Maxtortion @maxtortion Twitter profile

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Maxtortion

@maxtortion

2 months

MTG tournament tips - don't use sexy bikini anime girl card sleeves in a public setting - when a woman is displeased that her opponent was using aforementioned sleeves and tweets about it, don't go looking through her tweet history for photos to be like "well what about THIS??"

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@maxtortion

2 years

Generally I'm on "allow people to buy what they want," but not this time. $1000 proxies are a scam. WotC is trying to scam us. If people buy these, WotC will attempt future scams. Do not spend $1000 on proxies. Do not let your friends spend $1000 on proxies.

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@maxtortion

10 months

If you want to avoid running into this type of player, the best way to go about that is by winning Round 1

Conner Roth

@Ohdatpro

10 months

#MTG Hot take: Proxies should not be encouraged. I worked hard for my expensive cardboard and then some people show up with only the "expensive" cards proxied. There's still appropriate times for proxies, but it's insulting for people to shortcut what I've earned. 1/2

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@maxtortion

2 months

This blew up a bit, so here’s context:

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@maxtortion

5 months

MTG Dave

@MTG__Dave

5 months

Hot take: spells should cost mana to cast.

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@maxtortion

3 months

I love that this also applies to MTG Legacy

MBT

@MBTYuGiOh

3 months

the yugioh community is the most highly-concentrated group of innovative minds since the manhattan project

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@maxtortion

2 years

Amazing. Imagine WotC had announced that they’re selling a paper replica of the MTGO Vintage Cube (with all of these cards, and proxy beta basics for good measure) for $1000. Now THAT would be a way to celebrate 30 years of Magic.

Cφdy

@mtgzoomer

2 years

@maxtortion I’ll defend them selling a cube til the day I die…. Which is what $1,000 should buy. A carefully curated and sanctioned proxy cube that an LGS or group of friends can get together and buy to celebrate Magic’s 30th. But cracking four packs for $1,000? Absolutely insulting.

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@maxtortion

2 years

We trained an AI by having it read 1000 hours of Magic Twitter and this is what it came up with:

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@maxtortion

2 months

I’ve been engaging with a few people trying to argue the nuances of the specific sleeves in question, I notes’d a long reply about that below. However, I need to point out that digging through her Twitter photos for pictures is just straight up indefensible and disgusting.

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@maxtortion

1 month

This card is going to shift the way that legacy decks are constructed. Completely wipes: Delver threats Chalices/Chrome Moxen Mox Diamonds/Explorations/Constructs And it cycles when not needed?!

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@maxtortion

5 years

well, well, well, how the turntables

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@maxtortion

2 years

If I had a dollar for every like this tweet has received, I could afford four packs of randomized non-tournament-legal proxies

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@maxtortion

5 years

I thought this was supposed to cost BBGG #MTGRNA

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@maxtortion

1 year

PSA: There is a new rule in effect as of today (Nov 14, 2022). If you comment on a decklist with a critique about the printing of a card the OP is using, you are hereby required to purchase and ship your desired printing of the card to that player.

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@maxtortion

10 months

the one ring seller is canadian post malone is american hope this clears it up 🙏

Joe Munns | Collector-in-Chief 🎴

@JoeMunnsHK

10 months

🚨 @PostMalone bought The One Ring for $2m🚨 🤯 Practically every influencer/outlet has quoted $2.6m, but that was unconfirmed 🧾 But here is the proof, it sold for $2million not $2.6million

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@maxtortion

9 months

The “product” I enjoy is the Legacy format, which is the amalgamation of all the sets they release. Modern players are in the same boat (sans commander products). We don’t really get to “skip” things we don’t like, unless by “skip” you mean “quit playing”

Wizards Of The North

@WzrdsOfTheNrth

9 months

Remember when your favorite restaurant added a dish you weren't interested in and how you said nothing while you quietly continued to enjoy the menu items you enjoy? Yeah, that's this. Not every set needs to be for you, quit the entitlement and enjoy the gathering.

