My boss: “Look, the Simpsons GIFs need to stop. You’ve had your fun, but it’s not going viral or selling Oats Overnight. We need to re-evaluate our strategy there, and it’s going to require a lot of high-level thought and execution. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
Me:
Hey everyone. Yesterday’s tweet did not do so well, and my boss who never even looks at Twitter is considering letting me go. I need a big performance from you today.
#please
I’m sick of my Simpsons tweets that are only loosely related to oatmeal getting so few likes, and I’m even more sick of hearing about it from my boss. If more people don’t start liking them, I’m going to change absolutely nothing.
Actual footage of my quarterly performance review when my boss asks (again): “Wait are you actually still posting Simpsons GIFs on our Twitter?”
#marketing
Me, at this morning’s marketing meeting when my boss said “we are going to investigate if Simpsons references are an effective strategy for growing the company.” Like this tweet if you think they are!
#help
Coworker: “I mean, come on, why do you keep posting Simpsons GIFs on the official Twitter account? It makes no sense. Do you think it’s funny, or are you just trying to get fired?”
Me:
What does The Simpsons have to do with selling oatmeal?
What does The Simpsons have to do with selling oatmeal?
What does The Simpsons have to do with selling oatmeal?
What does The Simpsons have to do with selling oatmeal?
We’re losing about 1 follower per day. At this rate, Thanksgiving next year is going to be super awkward when grandma asks me (again) what I dropped out of medical school for.
#letmelive
Co-worker: “You have to let go of the Twitter account. The Simpsons don’t have anything to do with Oats Overnight, and I don’t think it makes sense to keep posting like this. Please, just hand over the login credentials to someone else.”
Me, to our login info:
Coworker: “Honestly, it feels like a slap in the face that we’re all working so hard trying to grow this company while you just sit there and tweet Simpsons GIFs. We really need you to step up and contribute more. Now come on, what’s your plan for next week?”
Me: