monk @mechanical_monk Twitter profile

Last Seen Profiles

@nmploltwo

@FaithGrahamTV

@Ceb

@MosesUgochukw15

@JeffMorrisLab

@Fraz_S2

@OleMissBSB

@MissHeekapussy

@intoxicaoo

@s1lvey_

@pikopiko85

@darwinlenis

@Maroc_Telecom

@PSeM67EYAdBPUnq

@MprUpdates

@KimberlyPitzen

@ntanakimwe

@WhatMeghanWore

@yoavartzi

@stw_pdg

@NikilisRBX

@warickaart

@InsideJobsNY

@LateNightSorbet

@pavankalyan_69

@GruenMeyer

@SeanCreechMS

@BetwaySupport

@GirlArtificial

@CombatStress

@HiiDeMaRuu

@GradickSports

@sf_safetynews

@KarlitoP

@kryptixxx

@saudi_biddor

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

the year is 2038. lk-99 has revolutionized computing, energy production, and battery manufacturing. the average website takes 10 seconds to load 500MB of javascript and a typical laptop draws a kilowatt of energy for a battery life of about 6 hours. there is still no new housing

165

3K

29K

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

btw has anyone investigated the phenomenon where you lie down in bed with a woman and as you're looking into each other's eyes, about to kiss, she says "hi :-)" this has happened multiple times

254

1K

28K

monk

@mechanical_monk

1 month

POV you live in Lisbon. you've had 8 or 10 drinks. it's 3 am. you're trying to go home

193

1K

28K

monk

@mechanical_monk

16 days

wait a minute ppl were breeding animals and plants for specific features hundreds (thousands?) of years before Darwin or Mendel so… they had a theory of evolution? what was the pre-Darwinian understanding of heritable mutation and selection that enabled this?

597

565

22K

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

when you lie down to cuddle with a woman, she will either turn facing you, lie on her back, or turn away from you (to spoon) these constitute the 3 basic types of women

95

296

12K

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

one thing i find fascinating is the psychology of the en passant rule in chess chess has like 10 rules, and there are many people who (casually) play chess who not only somehow manage to learn 9 of those rules and skip exactly one, they also all manage to not learn the same one

169

349

12K

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 years

@themeredith

5

120

7K

monk

@mechanical_monk

1 month

@Duderichy i know my little sister (16 now) started skipping school a LOT after the pandemic

17

8

6K

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 years

studying conversation the way you study chess openings "if they go 'how are you', you play 'good, how are you'. now in this position the opponent has a few possible moves. for example after 'so how do you know [party organizer]', you can…"

88

554

6K

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

she's autistic

banana

@AjuWabadus

5 months

@mechanical_monk what if she turns to lay on her stomach

1

0

110

18

125

5K

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

we just talked to each other 15 seconds ago, what do you mean "hi :-)" what do i do with this (i am extremely normal and neurotypical btw)

23

27

4K

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

protip: cuddling face-to-face is relatively uncomfortable. if she does this on purpose, she wants you to kiss her

9

47

4K

monk

@mechanical_monk

4 months

time estimates from software devs actually make sense if you think of them as "this is how long it would take me the second time if i did this twice in a row"

34

334

4K

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 years

TIL that the predecessor to today's Lake Chad was a much larger ancient lake called Lake Megachad (this is not a joke)

Nemets

@Peter_Nimitz

3 years

So many lost nations, cultures, & civilizations died off in the Desertification of the Sahara.

57

210

2K

10

295

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

why are rock and metal the only materials that have music genres named after them i want progressive glass. psychedelic wood. nu-paper. deep plastic

117

321

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

is there an app where i can broadcast what i'm up to (going to concerts, meetups, having a dinner party) to (a subset of) my friends who might be interested in joining me without having to message each one every time?

169

83

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

guys tbh i'm just relatablepoasting to farm likes, i'm not looking for advice but ty

8

15

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

16 days

@keysmashbandit maybe theory is the wrong word i don't mean that they'd have an explanation of what the mechanism is, but at least in order to deliberately breed they'd have to notice that (1) there is variation, (2) it's heritable, (3) thus selection on the variation leads to population change

90

18

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 years

women will literally go to therapy instead of actually fixing their problems

24

157

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

is en passant antimemetic somehow? for ppl who don't play chess and who somehow through cultural osmosis absorbed like half the rules of the game, it makes sense that en passant wouldn't be among them, it doesn't come up that often but ppl who play? what's going on

17

14

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

i'm also playing with the idea that this is just anxious, secure, and avoidant attachment style respectively

8

19

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

@hyperdiscogirl hot

2

3

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

8 months

unironically tho [norman_rockwell_painting.jpg] i think governments should take care of national monuments

206

92

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

8 months

forget planes fellas, what is your favorite futuristic megastructure? mine is the tethered ring

185

79

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 years

women love being laid on top of

37

137

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

imagine if a sizable minority of amateur soccer players didn't know that eg. the offside rule doesn't apply to a sideline throw, and this was the one rule that they didn't know

32

8

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 years

the slav defense is when after "how are you" you take the question at face value and start talking about your problems

22

81

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

8 months

it is utter madness that governments and city councils let beautiful buildings like the parthenon or the roman colosseum just wither and fall apart despicable

144

70

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

14 days

one thing about The Expanse that i thought was unrealistic was how fast the travel is but i did some calculations and if you're fuel efficient enough to burn at 1G both halves of the journey (acc at 1G, then dec at 1G) it takes 6 DAYS to get to Jupiter when it's at its nearest!!

44

26

2K

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

"pronouns: he/him" why do ppl specify the accusative anyway? "his nominative pronoun is 'he', geez louise i wonder what the accusative should be. i have no idea"

104

37

1K

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

i quit smoking twice so far the first time, i counted my daily cigs, slowly reduced until 0, then tried to maintain 0 terrible cravings. gave up after 5 months the 2nd time was when one day out of the blue i went "huh. hm" and then didn't smoke another cig for the next 5 years

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

@VectorOfBasis @hyperdiscogirl fwiw i reject personal change gradualism i'm a big proponent of sudden bouts of enlightenment

11

17

336

70

40

1K

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

ok the replies reframed this experience for me. i'll enjoy it from now on. thanks

0

5

1K

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

then again, i'm the type of person who reads through the entire documentation of a sw library before using it in my code, and even most programmers are not that autistic most ppl who play chess casually probably also just absorbed some subset of the rules by cultural osmosis

3

6

1K

monk

@mechanical_monk

7 months

i came to a hostel, went to the hostel bar, and within half an hour i'd started a conversation with 3 ppl i'm now having a dinner with a cute girl as a result who is this person who took over my socially anxious ass????? i'm loving it

38

17

1K

monk

@mechanical_monk

4 years

@LolOverruled @SparklyCornHair

7

61

1K

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 years

americans throw the word "friend" around like a bean bag they'll spend one evening at some meetup and be like "i made 3 new friends"

75

44

1K

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 years

@JeremyRubin @Aella_Girl using this to find out my political beliefs

5

13

1K

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

@profeshkitten have not yet encountered in the wild

2

982

monk

@mechanical_monk

10 months

you know how you look at the clock in the middle of a chess game and you're like "what? i'm two minutes down on my opponent? how?? when did that happen???" that can happen irl too. you stop paying attention for a moment and suddenly you're in your mid-30s

28

58

969

monk

@mechanical_monk

7 months

the "can cook" / "can't cook" binary is not expressive enough we need to start thinking about things in terms of elo rating i'm like 700 elo at cooking

34

78

976

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 years

"here you can play the aggresive move 'so what have you been up to lately', or continue solid development with 'what are you drinking' and enter a more positional middle game"

6

20

937

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

@ellegist i met my lovely wife while taking a stroll in the park in october 2023

4

10

944

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

@MattPHausmann the 50 move rule or threefold repetition

15

1

955

monk

@mechanical_monk

22 days

i organized a picnic today. invited the maybe 30 ppl i met in the past 6 weeks most ppl didn't show up but other ppl brought friends and in the end in the end it was lovely and everyone had a great time project make friends is a resounding success ✅

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

ok i've been in this city a few months now, time to stop mucking around and make friends starting from literal 0 encouragement welcome (as well as—i know i'll regret this—advice)

65

6

425

16

46

936

monk

@mechanical_monk

4 months

imagining a twitter-like social medium, but local-first the algo feed heavily prioritizes proximity, to the point you basically can't see tweets beyond ~100 mi away first class support for events, like facebook i could think of some other irl-friendship-encouraging features

129

36

914

monk

@mechanical_monk

1 month

@stache_talk bro really said

2

5

891

monk

@mechanical_monk

1 year

a masterpiece what kind of a demented mind would even come up with this

17

51

838

monk

@mechanical_monk

10 months

i compare specs and prices, i pick a phone, it happens to be android i don't understand the sociosexual meaning of phone picks is this an american thing? what's happening

inkbrisk

@inkbrisk

10 months

i think men with androids are more geeky, disagreeable, or poor which is why normie girls redflag it

90

20

584

118

23

849

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

sometimes i'm struck by the beauty of ordinary things but when i take a photo they're just kinda... ordinary i guess you had to be there

43

33

811

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 months

a semi-good thing abt lacking rizz is that it helps you develop agency u don't get invited to gcs, so you start ur own. u don't get invited to vacations w friends, so u organize them urself. ppl don't go out of their way to be ur friend so u learn how to actively make friends

42

44

810

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 years

is there some sort of a programming tutorial that isn't about writing code but about the concepts? like db normalization, "mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive" interfaces, encapsulation, abstraction, DRY, etc how to THINK like a programmer. how to model problem domains

81

55

784

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

this is why usually when i teach someone chess i first teach a simplified ruleset where the first to capture the opponent's king wins (this is how chess should work btw)

Anti-eval bar activist

@Timothy77236895

2 months

@mechanical_monk Another weird one that isn't really a rule but is an edge case is not everyone knows that pieces pinned to a king can still give check to the other king

8

1

117

9

6

794

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

the first question when you invite someone to an event is "who else is going", every time meditate on this

26

13

734

monk

@mechanical_monk

20 days

@d_feldman raw materials only have the value they have bc we have the amount of labor and capital to match them and use them productively if we have million times more ore, we almost immediately hit labor and capital bottlenecks that will make the extra ore worthless

16

2

740

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

my toxic trait is that if i'm down to my last exercise in the gym and the machine is occupied i just go home

12

23

714

monk

@mechanical_monk

8 months

on second thought i shouldn't have posted the serious opinion i truly care about and want ppl to see as a reply to what is in retrospect a slightly retarded tweet

34

4

704

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

one of the biggest steps in my emotional maturity was when i realized that anger is not immature

Thiago ✱

@thiagovscoelho

9 months

everyone thinks they are mature, even the people who still get angry and have heated arguments

3

1

26

19

32

684

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

@tallsnail your baby is destined to lead nations

2

1

698

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 years

bois a jacked qt3.14 in the gym looked at me like 5x in the span of 10 mins it was absolutely free i knew i couldn't look you guys in the eyes if i didn't go get her number, so i did i WILL learn normal, rudimentary human social skills can i get Ws in the chat pls

119

4

664

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 years

@drethelin girls aren't real, they're a marketing ploy by Big Therapy

2

30

650

monk

@mechanical_monk

1 year

reports from the life of a completely normal person

18

33

669

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

goddamn facebook was kinda good, wasn't it we shouldn't have let it die like that

7

5

673

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

occasional reminder

8

66

655

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

@__justplaying a real life manic pixie dream girl

4

3

654

monk

@mechanical_monk

10 months

Mar Assustador

@MarAssustador

10 months

A parte de baixo de um peixe-serra

2K

35K

7

61

581

monk

@mechanical_monk

1 year

a lesson from undergraduate econ that i remember to this day is that before you come up with an explanation for a phenomenon you should make sure that the phenomenon actually exists

11

47

609

monk

@mechanical_monk

4 months

i never got a satisfying answer to this btw "android is poor-coded" my (android) phone cost €900 (~$1k), what is an acceptable price to pay for a phone then? can a woman explain pls

monk

@mechanical_monk

10 months

i compare specs and prices, i pick a phone, it happens to be android i don't understand the sociosexual meaning of phone picks is this an american thing? what's happening

118

23

849

168

11

610

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 years

hire me to show up at your house and point out all the little household problems you learned to ignore that make your life slightly worse and take 10 mins to fix each

29

20

593

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

my grumpy grandpa always refuses to pick up any hobby, travel anywhere, or learn anything bc he'll "be dead in a year anyway" he's been saying this for the past 20 years

21

16

594

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

curiosity and courage are the only two skills you need. both are trainable

18

75

579

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 months

date idea: climb trees

17

27

590

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 years

hello i made a thing it allows you to fetch a list of someone's follows, followers, or mutuals, or combine two such lists from two users, and export the results to CSV or JSON below i'll list some things you can use this for

27

104

555

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

@nvpkp if i had a nickel for every time i make a tweet that's like 90 % about you and make it about "women" and it gets 1k+ likes i'd have 2 nickels but it's still interesting that it happened twice

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 years

women love being laid on top of

37

137

2K

2

3

551

monk

@mechanical_monk

4 years

@shoe0nhead Sanders vs buttigieg

5

45

484

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 years

imagine if we reproduced by having bees land on our dicks and get their legs covered in cum, then fly away to crawl up some girl's pussy

49

26

499

monk

@mechanical_monk

8 months

one tiny thing i appreciate about rust that i don't see mentioned often is the consistent number type names i8, i16, i32, u8, u16, f8, f16, etc etc like. wtf is a "long". wtf is a "double"

17

11

525

monk

@mechanical_monk

28 days

in my dream last night there was a group of women at vibecamp who tried to find the hottest guy there by going up to a guy, asking him who the hottest guy he knows is, going up to *that* guy, etc, until they'd find a guy who said "me" flawed strategy but funny dream

