Armand Domalewski @ArmandDoma Twitter profile

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

5 days

the mayor of San Francisco said she liked my hair

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 years

I am 32 years old and still deeply terrified that consuming anything from the hotel room minibar will bankrupt my entire family somehow

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 years

as a child, I assumed Martha’s Vineyard was owned by Martha Stewart

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

11 months

My girlfriend bought a bag from another woman on FB marketplace…she had me go pick it up and I wound up grabbing it from…the other woman’s boyfriend, whom she had dispatched to hand it over

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

11 months

I don’t think a 19 year old deserves to suffocate to death in a submarine because his dad is rich

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 years

a new era in Japanese politics begins

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 years

incredible headline

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

11 months

It felt like we’re both low level dealers making an exchange on the orders of our respective cartel bosses

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

6 months

If you can do this without wiping out I support your fare being free

Max Dubler 🏳️‍🌈

@maxdubler

6 months

New transit fare evasion discourse just dropped.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

7 months

today this guy codes as “gay left wing dude” but in the 80s he would’ve coded as “rockstar who does coke with hookers” while looking exactly the same

TheBlaze

@theblaze

7 months

This is a Communications Director for the US department of the Interior:

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

they’re literally just mad at Black peoples skiiing now

Lauren Witzke

@LaurenWitzkeDE

3 months

Diversity on said slopes:

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

10 months

Zuck is actually doing it lmaooooo

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 years

I’m increasingly convinced the secret to progressive change in America is for Democrats to run on a centrist platform, implement very left policy, and then lie relentlessly about it without shame, like Republicans do

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

8 months

The Barbies lived in elaborate mansions while quite literally the entire Ken species was permanently homeless

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

9 months

oh my 😳

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

30 days

Pinochet particularly relished a torture technique that involved forcing parents watch their children being raped

Jack Poso 🇺🇸

@JackPosobiec

1 month

Sometimes heroes do wear capes

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

15 days

Fellas, is it gay to…have sex with women?

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

2 months

If you find microwaving a meal this difficult you genuinely need to be under some form of supervised care

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

4 months

Please go to the ER right now

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

19 days

I do not think the protesters are always right 50 years ago

Will Bunch

@Will_Bunch

20 days

Is is amazing how the protesters are always right 50 years ago and always wrong today

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

7 months

Indian WhatsApp is an interesting place

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

10 days

the gay gentleman helping me size my suit today complimented me on my athletic figure and my girlfriend IMMEDIATELY rolled her eyes because she knew she’d be hearing about it all week

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

7 months

AOC explains just how badly Kevin McCarthy screwed himself 1: Congress was supposed to be on recess this week. He called them back for unclear reasons. 2: If a motion to vacate the chair is launched, the Speaker has 48 hours to shore up his support before the vote. He waived…

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

10 months

It is kinda funny that Zuckerberg is liberal coded when he’s been married to his college sweetheart for decades and has three kids, while Musk is conservative coded when he’s been divorced multiple times and has sired lots of kids out of wedlock

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 year

tens of billions of dollars wiped out by a single polycule

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

6 months

Xi spent five minutes in San Francisco and was like “dawg maybe we went too far”

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 month

it’s kind of weird how we have whole classes of profession where the norm is that they’re vaguely scammy and you have to be super careful about being ripped off—car dealerships, auto mechanics, dentists…

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

7 days

taxes need to be higher

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

2 years

The “Acceptable To Italians Index” is my new favorite set of metrics

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

7 months

I do not like this emergence of “stalking nobodies as a political tactic.” It’s one thing to protest a politician’s house—this is a college kid

New York Post

@nypost

7 months

Harvard ‘doxxing truck’ parks outside students’ homes who blamed Israel for Hamas attacks

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

6 months

Biden kicking off WW3 by banging Xi Jinping’s wife

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

7 months

Elon Musk endorses Joe Biden for re-election

Elon Musk wants to get rid of this headline

Tweets containing news article links will be stripped of headlines and other metadata (like this very sentence). Instead, X, formerly Twitter, plans to display only an image and a URL.

fortune.com

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

5 months

Tate News

@TateNews_

5 months

I dont sleep with vaccinated women.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 year

“Having sex in the same house as your children is child abuse, you should only have sex if you hire a babysitter and bill a hotel room” is quite possibly one of the wildest Zoomer Takes I’ve seen here in a while

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

chief of staff: Mr. President, very sad news. King Charles has cancer. joe biden [ munching block of Kerrygold butter ]: hot damn. we do that?

