Jasper Apollonia @BladeCunningham Twitter profile

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

8 years

"Brooke, fetch me my formal bandanna, I don't want to look silly in court."

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@nolanbellavance @taylorgarron Wow, amazing, you’re not even one of the people she’s talking about in her post and you still managed to make it all about you.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

2 months

He’s doing more coaching in 45 seconds than Monty Williams has all season

Kevín

@KevOnStage

2 months

He literally has all the coaching mannerisms. 😂

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

2 years

Here’s a list of rookies who ever put up a 32-6-8-4 game: Michael Jordan Cade Cunningham

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

Shit is getting real over here at Barclays Center

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

2 years

Isaiah Stewart is one of like, three NBA players who is absolutely willing and able to throw hands at any time

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 years

@redditships Leave her, take the kids. Don’t ever look back.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

@jrusso91 @willmenaker Yeah lmk when a cop gets CTE from punching too many moms in the back of the head

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

7 years

@lexo_sr8tflexin @EddyKangJr @Khy413 @xnickxkingx @Bmo_Rachii @Crwn_T Don't worry, I already stole it.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

6 months

Go small and play him at power forward. Just try it for a second. What do you have to lose? Games? You’re already doing that.

StatMamba

@StatMamba

6 months

Most Rebounds This Season: 137 — Nikola Jokic 116 — Ausar Thompson 115 — Rudy Gobert 110 — Deandre Ayton

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

@harrytlambert @bariweiss @nytimes “Crushed” lmao she literally owes her entire career to it. She got her start trying to get pro-Palestinian college professors fired. Everything her critics say about her is true, as even her supporters admit in your own piece.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 years

@FullFrontalSamB How about entrance to Upper West Side middle schools?

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

6 years

@anneapplebaum Yeah it’s almost like we’re ruled by a small class of wealthy elites or something.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

@ashleyrcarman “You can accept lower pay than the pittance we already give you, or nobody will ever find your music.” This isn’t a streaming app, it’s an extortion racket.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@big_business_ @lilindieemby Fanning out masks like they were 100’s is the hardest flex of the year

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 months

Alec Burks should not play another game for this franchise. It might seem like an overreaction to some, but I think it’s genuinely disrespectful to fans who pay their hard earned money to watch you lose 27 games in a row and laugh it up afterwards. Beyond unprofessional.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

2 months

The Pistons defensive rating with Wiseman on the floor is 14 points worse than with Muscala on the floor lol

Omari Sankofa II

@omarisankofa

2 months

Monty on playing Wiseman over Muscala: “I like what he’s giving us, especially on the defensive side.” Said that when you have smaller guards like Sass and Flynn, you need rim protection.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

10 months

@getfiscal Maybe they could reveal him to be Dr Manhattan (very poetic because of the Manhattan project) at the end and link everything together with the watchmen universe. Think it would be a lot of fun for Oppenheimer-heads and comic book lovers alike!

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

@Braingetter Dating a guy who’s closer to 30 than he is to being a teenager is pedophilia

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 months

Since Jaden Ivey became the starter on 12/18: Cade- 23.9 pts, 4.3 reb, 8.1 ast (3 TO) on 49.5/38.9/83.3% (58.5 TS%) Ivey- 19 pts, 4.8 reb, 4.6 ast on 46.9/41.9/68% shooting (57.4 TS%) That's 43 points, 9 rebounds and 12.7 assists with above average TS% Detroit's backcourt.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@UberFacts Just a hard working young man getting along with nothing but his smarts, some will, and millions upon millions of dollars from his dad’s slave labor emerald mine.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

@MikeoftheRight @eviefordham Every word of your tweet is a staggeringly brutal self-own

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 months

Pistons with Cade and Killian last night: 26 minutes, offensive rating of 107.8, defensive rating of 119.2, net rating of -11.4 Pistons with Cade and Ivey last night: 8 minutes, offensive rating of 140, defensive rating of 120, net rating of +20. What am I missing here?

FυɛӀɛժ ву мσтσωη

@FueledByMotown

5 months

Cade looked the best I have ever seen him last night, and it was with Jaden Ivey not in the lineup I am starting to wonder if Cade and Ivey fit next to each other long term I hope they do, because I love JI and Cade, but I’m starting to question it #Pistons #DetroitBasketball

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 months

I don’t believe the Pistons are better without Cade, I believe the Pistons are better when they spread the ball around and allow their athletes to make plays. That’s not a Cade issue, it’s a coaching issue imo.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 months

He’s not even the worst player on the team man

FυɛӀɛժ ву мσтσωη

@FueledByMotown

4 months

it still makes me chuckle that there’s a part of the fanbase who still thinks there’s a really good player in there #Pistons #DetroitBasketball

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@ajplus I mean what are they gonna do, arrest themselves?

