Tuxlok @tulokthe Twitter profile

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Tuxlok

4 years

Thank you for getting me to 100,000 subscribers! To thank you, I watched the Dungeons & Dragons movie! But it was actually... good? #dungeonsanddragons

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

The X in "X-mas" isn't meant to replace Christ. X is the Greek letter for Chi, but pronounced "Key". Jesus was a vessel with no darkness, meant to battle Vanitas, a being of pure darkness, to create the X-blade, a weapon of ultimate power to open the true Kingdom Hearts.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

2 years

Fullmetal Alchemist fans only have one joke. We used to have two, but we were curious to see what would happen if we combined them

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

4 years

Town Priest: The witches that control the woods are evil. Girl: What do they do? Priest: They aren't heteronormative or patriarchal, do lots of drugs and have sex with each other. Girl: Omg, what specific parts of the woods are they in, so I can avoid them extra hard?

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

10 months

"X" is more than just one letter. It's a symbol. The Greek symbol for "Chi" or the "X Blade" which will be formed when Ventus (a being of no darkness) fights Vanitas (a being made of darkness) and open the door to the power of Kingdom Hearts.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

This reads differently when you remember Daniel Craig hates playing James Bond. Its not "no girls allowed" it's "please give the girls something better to do.

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@tulokthe

2 years

Wow, anyone else get major D&D vibes from that new Legend of Vox Machina show?

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

1 year

OK, as a generation, let's agree we NEVER want thank you cards. This tradition dies with our parents. If I got you a gift, I just want you to enjoy it. Don't give me paper congratulating my generosity.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

If you're ever worried the names in your D&D game are too on the nose, remember that the Rocky Mountains are a real thing.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

People see Wizards of the Coast phasing out racist stuff from D&D and are like "damn, the racism was my favorite part."

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

This was in my drafts for a week. With a typo. Goddammit.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

2 years

I have definitely had people upset because I wasn't Matt Mercer. To be fair, I said I was Matt Mercer in the Craigslist post and I robbed them. But I think both sides have a fair point in this debate.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

1 year

Got your Knives Out 3 cast right here

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

"Theres no sexism in the D&D community." Ok, well I've only made videos about female characters this month, with one exception. Here's my subscriber graph. Can you guess which day we had a male character?

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

Choosing violence again today: I dont give a fuck what Reddit told you is the optimal class Reddit's idea of D&D is 80% combat 20% rules lawyering and 0% actual roleplaying. Its an echo chamber where every character has to be a Battle Master, Paladin or Wizard. Boring as hell.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

11 days

Obviously, TERF is bad for TERF reason, and Daniel Radcliffe is rad for supporting trans people. But also, the "I gave you a job, you owe me" is always insane. He DID the JOB. That's the end of the "owe". You had a job you needed someone to do. He did it. "Owe" is done.

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

11 days

Daniel Radcliffe on critics calling him ungrateful to J.K. Rowling: “Obviously Harry Potter would not have happened without her, so nothing in my life would have probably happened the way it is without that person. But that doesn’t mean that you owe the things you truly believe…

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@tulokthe

2 years

Hey look, it's relevant again. I wish it wouldn't be. 🙃🙃🙃

Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

People see Wizards of the Coast phasing out racist stuff from D&D and are like "damn, the racism was my favorite part."

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

5 months

JoCat is the nicest person. Never posted anything negative about anyone. Absolutely deserved no shit from anyone, and we don't deserve creators like JoCat until the internet is collectively less cruel. So probably never. And that sucks.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

2 years

God I hate this. For so many reasons. 1. Not every kind of sex results in pregnancy 2. Pregnancy can be a very heavy topic for some people, for a multitude of reasons 3. Just talk to your players if you don't want to have sex in the game. Like an adult.

DND Memes

@MemesDnd

2 years

Protection is important, and I don't mean AC 🧙🏻‍♂️⚔️🤓 OC: Futuramoist #dungeonsanddragons #gamenight #dndminiatures #tabletopgames #d20 #follow #cleric

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@tulokthe

3 years

Hot Take: fudging rolls as the DM is fine. Some of yall act like it's more important for D&D to be random than it is for D&D to be fun. If my players seem like they're genuinely overwhelmed, they get a break. If the fight seems trivial to them, it gets harder.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

1 year

Yes, JK Rowling hurts trans people and perpetuates violence against them with her rhetoric. But have you thought about how much you hurt me- a gamer- when you ask me not to buy a video game?