12

13

533

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 months

give me your takes on what language someone should learn programming with and why i've heard ppl make a case for javascript, python, C, even assembly (imo deranged) and miss me with that "it doesn't matter" or "it depends", i want Takes

287

17

509

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 months

@CurziRose i definitely prefer rejections to come only in reaction to my advances if i've met you 2 hours ago and you go "oh btw i'll never be romantically interested in you" i'd be like wtf

10

3

510

monk

@mechanical_monk

1 year

sometimes i'm playing online chess and they suddenly resign and then it turns out i had a mate in one they're so averse to explicitly losing that they didn't stick around to find out whether i saw the mate (lol no) some sort of a metaphor for the self-rejection ppl sometimes do

38

28

493

monk

@mechanical_monk

8 months

so as we know, until as recently as 100 years ago, ppl were really short and yet an imperial foot is 30.5 cm which is pretty damn big i'm 6'3" and even my feet are not that big what's going on did pre-modern ppl have incredibly large feet? fucking hobbit ass feet?

41

7

490

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

getting your shit together would be way easier if there was a number that you could track as easy as plates in the gym like "i have my shit 45 % together, and my goal is to get to 60 by summer" kind of deal

31

21

489

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 years

mate 😏

不死身のquaran 🐀

@qoouep

2 years

@mechanical_monk wait what is the victory condition

2

0

7

6

11

485

monk

@mechanical_monk

1 month

POV you wake up. your brain is trying to break out of your skull. you've overslept your cat's feeding time

2

5

485

monk

@mechanical_monk

1 year

ok so TIL everyone who answered 1 on the "visualize an apple" thing is a liar

123

21

467

monk

@mechanical_monk

1 year

"women, what would you do if you were in a man's body for a day" lemme tell you the one thing you'd do for sure is sit on your balls i just noticed all the little movements that i do when sitting/lying down that i learned through years of experience to avoid squeezing my balls

16

3

472

monk

@mechanical_monk

27 days

@sullyj3 my usual bar for code is i should be able to read it with a hangover

4

11

455

monk

@mechanical_monk

9 months

after a chess game, i open the game review, wondering: which move lost me the game? was i winning at any point? i need life game review at the end of every day. when did my day go awry? was i on pace to have a productive day at any point?

37

27

444

monk

@mechanical_monk

4 years

Sam Harris in podcast ep 207 talks about how people are terrified to talk about current events and this is bad because if discussion breaks down completely, the only path forward is violence brother, the violence is the *goal*; the norms against discussion are the means

11

55

417

monk

@mechanical_monk

6 months

a leftist party but they understand economics who's building this

53

15

445

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 years

watched the new Dune yesterday guys if you can't fit a whole story into a movie just make a TV series i'm not saying you can't adapt a book into a trilogy but each movie has to stand on its own as a story it can't be all setup, there has to be payoff, it's not a pilot episode

37

9

435

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 years

oh god i subconsciously learned to fix my posture when i see a girl i just realized when i walked past a girl in the gym hallway and straightened up and she laughed rip me

32

2

416

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

@qorprate imagine if the reason was that when they first showed him how to use the machine they showed him with two cups and he didn't realize you can just load in half as much coffee and let both streams go in one cup

8

2

440

monk

@mechanical_monk

4 months

it finally happened to me i mansplained soccer to a woman who was on the u16 national team

14

4

431

monk

@mechanical_monk

10 months

@joodalooped i cannot conceive of a different way of buying an expensive piece of electronics that i will be using for years

22

3

422

monk

@mechanical_monk

2 months

ok i've been in this city a few months now, time to stop mucking around and make friends starting from literal 0 encouragement welcome (as well as—i know i'll regret this—advice)

65

6

425

monk

@mechanical_monk

3 years

@bambooney realistically,

2

8

353

monk

@mechanical_monk

5 months

huge difference between "everything wrong in my life is my fault" and "everything wrong in my life is my responsibility"

bowser

@browserdotsys

5 months

in theory "everything wrong is my fault" and "everything wrong is someone else's fault" are equally unhealthy but i notice successful people are more often the former than the latter so it's worth a try

50

19

469

5

42

417

monk

@mechanical_monk

4 months

to put it in Trackmania terms, your manager is asking "what time can you set on this map" but they mean what time you'll get in the discovery run and you're imagining what time you'll get in your first clean run when you've memorized all the turns

3

5

419

monk

@mechanical_monk

7 months

my goal is to furnish my apartment and have a housewarming party by mid december i just realized that i will need friends to have a housewarming party otherwise it's gonna be extremely sad how do i make, like, 10 friends in a month

30

11

382