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@maxtortion

2 years

Arena’s economy is so bad that they could literally cut the purchase price of gems in half and it would *still* have the worst economy of any digital CCG

April King

@CubeApril

2 years

January 2022 was the worst month for Magic streaming since the launch of Arena, with the second and third worst months being December 2021 and November 2021 respectively. I hope this spurs investment in the Arena client and economy so that it doesn't become a long-term trend.

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@maxtortion

4 months

Calling it: the 2027 Un-set will be named “Unlikely”

MTG Insider

@themtginsider

4 months

Sad news for fans of un sets #mtg #magicthegathering

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@maxtortion

10 months

If you’re looking at the Pro Tour Day 1 results and trying to reconcile why Tron did so well when you always feel favored against it / see it perform poorly, the answer is simple: Pros playing Tron vs. Tron Players

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@maxtortion

3 years

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@maxtortion

2 months

At my LGS’s Legacy event last night, I saw someone playing this card in BG Depths, and it looked really good in the game I watched against Delver. It’s quite unfortunate that it’s from a “likely never going to be on MTGO” set. I am so over Universes Beyond.

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@maxtortion

5 months

if you're looking to get better at magic, i urge you to remember this graph i just made up

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@maxtortion

2 years

MTGO salt gets way more engagement but, speaking for myself, a fair amount of my MTGO chats look like this

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@maxtortion

2 years

Friendly reminder that you, not your opponent, chooses the deck that you register, and they are under no obligation to give up competitive equity for a choice that you make. Conceding to an infinite combo on MTGO is a nice thing to do, but it’s a favor. Not doing so is okay too.

Joe Dejoy, The Omnivore

@DejoyOfGaming

2 years

Just played a "pro" who sat and made me combo when clock didn't matter. Glad your time is so worthless bud.

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@maxtortion

4 years

When paper Magic returns, normalize bringing the fucking shit you KNOW you’re going to need. Idk how some of you got it into your head that you’re too cool to bring some paper, a pen, a few dice, and the tokens your deck makes to the event but I promise that you aren’t.

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@maxtortion

2 years

The timeline is correct. Do not buy $1000 proxies

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@maxtortion

4 years

My wife recently played her first MTGO Legacy League while I was not home (so I couldn't backseat drive). Unfamiliarity with MTGO and Legacy meant that she wasn't the fastest player. An opponent asked if she was literally reading all the cards. She was.

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@maxtortion

4 years

My first game with Legacy Underworld Breach was some of the most busted shit I've ever encountered. I'm in disbelief.

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@maxtortion

8 months

This poll has 10k votes and “Thoughtseize first” is winning 51/49, meaning that this is prob a good litmus test for any future prospective teammates. (Hymn first is correct, and any arguments to Thoughtseize first either don’t understand stats or don’t understand what matters.)

April King

@CubeApril

8 months

You’re on the play with an opening hand containing Swamp, Dark Ritual, Thoughtseize, and Hymn to Tourach. Which discard spell do you cast first, following Swamp into Dark Ritual?

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@maxtortion

4 years

🚨🚨 PT Brussels Win Rates 🚨🚨 I was tempted to put this behind a paywall, but then remembered I'm not about that life. It was a ton of work, though. If you want, you can buy me a beer in Phoenix. Will keep updating page through the weekend.

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@maxtortion

10 months

>hiring a judge for my casual event >ask the judge if they’re a scientist or a cop >they don’t understand >pull out MTR and explain which parts are science and which part are cop >they laugh and say “I’m a good judge sir” >hire the judge >they’re a cop

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@maxtortion

2 months

to have been a fly on the wall when someone in WotC play design said “I’ll tap X to ride Y” and immediately changed the mechanic’s name to saddle

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@maxtortion

1 year

the funniest joke in magic: new set edition

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@maxtortion

9 months

Hey MTG Ambassadors, as your Magic friends distance themselves from you as you become a full-blown corporate shill, that’s okay! People change, 10+ year friendships aren’t meant to last, and at the very least, your friends will find new friends. At least you got free stuff!

