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@swandating

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Making dating better. Research about love, chemistry, biology and more.

Joined November 2021
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@swandating
Swan
11 months
Most dating apps in the UK are 85% men or more. We've been working to change this for a while... and have just done the latest maths on our members. 👇 🎉🥳👯‍♀️
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@swandating
Swan
7 months
T̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶r̶s̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶e̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶r̶u̶n̶ ̶s̶m̶o̶o̶t̶h̶ ̶ Meet Annie and Jasper. 💕
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@swandating
Swan
10 months
New blog: what makes people cheat on their partners? Featuring excerpts from our survey on infidelity, as shown. Link in next tweet ⬇️
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Our web app launches today. If you've completed the character assessment, keep an eye on your inbox.😎
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
We are now imprisoning our CTO until link previews work properly.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Our character assessment is now live, and everyone on the UK waiting list has been invited to complete it. Welcome aboard 🥰
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@swandating
Swan
8 months
We've just launched our latest product: Psyche. Learn what our AI thinks of you at
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
And, of course, no article about age gaps would be complete without the seminal graphs from OKCupid:
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
We're now collecting reviews on @Trustpilot . Thanks to one of our lovely members for kicking things off 🥰 🍾
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
"Now, a new generation is attempting to soothe our choice fatigue by urging single citizens to relax and leave things in their hands. A clear example is start-up dating site Swan"
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Today is a good day: we've just sent the first two of these emails. Here's to the recipients! 🍾
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
👀
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Nonetheless: if you're partner-hunting, the evidence says you're most likely to find happiness with someone born 1-4 years either side of you. And bear in mind that social stigma can bind couples together (we've written about it), but it can also be their downfall. Choose wisely!
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
We love making your life easier. Soon, you'll be able to share your availability for the next 30 days without sending so much as an email. ⚙️🔧
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
... but so do human women! Women under 25 have a significantly higher risk of miscarriage than those aged 25-35, and infants are more likely to be stillborn to mothers aged 24 or younger than they are to mothers aged 25-39.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
If you're used to the apps, it's easy to see dating as something basically adversarial: you both want something from each other, and if you don't think you'll get it then you write them off. We think about things differently:
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@swandating
Swan
8 months
Psyche is free to everyone who's completed their character assessment – you'll just need to be logged in to see it. Let us know what you think!
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
And here it is: the longread on whether physical attractiveness is subjective. 🧵
@ellegist
elle
1 year
threading all of this over at @swandating in a sec!
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Of course, there are exceptions.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
...whereas for women, having a partner who is either considerably older or considerably younger tends to shorten lifespan. The greater the age gap (in either direction), the shorter her life.
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
We've blogged on faith, love, and gender norms:
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
🔧⚙️
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
But most men avoid approaching much younger women too. Humans want more than a maximally fertile mate as a life partner: we want someone with whom we share habits, friends, hobbies, and a frame of reference. And we're most likely to find those things with others of our own age.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Women in particular are happiest with partners of their own age, rather than with older men. This coincides with what we know about death rates: for men, having a younger spouse is linked to improved longevity...
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
The news isn't immediately brilliant: larger age gaps than average are associated with higher divorce rates – and the bigger the age gap, the higher the likelihood of divorce.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Save the date: we are delighted to announce that we’ll be closing our very first round of investment on 31st August! 🍾🥳 Get in touch if you’re late to the party but still want to join, otherwise— see you on the other side!
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
We care about making your life simpler. So it's now even easier to loop us in on your relationship status. Just flip a switch to let us know that you're off the market, and we'll stop matching you.
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
Cleopatra VII, the famously brilliant and beautiful ruler of Ptolemaic Egypt, had only one set of great-great-great-great grandparents. This makes her statistically more inbred than the Habsburg Charles II of Spain, who was severely physically disabled and died at 38.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Unfortunately, after that there's a drop big enough to wipe out the initial gain. Couples with age gaps of 4+ years experience lower relationship satisfaction as time goes by. And the bigger the age gap, the lower the satisfaction.
