Simon Blackwell @simonblackwell Twitter profile

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

9 years

Two Emmys. Hugely happy. http://t.co/nVHa6rN4Ja

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Last Seen Profiles

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

BBC just said this was ‘sobering news’. Not if I can help it.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

10pm pub closing not good enough. People will just go on to house parties. Need a mandatory 10:45pm National Crisis Bedtime. Teeth done by 10:40, light off 10:44. No you can't have a glass of water you should have thought of that before.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Matt Hancock announces all stable doors to be closed in 10 days' time.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

State of this. Just look at these idiots.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

Thanks, health boss.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Boris Johnson could say or do anything - literally, genuinely, anything - that would have, in previous years, destroyed a candidate, and he will still be elected PM on December 12th. It's the weirdest thing, I don't understand it at all, but it's seemingly where we are.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

6 years

Why do we need any colour passport? We should just be able to shout, “British! Less of your nonsense!” and stroll straight through.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

"It was lovely being good at it." Not just good, the absolute best.

Sir Billy Connolly says Parkinson's means he won't perform stand-up again

He says he's "finished with stand-up" because Parkinson's has "made my brain work differently".

www.bbc.co.uk

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

A doctor gives you 72 hours to live. After going on Twitter to argue with a stranger about whether hash browns should be part of a full English breakfast, how do you spend your last 90 seconds?

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

When you're letting a trapped bee out the window, everyone talks to the bee right?

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

8 years

Hell of a name for a backing band.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

If we’re not careful we’ll lose Prince Andrew’s contributions to public life, and then where would we be?

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Leaving the Royal Family seems slightly easier than cancelling a BT Sport contract.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

Imagine if we hadn’t taken back control though, we’d be in a right shitstate.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

7 years

All the nuclear warmoaners need to stop whining, get behind it and try to make it a success.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Dr Seuss writing BBC headlines.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

Have been rewatching some Frasier episodes. God it's good. Not an ounce of fat on it. Every line a joke. Pretty much every SETUP line a joke. But there's still a strong emotional reality to it and you absolutely care what happens to everyone. An amazing piece of work.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Our dear old dog, very ill and heading towards the end, finds the summer heat unbearable. But currently, at 1am, she's blissfully cool, sprawled in the garden and I haven't the heart to bring her in. So I'm staying up and tapping into the cheesier elements of my iTunes library.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Today we had to say goodbye to our dear old girl Biddy, a few days shy of her 11th birthday. These things are never easy, and this was difficult, difficult lemon difficult, but that’s the contract you sign. Very glad to have known her.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

How do people have so many opinions? I’m 55 and have about seven opinions, and three of those are probably wrong.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

"Can you remember where were you when you heard the news?" "I was staring obsessively at the news."

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

Imagine if this were a Labour leader, the relentless grief they'd get. But here's the prime minister like a sack of shit tied up in the middle, child's haircut, grimacing, standing like a lemon in front of a memorial honouring our war dead. But we are, as they say, where we are.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

Just get someone to shout "My husband's home!" and he'll instinctively shin down a drainpipe.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

I have been advised by the government that we've reached the stage where this image must be deployed.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Let's hope the trend of successfully toppling hollow bronze racists lasts until November.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

Government MPs visiting and praising foodbanks is a very peculiar thing. Like cigarettes visiting a respiratory unit.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

6 years

In 30 years’ time, historians will look back on this era and think, “Nope, still can’t make any sense out of that. I’m going to do another book on the Tudors.”

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Roses are red, tankards are pewter...

Hannah Jane Parkinson

@ladyhaja

4 years

here’s margaret atwood riding an electric scooter

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

I bet you were all wondering where bread had gone. Remember loaves of bread, from the 90s? Well, bread is making a comeback apparently, so we'll all be eating bread again, like we did before bread disappeared.

