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Chris Boyd (looking for work!) Profile
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)

@paperghost

12,941
Followers
3,316
Following
13,384
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177,998
Statuses

Award winning Infosec researcher | 7 time Microsoft MVP | Google Hall of Fame | Technical Writer | Composer | Video editor |

California | London | Manila
Joined March 2007
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
6 months
will be slowly dropping all of my music into one thread and pinning it for easy reference as i add some more tracks over the coming weeks / months. apologies if you've heard them before, hope you like them if you haven't. by the ruins:
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
Heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point
@Gizmodo
Gizmodo
5 years
Elon Musk: "I’m a Fucking Idiot"
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
when is ukgov going to do something about the growing number of journalists in the english channel
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
hey i just met you and this is crazy but i'm a man who was once a baby
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 months
rich people: i'm on a list? lawyer: yes rich people: forbes? lawyer: no
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
1950s: I hope we get flying cars 2019: you can fuck a bin
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 months
time travel is real but the first people who tried it didn't account for the fact that our solar system is nowhere where it used to be, so at best they end up warping in under thousands of feet of rock and at worst floating in space a very long way away it's now banned
@opheliamuses
ophelia🪆
1 year
what’s your most woo woo belief?
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 months
eccleston would've killed the goblins with hammers i can tell you that much
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
16 days
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@BBCNews
BBC News (UK)
16 days
Camilla, William and Kate receive top royal honours
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
6 months
department of work and pensions be like
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
when twitter refreshes your feed
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
would love to read about whether or not britain is institutionally racist but i've been too busy asking the home office to let me live with my wife for the last decade
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 months
merry christmas here's one lindor chocolate
@FelicityBuchan
Felicity Buchan MP
5 months
Merry Christmas! Thanks to all working today in our vital public services. Delighted to drop off some chocolates this morning to the many working in Kensington to say thank you.
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
ngl things don't look great for rainy fascist island
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
remember when they pretended to be an independent fact check org during the election
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
i've had tinnitus since 1996. six to eight different noises, all day long, 24/7. i've had checks. tests. brain scans. nothing worked. until just now. holy crap
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
"you! you there!" he shouted to a boy on the street. "what day is this?" *sound of coughing below*
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
dominic goings
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
1 year
saw someone complaining that they applied for twitter verified organisation status ($1,000), were refused, and they just discovered that you should always read the T&Cs
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
that whitty and vallance presser in full:
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
i once steered a pirate ship in assassin's creed for 20 minutes so here is my 87 tweet plan to solve the canal crisis 1/87
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
oh god they're going to rebuild the O2 arena and call it the captain tom memorial dome aren't they
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
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@SkyNews
Sky News
2 years
"No government is going to ruin its own economy." @AlexanderDowner says economically developed nations are "prepared to pay" to address climate change, but will not "put people out of work and destroy the structure of their own society". #TheGreatDebate :
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
a neighbour is claiming the letter from downing street contains RFID chips which tell ukgov if you're outside too long and i love that this only works on the assumption everyone is just keeping the letter down their pants
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
someday you will find them, caught beneath the landslide
@MENnewsdesk
Manchester News MEN
2 years
50 punters - and Oasis tribute band - trapped in pub by huge snow blizzard
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
did a massive pile of bugs type this
@CHERRYH3AVEN
cherry heaven
3 years
Imagine being here with the love of your life
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
just been informed that churchill is in fact dead and doesn't care how hard you try to dryhump his statue
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
an anonymous source
@FromSteveHowell
Steve Howell
3 years
The government wants to ban anonymous social media posts, says a source.
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 months
almost every game i grew up with, from the age of 5 to 18, is rotting forever along with computers & consoles. 87% of video games released before 2010(!) are gone. huge, important titles have had their source code lost. music licenses expire and audio vanishes. emulation is great
@MegumiBandicot
Megumi Bandicoot
4 months
What’s your take on this?
