Four-eyed Edo Boy™ @Alex_Houseof308 Twitter profile

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

6 years

Crush: Why should I trust you? All the guys I've been dating have been dogs. Me: ......... Crush: Well? Aren't you going to say anything? Me: ........... meow

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

10 months

“Hello, Guinness World Record office, how can we help you today?” “Yes, hello, I’m calling from Nige…”

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 months

“Your cerelac is ready, where do you want it?” “Put it on my head”

Pulse Nigeria

@PulseNigeria247

4 months

This is the first time a kid will be so calm for a birthday photoshoot 😂🤩

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Aproko doctor wan raise money for a protester wey need prosthetic leg. The time frame na 30 days, but in less than 2 hours, people don donate PASS the limit. Over N1.5 million!!! Nigerians just dey give me joy 😩 #EndSARS #ENDBADGOVERNANCE

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

When you check the noise outside, only to see Superman smashing your new car on Doomsday’s head

Sosa 🇵🇸🕋

@jamz13_

3 years

Being a civilian in a city of superhero’s must be so long 😭

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

OBO and Burna fight for Ghana? Wetin we no go cedis year?

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

5 years

When you realize you’ll never get to hear Nicki tell us how these bitches is her sons anymore 😭

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

2 years

Just when I thought she couldn’t make me any happier than she already does, my baby @__Faves , added an Angel to our lives 🥰

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

11 months

This one almost unalived me the first time I saw it 😂😂😭😭😂😂

𝕞𝕪𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕪

@mystree_

11 months

what's the funniest tiktok video you've ever seen?

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

5 years

Damn. If only you had something else to shade your eyes from the sun

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

*Clears throat* Well, people of God.....

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

CNN with the biggest “This you?” of 2020

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 months

“Felt cute, might divide the Red Sea later”

💬

@deejay_103

3 months

About to buy this sandal , does it look nice ?

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

🎶 One person, 3 time for the 2 gbosa wey born me 🎶 Baiday boy 🥳

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

2 years

My child entering the labor market after graduating from the ₦600k per term Crèche

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

11 months

“Some of you took student loans to come to my hall and write rubbish…”

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 months

“Yes ma, put that Antelope leg, yes, the one wey Eagle chop remain” #NGAANG

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 months

A bet is a bet, bring it!!!

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

8 months

4 years + 8 months ASUU strike + One year pandemic break = Me, finally out of UNIBEN 🕺

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

Chelsea fans: GOALLLLLLL!!! VAR:

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

Put ya hands on my Shouuuuuu

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

“It’s not as if I don’t want to go down on you, but Aproko Doctor said no eating after 7 pm”

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Pete Edochie probably flogs like "Do you know why I am flogging you? Because the child that says his father will not sleep *tawai* he too *tawai* shall not *tawai* sleep" "Daddy please" "The cocoyam *tawai* does not *tawai* grow *tawai* without the permission *tawai* of his..."

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

5 years

[A year from now] Baby: Ch...ch... Chioma: DAVID!!!! Our baby’s about to say first words Davido: *Runs to crib* Baby: Ch...chhh.. Chioma: *Screams* It’s my name!!!! Baby: Chhh... Chioma: Ch..ioma..come on..chioma Baby: Ch...Ch...CHEEEEEE! SHEKPE!!

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

This Igbo girl left my friend for a Spanish guy, coz he has money. My friend had love to give, but she wanted Di ego

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

“Hello, just calling “New Kwantry, to confirm the who dis?” debt repayment...”

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

I’ve been telling this man, Mr. Temitope, that my surname “Oriaifo” has 2 I’s but he keeps spelling it Oriafo. Today he sent an email “Hello Mr. Oriafo...” & I replied “Good day Mr. Temtope”. I’ve always believed in an I for an I

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

The fat mistake a lot of us made back in secondary school was, we thought science class was for “intelligent”people, while art and commercial were for those who struggled a little

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Our senators go chook N1,242,122 newspaper allowance for pocket, con go read the news online jeje. Yahoo yahoo no pass like this

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

[The 4 most addictive drugs in the world] C₁₇H₂₁NO₄ - Cocaine C₂₁H₂₃NO₅ - Heroin C₁₀H₁₄N₂ - Nicotine CL ₂(OU ₃)T - Clout

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Therapist: You say your husband is childish? Her: Yes. Dear, tell her what you said last night when we quarrelled Him: I said I'd table the matter before my mom for further diagnosis & experienced insight Her: Say it exactly how you said it Him: I will tell my mummy for you

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

5 months

29 on the 29th. Happy birthday to me 🥳

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

When you didn't prepare for the exam "Charlie charlie, I take God beg you...."