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@maxtortion

8 months

If any of you are wondering how cheaters are able to continue flying under the radar with Magic, it’s the same reason I just saw 30 tweets about a cheater at worlds and literally read Sarap’s report on catching the cheater and not one mentioned his name. It’s Frederico Vuono.

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@maxtortion

2 years

🏆WON🏆 the Legacy Showcase Challenge with UB Doomsday (flavorfully sideboarding into the Apocalypse)!! Feels incredible to win one of these things, and massive thanks to @monkeyscantcry for your support this past week on deck construction, tips, and tricks ❤️ Matchups below👇

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@maxtortion

3 years

Legacy players be like “I brewed a deck” and it’s Delver

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@maxtortion

2 years

@BoshNRoll The casual magic players figured out that they didn’t have to spend hundreds of dollars to play with each other

Tomer Abramovici

@BudgetCommander

2 years

TOO POOR FOR MAIN HALL BUT WHO CARES WE'RE SLINGING SPELLS IN BUILDING B!!!

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@maxtortion

3 years

What’s your favorite obsolete Magic card? I’ll go first.

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@maxtortion

1 year

My hottest magic take is that the decades-long culture of the best magic players being above bringing things like dice, tokens, life pads, or (god forbid) a playmat, promotes a “too cool to care” mentality that makes everyone just a little worse off than they would be otherwise.

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@maxtortion

2 months

Geralf the what now??

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@maxtortion

5 years

Thoughts//Prayers Thoughts U, Sorcery Look at your hand. Prayers W, Instant Flip a coin. If it lands on Heads, you win the flip. Fuse

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@maxtortion

10 months

This was a touch too long to fit in a tweet

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@maxtortion

4 years

I don't think this guy is cut out to play Thoughtseize

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@maxtortion

4 years

This is your monthly reminder that there are hundreds of different basic land choices, but Arcum’s Astrolabe has rendered 99% of them noncompetitive.

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@maxtortion

6 months

opponent and I are sworn mortal enemies

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@maxtortion

1 year

Hey @wizards_magic if you want to pay a guy $250,000 per year to screen your plans and say “don’t do that” every few months, just let me know. I would prefer you express your interest via Twitter DM (don’t send anyone over to my house).

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@maxtortion

6 months

i've been playing MTGO for over 6 years and just came across this button. anyone know what it does?

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@maxtortion

2 years

I'm truly sorry, galatriste, for how deeply I have let you down.

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@maxtortion

2 months

@Drakeeper It happened yesterday. The reason you can’t find stuff is she had to make her account private once people started digging through her photos

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@maxtortion

4 years

It is so fucked up to give Mengucci a game loss here. @wizards_magic this is your premier event, and this error is more of a reflection of your failure to integrate real drafts into Arena than anything else. This ruling harms the integrity of such a small, prestigious event.

Andrea Mengucci

@Mengu09

4 years

I just received a Game Loss because I registered a wrong card from my Draft. It kinda stings because I acknowledged it in the checking process after decklists were handed. But as the Latin says: ‘Dura Lex, Sed Lex’. #MTGWorlds 0-0-1. 😅

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@maxtortion

4 months

So there’s a card called A Killer “Among Us” and a game mechanic where creatures are sus(pected) As per usual, this MTG set release nails pop culture references from two years ago

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@maxtortion

4 years

Remember, if the B&R announcement doesn’t go the way you want tomorrow, you don’t need to worry. Ikoria is coming and will render everything obsolete anyway.

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@maxtortion

2 years

@Clark_Confidant The deception is anchoring the price of proxy cards to the secondary market price of the real cards that they’re proxies for. A historical parallel would be selling fools’s gold (pyrite) as discounted gold. It was such effective deception that apparently you didn’t notice.

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@maxtortion

2 years

TURN ZERO WIN 🤯

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@maxtortion

1 year

It’s a bittersweet feeling taking the expressive iterations out of my delver deck 😢

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@maxtortion

2 months

@unbanMM You’ve said a lot of weird things over the years, but this is the one that finally earns you the block. Congratulations, I guess

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@maxtortion

3 months

turns out that the WH40k aren't in the list of cards I can choose with Cabal Therapy. i want to name poxwalkers but can't :(

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@maxtortion

4 years

Just unprint Ikoria. We won't mind. The set hasn't hit stores yet, so nothing in paper lost. Just unprint the cards. Remove them from the online clients and we can pretend it never existed. What a fucking disaster of a set. Holy shit.