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Yaroslav The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Americans would tell you.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

National Interest

@TheNatlInterest

3 months

The U.S. Department of Energy confirmed its discovery of a 3,400-kiloton reserve of lithium in California's Salton Sea, making it one of the largest exploitable lithium deposits in the world.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

14 days

early 2000s raunch comedy about a couple of frat guys who accidentally spend spring break training to be Hamas

Stanley Cohen

@StanleyCohenLaw

14 days

Netanyahu announces he has evidence that some 20,000 US students have been trained by Hamas in Iran over the last 90 days.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 year

Taliban fighter becomes disillusioned with the regime because he now has a 9-5 e-mail job and traffic sucks lmao

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

11 days

how DARE YOU care about people dying anywhere that isn’t Palestine

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

remember when they kept telling us how “moderate” and “centrist” this guy was

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

7 days

rarely do you see the horseshoe made so visible

Maven Navarro

@MavenNavarro1

7 days

Both sides now chanting “F***” Joe Biden”

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

11 months

Messi refusing Saudi Arabia’s offer of $1.6 billion in favor of a riskier deal in the US, in part, because his wife was very reluctant to move to Saudi, is yet another example of how the liberal values so many deride as “soft” are actually quite the competitive advantage

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 year

Elizabeth Holmes psychologically tortured one of her employees so intensely he killed himself

Liz Holmes Wants You to Forget About Elizabeth

The black turtlenecks are gone. So is the voice. As the convicted Theranos founder awaits prison, she has adopted a new persona: devoted mother.

www.nytimes.com

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

Do they realize this would mean Democrats would win every election?

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

14 days

Joe Biden has the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 month

the intellectual left vs right debate of our era. like watching the great philosophers of Athens argue in the agora

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

5 months

The Seychelles shitposts are incredible

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

7 months

I know it’s cliche to say “I did not have this on my bingo card” now but…I did not have “Andrew Tate sides with Hamas because he’s anti-vaxx” on my bingo card

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

6 months

People will go crazy viral saying “here’s a truth that THEY never taught us” and it’s like an extremely mundane thing that you were absolutely taught in school but just didn’t pay attention to

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

7 months

I know this is a grim time and any jokes are in bad taste but I would be lying if I said my first thought wasn’t imagining Hitler seeing this and having a stroke

ian bremmer

@ianbremmer

7 months

brandenburg gate, berlin right now quite a statement from the german government

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

11 months

I am not asking anyone to sit around and feel sorry for the people on the submarine. I am asking you to refrain from saying “man it fucking rules a 19 year old died a horrifying death on a submarine.” Asking you to refrain from being an asshole is not asking you for empathy

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

24 days

Finally, a gamer in the White House

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

2 months

HR moments before announcing layoffs

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

6 months

chief of staff: Mr. President, Argentina has elected a far right, hyper capitalist Presidential candidate. joe biden [ munching block of Kerrygold butter ]: hot damn. we do that? chief of staff: weirdly enough, not this time, no.

Secretary Antony Blinken

@SecBlinken

6 months

We congratulate @JMilei on his election as President of Argentina. We look forward to continuing bilateral cooperation based on shared values and interests.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

2 years

Putin's array of yes men convincing him his military was far more capable than it actually was and Xi's propaganda campaign against Western mRNA vaccines forcing him to rely on COVID Zero are powerful reminders that, as messy as it can be, an open democratic discourse is superior

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

9 months

The weirdest thing about this is that Selena Gomez is literally half Mexican

La Coochie Versace

@CoochieReloaded

9 months

White women after saying gracias

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

4 months

how do you “nonviolently” launch missiles at a ship

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 years

during his nomination, Kavanaugh argued that he shouldn’t be held accountable for something he did as a teenager today, he ruled that teenagers should be imprisoned for life without a chance for parole

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

2 years

facts

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

9 months

Nobody wants to work anymore

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

2 years

this headline is so British I immediately dumped tea into a harbor upon reading it

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

“why don’t young women want to date young conservatives??!?” YOUNG CONSERVATIVES:

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 month

this website today

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

29 days

This is hilarious

Shashank Joshi

@shashj

29 days

From the DGSE documentary: “Some surveillance techniques are shown. For example, one agent displays how he replaces an HDMI cable in an office with another including a small SD card that records all video coming through such as Zoom calls.”

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

20 days

do you work with any incels of color

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

11 months

@edwardclarke This would be a more effective criticism of me if a) I had cheered those deaths b) Wasn’t the child of literal refugees

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 month

one idea that both left and right wing critics of Democrats seem to share is that Trump being elected is primarily punishment for Democrats—as if there isn’t an entire planet of people who will face real life and death consequences

Brendan Gutenschwager

@BGOnTheScene

1 month

“Enjoy Trump, ‘cuz we’re never voting for Biden” A pro-Palestine protester says to Biden supporters leaving from tonight’s fundraiser in New York

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

8 months

can I say something without everyone getting mad

New York Post

@nypost

8 months

Susan Collins jokes she’ll ‘wear a bikini’ in protest of ‘Fetterman Rule’

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

13 days

I have solved the US debt crisis

Daniel Feldman 🟦

@d_feldman

13 days

So technically under the law, TikTok does not actually HAVE to divest. They can instead pay a fine of $5,000 per user, which works out to... $850 billion.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

11 months

Every previous American would’ve dreamed of doing to Russia what Biden has done, at about 5% of our defense budget. This has to have been the most cost effective knee capping of a major geopolitical rival in history