The New Yorker

@NewYorker

5 years

Bread is making a comeback, embraced by home bakers, restaurateurs, and science-minded hobbyists entranced by the mesmerizing intricacies of sourdough culture:

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

I often think about the minicab driver who picked us up 25yrs ago at 4am, after Jack decided to arrive 2 weeks early. Took us from Elephant to Kings College hospital smoothly but at the speed of light, then refused to accept a penny for the fare - said it was his gift to the baby

Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

25 years today since the tremendous @JackBlackwell95 was born. Many glorious returns of the day.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

Johnson’s getting married again at 3pm to shift the focus.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

Queen To Call For Everyone To Get A Fucking Grip In Christmas Message

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Expect a big surge on the National Grid now as the nation heads to the kitchen, unplugs the kettle and sticks their fingers in the socket.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

I'd applied for this. It's who you know.

The Courier

@thecourieruk

5 years

Queen grants Prince Edward title of Earl of Forfar to mark his birthday

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

6 years

We've still got Trump on 280 characters to look forward to. Like a chimp juggling four turds instead of two.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

I have posted a number of sarcastic tweets on here re Brexit yet it still seems to be going ahead as if my efforts meant nothing.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

7 years

At the polling station. Bodes well for Labour - loads of young people here. Or I might possibly be at the wrong primary school.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

The good thing about chaotic sedition is that it takes your mind off the uncontrollable plague for a bit.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

Pitching my new topical comedy show to the BBC ‘The Government Is Doing Its Level Best Under Trying Circumstances’. A lighthearted sideways look at the news which pokes gentle fun at everybody while bearing in mind the difficult decisions that need to be taken by those in office.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

Great song, hope they do it justice.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

6 years

*walrus noises*

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

Here you go mate, everything you’ve ever wanted. How’s that feeling?

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

Leadership announcement cancelled. David Attenborough and Michael Palin due to take over. All going to be fine.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

I need to stay in for a parcel.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

*Queen lies on floor with lights off*

Boris Johnson

@BorisJohnson

4 years

On my way to see Her Majesty the Queen

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

Last page of A Christmas Carol - still rings true.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Please, everyone - Dominic Cummings is a human being like the rest of us, not some kind of contemptuous panto villain.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

Supermarket delivery. Bloke says, "I noticed your name, do you mind my asking..." I puff up a bit - clearly a comedy fan. "Are you the Simon Blackwell who runs Birdland nature reserve in Bourton?" "No, sorry." "Right. I bet you get asked that all the time don't you?" And deflate.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

I'm not sure they'll ever get Johnson out of No 10. They might have to send men in with ferrets.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

The good news is that whatever the result tomorrow we'll all accept it and move on.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

It's 15 years ago this month that The Thick Of It first aired. Wouldn't have happened without BBC Four's commitment to new programming. Sad to see that the channel is likely to be either axed or turned into an archive/repeats station.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

Pudding Lane Bakery statement, 2 September 1666: "This is an extremely difficult situation and we're keeping the data under constant review, hour by hour. Arguments either way as to whether there is a massive great fucking fire are very, very finely balanced. Fancy some toast?"

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

8 years

What the fuck has happened to us?

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

"A film exploring the fraught relationship between two town criers who live in a quarry."

Screen International

@Screendaily

4 years

BREAKING: UK government confirms film and TV production can restart within social distancing guidelines

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

Another fine old sky.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

2018 Quiz Of The Year Q1) What the FUCK was all that about?

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Enjoying this Zoom meeting.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

Watching loads of Sean Lock clips. The best comedy opens up a little door in your head that you didn’t know was there, in a slightly magical way, and he did that all the time.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

8 years

I've been to this service station.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Has there ever been a braver generation than ours?

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

My and ⁦ @JennyAnnDee ⁩’s 27th anniversary on 2 April. Wedding cost £250, snaps not photographs, 3-day honeymoon in Norfolk as my boss refused time off. But better than some 20-grand castle or any of that old toot. Very happy still to be married to the best woman in the world

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

This is great. Everyone plays a blinder.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Curating my bookshelves ahead of an interview on the BBC News At One.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

7 years

@jk_rowling Trump tired. Trump sleep now. Goodnight Trump. (Goodnight Trump.)

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

Bloody Matisse signing for our parcels again.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

Pound immediately falls against the doubloon.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

The RSC should do this for all of Shakespeare's history plays too. This nonsense has gone on far too long.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

7 years

My least favourite superhero.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

This bloke is my MP, who I know works tremendously hard in his ill-lit office every hour that God sends.

