Mister @muchirrii Twitter profile

Pinned Tweet

Mister

10 months

Morning fam👋🏾 I'm selling beef tallow, healthy cooking fat 1KG is 650 KES 2KG is 1250 KES To order,DM/,Call /Text 0783980168 RT my next client is on your TL 🙏🏾

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Last Seen Profiles

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Mister

@muchirrii

9 months

My Gikuyu mum calling her friend;

Real Madrid C.F.

@realmadrid

9 months

WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH JUUUUUUUUUDEEEEEEE

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Being a Kenyan is priceless 😍😍

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Kuna time manzi neighbour yangu alitaka tucost share my WiFi nikamshow nalipia 3k p/m instead of 1600,akituma dooh endmonth nilikuwa nampeleka nayo pizza inn ju alikuwa ananichezesha mechi

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Mister

@muchirrii

26 days

Usiwai kuwa under the illusion you are missing out on anything kwa anything in life, pressure isiwai kuingia

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Mister

@muchirrii

5 months

'Kuja utupikie nyama na ile style yako'

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Kenyans will let Tanasha Donna get away with this because she a celebrity 😭

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Mister

@muchirrii

4 months

Kuna wazimu hapa Nyayo ameniekelea kiboko ya mgongo naskia hadi kulia nimeketi hapa chini ya flyover nijiskizie kwanza

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

I used to take this babe out for pizza and stuff hapo Muindi Mbingu nikihope she'll let me hit,but everytime tukitoka she had an uber on standby kwa exit,ananishow 'aki my parents want me home by 7.30',fast forward ndio nilijua nilikuwa nalisha gaidi alafu inaenda kubingirishwa

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Mister

@muchirrii

6 months

WiFi mwitu jameni

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Mister

@muchirrii

6 months

😂😂😂

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Mister

@muchirrii

1 year

Illiteracy poses a big challenge to unity and development during colonial times,if general Mwariama was able to understand Jomo's translation he would have killed him there and then.

H i s t o r yKE

@HistoryKE

7 years

1963: Acting as Kimeru interpreter, Prime Minister Jomo Kenyatta addresses media flanked by #MauMau Gen. Mwariama in 1963.

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Mister

@muchirrii

3 months

Nilikuwa na baddie alikuwa ananitesa sana,mwanamke anakuamsha saa nane usiku muende rooftop kuona stars akiwasha mafegi sahio baridi imekutandika you just want to go back to bed ndio anakuambia babe it's Cancer season stay with me wtf

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Mister

@muchirrii

4 months

Aluta huwa na wasiwasi ingine noma ajab😂😂

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Mister

@muchirrii

1 year

Crazy Kennar hakuna pahali aliinua manilla paper kusema anataka kuona Khaby Lame,his work made people notice him.Arap Uria lip synching merchant is going too low for this

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Mister

@muchirrii

1 year

Underrated advantage ya kuwa home ni unaeza kuwa broke lakini umeshiba

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Mister

@muchirrii

5 months

Na diameter?

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Mister

@muchirrii

11 months

During my intern days at Kbc nilikuwa naingia kazi 9 nafanya job moja ya kitu 15minutes alafu nachill hadi 5,I wonder how the employed put up with that kinda life hadi retirement

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Mister

@muchirrii

10 months

Unaenda kwa mtu na the whole time uko kwake yeye ana scroll simu ata hakuongeleshi

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Hizo viatu huwa epitome of Kienyeji 😂

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Mister

@muchirrii

11 months

Huwa mnarudishia mwili shukrani aje?

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Mister

@muchirrii

3 years

If you knew how many girls have used that pillow in his house you would understand why your skin care routine isn't working.