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@maxtortion

2 years

I’m completely disinterested in casual group EDH. I think Magic is a terrible game to play when you’re not trying your best to win, and there are countless other games that are better at doing what casual group Magic aims to achieve.

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@maxtortion

7 months

No, you idiot, the thing you dislike that they announced for the game you’ve been gradually liking less and less is good actually.

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@maxtortion

2 years

The CDC just announced that you can go for it and your opponent probably doesn’t have it

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@maxtortion

2 years

Wizards EventLink is showing Arena usernames instead of player names at my LGS’s paper Legacy weekly and it is absolute chaos

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@maxtortion

1 year

My first impression of pioneer is that the decks fit into one of three buckets: - Poorly built decklist of strong archetype - Immaculately built decklist of weak archetype - Mono Green

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@maxtortion

4 years

Are massacre girl and massacre wurm related

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@maxtortion

1 year

I consider myself a pretty ethical person, and while I’ve never cheated in a game of Magic and don’t necessarily intend to start now, if I find myself in Jesse’s situation, this ruling means I probably would just fix the deck error myself, independently.

jesse 🇵🇸

@tiddypills

1 year

disappointing way for a tournament to end :/

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@maxtortion

4 years

Why “Brainstorm decks” aren’t a thing and its comparison to Lurrus is bullshit, a rant: Gameplay patterns are primarily driven by the cards with game-state affecting text. (1/10)

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@maxtortion

4 years

Whoever made the decision to ban @mtghofbot should lose their job. To follow their series of terrible OP decisions with banning the one guy who tried to help level the playing field has shattered any goodwill I had left for the company behind this stupid game.

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@maxtortion

5 years

A Story of Growth, in Three Parts

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@maxtortion

2 months

@Pwnsmithjackson This happened yesterday to my friend. I’m not sure what you’re trying to say.

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@maxtortion

5 years

WotC: If we released Historic now, it would be exactly the same as Standard! Rampaging Ferocidon: iF wE ReLEasEd hIStoRiC nOw iT wOUlD bE eXaCTlY tHe SaMe aS sTaNDaRd

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@maxtortion

5 years

Take's temperature uncertain, but here goes: @MagicOnline has improved so much as a program under Alli Medwin. I love the ability to seriously compete in high-level tournaments in a wide variety of formats. It is a program that I actively promote, and prefer it to @MTG_Arena .

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@maxtortion

3 years

Historic Horizons motivated me with @MTG_Arena like never before- finally uninstalled that bad boi

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@maxtortion

4 years

Legacy at the #SCGPC : brainstorm? ok draw draw draw tank one card down on table tank pick up card tank one card down on table tank second card down on table tank look at hand organize cards tank look at round clock tank put cards on libary tank pass

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@maxtortion

2 years

Undefeated all day (split the 🏆) of the Spellhold Legacy 1k with UWR Katherine Control! Threw deck tougher at the last minute as the UWR shell can easily fit Kathy in and wanted to see how good she actually is (very). Maxwell + Maxwell finals w/ @uburdub on Painter! List 👇

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@maxtortion

6 months

It seems the ship has sailed, but I’m still somewhat annoyed - tribe is not a bad word

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@maxtortion

1 year

This card seems INSANE. There's a lot of bad cards that look like this (e.g. Glint-Sleeve Siphoner / Sea Gate Stormcaller), but I'm calling it: this is a Dreadhorde Arcanist. Read it carefully and pay attention to the (lack of) restrictions on the fork + how easily you get oil.

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@maxtortion

2 years

Legacy over the past few months: - I will never financially recover from this turtle - I will never financially recover from this kitten - I will never financially recover from this hamster

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@maxtortion

4 years

At a Legacy event years ago, this happened: Opp: Life from the Loam? Me: [wait 5 seconds] Resolves. Opp: [Goes to pick up 3 lands] Me: You didn't target anything. Judge sided with me, and I won the match. Still feel bad. What's the scummiest thing you've done in a MTG tourney?