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
@JimMFelton @JohnCleese michael palin hasn't ruined something yet has he do we still have michael
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
pulled a solero from the freezer and jammed it in my mouth then realised it's a battered cod
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
hot on the heels of "COVID-19: Those earning 'above £19.5k' should pay more tax to help fix finances" maybe we should just tax billionaires and corporations appropriately and everyone saying these things can get in a bin and we roll the bin down a hill and then kick the bin
@Independent
The Independent
3 years
Tax people who work from home 5% to support at-risk jobs, says Deutsche Bank
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
doctor who xmas special looks amazing
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
6 years
5 series, billion dollar lord of the rings show where it's just boromir yelling "WHY DON'T THE EAGLES DROP THE RING IN MOUNT DOOM" for 30 hours
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
calling it now: spectral captain tom to smash it in after a beauty of a cross from princess di in the 89th minute
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
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@nickeardleybbc
Nick Eardley
3 years
PM press conference this afternoon
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
logging on
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
9 months
it's kinda funny that the gag here (euro band switching out a singer at the drop of a hat who isn't as good as the original) is flopping because not enough people are aware that this was an actual thing in the first place. sometimes you can be a little too accurate
@kylegordon101
Kyle Gordon
9 months
Filmed in Zagreb, Croatia
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
@johnroderick you could just give her some beans
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
6 years
someone on the radio comparing brexit to the millenium bug, difference being nothing happened in 2000 because of years of precise planning whereas in 2019 i'll be murdering you with a chair for a tin of beans
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
"we've fucked it, lads"
@bbclaurak
Laura Kuenssberg
5 years
Written statement from PM later today
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
popular opinion: universal basic income and 4 day workweek
@ImNotJK
Jordan Kong
3 years
Unpopular opinion: the best thing young people can do early in their careers is to work on the weekends.
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
6 years
naming your kid a bitly link is too much even for me
@GraziaUK
Grazia UK
6 years
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have welcomed their third child
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 months
i don't want pints of wine, i want my energy supplier to stop sending me "GOOD NEWS! your energy bill's going up again" emails
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
very weird spending years watching cops do everything in their power to protect buildings and property at the expense of all else and then today be like lol nah come on in
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
@DineshDSouza @Polymathically hi! my family is both english and indian. you are, in fact, wrong and i have never heard anybody in either nation call it "thighland" please enjoy the rest of your replies from all around the world wondering what you're on about
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
very pleased that the home office are now arguing with an ice-cream company instead of sorting out their coronavirus-laden farce of a visa system
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
@JimMFelton @ppiixx @RishiSunak are we okay to start licking everything again
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
this app is free
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
rocking up to the matrix opening later like
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
absolutely wild that my kid with no pre-existing medical conditions caught regular, non covid-19 coronavirus in may and it was so bad they couldn't breathe unassisted for 3 days and now ukgov is like well i guess they could catch the one that's worse next time, good luck
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
theresa may having to give lessons in compassion is the sound of 2019 hitting peak 2019
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
single massive ferrero rocher
@TheCut
The Cut
4 years
What would you carry in this Gucci bag?
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
1 year
@itvnews the cool part is that nobody needs to listen to anything she says ever again
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
my new coronavirus plan
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 months
"The Home Office has said the higher salary threshold is needed so that family members from abroad joining British citizens are not burdening the state" you can't burden the state, people can't access public funds on a spouse visa. i feel like this crucial detail always goes awol
@guardiannews
Guardian news
5 months
Legal action planned over UK’s ‘cruel’ income threshold visa rules
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
dating a woman with 100 toes
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
when it's bins day and they don't empty your bin
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
i have a joke about home office compensation schemes but you won't get it
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
1 year
tom, did this age well or
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@tomhfh
Tom Harwood
1 year
@paperghost You’re talking about comments made at a conference fringe event not actual government policy.
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
the uk used to remove the citizenship of any british woman marrying a non british man from 1870 to 1933, essentially leaving them stateless so this is all very much on brand for normal island
@IRR_News
Institute of Race Relations
2 years
🚨 NEW Ministers will be able to strip British citizens of their citizenship without telling them, under the Nationality and Borders Bill.
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
7 years
@courierjournal breaking: i don't care if he pissed in a jar and rolled it down a hill, you don't get dragged off a plane like that.