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@tulokthe

10 months

@StevenMace16 No, I'm saying he IS the Nort. An evil old man obsessed with making young people unhappy? Vague goals that are either intentionally killing something people like, or just the delusional chess moves of someone eating the pieces as they play? Thats NORT.

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@tulokthe

3 years

So in the next 3 years we're getting: Loki Black Widow Shang Chi Hawkeye The Eternals Ms. Marvel Spider-Man 3 What If... She Hulk Doctor Strange 2 Moon Knight Black Panther 2 Thor 4 The Marvels Secret Invasion Ant Man & Wasp Quantumania Guardians 3 Fantastic Four ...thats it?

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@tulokthe

3 years

Rule's Lawyers have so much time to read the rules because nobody invites them to play D&D.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

2 years

Don't buy the Harry Potter game. Buy that other game. You know THAT one? The one that you were like "oh that looks cool, I should check it out when I have the time!" But then you never actually checked it out. I have like 100 of those games, so I'm gonna play one of those.

Cypher ⚔️ 🏳️‍🌈 @ home till TCEU

@cypheroftyr

2 years

Don't buy the Harry Potter game.

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@tulokthe

4 years

Baby Grookey: when I gwow up, I wanna pway the drums! Me: Awhhhhh Baby Scrobunny: I'm gonna pway soccer when I'm a big kid! Me: AWHHHHH Baby Sobble: I'm going to have the most confirmed kills in the history of the Galarian military. Me: AHHHHHHHH #PokemonDirect

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@tulokthe

5 years

Roses are red Our love will last Oh wait, it's my turn? I cast eldritch blast Love, -A Warlock

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

One of my favorite guilty pleasures is watching Hyper Masculinity become SO MASCULINE that it morphs into homo-eroticism.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

4 years

K looks like this is going to be my most liked tweet ever. Shout outs to the witches who retweeted it, ya'll are cool, let's be friends. I have a YouTube channel where I make builds for fictional characters in D&D, check that out if you want.

Tulok the Barbrarian

Tulok is a librarian cursed with incredible strength and the soul of an angry frost giant. To calm down, he analyzes fictional characters and creates builds of them in Dungeons & Dragons. I had my...

www.youtube.com

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

Sometimes I wish there was a series of videos that would help me build my favorite fictional characters in Dungeons & Dragons.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

2 years

I know every Fandom has some bad eggs, but I never get shit from Adventure Zone or Dimension 20 communities. And there's another community that gives me headaches twice a month.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

2 years

STOP calling BAYONETTA a "HACK AND SLASH" game. It is a "HAIR AND TEAR" and there should be more of them

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

10 months

Ok, shifting my online brand to be "jokes about the X-Blade" I guess

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

Video game villains shouldn't be able to say "you could've joined me!!!" if the game doesn't give you the option to join them. Hey. I would have. I think you're hot.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

If you're a dude in the TTRPG space whose never witnessed sexism in the community, thats kind of telling. Literally every woman I know in the space has.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

Kiki's Delivery Service is a fun fantasy movie, where the fantasy element is rich people being nice to a service worker.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

4 years

Dick Grayson set the bar pretty high for all future Robin's, but I think we can all agree that Jason got hit by that bar.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

2 years

Finally read the One D&D doc, planning on writing a full video about my thoughts (there are a lot of them). I think the most controversial rule change is having to prove you've touched a boob irl to play paladin. Very interesting choice, but I see what they were going for.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

Life Domain Cleric, healthcare is a variant human right! (That's just a pun, of COURSE healthcare extends to all creatures)

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

1 year

Lots of people taking credit for the SRD being added to the creative commons. "We did it!" No. I did it. Me. Alone. First Thursday in 4 years I haven't posted a D&D video. The next day, they fix D&D. You think that's a coincidence? Don't be a fool. You're welcome.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

2 years

It makes sense that Boomers are celebrating the end of mask mandates. Its a participation trophy, which (despite their whining), is something they invented. We didn't "beat" the pandemic. We lost. We lost way too fucking much because some people wouldn't stop participating.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

Hot take: paladins are fucking sexy as hell, holy shit. Clerics just simp for their diety, but paladins are so hot the gods simp for them.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

2 years

Weird that nobody had an issue with Zagreus being a Cleric when he gets his powers from the Greek gods, but lots of people think Khonshu is a Warlock Patron as an Egyptian God. I wonder what the difference is...

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

1 year

Remember when I said we were transitioning to OneDnD? Nah. We'll just transition to Pathfinder, I don't wanna do this shit again. Still gonna upload the finished 5e episodes, but I'll be focusing on learning 2e and rebooting. Great job getting a timely statement out champ!

Dungeons & Dragons

@Wizards_DnD

1 year

Over the past week we have witnessed an incredible outpour of passion and dedication from our community working together to protect and cultivate the inclusive environment of Dungeons & Dragons. Please read our update on the Open Game License:

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

I do not know what I can do to make this more clear: I do not want to hear about how you hate a character that's mostly for women. I dislike you. I dont want you engaging with my videos. I chose to make the video. I wasn't forced to by the SJWs. I am the SJW. Shut up.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

Add "using a wanted poster of your character to roll a blunt" to your D&D bucket list everyone.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

"Well you can't just expect Activision to fire everyone who contributed to toxic culture, its not that easy." Activision in March:

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@tulokthe

2 years

"You can't wild shape into an Owlbear." Wow, you know what would be WILD? If you ever saw the SHAPE of grass.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

"We're not racist, we're just so wildly incompetent at our jobs that we keep accidentally killing people" is not the defense you think it is.

WFLA NEWS

@WFLA

3 years

'Accidental discharge': The police chief in a Minneapolis suburb where a Black man was fatally shot during a traffic stop said Monday that he believes the officer who fired intended to use a Taser, not a handgun.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

1 year

Excited to announce I will no longer make D&D content. From now on, I will be making "I'm not making D&D content" content. And occasionally "why you need to be afraid of Wizards of the Coast" content. (Because they're changing D&D- which I will no longer make content for.)

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

1 year

Captain America: Special thanks to all the non-Avengers for helping us against Annihulus! Let us know if we can repay you in any way! Cyclops: Civil rights- Cap: Not that Daredevil: There are so many ninjas- Cap: No Blade: I'm the only one on vampire duty- Cap: Also no.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

1 year

Hold up- Paizo is unionized AND open source? Kinda wish I didn't have like 30 extra Building Characters already edited...

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@tulokthe

2 years

The Princess Bride is great, because it asks the question: what if a movie was very fun?

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

1 year

@Wizards_DnD "This was just a first draft" sweetie, the first draft was 1.0 and we all liked it. This is a "Greedo Shot First" situation. Except in this case, Greedo also looked directly into camera, said he was gonna copy your Ao3 fics and there wasn't anything you could do to stop him.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

4 years

Alignment is a fake mechanic invented by Warlocks to keep the nerds out.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

18 days

D&D people making me want to erase all evidence of my D&D channel from the face of the internet.

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@tulokthe

3 years

Me: There should be a dog race in D&D. Me running a one-shot to playtest a dog race, and realizing my monsters have to attack the dog: oh there should not be a dog race in D&D.

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@tulokthe

2 years

"You call everyone who disagrees with you a bigot" What are we disagreeing about though?

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@tulokthe

11 months

Your honor, my client is simply too stupid to be found guilty. That's why I would like him to be president instead.

The Intellectualist

@highbrow_nobrow

11 months

Ben Shapiro says Trump mishandled classified documents “not for any nefarious purpose, but because Trump likes things and so he takes them” @JasonSCampbell

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@tulokthe

2 years

I know I'm a Marvel simp, but: Peter fighting a bunch of villains he's never met: 😒😒😒 Peter trying to save people who hate him from an antagonist Dr. Strange, thus contrasting his valuing of individual life against Strange's goal to save the most amount of people: 👀👀👀

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@tulokthe

3 years

Can't believe Universal would risk ruining the reputation of this classic franchise by associating it with Jurassic World

We Got This Covered

@wgtc_site

3 years

Universal Reportedly Wants A Fast & Furious And Jurassic World Crossover - #FastampFurious #JurassicWorld

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

I forgot to mention this, but I quit smoking a year ago. I actually noticed yesterday, but thats a holiday for the other kind of smokers. I didn't want to steal their thunder.