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@maxtortion

5 years

Max Rant incoming: If you're complaining because you're not queuing into "real" decks in your #MTGO "testing" and therefore it isn't valuable, you're testing wrong, and your approach to competitive Magic is somehow both entitled and sub-optimal. (1/X)

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@maxtortion

1 year

This just happened to me in the Legacy Last Chance Qualifier. I guess it's ironic given the discourse today about tilting losses.😠

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@maxtortion

2 years

How do you take paper mtg deck pictures without glare? Asking for me. Current best attempt below:

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@maxtortion

3 months

In a competitive match, if you touch my card(s) to read them, I will assume you’re doing that to save time on the clock. As far as touching my cards to target them, it doesn’t even register to me who at my LGS touches them and who doesn’t.

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@maxtortion

9 months

If you think 57 card Creativity is good, just wait until you see 59 card Doomsday with Thassa’s Oracle as sideboard card #16

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@maxtortion

2 months

@eshiwiki You can use them all you want in a private setting.

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@maxtortion

4 years

not every problem can be solved by elking it

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@maxtortion

9 months

Just so we’re all clear: compensation for time (i.e. work) and personal costs to be paid in *product*, that the people doing the work then have to sell to convert it into currency, is already pretty messed up. To make the product less valuable is just slashing their pay.

Elaine 🎡🗡️

@Oritart

9 months

Does this combo work the way I think it does?

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@maxtortion

23 days

For tournament Magic, I think it's important to remember that your mental state (brain engagement, making misplays) are really another instance of luck, and even though it's not random in the same way as a die roll, it's (mostly) out of your control, so don't beat yourself up.

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@maxtortion

2 years

The real joke is the implication that playing Death and Taxes leads to winning

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@maxtortion

4 months

This tweet is specifically about using counterfeit cards in place of authentic ones: It’s neutral-to-slightly-unethical to use counterfeits as game pieces in a sanctioned tournament. It’s highly unethical to try to pass a counterfeit card as authentic in a sale. That’s fraud.

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@maxtortion

1 year

Kanister polls in a nutshell: “which one is better?” 20% voted “a Pen” 80% voted “a Car” And then Kanister comes in with a next-level evaluation like “you idiots can’t even sign your name without a pen, how would you even buy the car?!”

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@maxtortion

4 years

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@maxtortion

4 years

Ban whoever is making decisions at WotC. I understand this may result in multiple bans

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@maxtortion

4 years

Magic players literally only want one thing and it's disgusting PT Deck Win Rates The page is now complete and contains - PT Brussels day 1 & all swiss - PT Nagoya day 1 & all swiss - Combined stats w/ confidence intervals

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@maxtortion

2 years

Hey @wizards_magic can we retroactively Acorn sticker cards? The reason I’m presenting is that requiring knowledge of English (or at least what vowels are) goes against Magic as a global game. But this is what I’m actually mad about (given that goblins is a sticker deck now) 👇

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@maxtortion

2 years

Here you go ya filthy animals UB Doomsday Sideboard Map If you disagree with a sideboard choice, go with your best judgment. If a matchup isn't on here, please don't ask me. Try to figure it out.

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@maxtortion

4 years

How to use Mishra's Bauble to help flip Delver: On opponent's EoT, Bauble yourself. If it's an inst/sorc, put upkeep Bauble trigger on the stack first so that Delver flips to the card. If not, put Delver trigger on the stack so that Bauble draws and Delver sees a fresh card.

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@maxtortion

4 years

One thing to take away from this is that if your online opponent seems to be taking a long time to make plays, they might just be new to the client or the format. Everyone starts off this way, and I think some people forget that growing a playerbase means adding *new* players.

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@maxtortion

3 years

Can WotC post the ban announcement so I can stop refreshing Twitter

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@maxtortion

2 years

Anu is streaming the beta draft right now because apparently the billion dollar brand decided not to stream their best marketing tool

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