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@swandating
Swan
10 months
Our first mini-series on the blog is going to be about sex work. Let us know what you'd like to learn, & we'll look into it. Expect interviews, science, & sociology ☺️
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
The stats: - men over 40 are about 30% less likely to be able to create a pregnancy than men under 30, even controlling for the age of their partner - men over 45 take about 5 times longer to get their partners pregnant than men under 25 (also controlling for maternal age)
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
We’re delighted to announce that we have now closed our pre-seed funding round, enabling us to accelerate our growth & continue improving the service for our wonderful members. Here’s to the next chapter! 🐣
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Time for a game: please share the weirdest message you have ever received via a dating app (anonymised ofc)
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
We are delighted to announce that Swan has today appointed its CTO, who’ll be coming aboard as co-founder and overseeing all technical development. Sam is not on Twitter, but do join us in welcoming him to the team 😊
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@swandating
Swan
4 months
girl they did
@coldhealing
cold 🥑
4 months
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
One of the best things about growing is that it lets us build more of our own tools, instead of relying on pre-made software. Here's a preview of our revamped character assessment 🐣
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
@ellegist great tweet queen
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Going back to the OKCupid charts, it’s worth noting that while men are most attracted to very young women, the age gap in actual partner choice is much smaller. This is partly because women have choice. Young women like older men, but "older" by 3 years maximum, not 5 or more!
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
We love this piece from @j0ne_s_ –– why are conspiracy theories so common on dating apps? What is it that people are trying to signal?
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Moving back to biology: it’s also easy to forget that just as women’s fertility decreases after ~35, male sperm quality falls significantly with age. This, too, increases the likelihood of birth defects and chromosomal abnormalities.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
This theory, crudely stated, fits with the evidence we have: women are consistently attracted to older men, and men to younger women. Several huge studies show that, and so do marital records: - -
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Men over 40 are also 3 times as likely to experience severe erectile dysfunction, which doesn't make conception easier.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
the rumours are true. we now have a codebase
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
But there’s something that doesn’t make sense. If this effect were just "nature," just an outgrowth of evolutionary processes, we’d expect to see something similar in other human-like mammals. Yet when we look at chimpanzees, our closest living relatives, we see the opposite!
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@swandating
Swan
6 months
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
We love to hear from our customers! Here's what one had to say about her most recent match ⬇️
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
We're back! New year, new opportunities for romance 👀 and we've already made the first matches of 2023...
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
In developed countries, husbands are typically a couple of years older than wives. We set out to learn why. Take a look at the blog for the full picture, but this 🧵 will contain its main findings – plus some interesting asides we gathered along the way.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Men live less long than women at the best of times, so advanced paternal age signals relatively low suitability as a prospective parent. Basically: it's no good having children with someone who won't be around to help raise them, or even contribute financially to their wellbeing.
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
the obvious option was right there
@jackmalvern
Jack Malvern
1 year
I think it's quite sweet that Harry and Meghan went to a party dressed as penguins because they thought they mate for life. With my party-pooping hat on, I can tell you it's a myth, and that for emperor penguins the break-up rate is about 80-90 per cent every year.