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

7 years

@peterdaou Peter, please Daoun't do this.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

Ben Wallace was insane man, look at him standing next to Calvin. Dude was going 1-1 with Shaq and couldn’t be a centimeter over 6’6

Detroit Tigers

@tigers

1 year

Three Detroit sports legends and room for one more. Nicklas Lidström, Calvin Johnson Jr. and Ben Wallace invited @MiguelCabrera to join them in throwing out today's first pitch.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 years

@phontigallo Man, this James Brown guy dances just like Michael Jackson

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

Killian Hayes could never play another game for Detroit and Troy Weaver would still be able to call his first draft class a successful one

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

@BrettKollmann Also, acting like people touching your food is gross is hilarious. Someone touches your food with their bare hands every time you go out to eat at a restaurant lol

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 months

Cade Cunningham splits before/after Bojan Bogdanovic returned from injury: 19 games- 22.3 pts-3.6 reb-7.1 ast-4.5 tov (51.4% TS, 31.5% USG) 8 games-22 pts-4.5 reb-7 ast-2.6 tov (57.2% TS, 27.7% USG) Crazy what happens when you give him literally any spacing at all

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

@jrusso91 @willmenaker Ok cool how many of them worked for thousands of hours, beating out millions of other potential employees, then got hit in the head thousands of times and suffered permanent brain damage that kills them 25 years down the road?

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 months

Jaden Ivey is now shooting 42% from three on 5.2 attempts per game since becoming the full-time starter. That’s a 25 game stretch where he’s averaging 18.8 points, 4.8 rebounds and 4.7 assists with 47/42/67% splits from the field.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 months

Pistons now 2-0 against teams that made a trade within the last 24 hours. Seems like they finally found their winning strategy

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@ThatJeffJacobs @katienolan @dionnewarwick She’s 80 and using this app at a higher level than most people a quarter of her age, god help us all if she starts making memes

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

2 years

@christi91823779 @CNNPR Helped a family member…try to get away with sexual assault? Wow sounds like a great guy

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@willmenaker Will, what is the exact amount of money someone is allowed to spend on a house and still call themselves a socialist? Thanks, I'll hang up and listen

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

6 months

Detroit Pistons with Isaiah Stewart on the floor: +17 points per 100 possessions Detroit Pistons with Isaiah Stewart off the floor: -11 points per 100 possessions

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

@jrusso91 @willmenaker I never said it was, I simply agreed that being an NFL player is way more dangerous and difficult than being a cop, which is obviously true if you think about it for literally three seconds.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@surplusvalmeal @willmenaker People liking your tweet without liking mine first is gross and unprincipled behavior unbecoming of so-called "socialists"

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 months

Cade Cunningham's efficiency has started to stabilize since a rough early start to the season. His 12 games- 21.3 pts, 7.3 assists, 5 turnovers on 40.2/29.7/87.5% shooting. His last 11 games- 22.8 pts, 7.3 assists, 3.5 turnovers on 45.2/38.1/90.7% from the floor

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

@DameDash22 @JordanUhl And the police didn’t do shit, so the protesters were right all along

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 months

Players on this team are TERRIFIED of doing anything wrong because they know Monty will sit them down on the bench. So all they keep doing is feeding Cade possession after possession because he’s the only one with an actual green light to do what he wants out there.

Lazarus Jackson

@lazchance

5 months

Ausar 3PA per game after the 0-6 (with multiple airballs) against New Orleans: 3 4 1 1 1 1 1 1 0 0 2

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

2 years

You can charge me $7 for a Hot n Ready I really don’t care, just get it done

Detroit Free Press

@freep

2 years

Detroit Tigers, Carlos Correa flirting, but $300 million price tag cools courtship

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

@jrusso91 @willmenaker Also, “dangerous” does not equal “deadly,” which again you would realize if again, you thought about it for more than two seconds.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

@jameelajamil @g4ys0n This is exactly what OP is talking about. Are you gonna pay for her therapy? Because if you think eating healthy food is expensive wait until you see what therapists cost.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 months

Sending picks to dump Bagley would be a lot more palatable if Troy hadn’t sent picks to acquire him, and ALSO bid against himself to overpay him in the first place

Bobby Marks

@BobbyMarks42

4 months

Detroit gets off the Bagley II contract at the expense of 2 seconds. He has a $12.5M salary next season. Livers ($1.8M), Gallinari ($6.8M) and Muscala ($3.5M) are in the last year of their contract.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