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

She had a tattoo, tattoos can cause skin cancer,mnaambiangwa msichore tattoo hamskiangi

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Mister

@muchirrii

8 months

James Bong

@JamieButon

8 months

Wah nimebakisha 10 bob bana

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Bringing this back💉💉

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Dj Bash akiwa live sessions alafu msee atume comment ya ufala anapausingi mixtape anaanza kukupea lecture

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Mister

@muchirrii

1 year

Imagine Kimuzi's persistence and resilience only to be rewarded with a vagina?men deserve better 😔

ˢᵉⁿᵉˡʷᵃ

@amanda_cherrie

1 year

we need to give Kimuzi a whole year's worth of twitter vagina

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Mister

@muchirrii

7 months

Niliwashow ciry girls hawapikiangwi,utaachanishwa hapo na machakula zako,ukidhani kupika ni being a gentleman 💔😂

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Mister

@muchirrii

5 months

Mad hater nishai kuwa kwa mat ya Ronga tukalipishwa 150 na neighbour somehow hakuitishwa na ikaniuma,nilitext donda na number nilimtumia pesa akakuja kumdai

Matoh

@tingbaldiematoh

5 months

Nakuanga hater lol

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Lakini sijawahi skia driver akiwa under the influence of bhang amecause road accident, it's always ALCOHOL

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 months

Kudrool over SM women wenye chances za ever meeting them is zero hunikalia low testosterone behaviour imo

Milfhunter

@Ranallly

2 months

She's pretty too, omds

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Mister

@muchirrii

1 year

Huwa naisha mbaya😂😂

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Mister

@muchirrii

5 months

Muulize kama anajua mtu anaitwa Brian Muchiri alimtumia 1500/= December 2021 ya sneaker na hakudeliver mbwa yeye

𝙒𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙧

@Reggaewailer

5 months

Wizoooo nane😂😂

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Mister

@muchirrii

7 months

Wamama walikuwa wanakukanyanga shingo bana😂😂

Pipita

@mcpipita

7 months

Bro, I opened up here 5 years ago that I would sleep hungry that day. Blaze saw my post and asked to support. Watu wakacome through. Bahati mbaya I bought meat nikapost that at least I rejuvenated myself wasiseme nimewacon. I get reminded of that meat hadi wa leo. Once tweeps…

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Manchester City fans don't know where their teams crest is at the jersey 😂😂😂

Eric Njiru

@EricNjiiru

2 years

The big one this Sunday: Liverpool 🔴 vs Man City 🔵 at Anfield. #ShowmaxPro @LotanSalapei

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Mister

@muchirrii

11 months

Morning fam 👋🏾 I'm selling beef tallow,healthy cooking fat 1 KG 550KES ½ KG 320KES Country Wide delivery 🚚 DM/Call/Text 0783980168 RT my next customer is on your TL 🙏🏾

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Mister

@muchirrii

1 year

Promotion and widespread acceptance of obesity is what she is about,I know she stinks in the morning,fat women really suck

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Mister

@muchirrii

1 year

Kama uko around Rongai Tumaini jinunulie mayai tray moja at 400kes. RT my next customer is on your TL 🙏🏾 Text/Call 0783980168

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

@SamsonWash Blud thought she's Thee Stallion kumbe ni punda

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Kuna time inafika hutaki stori na watu,unakuwa withdrawn hadi hutoki kwa nyumba for weeks,ukipigiwa simu unakasirika,huna appetite ya chakula,wtf is this bana

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Mister

@muchirrii

9 months

Elon Musk to the blue badge fellas

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Mister

@muchirrii

11 months

Mnatumia healthy cooking fats and oils kupikia or engine seedoils? Tallow ni 600bob per kG ½ 350bob Delivery Free within Rongai and Nairobi CBD RT my next customer is on your TL 🙏🏾

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Mister

@muchirrii

5 months

Majamaa mi nimeibiwa,thieves have just broke into my bedsitter stole my laptop and 2k shillings,walahii I'm finished hii Nairobi

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Mister

@muchirrii

11 months

Msee tumekaanisha nayeye kwa mat alikula cakes na yoghurt bila sharing akalala, alikuwa ashukie Masai Lodge sahii tuko Tuskys,a win is a win

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Mister

@muchirrii

10 months

Oya @ombachi13 hii 2kg of beef tallow inaeza kusort vizuri sana for all your family cooking needs It's a healthy cooking fat compared to vegetable and seed oils It goes for 1250KES only and I'ld be elated if you bought from me🙏🏾

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Mister

@muchirrii

3 years

Last time I laid on a nigga's chest i heard hoes in there laughing at me 😩🤦‍♀️

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Nimeboeka nikatafuta hii😂😭

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Female graduands were Cooperative University after kupanda mlima ya gataka for 4 years

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Unaeza teseka maisha yako yote alafu mwaka yenye unaomoka ndio unakufa

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Ulicome into into terms na nini kwa hii life?