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@tulokthe

1 year

"OK, hear me out-" DOES NOT APPLY to buff, Matt Mercer voiced Ganondorf. That is a conventionally attractive man. "OK, hear me out-" is for people who want to fuck the Korok Seed Guy, or the Ooccoo from Twilight Princess, or Jabu Jabu from OoT.

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@tulokthe

3 years

All of Spider-Man's villains are Artificers to remind Peter what would happen if he used his brilliant mind for evil. All Batman's villains are Bards because Bruce is a messy bitch who lives for drama.

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@tulokthe

1 year

These are the characters me and the boys will make if you say you're running a grimdark campaign.

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@tulokthe

3 years

Y'all can't be transphobic in my replies and think you're not getting blocked. How does this keep surprising people?

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

Gollum was the original gatekeeper. He had something he loved, didn't want to share it, and isolated himself with it. He both blamed and thanked the thing he loved for making him a slimy troll. Someone finally talks to him, and his first instinct is "name EVERY riddle."

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

CW: Weight loss Pre-Pandemic vs. Still a pandemic but I'm vaccinated. Thanks for supporting me, I couldn't have done this without you.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

2 years

Before this gets out of hand: I know! That's the joke! 🙂

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@tulokthe

3 years

Omg, what's that underneath the top tentacle??

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@tulokthe

2 years

Yes I'm reading comments, but HOLY moly this one is funny. Well played!

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@tulokthe

3 years

Warlocks get their spell slots back on short rest because they're patrons have to give them 2 breaks for every 8 hours of adventuring. Thank God they unionized, it used to be much worse.

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@tulokthe

3 years

Sailor Moon understands what it's like dating in a capatilist society.

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@tulokthe

3 years

It's hard being an Marvel fan. I want to bully Marvel into making a movie like the DC people do, but Marvel is already making all the shows and movies I could think of.

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@tulokthe

3 years

Sailor Moon said give the teachers a raise. Truly a leftist icon.

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@tulokthe

3 years

Mass Effect really covers every type of person you could be attracted to for romance options. Hot Lizard, Bubble Girl, Sad Hot Lizard, Skullet Illithid, Jacob, Human Push Up, Spacist, that guy you killed in the first one, Anger, and Dwight Shrute shaped like a sex doll.

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@tulokthe

3 years

Hey, I just paid off my credit card debt, which means now I only have ONE source of soul crushing debt preventing me from building equity or meaningfully investing in my future. Can I get a hell yeah?

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@tulokthe

1 year

Sickening that people would make jokes about this. Falling is so dangerous for people like Mitch. His back is strong, but his belly is weak for avian predators, and his legs are too weak to roll himself back over.

Pop Crave

@PopCrave

1 year

Sen. Mitch McConnell has been hospitalized after falling at a hotel in Washington, D.C., @ABC reports.

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@tulokthe

1 year

D&D movie was really good. There's clearly a lot of love for the game, most notably so many schemes and plans that would make a DM go "dammit... I guess?" No real need for any D&D Lore knowledge though. Everything is explained for noobs, but not lingered on. 🍿 🍿 🍿 🍿 🍿

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@tulokthe

3 years

Yall, I thought NFTs were dumb when I thought they were just ugly ass artwork that somehow uses enough energy to make a house run for a year. But holy shit, it's just a RECEIPT for ugly ass artwork? Go to CVS and buy a Snickers, it will BLOW YOUR FUCKING MIND.

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@tulokthe

1 year

@isfridayTV "I like that a natural one is an automatic failure, it's fun..." OK, I guess we can have a difference of opinion but- "...AND THIS IS WHY I LOVE SLAVERY."

