔
A British presenter on a British sports show po-facedly asks an Irish athlete if Irish people need to be educated more about Irish history while Glasnevin cemetery hums loudly from breakneck spinning within several graves
Call me ol' fashioned, but if a country brutally oppressed yours for hundreds of years and had signs in doors with "No Irish" on them in recent memory, you should probably be allowed to find their team of millionaires not winning a football match at least mildly amusing
Hate when lads play hard to get by being slow to reply to your messages and living far away and having a wife and being acclaimed Hollywood actor Cillian Murphy
Know some people object to it but I love "lads" as a gender neutral term, mostly because there is something delightful about being an eight year old little girl and solemnly referring to your friend group of other eight year old little girls as "The Lads"
Weird how often people assume not being able to drive as an adult is down to lack of motivation and not, say, it being a process that - between lessons, tests, buying a car, insuring, taxing and fuelling it - costs several thousand euro that most people don't have lying around
Not sure if it's a "my dad" thing or "all Irish dads" thing but the man cannot envisage a meal without spuds. I made an entire lasagna earlier this evening and found him panic-mashing a bowl of Kerr's Pinks in the corner
Genuinely kind and caring, does a huge amount for charity, constantly goes out of his way for fans and gets to know many of them personally, self-deprecating and funny, all while being publicly ridiculed for years? National treasure.
Daniel [O’Donnell] has been lifting the spirits of the sick and elderly confined to community hospitals and nursing homes around County
#Donegal
by performing for them from a social distance. Such a kind gesture
#COVID19ireland
Italy score, Kerry jerseys spotted in crowd, within a few minutes a forwarded WhatsApp announcing them to be O'Connors from Brosna - the devil works hard but the Kerry Connection Identification Network works harder
Enjoy when people say "I like your tweets but dislike your opinion on this, it is not what I signed up for" as if they're writing to The Times, you're reading the ramblings of a 29 year old woman lying in bed eating biscuits in her underwear, sir, please adjust your expectations
Someone texted into the radio saying there was "too much seaweed" on the beach and that it was interfering with their enjoyment of it so the council should remove it, presumably after they hoover the fields and mop the bogs
Those selfish young people spreading disease by selfishly being forced to go to work, selfishly needing to use public transport to get there, selfishly serving you in the places you choose to eat, drink, and shop, selfishly working front-line jobs in healthcare, so SELFISH
32 today, the same age as Alexander the Great when he died, having conquered most of the ancient known world at the time. I am tweeting in my underpants from my bed while eating dry cereal because we ran out of milk. What I'm saying is we both achieved things.
Letter being discussed on Radio Kerry from some woman complaining that the free contraception measure will promote promiscuity, which is amazing because I didn't think it was possible to send post from the 1800s
Mad that people have no problem grasping the concept of "Irish-American" and all it entails, but when confronted with the idea that people who move to Ireland or whose predecessors moved here can hold a duality (or more) of heritages, cultures, and identities, their heads explode
Forever ashamed of the cruelty of Irish people who dehumanise migrants, as if a huge part of our national story isn't the millions -documented AND undocumented, and including members of their own families - who fled from violence and starvation here with the same desperation.
Today marks 36 years since the death of 15-year-old Ann Lovett after giving birth outside near a grotto. This week a woman without a home gave birth on a Dublin street. 36 years, and we're still looking the other way while our most vulnerable people are abandoned. It has to stop.
Firmly believe Ireland lost its way as a nation when we stopped wearing shawls that doubled as cosy blankets and would like to propose a return to the wearable bed
Some guy just replied with a "🤢" to a picture of my body on a post about body acceptance, my good man if you think my life's purpose isn't to make men suffer at the mere sight of me then you are sorely mistaken
You're telling me an island where people were experts in locking themselves into round towers in a panic and pulling up the ladder behind them from marauding Vikings CAN'T self-isolate properly? Ireland we were BRED for this
Bold of racists to claim you can't be Irish unless you're "genetically Irish", as if being related to 98% of your neighbours because our great-grandmothers hadn't the means to travel farther than the house below the bog road to find a husband is somehow a mark of superiority ☘️
Little series of cartoon
#MiniMn
á for November, starting with Bernadette Devlin McAliskey, civil & human rights activist, shot by paramilitaries, slapped the Home Secretary when he claimed British soldiers on Bloody Sunday acted "in self-defence", and all-round legend.
#Mn
ávember
Being a white supremacist in Ireland takes a special type of eejit. What are you going to contribute to your Master Race, Pádraig, farmer's tan and hayfever
Refuse to be patronised about learning to drive from people who did their test when cars cost approximately 50p and all you had to do to pass was recite the safe cross code and three Hail Marys
English speakers that accept the spelling of names like Anaïs and Thibault because they know that despite using a similar alphabet they're French language names but can't grasp the same logic for Irish language names like Siobhán or Eoghan are the worst type of willful eejits.