BBC Politics

@BBCPolitics

4 years

Conservative MP Robert Courts says he thinks Dominic Cummings' actions were reasonable "when I look at the explanation that's been given" "When you look at the regulations as they were, the question you have to decide is whether he had a reasonable excuse"

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

London. Just passed a building that wasn’t a Pret A Manger.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

Can’t see what could possibly go wrong here.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

I don’t know about you but I’ve got a good feeling about these talks.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

You can shove your fucking fireworks up your arse.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

Younger son (care worker) working on Christmas Day so we’re having our family Christmas today. House full of food and booze, fire on, comfort and joy.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

"I'd give it five minutes."

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

6 years

This is the worst government crisis since Friday.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

VLADIMIR: Well? Shall we leave Twitter? ESTRAGON: Yes, it’s become a shit-funnel. Let's leave Twitter. They do not move.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

Have lost 26kg since last February, which is the weight of a labrador. Plan is to try to lose at least a further Norfolk Terrier.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Today I will be relentlessly commenting on the news in real time from a position of ignorance. I hope you will join me.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

A great big shame - no Thick Of It without BBC Four, so no In The Loop or Veep either.

BBC Four to become archive channel as cost-cutting drive continues

Overhaul means channel will no longer commission original content but will broadcast performances

www.theguardian.com

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

See you all in March, I'm getting into a box full of straw in the shed.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

7 years

3pm - Knobbly Knees 4pm - Meat Raffle 5pm - 'Saucy' Tombola (over-18s) 6:30 - The Bootleg Dooleys 9:00 - DJ 10:30 -war with China

Donald J. Trump

@realDonaldTrump

7 years

Inauguration Day is turning out to be even bigger than expected. January 20th, Washington D.C. Have fun!

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

2 years

I'm afraid his voice going very high at 0:34 is making me cry with laughter.

BBC Politics

@BBCPolitics

2 years

“Shut up or get out” Speaker Sir Lindsay Hoyle orders Alba MPs Neale Hanvey and Kenny MacAskill “to leave this chamber” as #PMQs begins

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

“This is a great day for him.” This is the worst thing Trump’s ever said, isn’t it?

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

3 years

Getting 13 million viewers for a scripted narrative is an extraordinary and brilliant thing and boosts the whole industry #LineOfDuty

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Cummings’ amazing skill is that he operates unseen and unnoticed behind the scenes, a cunning shadow, barely anyone recognising him or even knowing his name. Clever, clever guy.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Police might want to move people on from the moral high ground, it's looking pretty packed up there.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Nazi salutes at the Cenotaph. To quote Norm Macdonald: “I don’t know if any of you guys are history buffs or not, but...”

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

7 years

Superb. We did this in Veep.

Noah Garfinkel

@NoahGarfinkel

7 years

Let's see which one of these desperate dickheads can land the final alpha back pat!

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

7 years

The time machine guys are cutting it fine.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Like a laxative advert

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Fucking hell. I really don't want to be that bloke in his 50s railing against sentences, but in this case I absolutely am that bloke in his 50s railing against sentences.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Four months on...

Matt Lucas HQ

@RealMattLucas

4 years

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

Imagine if all this was actually happening.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

4 years

Tonight’s sky.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

8 years

At last, some closure for the family.

Early human ancestor Lucy 'died falling out of a tree'

New evidence suggests that the famous fossilised human ancestor dubbed 'Lucy' by scientists may have died falling from a great height - probably from a tree.

www.bbc.co.uk

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

Government now favouring a meal-deal Brexit, which is the Norway model plus crisps and an Aero.

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

All of The Thick Of It, from soup to nuts, is now on @BBCiPlayer , if that's the sort of thing that might F your B.

The Thick of It

Dark political comedy set in the corridors of British government

www.bbc.co.uk

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Simon Blackwell

@simonblackwell

5 years

You think you've got used to your grown-up kids not living at home any more. Then they come back for a chunk of time at Christmas. Then head off again. And you haven't really.

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