2 years

Saddiq Bey is putting up 19-6-3 a night on 57% TS over his past 36 games just fyi

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@ideologynoun @williamrblack @dbessner What the actual fuck are you talking about

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

@scoopdakilla @WeaponXxxX20 @tobias31 No, indoor gatherings are massively more dangerous than outdoor gatherings.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

@DuncanSmithNBA First week at college, I’m playing pickup in the gym. I am TERRIBLE at basketball, but only I know that, so the first touch I get, I pull up from damn near half court. Drain it. Everyone starts calling me Jimmer, until I play a few games and they realize it was just a lucky shot.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

All bias aside, the best fit for Wemby IS Detroit. Cade and Ivey both perfect guards and Duren/Stewart are both fantastic compliments his game. Think it would be the best situation for him in terms of expectations and positional versatility.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

7 years

@Bmo_Rachii @Crwn_T Lol wut? White people invented leftovers, it's one of like, three things we came up with on our own.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

7 months

George Blaha just mixed up Ausar Thompson and Cade Cunningham, Detroit Basketball we are BACK baby

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

9 months

@MG_Schindler Dude what??? The pickle is what makes the sandwich work you need that lil bit of brine to cut through all the carbs

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@Telegraph If you've got such a big problem with it why don't you guys just go ahead and take over it yourselves?

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

Josh Jackson is the Glenn Robinson III we were promised

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@TylerIAm Rob really thought he was untouchable because he got a hot wife and a perm smh

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 months

Guys, a 47 yard field goal is not “free points.”

D.

@1hundooo

3 months

3 point loss in a game Dan decided to pass up on 6 Free points, lmfaoooo man

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

6 months

The Pistons salary for this year is $137.5 million. Joe Harris, James Wiseman, Monte Morris and Dewayne Dedmon are getting paid $44.5 million this year. That’s 32% of their entire salary. In 2019, Blake Griffin was paid $31.9 million. That was 25% of the Pistons entire salary

Omari Sankofa II

@omarisankofa

6 months

No one’s interested in the eternal promise of making a big move, so I won’t go there. I’ll just say they’ve been bit hard by overspending in the past and are reluctant to make that mistake again. They’re not making a big swing unless they’re very certain it’ll work

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

@TrillBroDude @gochoof Yeah but you said he was “objectively bad.” That’s kind of a difference from “he’s not a star yet”

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

Detroit fans will lower Cade into the ground like the Undertaker after one Summer League game but still sell out Ford Field every week. Thank you for constantly reminding me why I moved 600 miles away from you weirdos!

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

@Millar_Colin They’re right though, De Zerbi has no idea how to lose games against inferior opponents in the most humiliating way possible.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 months

Never seen a team with such dogshit body language. This is an unserious, unprofessional organization, on every single level.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

God I missed Chiesa so much. Look at the acceleration to get back and cut off the 2-on-1 for Cremonese

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

9 months

@steinkobbe @willmenaker Once Elon invents the car door, all these problems will be solved

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

6 months

Cade Cunningham tonight

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 months

Fire everyone. Someone. ANYONE. Put Tom Gores in Guantanamo Bay. Fire Troy Weaver into space. Make Monty Williams explore the Titanic in a homemade submarine. I don’t care anymore.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

@gochoof @TrillBroDude Am I sure that the guy who averaged 17-5.5-5.5 as a rookie was not “objectively” bad? Yeah man, pretty sure

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

10 months

@MisterDeadass @BrandyLJensen Craziest part is that this wasn’t even close to the dumbest part of that arc

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

2 months

Insane to me that people still are going on about Cade's playmaking...since Ivey entered the starting lineup he has a 37.2 assist percentage (would rank 5th in the NBA this year) and a turnover percentage of 13.3% (45th this season). TS% nearly at 60% too. Fantastic efficiency.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@DragonflyJonez Hmmmm no

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@LahavHarkov @reglash @giladerdan1 Seems like she’ll be doing the same exact job as she was before.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

11 months

Fun fact, the total compensation to the Pistons for losing these players was a grand total of 1 second round pick and Dzanan Musa

Barstool Detroit

@BSMotorCity

11 months

Congrats to the Denver Pistons on winning their first NBA Championship

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

9 months

@willmenaker “Bitches leave” also perhaps the greatest line reading of all time

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

11 months

Who was the elite shooter available at 5 you would have taken instead?

