Lucy Alice @lucitelu Twitter profile

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

A woman opens a Twitter account, a play in four acts:

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

All that clapping. All those NHS badges. Performative nonsense.

NursingNotes

@NursingNotesUK

4 years

Only a handful of MPs turned up to debate a pay rise for health and social care workers.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

Look at the hoodie my tube map loving son got from his bestie - she hand sewed it for him.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

Go to Google. Type cat. Click on the paw icon. Then keep tapping the screen.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

I arranged to meet my dad, who I’ve never known. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. He didn’t turn up. Reading about Thomas Markle, it’s clear some dads are just so appalling it’s far healthier to keep them as far away as possible.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

Sky saying Tom Tugenhat is ‘throwing his hat into the ring’. Does that mean we now call him Tom Tugen?

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 months

I think they were the same age at other times too.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

The tiny minority of people coming here to point out a flaw like it’s some sort of win, you realise you’re the world’s worst people, right?

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

Thank you to the many, many people who have pointed out it also works for dog (or ‘dogs’!)

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

29 days

@TaylorMod @luckybeanzphoto They really don’t.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

@jasperwillem He does and thank you!

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

@andreajenkyns God help education if this is the state of your literacy

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

9 months

This picture looks like Braverman is taking urgent advice from the dog.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

28 days

@TaylorMod @luckybeanzphoto I know what you said, you’d still be wrong.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

@nollidruj @BradfemlyWalsh Just want to say - I’m his mum and he’s not reading this and it’s lighthearted, and really, really, back off from telling people how to live, ok?

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

I bought tickets for England Lionesses v Germany at Wembley. A TENNER each. £1 for children. So £22 for a family of four. If you’re nearby in November, go for it. Quality international football at Wembley for less than a London cinema ticket.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

LizKershaw getting ratioed by Labi Siffre is the content you didn’t realise you needed today

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

Really sad to hear this news, but look at the lad’s initials

LBC

@LBC

2 years

Brentford and England star Ivan Toney charged with 232 breaches of FA betting rules

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

@tintinabulashun I’m sure they do but I think it’s quite clear this tweet isn’t about you.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

1 year

Oh my god: I’ve just encountered Matt Hancock. Shaking. Shaking.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

Sheffield.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

@shewithcapitalV @Sara_Rose_G That’s lovely! Anemone.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

These are my 1970s Easter egg mugs. They are small enough for a little coffee. 1970s Easter eggs were the best.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

@mrmarkdolan @GBNEWS Right Said Fred: icons Danniella Westbrook: legend Paul McCartney: overrated I almost feel sorry for you having to pretend you believe this nonsense.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

1 year

Picture layout not thought out very well.

Guardian G2

@guardiang2

1 year

Rishi Sunak as a paedophile-protecter? Attack ads are back - and they’re as daft as ever

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

Oh good God. #Prague

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

@Naveman01 ‘London’ didn’t close churches. Churches close because no one goes to them. Please name one, just one, no go zone. I’ll wait.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

Woman posts a pic of her new baby and some people just can’t help themselves.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

Ok this is not fun. Missiles and footballs being thrown everywhere. 1pm

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

@MrKenShabby @WestminsterWAG I stood outside Buckingham Palace once. IMAGINE my elitist privilege.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

@BradfemlyWalsh @nollidruj Unsolicited deadly serious parenting tips from strangers are completely in tone with this gentle and wholesome thread.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

Hey everyone, I’m having to mute this thread for a bit as I’m getting abuse. My crimes? Talking about bad fathers and not bad mothers, not considering my dads feelings, and criticising Markle. I need a break as I’m a bit shaky. Will come back stronger 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

UPDATE! The artist, Verity, is bowled over by all the love and she has agreed I can share her work with you all. She’s a very special talent. Here she is.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

‘Naughty!’ Just fuck off with this take, Channel 5. The man is a duplicitous, racist, philandering bully, not a five year old child.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

‘Please keep children and pets indoors’. NextDoor ramping up the entertainment value.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

Hey friends, thank you to everybody who had taken the time to reply to this. Some answers can’t have been easy to write. I am trying to go through and acknowledge each one but this will take time - so thank you for now x

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

@sara_polar @NaomiOhReally @euronews @Independent @DailyMailUK @dailybeast Well, no. She died.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

@aastroreborn 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

@DrHarryThomas @BeatriceP8765 I am a registered nurse with a degree in occupational health but Steve Brookstein, an X factor contestant, told me I know nothing about covid and to ‘stick to looking after people’

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 months

I have probably listened to Girls and Boys more than most people on this planet. Today I found out that there is a line of German in there. I’ve been singing ‘deep in session’ merrily for 30 years

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

8 months

@mc_guinness4 @AlisonHammond You mean you feel uncomfortable seeing her.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

@andrew_raeburn Oh that will do nicely!