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Na ndume huko Kilimani bana😭

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Mister

@muchirrii

6 months

Mzazi anaeza amka siku moja aamue kua toxic to a point inabidi ujitoe home?lazima kuna indifferences hamjasettle ama uko na kiburi hutaki kumskiza,mzazi huwa anapea mtu chances mob za kujiredeem

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Mister

@muchirrii

5 months

Aliambiwa he cannot be the face of westmall they don't move like that 😂😂

Cyrus

@Ngacheznaa

5 months

Kuwams pia hukuwa Westmall 😂😂😂😂

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Mister

@muchirrii

11 months

𝙰𝚜𝚊𝚊𝚍🏴‍☠️

@_skilli

11 months

If she has a nose piercing, RUN!

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Mister

@muchirrii

10 months

Wadau huwa mnaamini kuna kitu kama luck,ati uamke siku moja suddenly a life changing deal or experience that changes your life for the better without necessarily putting effort?

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Mister

@muchirrii

3 years

Wanaume wako na piercings ukitembea nao watu hudhani mnakulana

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Haha kumbee

MetroBoomin

@polo_kimani

2 years

Mimi sijsi feel this disrespected na dem buana,jana i went hadi kileleshwa to meet this babe who we've talking for sometime sasa nikaamua jana lazima ningetumbukiza mdimbwi (of which i did) ,sasa leo kitu 5:30Am i hear her phone ring alafu akachukua they talk for like 30secs

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Mister

@muchirrii

3 years

Dream ya kutoka kwa block ndio gospel song ya maboyz

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Mister

@muchirrii

6 months

Honestly speaking kuna place hufika kujituma huwa haiwork,unahitaji connections or mentors wakushow how things are done otherwise unabaki kuwa frustrated na your efforts

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Mister

@muchirrii

3 years

Ata maisha ikutwange aje usiwai open up kwa mdem Talk to a fellow man

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Dem anajitolea kukam kejani mspend quality time pamoja alafu we unaenda fifa na kukunywa keg unamuacha kejani Mea bana

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Kuwa classrep lazima uwe na loafers na trouser ya tetema Its law

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Mister

@muchirrii

5 months

Kupigania mwanamke is the last stage of losing your sh1t because as a man mbona huna options?

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Mister

@muchirrii

3 years

I just congratulated this guy on his new baby and he replied 'it should been ours'...men are mad😏😏

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Hapa chuom ni greatness tupu bana siet,

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Mister

@muchirrii

4 months

Shida ata si kiboko ni hao watu wote walikuwa hapo wamewitness hio scene,aibu tupu

Mister

@muchirrii

4 months

Kuna wazimu hapa Nyayo ameniekelea kiboko ya mgongo naskia hadi kulia nimeketi hapa chini ya flyover nijiskizie kwanza

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Acha tuingie jikoni

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 months

Hii kitu hunichekesha sana😂😂😂😂

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@muchirrii

2 years

Unapea dem ako na asthma fire strokes udhani anamoan kumbe gaidi ni kusafiri inasafiri

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Unaeza kuwa unateseka na dem yako hapo bedsitter na ako na dooh kwa mpesa lakini ye ako zile za "aki babe tutadu?"

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Mister

@muchirrii

3 years

Always remember life will rise for what you settle for It doesn't care what you think you deserve.

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Mister

@muchirrii

3 years

Ukaeza jaribu kuambia your crush you no longer feel her anapigwa na shock ingine hatari because she has lost a puppet to play around with.