Dublin City Council asks people not to hang clothes on the Ha’Penny Bridge for health & safety reasons- it reduces pedestrian flows & causes congestion on bridge.Please consider giving them to charity shops.Items collected by DCC will be redistributed via our homeless services
It's December, it's frosty, and I'm a single thirty-something year old motherless woman lacking direction in life, which means I'm dangerously close to having to save a beloved village inn by rediscovering the true meaning of Christmas with the help of a handsome local woodworker
Fine to have Irish citizenship routes for the diaspora, but privileged Brits talking about it like it's just a cheap and handy way to hold onto their easy EU travel when there are people born and/or living here prevented by circumstance or cost from qualifying - that's sickening.
The menstrual cycle can be divided into 3 parts: (a) That Man Is A Ride, (b) That Man Would Be A Great Husband, And A Loving Father To Our Many Children, and (c) All Men Must Be Sacrificed And Fed To The Eight-Legged Mother Spinster, Szlúrâk, While We Dance Naked To Their Screams
One of the most annoying things about anglicised Irish placenames is they're so meaningless. Tralee, Ballina, Letterkenny mean nothing - Trá Lí, Béal an Átha, Leitir Ceanainn tell you there's a strand, or a ford, or a hill, something about the place you're in. They're grounding.
Why do they keep giving us women CEOs as "role models" when the 20-something year old woman wearing a tank top and jeans I just saw in West Kerry belting it over the road in her tractor while pulling a huge mower behind her on her way to do the silage is right there
Ireland had the opportunity to be an egalitarian republic where the most vulnerable were always protected, and instead we got a partitioned country built for landlords and the corrupt, veiled behind a thin layer of leprechauns and Aran sweaters so tourists don't notice the rot.
The Brits Irish government
in 1921 representatives
at golf events
🤝
Installing a flimsy partition
and claiming it turns a single
place into two different places
English: Irish is a nonsensical language, those pronunciations and spellings don't even make sense!
Also English: Good luck figuring out what letters are silent in psalm, lamb and gnome, also the plural of mouse is mice but the plural of house isn't hice, you are welcome 🏴
Need to move past the idea that men who anonymously abuse women are all loners in basements, and therefore harmless, when time and time again they're outed as people with "respectable" careers, families, and power. We meet them at work, in the street, and at home. They're *here*.
Maybe just hyper-aware of it at the moment, but the amount of violence against women and girls in the Irish news recently, between the horrific assaults and the court cases where women were murdered by partners - especially for a country this small - is really upsetting.
The numbers on Bloody Sunday 1920 all have stories. Jane Boyle, 26, was to be married within a week, and buried in her wedding dress. Tom Ryan, 27, stopped beside a dying Michael Hogan to say a prayer in his ear, and was shot in the back. They weren't just numbers. They were us.
Mind-blowing to think that the egg you came from was present in your mother when she was a baby in your grandmother's womb, which means you've been present for three generations of people saying "It's hard to believe it's starting to get dark now at half eight" every September
🇮🇪: You can't just take random Irish surnames and use them as first names
🇺🇸: Brady Murphy
🇮🇪: No
🇺🇸: McCarthy O'Doherty
🇮🇪: Stop that
🇺🇸: ...
🇮🇪: ...
🇺🇸: Fitzgibbon St. Patrick O'Loughlin-MacMcO'Begorrah
🇮🇪: Mother of god
The main issue with attending all-girl schools is you become used to the witty, supportive, and rapid communication style of women, and aren't prepared for the not insignificant number of men with whom messaging feels like swimming through treacle with a heifer tied to each ankle
Often think of all those who quietly worked day and night for Repeal, drove the length of the country collecting flyers and posters, canvassed entire areas alone, who never look for acknowledgement and will never be celebrated in any magazine. So just a little thank you to them.
Will never feel fair that centuries of erosion and suppression mean having to actively learn the language of your own country as a second tongue, as if it's a foreign language
Mentioned in passing that bending while drawing was causing pain, and d'father quietly disappeared and emerged from the shed a while later with a handmade stand, in case anyone is wondering why I'm forever Ruined For All Men
Rest in power Vicky Phelan. Ireland failed her, yet she reacted by spending her life fighting to make it a better place for all of us. One of the best people this island has ever had.
@JournalistHelen
My four children were turned into swans for several hundred years by the jealous new wife of my husband after my death, happy to discuss.
Fascinated by people who tell you they didn't enjoy certain tweets. You'll pay Netflix €7.99 a month to ignore 95% of their content but think you get to curate the ramblings of a 29-year-old woman sitting in her bedroom covered in crumbs, for free? Sir I will send you my PayPal
Reduce your social contacts IMMEDIATELY but also continue to pack into schools and force your employees into their workplaces and go out into pubs and restaurants and shops to support the economy, I cannot be more clear
Sure I love being a CULCHIE 🚜
C ool
U nique
L ovely
C what's broadband
H they closed the post office
I one bus comes every 2 weeks
E veryone's moved to Dublin
Standing bare-chested and foaming at the mouth on the Kerry border with a hurl and sliotar this weekend to greet anyone coming down to their holiday homes the same way Setanta greeted the hound