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
this episode of peppa pig has kids dressed as countries in the school playground and the narrator just said "united kingdom is on the slide"
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
you have your mum, steve, and uncle jim in a boat less than 2m wide. you must cross the river to work with only one of them at a time. if you leave steve with uncle jim he will eat him 1/2,485
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
@JessicaRizzo19
Jessica Rizzo
2 years
All his rights is gone. My latest: via @wired
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
turning narwahl tusk brandishers into typical examples of yer everyday immigrant makes me nervous, because that absolutely shouldn't have to be the benchmark for what people are expected to do to live here as one of the good ones™
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
apparently boris johnson's being destroyed in the leader's debate, can't wait to see his lead in the polls extend by six thousand percent tomorrow somehow
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
i have decided to walk into the sea and sever all internet cables with my bare hands
@realDailyWire
Daily Wire
4 years
Gywneth Paltrow Is Selling A Candle That Smells Like Her Vagina
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
cheering on 100 year old people walking themselves to their graves to fix broken societies is one of the weirder quirks of 2020
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
well if it isn't my old friend mr mctrump, with a zip on a butt and his groin on the rump
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
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@lizziedearden
Lizzie Dearden
4 years
The British government is to launch a “strategic communications” campaign to deter asylum seekers from crossing the English Channel Officials are hoping to “dissuade” migrants amid record arrivals in small boats
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
6 years
yeah this 79 page spouse visa renewal form costing us 2 grand so you don't kick my wife, who's one of the top in her field, out of the country is definitely welcoming get in the bin, #GlobalBritain
@BorisJohnson
Boris Johnson
6 years
Welcoming high skilled immigration is key to the success of #GlobalBritain . We must do more to attract the best and brightest overseas students
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
6 months
@RishiSunak
Rishi Sunak
6 months
In January I made halving inflation this year my top priority. I did that because it is, without a doubt, the best way to ease the cost of living and give families financial security. Today, we have delivered on that pledge.
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Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
@sajidjavid my kid is susceptible to respiratory issues and you're throwing them all back into school with no plan whatsoever in september, but yeah, "cowering" you're giving your time as a terrible home secretary a run for its money as a terrible health secretary, congrats
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
I feel like it's better to stop normalizing that it's fine to deport people we don't like tbh
@mrjohnofarrell
John O'Farrell
2 years
Boris Johnson was not born in the UK. If he's proven to have broken the law, then by his own standards he should strip himself of his British citizenship and have himself deported.
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
go on carrie get that divorce in and finish him off
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
you've literally been told someone's spouse will be deported because you won't give them a piece of paper. in what version of reality is this anything but astoundingly embarrassing for your entire organisation?
@RevolutApp
Revolut
3 years
@onlyjefff Hi!👋Sorry for the trouble but as the social media team we are unable to provide an alternative solution. Please be assured that our support team is always aiming to solve each case the best possible way according to the right and regulated internal procedures and possibilities.
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
6 years
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
3 years
after 3 prime ministers, 4 home secretaries, brexit, fee hikes, multiple rule changes, and zero help during the pandemic our indefinite leave to remain decision has come through and
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
[french mayor next week]: oh no my smurfs
@CBSNews
CBS News
4 years
French mayor defends holding massive Smurf rally despite coronavirus spread: "We must not stop living"
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
7 years
@rmlee7789 @courierjournal you're saying that to someone with bananas strapped to a colander for a hat so yeah probably
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
@JimMFelton @Nigel_Farage nige hanging round on beaches again is this all he does now
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
@spectator we're just normal men. we're just innocent men
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
twitter to galloway
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
like a surgeon
@SkyNews
Sky News
4 years
Coronavirus: Madonna claims she has antibodies and is going to 'breathe in the COVID-19 air'
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
1 year
this is home office levels of hilarious grift
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
2 years
my favourite skyrim anniversary edition bug so far: one of the new additions is a farm you can use as a home but if you go inside with lydia, the sound from the fireplace transfers to her and then she's doomed to spend the rest of the game sounding like a fireplace
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
10 months
i had to fly back to the uk 2 days after our wedding so my wife could apply for her visa and we still haven't had our honeymoon 6+ years later thanks to people like george. what do i get for him doing that to our wedding ian
@IanDunt
Ian Dunt
10 months
Oh no. I'm going to go all whiny centrist dad. But I can't help it. This is just a horrible thing to do on someone's wedding. Just maybe leave them the fuck alone.
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
we now go live to downing street
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
I mean that's very generous of them
@MichaelPDeacon
Michael Deacon
5 years
One of the nude men has climbed on to on a gallery ledge. Two policemen are attempting to pull him off
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Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 months
@punk9059
NFTstats.eth
5 months
A massive theft appears to be happening right now --- all these NFTs have been stolen from wallets... some of the absolute top tier apes.
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
my timeline's having a vardy gras
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
feel sorry for theresa may? one of the finest things in life is sitting around wondering just how miserable she is. i love it. every second she's sad adds 10 years to my life, i'm functionally immortal at this point
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
5 years
somewhere in the coca-cola office an analytics person is desperately trying to figure out what could have caused six hundred thousand references overnight to milk coke
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
@NoMansSky 4 years of additional content and not a single penny paid beyond purchase price. pretty amazing tbh, congrats
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Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
6 months
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@BBCNews
BBC News (UK)
6 months
Boris Johnson suggested injecting himself with Covid on TV - ex-adviser
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@paperghost
Chris Boyd (looking for work!)
4 years
is the answer space
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