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Mister

@muchirrii

3 years

Aki sikuwa nadhani ulikuwa na intentions zingine Si we are just friends ama?

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Mister

@muchirrii

1 year

Wailer behind the scenes;

𝙒𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙧

@Reggaewailer

1 year

Wadau leteni 35k nwapee ii fridge bei ya jioni

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Ukishajua kumanipulate your way into people's hearts unakuwa unstoppable

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

@earlygetter_ Whack verses

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Mister

@muchirrii

6 months

@Maua_scents Only way out

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Haha fvck,kuna time nishai hit on a shawrry hadi nikamuonyesha my top tweets to get laid

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Mister

@muchirrii

1 year

😂😭😭

iamjinx

@jamrick_

1 year

Today being SaferInternetDayKE. Wadau nlkuwa nataka tuongelee about cyber bullying or any other fom of bullying. Like, what's that one experience or any kind of bulling ushaipitia hii app or any other social media platform. Nataka, we just share your story it's a safe space

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Mister

@muchirrii

1 month

So far hii kanairo nimelearn kama huna constant streams of income heri kuhamia place nyumba haiko managed na agents,landlords huwa understanding at times

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Niko on track kuacha bangi, the last 3 days I haven't smoked and am happy with the progress

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Mister

@muchirrii

1 year

Ukidate 29-33yr old babes alafu you call it quits ata anaeza jinyonga,huwa wanadhani ju mko in a relationship italead to an automatic marriage

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

@GeorgetheDon6 Black tax itahinder our development bana

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 months

Wailer alikuwa ameshika nare mbayaaa😂😂

Mister

@muchirrii

2 months

Huyo Ranally ndio alikuwa anakatia dem ya wailer akimbaia pombe akijua wako in a relationship in hope to get laid

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Maskini ndio huangalia mpesa balance after transaction

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Hukutumia manzi yako pesa but guess who was at high end hotels🥲

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Tunawaona mkikunywa vile mnataka hii December tunangoja January ifike mtukope pesa tukatae mtuite fake friends

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

My account is back mazee 😭😭

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Mister

@muchirrii

3 years

Unazoea amezoea munching fat women hadi anapata taste ya pork

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

@_jimkinyua There's always a matatu at stage that suits your tastes and preferences,why would you be obliged to board this one?

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

@ndiritu_naf Alihama after six months, nilikuwa naishi maisha fiti sana hio time

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Mister

@muchirrii

8 months

Sometimes tukuange realistic,wazazi wake wangetoa 700k ju ni mtoto wao 100k amepewa na shule,alafu achangishie 200k ingemake sense Alafu kwani ni emergency,kijana aingie kazi ata yeye ajitafutie angalau ata zake buana,

SHANKI👑

@ShankiAustine

8 months

Hii app inakuaga imejaa haters, mna dim hopes za Gesonso za kujoin Boma International School. I honestly believe Boma will give him value for his 1 million bob. Let's stop being negative

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@muchirrii

4 months

I'm sorry lakini na baddies wa siku hizi lazima uperfom on the first link up ju hio ndio inadetermine kama atakupea another chance

Shosho Light

@carolinespencer

4 months

Yes especially first time with a new person because you both want to impress each other. Before mzoeane you'll have to do it atleast three times 😆😆😫

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@muchirrii

10 months

2019 was a good year for everyone

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Mister

@muchirrii

2 years

Incase nimpost afanane na wako,jua they are twins

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@muchirrii

1 year

Weeping

Serial Hater

@Bhonke11

1 year

Heri unipige za kahasho mimi than kusub Nicole, utakula heady ukohoe meno

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Mister

@muchirrii

7 months

Very terrible disaster

Belladonnarthy

@belladonnarthy

7 months

Shule ni solidarity ruai...bill ni 65k...I literally can't find the paybill but majina ya watoto ni Victoria blessing Gichanga na Natalie Hope Gichanga...yote ni hio 65k..Vicki should be sitting for her grade six exams.....bash me because I deserve it but

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