I wonder how much of the “young people ain’t having cookouts” is related to us not having property to hold said cookouts on and not that we don’t know how/don’t want to?
Y’all hate twerking, y’all hate silhouettes, y’all hate air fryers and paying people enough to live. Misery is tired of having so much company. It wants y’all to get out and find some joy so you stop projecting onto strangers.
The pushback on gentle parenting is very….weird. Like, how are you mad that more parents have decided that they way they/we were raised was detrimental to their/our development and have decided to go a different route.
Looking at the responses to the question about why women stay in relationships with inconsiderate men and my “hot take” is that we’ve normalized a lot of emotionally abusive behaviors as that’s just how men are.
How millennials greet each other:
Millennial 1. How have you been?
Millennial 2. Meh. I’m not dead so I guess I’m okay. How about you?
Millennial 1. Same. Same.
Both: *sits in morbid silence for 5 seconds*
Can’t really bust out the grill when your property management will fine/evict you for doing so. Can’t really have block parties when most of the block has been displaced by gentrification and you don’t know your neighbors anymore and they don’t want to know you.
That “a woman who asks for nothing gets everything” line is one of the greatest lies ever told by men who have nothing to offer but gaslighting and hard times. Ask for whatever it is you need and want baby girl.
The way the word “fear” has replaced the word “discomfort” in order to justify murdering people is gross. Y’all don’t “fear” the unhoused, you’re uncomfortable that they take up space in your field of vision bc you would rather not acknowledge they exist.
Mainly that there was never a time that all Black people agreed on everything. Not even our right to freedom. The idea of a completely unified, community (particularly during the civil rights era) is a myth and the division you see today is not new.
The mass gaslighting of people who followed all the advice of doing good in school and getting a degree is infuriating. The idea that after all the work and money spent, if you want a job that pays you enough to live and payback loans then you are “entitled” is sickening.
It’s not like they are encouraging kids run amok. All they are doing is acknowledging that children are people with feelings and allowing them to feel their emotions while teaching them better ways to regulate them that isn’t ignoring them or pushing them down.
And for what about the park people? Let us not forget that Black people are targeted and harassed in parks, many don’t allow grills/grilling, not all people have access to said parks, etc etc
I’m disliking the “Black women are superheroes” trope more and more. It was cute at first, but most people take it as Black women being able to do any and everything without support or backup.
Also, barriers differ by region. Whether it’s distance, zoning issues, housing rules, transportation, food costs (which is everywhere at this point), so forth and so on. It’s not simply “laziness” or “losing recipes” there are very real societal changes that we contend with.
I knew men were truly the weakest links when they started with the “what am I supposed to do if another man is threatening/hurting a woman in the street? He could kill me too”
Meanwhile, women are out here doing bystander intervention tactics for complete strangers.
And when you grow up with those same behaviors displayed and accepted by adults around you it’s hard to understand that you should be making these behaviors deal breakers and boundaries that you won’t tolerate being crossed.
@TheConsciousLee
I had to go see the whole video she stitched and I don’t see where all the anger is coming from. The woman in the original video was saying the same thing she was, just without the passive aggressiveness
Sometimes it’s about wanting to be partnered rather than be alone, but sometimes it’s a lifetime of these behaviors being reinforced as okay and your displeasure with them being marked as “dramatic, unreasonable, etc.”
Men: y’all got daddy issues
Women who had attentive and hard working fathers they admire: I would like my potential mate to have similar character traits as my father bc he was hard working and responsible
Men: y’all expect too much, wanting us to be your fathers
We put a lot of pressure on women to just leave, without factoring in a lot of those behaviors are gaslighting and intentionally used to shake our confidence, just like with any other form of abusive behavior it takes time to fully wrap your head around just how bad it is.
So you don’t even have the space in your own psyche to imagine better bc that’s never been an option you’ve seen. For the straight women who do opt out, it’s like they are light years ahead and have been able to shake off a lifetime of indoctrination.
Since we’re on the topic of qualified hip hop curators. Simone is the hip hop curator of the Kennedy Center. It would be great to see some more support for her exhibits and events.
The same goes for straight men in relationships with women that display abusive behaviors. They’ve been told their whole lives that women are “just crazy” and if they are to call abusive behaviors out for what they are then they aren’t “real men.”
In regards to the question of “why do you care that undesirable men are leaving the US to find mates in other countries?”
I personally feel the no woman, regardless amid age, race, socioeconomic status, metc should be subjected to men who do not see them as full humans beings.
My favorite thing about polyam becoming more “mainstream” is that more people are seeing the reality of it. It’s not those IG memes of fine ass people cooking naked in the kitchen together. It’s usually those men from HS no one liked and women with low standards.
“Nobody told you to..” Yes tf they did. Everyone was told the only way to make it and be successful, if you weren’t a talented athlete or child entertainer, was to go to college. Couldn’t have a class, go to an assembly, turn on the tv, etc without them bringing up college
And I say abusive behaviors instead of abuse bc I think there is a difference, however subtle, and maybe inconsequential. In the ways you can say someone has narcissistic tendencies but they aren’t a narcissist.
Regarding that mechanics post: I’m quite tired of men complaining about how women handle the situations they put us in. Women aren’t just carefree and riding around until their cars catch fire for shits and giggles. But often going to mechanics come with shit and they know it.
They implied that trades were for the “low achievers” and “troubled kids” And even if your creative interests were entertained, they told you that college would help you get where you wanted to be.
It’s also not lost on me that cries of desperation and pain are described as threats and aggression when coming from certain demographics. Expressing that your basic needs and rights aren’t being met in our hellscape of a society is a threat to those who are fine with it.
I didn’t understand why my mom would never sit down or get out without some sort of cry for help. “Oh lawd” “Lawd hammercy” etc until I got into my 30s. The effort it takes to simply not disintegrate into wherever you sit or stand is monumental.
This admission also proves they know just how dangerous other men are, but as soon as women, particularly Black women, say that men are the biggest threat to our safety it’s “not all men”
Trash. The whole lot of you.
If we could go to the mechanic regularly or when something just didn’t feel/sound right without needing a man to accompany us so we aren’t overcharged or told we need repairs we don’t need, we would. If we could go to the mechanic without being sexually harassed, we would.
One of the biggest scams in our lifetimes is that we have to pay to work. Whether it’s commuting costs or energy, phone, and internet costs if you WFH; we are still paying to provide a service for someone else.
I hate how this is so normalized within our community. I think having our hair done was the first instance of being told our pain doesn’t matter and why so many of us have complicated relationships with our hair, our mothers, and reinforcing boundaries.
The solution shouldn’t be to have a man around to do it (bc not every man knows shit about cars), our daddies teaching us, having a man with us as a buffer, etc. You should stop being sexist grifters.
@LSplaneWilburn
You adjusted your parenting style with new information. Which I believe should be the goal. But there is so much accessible information now about the benefits, particularly around longer term outcomes and it just feels like an adult tantrum at this point to just be like
It’s an “act of aggression” to have the failures of a “civilized” be put on full display in front of those that are privileged within it. That’s why there is so much hate for the unhoused and mentally ill. They are the living, breathing proof that we were sold a lie so
If we could go to a mechanic and be spoken to like we are adults with common sense, we would. A lot of us put off this task bc we don’t want to deal with y’all making it as difficult as fucking possible to get car repairs and maintenance.
Regardless the outcome. Kyle Rittenhouse’s life is over. Forever known as a murderer. He will struggle the rest of his life. People will avoid him. Parents will not want him to date their daughters. His fake tears will hound him. His life ended when he squeezed that trigger.
Document everything. Forward emails to your personal accounts. Always have dates and timestamps of when they had you fucked up. Dont be afraid to consult an attorney if shit looks sketch. Dont put your work email on your phone unless they pay that bill.
Please keep that same “promoting an unhealthy lifestyle” energy that y’all are having for Cupcakke and angle it towards the people on here constantly telling fat folks they don’t deserve to live or be loved or have joy. The people who are actually driving people towards ED.
The only thing we really have in common with superheroes is that when we try to “safe people from themselves” they turn on us and we’re the villain. That’s it. Other than we can’t even get the funding you give your comic books faves even though we’re “real superheroes.”
@dopegirlfresh
I’m also not sure of her cultural background, but bathing using buckets/bowls and not standing showers or sitting in tubs is normal for some.
You would honestly see more business if you would stop treating women like reckless dummies. If we know we won’t have to deal with all the bs bc you dumped the misogyny for competent customer service your shops would flourish.
I know I say men are dumb regularly but they aren’t. They are conniving, sinister, and play dumb so that they can continue to be coddled. You don’t ever hear them having these Amelia Bedelia ass moments when it comes to shit they care about or like.
It should go without saying that I’m not arguing with any of you bitchass, low reading comprehension, mad at your mamas for shit your daddy did, still mad at Tanya for laughing at your high waters in the 7th grade, devils advocates in my mentions. You’re just getting blocked.
And at the same time refer to themselves as kings and expect to be regarded as such, but don’t want to act with a lick of honor, be respectful, have any sort of integrity, and only want to wield power over those that are already marginalized.
they must be removed from our sight or from their earthly existence. We hate the people who are the what our society would see if it looked in the mirror.
Any time even a shred of kindness is shown to Black women on here, in fly these ashy niggadactycls to let everyone know they don’t believe Black women deserve anything. Not kindness, not support, not gifts. Your hatred for us is palpable and y’all need help.
I wonder how many people interrogated their "need" to party? Not just be around friends or enjoy others' company, but go to large-scale parties to feel satiated. since the panny began certain groups of folks have acted as if parties are as integral to survival as food & water.
The shit that really grinds my gears with it finally coming out that that landlord was lying the whole time is that he got so many people on his side to begin with bc he used classism to bolster his claim. Connecting poor credit, to drug dealing, to destruction of property.
Some of us have depression and if you can’t be okay with not “fixing it” or can’t understand why your unsolicited “positivity” isn’t helpful then good riddance
People keep saying “I’m done with Covid” like it’s a meal that they are too full to finish. It’s a highly contagious virus that doesn’t gaf if you’re done with it. It’s not done with you or us.
Ladies: For all the time people want you to take to fix a mans plate, you could be working on your next one. Don't let the patriarchy scam you into missing a second helping of the good potato salad.