Justin Spiro

@DarkoStateNews

11 months

The entire core of the Pistons rebuild is built on guys who either can’t shoot at all, or haven’t shot well thus far and we’re hoping they one day learn how to shoot.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 months

I want a handwritten apology from everyone who told me to “trust Troy” over the past three years. I tried to warn you and you didn’t want to listen.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@SeanRMoorhead @RegressiveElf @JeremyMonjo That’s why the best Wonder Woman comics are the ones where she goes around beating the shit out of people and killing them with zero remorse while Batman and Superman look at each other uncomfortably

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

Looking for jobs on Craigslist.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 months

This is basically 90% of Troy weaver’s tenure. Very few outright disastrous moves in a vacuum (outside of Killian>Hali) but when you put everything together none of it makes sense

Sam Vecenie

@Sam_Vecenie

5 months

(The Bey for Wiseman trade remains one of the low-key wildest deals I can remember in a while. It’s not like a catastrophic deal or anything, but there was legitimately no logic to it at the time.)

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

@DragonflyJonez Best line is him opening with the “it’s like comparing you to D Wade” because you know Pierce thinks he’s on the same level as Wade and that’s gonna eat him up inside

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

8 months

Reading through these quote tweets and wondering aloud why NBA players don’t like Detroit fans. Can’t think of any reason why!

Yann Balikouzou

@YannBalikouzou

8 months

Killian Hayes Year 4 loading… 🏁 #TeamISE

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@ByYourLogic Fake and goy

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@LivingQueerHere @streep_lover You’re completely missing the point

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 months

Where is this “move the team” line coming from? Id like them to be good, not move to Las Vegas

Chris Castellani

@Castellani2014

5 months

It's Time For Owner Tom Gores To Make A Decision: Sell The Detroit Pistons Or Move The Team To Another City

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

Its awesome being a fan of an organization where every troll tweet has a 50% chance of coming true anyway

Duncan Smith

@DuncanSmithNBA

1 year

Pistons are gonna hire Ollie, trade the 5th pick and pay a premium to sign Dillon Brooks. They might be awful but they’re not boring

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

10 months

@KrangTNelson Someone did an image search and this is a picture from the 2016 Euros lmao

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@cd_hooks 1. He’s dead 2.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

@718Supply @NetsDaily KD to the Pistons, lock it in

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

6 months

I’ve said it since the off-season, the issue with having a starting lineup that includes Killian Hayes and Isaiah Stewart isn’t their three point percentage, it’s the lack of volume. Can’t run them and Ausar AND Duren out there and expect to have any spacing for Cade.

StatMuse

@statmuse

6 months

3-pointers this season: 62 — Steph Curry 61 — Orlando Magic starters 59 — Detroit Pistons starters Steph has missed two games.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 years

I don’t care who’s playing, if it’s game 7, I’m repping the Pistons

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

1 year

Paolo shot worse than Cade on twos, threes AND free throws. Unless there’s a 4th shot I’m not aware of, it’s extremely weird that Cade got knocked for “poor efficiency” while Paolo didn’t.

DB

@derekbrooks_

1 year

@BladeCunningham And despite everyone mentioning Cades poor 3pt % so far, nobody really talks about Paolo shooting like 15% post all star break

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 months

No idea where this narrative that the starting lineup is better with Killian than Ivey is coming from. 5 man lineups with Cade-Duren-Thompson-Stewart are 4 points better per 100 possessions with Ivey than with Hayes.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

7 years

@Reuters "OJ Simpson goes for car ride with longtime friend."

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

10 months

Pistons Twitter is too negative so I am announcing myself as the new “Nice Guy” of Pistons Twitter. Got a bad take? That’s ok. All takes are good in The Nice Guy’s eyes. Getting into arguments? Have a chat with The Nice Guy instead. Disrespecting Gigi Datome? Prepare to be murde

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

3 months

I don’t know whether to give Troy Weaver credit for finally making the type of small, cheap moves for role players that fit with his young core, or roll my eyes at him for not figuring it out until year four.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

4 years

@NChow24 @FakeEmmanuel @MrTooDamnChris Dude if I go around telling everyone there’s absolutely no chance I will die from the loaded gun in my pocket accidentally firing and shooting off my dick and balls, and then I die from accidentally shooting off my own dick and balls, I deserve to be made fun of.

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Jasper Apollonia

@BladeCunningham

5 years

I already know I’m gonna see people talking about Rose’s “improved 3Pt shooting.” It’s a mirage. Rose shot 40-80 from three for the months of November and December, then promptly shot 5-40 from three for the rest of the season (13%). I don’t trust the volume or the efficiency.