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 year

a major difference between Millenials and Boomers is that, even as we have aged into marriage, we haven’t adopted the “ugh, I hate my wife” Boomer humor. There’s an entire genre of jokes about loathing your spouse we grew up with that just would not land these days

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 month

shako

@shakoistsLog

1 month

I’ve been cluster reading a lot of war memoirs recently, and I’ve noticed that compared to others, American soldiers never look forward to the glory of death. I see it in Japanese, German, Vietnamese soldiers, (Muslims obviously) but Americans fiendishly want to live.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

2 months

This is what someone sent me because I pointed out that someone who is so disabled they are incapable of microwaving a meal needs hands-on medical care and not DoorDash

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

If you donated any money to this you should be placed in a conservatorship

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 month

this is the single greatest pro-congestion pricing argument I’ve ever seen

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

6 months

The best Bin Laden tweet of all time remains undefeated

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

she’s literally mad at Black people for…having a nice time skiing

Lauren Witzke

@LaurenWitzkeDE

3 months

Diversity hits the slopes.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 month

@levelsio

1 month

Keep meeting non-US girls who watched too much Netflix and adopted a 100% US valley girl persona and accent while never having been to US "Oh my gawddd LIKE that's SO true!" Kinda mind boggling you can export entire personas via fibre optic cables

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

Between this and the “10,000 word essay on why I became an alcoholic who cheated on my husband” column I feel like The Cut’s business model is just hiring the most unhinged people imaginable and giving them a column

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

Thank you to the Republican Party for making this image Democratic Party coded now

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

Literally an hour after Biden says the President of Egypt is the President of Mexico Trump says the Prime Minister of Hungary is the President of Turkey. amazing

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

10 months

I am never leaving this website

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

5 months

BIDEN: Listen, Henry, I’m sorry, but my numbers in the 18-29 demo are looking grim KISSINGER: Vat are you saying… BIDEN [pulls out skull of a Cambodian child]: it’s time KISSINGER: my final horcrux

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

3 months

The absolutely best take on the Putin interview

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

10 months

The funniest part is I literally suggested this two days ago

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

4 months

Which country do the Vietnamese and Japanese see as an ally today, the United States or China?

veritable

@jabontan

4 months

"america's benevolent rule is the best outcome for the world" america's benevolent rule:

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

11 months

This indictment really does hit home that the US Government does not have secret knowledge of alien life. Trump would’ve told every car dealership owner who played a round of golf at Mar-a-Lago about the big, beautiful aliens with their yuge floating saucers

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

11 days

Joseph Kony? That’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time…

Rolling Stone

@RollingStone

12 days

Russian mercenaries are in "hot pursuit" of the notorious warlord Joseph Kony, after a bloody near-capture in a remote corner of the Central African Republic earlier this month, sources tell Rolling Stone.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

10 months

She’s been his ride or die since he was a sweaty nerd in college. They have three kids together. They’re both very normal looking middle-aged people. What is wrong with you?

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

4 months

a 100% automated store just asked me to tip. who am I tipping, a robot???

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

8 months

@AnaaVladescu what exactly did you hope to accomplish by tweeting this at me

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

11 months

RFK Jr. says vaccines cause autism, Wi-Fi causes cancer, there were no mass shootings before the invention of Prozac, and “has no position on the relationship between HIV/AIDs.” I am sick and tired of people normalizing this hateful, insane, bigoted lunatic

Peter Daou

@peterdaou

11 months

Looking objectively at the Dem field, @RobertKennedyJr is a MUCH better general election candidate than Biden. #RFKJr has high net favorables, independent and cross-party appeal, and would trounce any Republican. The establishment claim that Biden is more electable is absurd.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

4 months

The Case for Slavery, but from the Left

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

2 years

I LOVE my dog no matter what

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

6 months

It is honestly astounding that a guy who, by all accounts, is actually a very smart engineer, doesn’t understand the basics of correlation and causation. They were put on ventilators *because* they were dying!

Ray

@ray4tesla

6 months

80% of Covid patients put on ventilators died. This is probably most shocking revelation unknown to the public.

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

15 days

he’s real

Yukon Cornelius 🇵🇸

@NeeedlesEye

16 days

should not escape notice what this UAW activist cites as the beginning of his politicization

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

2 years

If Fetterman wins, Democrats are just gonna run an entire army of incredibly large Dudes next cycle

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

2 months

I think AOC clapping for Biden’s call to raise taxes on megacorporations is good

🟢dev DECKER ™️ ✊🏾

@dev_decker

2 months

AOC really became the same ineffective, party loyalist, establishment democrat she criticized to get elected

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

1 month

I’m sure the guy whose ear they cut off during interrogation is a credible source

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Armand Domalewski

@ArmandDoma

4 months

DEI in Academia: why “being on time” is colonialist white supremacy DEI in Corporate: Did you know it was bad to demand your employee have sex with you for a promotion?

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