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@tulokthe

2 years

Someone said Final Fantasy X is less "in your face" about politics than games now. So going on a quest to stop a religious group from exploiting disasters and stoking fear about an "other" to maintain political power is much less overt than "girl main character"

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@tulokthe

1 year

Holy shit, I love that this is how I found out

DiscussingFilm

@DiscussingFilm

1 year

‘Home Alone 2: Lost in New York’ star Donald Trump has been indicted on criminal charges.

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@tulokthe

1 year

My Tax professional asked if I was seriously trying to write off $12000 for improv classes. I said "Yes. And?"

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@tulokthe

4 months

Coming soon: "Tuloks Guide to Rolling Dice." Put the dice in your hand, shake it a little, then lightly toss it on the table. The number on top is what you tell your DM you rolled.

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@tulokthe

4 years

It's my birthday today, and I used to keep that under wraps because I didn't think I was worthy celebrating. But my self-esteem is better now, and I can't do shit this year because of Covid. So. Learn from me, don't wait, love yourself as soon as you can. Happy birthday to me

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@tulokthe

3 years

I'm gonna say it: Gollum deserves to be an honorary member of the Fellowship. He was very helpful. Maybe he tried to murder Frodo to steal the ring for his own uses, but so did Boromir. Boromir just gets a pass because his eyes are "sad" and not "way too big for his head".

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@tulokthe

3 years

If yall want "the next generation" to solve climate change, the VERY LEAST you can do is make college and healthcare free. "You can save the world, but you gotta give me 100 thousand dollars to learn how. And also never get sick." Bad pitch.

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@tulokthe

2 years

The bar is so goddamn low. Biden won't burn your house down. He also will not stop anyone else from burning your house down, help you rebuild your house or make your house harder to burn down. But he won't burn it down himself. This is a metaphor, I know none of us own houses.

Forbes

@Forbes

2 years

#BREAKING : Biden won’t extend student loan relief

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@tulokthe

1 year

Surely this won't be a controversial video...

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@tulokthe

2 years

Four years ago I made a mistake and uploaded a YouTube video about D&D. Happy anniversary and I'm sorry

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@tulokthe

1 year

Turning characters from a movie into a character sheet seems kinda lazy to me ngl

Dungeons & Dragons

@Wizards_DnD

1 year

Have a fun #DnDMovie inspired game night by taking on the role of your favorite character from the film and returning to Revel's End for an all new adventure. Click the link to add the Revel's End adventure to your @DnDBeyond account at no cost:

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@tulokthe

3 years

If anyone from Wizards of the Coast would like to make a barbarian that focuses on improvised weapons and unarmed fighting I would be very grateful. You don't even have to credit it me, just make the character in the art wear glasses, I'll know you did it for me 🥺🥺🥺🥺

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@tulokthe

1 year

Oh my God, "day x of asking for..." is the WORST way to get a creators attention. I literally will delay videos if I see people do that for characters

CB!

@CriticalBard

1 year

Saw this and had to say something. Please... PLEASE don't do things like this. Unnecessary spam will get you nowhere & it also sets a precedence that if they ignore you, then they are in the wrong. This is... just not the way to do this.

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@tulokthe

4 years

Please. Dear fucking god. Dont do this shit.

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@tulokthe

3 years

Rogue: I rolled a 32 on my stealth check. 8 Dexterity Paladin in full plate:

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@tulokthe

3 years

Lord help me, I'm having fun making thumbnails.

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@tulokthe

2 years

Finally saw Barbarian. Its pretty fucked up... that Justin Long owning an Air BnB property is only like the 4th worst thing about him.

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@tulokthe

4 years

Struggles every DM faces: Scheduling Guiding the players without railroading Combat difficulty Making the campaign a metaphor for the failures of capitalism NPC names

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

4 years

Fighter: What did you put in this tea? Something bit me while I was drinking it. Warlock: Oh that was a snake. It's a little venomous, but it will help you fall asleep! Fighter: Why? Warlock: It's Yawn Tea. Fighter: Did your patron put you up to this? Warlock: Busted.

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Tuxlok

@tulokthe

3 years

Oh wow, this went kind of viral! Check out my YouTube channel, I'm sure this is the right link:

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