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

I bought this 1970s wallpaper. I cannot begin to tell you how happy this has made me. It is so bright. Not a clue what I’m going to do with it, mind.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 years

@ThornfieldHall @sturdyAlex @ConservativeTht His imaginary friend might want to point out to him that European schools tend not to need armed guards because, you know, no guns.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

@DaveGorman A bottle of Pop.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

Ok. Im home now and still shaking with anger but here is a more coherent account of what just happened (thread)

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

1 year

@politic_animal Or move to Berlin! Oh.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

@JackLoventhal @chemalino @scottharris68 People you’ve never heard of are allowed to post videos on Twitter, Jack.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

My friend sent me this frankly odd selection of books for my birthday. Thought she’d lost the plot but in fact they are the top five bestsellers of my year and it is a genius present.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

1 month

@lambdacor3 @saturn1slosing You have done absolutely nothing wrong and this Twitter policing is petty and ridiculous.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

Someone has donated the most AMAZING collection of disco shorts to my local charity shop.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

@HarryEditor1 Mate, you’ve jumped into my mentions to slag off mothers and defend a deadbeat dad hanging on for a desperate buck off his daughter’s fame. But sure, I’m the one with the hang ups. Sure.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

7 months

@StreetStarAndy6 @kirstyy199 To earn a living I expect, Andy.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

10 months

Enjoyed the West Ham/Chelsea match. As a mother of sons, it was great to see the boys give it their all. Inspiring.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

@gerbillady Oh, I’ve had some horrible abuse from this today. Totally proving the point of the tweet.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

@brit_cynical @PaulBrandITV Khan hasn’t reduced police numbers by 20,000 or cut youth services.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

First three replies to the Kasabian statement. I stopped looking after these.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

Sold a postcard of a long forgotten Hollywood actor on eBay. Today, the buyer messaged me to say it is for his 92 year old mother who used to DATE the actor when he was working here in the 1950s. My day is made. ❤️❤️

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

A man on this tube has just asked a stranger for some of his chips. The poor fella obliged & the man has complained that they don’t have salt on 👀

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

@DavidTCDavies @CatrinMaby How dare you try to shame a constituent for asking a reasonable question. Your job is to be accountable to constituents, not belittle them. Shameful.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

Some of you might remember I lost my engagement ring diamond a few weeks before Christmas. Today, at the bottom of a tote bag:

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

@GammaCounter Oh wow, that is absolutely amazing. What a gesture!

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

I sold this picture in my shop today of this long forgotten 1940s Hollywood actress. Note from buyer: do you have any more pictures of my Grandma? My heart 😭

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

@HarryEditor1 We were watching different interviews, pal, and this tweet is about my experience with my father. But thanks for your input.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

@ColinBrowning14 Yes. Immigration queues at airports are more annoying.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

Men: what is preventing you from doing this?

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

Imagine being able to draw a picture by throwing a pen. Talented.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

@themichaelowen @EmmaRaducanu Congratulations Emma. Here’s a picture of me in 1977 winning a balloon for the bleakest playground.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

@tragiconlytwin @icknield44 @rachaelvenables @chunkymark @LBC Christ. Have a think about what you’ve just said.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

Always nice to have a new follower.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

I thought briefly this was Thomas the Tank Engine. Upon opening it, it is very much NOT Thomas the Tank Engine.

Ghostcards

@DreamPostcard

4 years

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

@Simo_Morris @Naveman01 Very good point. Doubt it’s ever been anywhere near London though.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

1 year

@johnredwood ‘And I particularly enjoyed Tottenham v Spurs’

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

The young woman came and sat opposite me. Absolutely distraught. I texted BTP. Other passengers shocked.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

@JimBethell ‘Before succeeding to his family titles’. Such grit and perseverance.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

3 years

State of it.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 months

Brazil have obviously seen Question Time

George Monbiot

@GeorgeMonbiot

5 months

In Brazil, the bald uakari is rather rudely known as o macaco inglês. It means the English monkey.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

Late night Tube. I can’t stop looking.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

11 months

I’d be fed up too if I’d had to play alongside Morrissey all those years.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

In Covent Garden, dressed to the nines to meet my best mate. Two women have stopped me to compliment me on my dress. Such a small but lovely gesture. Women are ❤️

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

23 days

@BobbyDigitalHTX @DukeOfWinter @Virginia_Brasch

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

27 days

@cdaly72 I hope she produced a confirmation email.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

Woman tries to do some good in the world. Man responds.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

@CardiffCarl2310 Yeah, you’re a real nice guy Carl.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

2 years

@remysmom7 You’re welcome! A gift from my son who found it by accident

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

@MichelleMone No one believes you.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

1 year

Happy Easter from me and my 1970s Mr. Men Easter egg mugs.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

@bad_diabetic @skdougherty Yeah, it isn’t really a choice for many people.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

@Natt @rosaltmann Remind me not to go take any pensions advice from someone who literally does not believe their eyes and ears.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

4 years

@blancmarc20 So he should be, what difference does it make? I was nervous too.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

6 months

@MikelGunners @killerofwatches @VincentVanGrump @FHawksworth @jackypetal @idruprofen 1. ‘He’s at home’ WRONG 2. ‘He doesn’t earn £15 ph’ WRONG 3. ‘I know quite a few’ You really, really don’t or 1 and 2 wouldn’t be made up as you go along. Stop digging.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

5 years

I’m listening to a country song about a dad who braked sharply whilst on the car with his 4 year old son & the son dropped his fries & a chicken nugget went under the seat & the son said ‘shit’ so when they got home the dad went into the barn & prayed. A lot to think about.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

1 year

@LeeAndersonMP_ Literally no one thinks this is wrong, calm yourself down and turn your phone off.

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Lucy Alice

@lucitelu

1 year