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
It certainly is! There’s been a lot of research about how well ideal partner traits map to actual partner choices, but a lot of it conflicts. Thanks for the tag 😊
@moreisdifferent
Dan Elton
1 year
@DegenRolf this seems like something @swandating may be interested in
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
We've written lots about what makes two people compatible. But once a couple is established, how can we predict whether they're likely to go the distance? Find out:
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
Merry Christmas to all! 🎄🍾
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
"The single most powerful predictor of gender...is whether someone reports that they spend time trying to make other people comfortable." Are women really more altruistic than men? We've blogged: the real gender differences when it comes to romance
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
Let's begin. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, says the idiom. But scientists disagree. Many psychologists have argued that we tend to rate each other's attractiveness quite consistently. They claim that in practice, if someone's hot to you, they're probably hot to others.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
The older a female chimpanzee, the higher-status her partner is likely to be. 🙉 Maybe this is to be expected: young female chimps have no track record of successful childbirth, and indeed first-time chimpanzee mothers do have higher rates of neonatal mortality
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@swandating
Swan
11 months
Occasional reminder that we're always interested in your thoughts, takes, and questions – so if you have something you'd like us to research for a blog, or a question for our team, reply here or email ask @swan .date! ✨
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
But! Something else we know is those who have been in age-gap relationships previously are likely to be more open to them in the future. That's not what we'd expect if age-gap relationships were often a net negative for those involved.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
The female chart, however, shows something the studies neglect: women are primarily interested in older men until the age of about 30 – at which point they prefer their partners to be either the same age or slightly younger than them.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
on tour
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
This might be part of the reason that big age gaps are more common in LGBTQ partnerships, in which biological parenthood involving both parties is less likely! But there's still a lot we don't know here:
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Still, the average age of marriage in the UK/US hovers around 30; an age at which women prefer roughly same-age partners + men prefer younger partners. The compromise is that women marry men who are slightly older than them, and men marry women who are (only) slightly younger.
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@swandating
Swan
8 months
we love to see it
@D_Lukauskis
Dom
8 months
Sigma grindset confirmed @swandating
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Let's see how couples with big age gaps fare in the real world!
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
@j0ne_s_ Our co-founder, @ellegist , points out that when it comes to the apps, both men and women have strong incentives to act unusually:
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@swandating
Swan
7 months
hope this helps
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
@ellegist Or else
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
💌
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@swandating
Swan
3 years
👀
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
First aside: you might expect that the marital age gap is bigger in countries with fewer protections for women, but did you know that it's also closely related to the value of child labour? Marrying younger = more children = more earners = more money.
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@swandating
Swan
6 months
This is what we like to hear! (And yes, they're going on a second date) ☺️
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
With all discussions about this, remember that women's preferences are typically thought to win out when it comes to love, dating, and (historically) mating. This is why 80-year-old men don't often get to marry 20-year-old women. But we'll probably blog on that in the future...
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@swandating
Swan
8 months
@bowtiedjconnor in fact we're looking at moving to this at the moment! 🦾
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
While women seek maximum resources for their children, men – the sex less involved in parenting – are optimising for sheer numbers of children, because the more chance to pass on their genes the better. Younger women can provide more children, so men prefer them.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
And very few of us *can't* point to one or more happy, successful relationships in our friends/family that also have big age gaps. Anecdotes aren't data, but they do indicate that the picture doesn't have to be bleak.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
We've blogged! Everyone knows that loneliness is bad for you, but how severe are the physical effects really? And is love a panacea?
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
So there are *lots* of good reasons to find someone who's your own age, or just a couple of years either side. But since when has love listened to reason?
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
Humans are social animals. When we go without skin contact, we become “touch-starved,” which is closely linked to increases in stress, anxiety, and depression.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
This is sad news on the face of it, and worth unpacking a bit. A quick look at the survey and its findings: 🧵
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
our CTO has been released
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
With chimps just as with humans, increased maternal age is associated with decreased fertility (when fertility is understood as “ability to deliver a surviving infant,” rather than just “ability to conceive a pregnancy”). So why don’t we see similar preferences in human males?
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@swandating
Swan
1 year
59% of American women say that religion is very important in their lives, compared to 47% of American men. Why?
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@swandating
Swan
4 months
Our members are why we do it.
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
The male chart is predictable: no matter how old a man is, he prefers a female partner to be around 21 years old. This is right before the beginning of a woman’s most fertile years, which last roughly from one’s mid-20s to one’s mid-30s (more on this later)
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
Expect some minor downtime today as we move our website over to a different provider –– it's getting a gorgeous new look and we're very excited!
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@swandating
Swan
2 years
There’s also the fact that men seeking much younger partners are generally viewed as predatory: they’re selecting for women with less life experience, and probably the high impulsivity/comparatively poor decision-making skills that we all have before about 25.
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@swandating
Swan
1 month
We had to use a smaller font for this testimonial, but we wanted to fit it all in! Making you happy makes us happy.
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