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

2 years

Just look what Favour got me for my birthday 🥺😭

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

#BBNaija Nengi: You're too peaceful for me. I don't like guys who are peaceful. Every time peace peace Ozo:

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

2 months

Pяom🌚

@3ffizzzyy

2 months

i just know it’ll be chaotic if a boyfriend got on stage to rock and grind ayra starr or tiwa savage

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Woke up to balloons all over my profile, what’s happening? 🤔

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

1 year

“Shekpe”

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Mum: Sweetie, where do I put your Cerelac? Her: Put it on my head

CHISOM

@_chisomokafor

4 years

Bomboclaat

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 months

Onion Cider

@abbietayo

4 months

You attract what you fear.

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Woke up super early to gather those water droplets that appear on leaves in the early morning for my landlord. Such a weird man, I've been trying to raise money to pay my rent but it turns out he does not even want money. Last night, he called me and told me my rent is dew

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Real pidgin speakers know that "I dey gym" and "I dey gym" are two different sentences

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

“Women are not safe in this country” is honestly not a statement you should get defensive, or feel pressed about.

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

"What are they saying babe? Are they buying it?"

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@stefflondon

4 years

He is doing something that will help out allot more than just sending out tweet, I promise. ❤️🙏🏾 #HeIsWorking #GodKnows #EndSARS #EndPoliceBrutality

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Don Jazzy: Shey na casual something? Ebuka: Yeah man, I fit even wear knicker and pam go the thing sef, no stress #BetwayGameOn [One hour later]:

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

2 years

Police: Are you Igbo? Emeka: No sir Police: Hmm, okay what do you call 3 kids born at the same time, by the same woman? Emeka: Three plates Police: Sergeant! Take him away!!!

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

2 years

Guinea Bissau laughing at Nigeria

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Me: *Finishes eating* I can read your mind Waiter: Liar Me: If I read your mind, you give me N10k. If I can’t, I’ll give you Waiter: Deal Me: *Runs out of the restaurant* W: *Chases after me* Me: *Stops* You’re thinking I was trying to leave without paying Waiter: Bastard!

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

I'm not an introvert, I just dey fear SARS

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

When my older bro made his first football team in primary school, I was goalie. When he coached principal’s cup in secondary school, na me dey post. When he started our street club, I wan strike, but he put me for post. All my life I’ve been my brother’s keeper

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

These bastards just shot at us at ring road. It’s not over. They’re not going to change #Beninprotest

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

2 years

“Please babe, don’t call off the wedding, it was just 8:05 a.m”

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

6 years

#FRAARG #WorldCup A short story involving Nigeria, Argentina and France

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

I was having a bad day, so I bought a bottle of Vodka, gin and whisky, put them in an elevator and sent them to the top floor. Didn't have a good reason, just needed something to lift my Spirits

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

Happy birthday Thank you. Mama Ify

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

5 years

Smelling good is actually a super power. This guy at the ATM today had on the best perfume I've ever smelled in my life. He asked the girl directly in front of me for her number and I nearly gave him my own too 😂😂

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Interviewer: Why do you think you deserve a job here? Me: When my brother was a kid, I collected N1,000 note from him and gave him two 5 naira notes. I told him I was taking one money & giving him two money Interviewer: Gaddemit, you’re hired!!! Welcome to Binomo enterprises

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

Zlatan: Ehen, how far that money na? Cuppy:

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

If you've not been to Lagos before and someone describes it to you, you'll think it's one razz, loud place full of angry people and end to end traffic lmaoooo. But when you visit for yourself, you'll discover it's actually worse

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Coz I pranked him last week, my roommate took my wallet and hid it under one newspaper. Lmaooo, it took me less than 20 minutes to find it The mumu forgot that nothing can remain hidden under The Sun

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Moses go just dey observe Lagos from heaven like "Wow, this brings back memories"

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

The #EndSARS BTC donations really pain these people sha. E pain them reach bone

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

Whatever you do in the university, abeg, no ever use mistake address your lecturer wey be “Dr”, as “Mr”

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

My neighbor hates preparing food for his horses with his son, coz the boy always finds ways to mess things up. So instead, he’ll ask the boy to polish his shoes to keep him busy, and then he’ll hurry to the stables to work. He makes hay while the son shines

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Lot: I miss her so much Abraham: Your wife? I know. Stop crying, just take heart and move on, okay? Lot: Okay, I will, I will, I’m over it Abraham: Good. So, food is almost ready, let me just add salt Lot:

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Sometimes buying fake jeans isn't a bad thing. You bought deep blue jeans, but wash it once, now you have light blue jeans to slay different with. Wash it once more, now you have white jeans. If na transparent jeans be your spec, you know what to do. 4 in 1 drip 😍

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

The gases no longer invite Nitrogen oxide to play ball cos he always says NO. They don't ask his brother Nitrogen dioxide, coz he says NO₂. Dem no dey ever ask Oxygen, because that one na Otu

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

6 months

This is still one of my favorite interactions on this app 😂

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Took my small cousin to the park. I said "Play with jangolova" & this unemployed rascal went "You mean the swing?" We're on our way back home. Since he's smart, he can swing to his room & do his quantitative homework without my help. Lemme see how he'll get 5/10 again without me

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

“Felt cute, might divide the Red Sea later”

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

This guy just yabbed the avocado I was eating and vanished. First time I’ll be seeing someone diss a pear

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

26 days

Ink ⚡️

@_tattoos_4life

28 days

Please stop saying Black Americans and Africans look alike. These mfs got bowling ball heads.

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

I remember when siamese twins came to my class. Nice kids. They shared one body, 2 arms, 2 legs, so they entered into the school as one student. That term, they took 1st & I came 2nd. Imagine the joy I felt when my mom asked me "The person who took first, did they have 2 heads?"

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

5 years

When you visit your aunty and as you’re trying to relax you hear her telling her child “Your senior cousin just came. He’s in the university, so go & show him that your further maths assignment”

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

I'm chilling at this newspaper stand trying to think of a newspaper pun but this security man protecting a storage van, keeps distracting me. It's annoying. So This Day, I think I will Punch that Van Guard

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 months

Stir fry Twitter rn

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Put indomie for fire, before e ready, you don play 3 Joe boy songs finish

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

10 months

Our salon is open for business 💇‍♂️💇‍♀️💅🕺

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Genie: I’ll grant you one wish Mazi Ibe: I wish to be an app Genie: Easy, done Mazi EBay: Wow

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

2 years

Currently practicing my “African father watching bad news on TV” pose

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Fashola: I know you like snitching but please don’t tell pastor you saw me having sex please. I promised to remain a virgin Sandra: Okay [During choir practice] Sandra: Do re mi... Pastor: Why the pause? Go on Sandra: .....Fashola ti do

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

5 years

South Africans tweet like those people who were building the tower of Babel and got struck with another language midway "So I was just going home today and Bathong, Uhuru, Mafikizolo wena gwara gwara..."

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

When you tell am say the hair wey you wan buy na 200k, your boyfriend wey dey smile before go just bone straight

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

N7,452,736.50 as furniture allowance Their chair, table and joko do usually break every month or what?

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

Doctor: So we want to ask if you can donate one of your kidneys Me: Doctor: Sir? Me: M...my mummy has counted it

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Because we need police brutality to end asun as possible #EndPoliceBrutalityinNigeria

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Husband: When I talk, you listen. I’m your husband, your lord. In fact, I’m your god! Wife: [Later] Husband: Where’s my food woman? Wife: *Serves him* Husband: What is this black thing? Wife: Your first burnt offering oh lord

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Please it’s almost 4 pm. If you’re in Benin city, enter house, make dem no use you fill the empty cells wey dem by themselves create for prison #EndSARS

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

In case Nepa no allow you see Bovi shirt just now #14thHeadies

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

The government’s PR team right now

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Teacher: What comes after 5 6 7 8 9? Me: 10 Teacher: So why did you write “Alayo mi ni”?

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Called my girl and told her I was in the police station and she didn't even flinch. This is someone I would do anything for and this information didn't move her. With all the bad stories we hear, she didn't even seem concerned about what I said. Or is it because I work there?

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

Love how easily the #EndSARS hashtag trends without warning. Make these old men heart cut small when dem login

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@Alex_Houseof308

3 years

Jacob collecting Esau’s birthright after deceiving his father with goat skin

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Ah yes, a fine Saturday. Saturdays are for sanitation, and we must sanitize our police force. So do your chores, enjoy your pap and akara, and passionately lend your voice to the #EndSARS #EndPoliceBrutality movement ✊

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 years

Coza member: Opposite of "off the"? Me: On the CM: What's after 11th of June? Me: 12th of June...weird questions CM: E get why. Where'll you be tomorrow? Me: I'll be at.. CM: Stop Me: But CM: Say "Coza" Me: Coza [Later] Me on TV: On the. 12th of June. I'll be at. Coza.

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Four-eyed Edo Boy™

@Alex_Houseof308

4 months

My guy bin get one yeye hack for this thing, the animal was also the food 😂 Animal: Zebra Food: Zebra meat 😭😂