🍸🄻🄰🄽🄴🍸 @lanechanged Twitter profile

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@lanechanged

4 months

Made a meme today.

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@lanechanged

2 years

Ohhhhh, SNAP.😂

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@lanechanged

5 months

I really loved this. More of us should be that lady. 🎯

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@lanechanged

3 months

This is what human evolution is up against. 😭😭😭😭🙄

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@lanechanged

4 years

Mr. Favre, Id rather kneel with Colin Kaepernick on the sidelines than stand with Trump on the greens any day of the week.

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@lanechanged

5 months

Next time you hear someone blaming Joe Biden for the higher costs of living, please show them this....

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@lanechanged

3 years

If i started a Twitter account devoted entirely to keeping Ivanka Trump out of politics, who would follow me?

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@lanechanged

2 years

We're still gonna go ahead & celebrate Betty White's 100th birthday next week, right?

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@lanechanged

4 years

No, Shakira did not whip J-Lo's ass last night, nor vice-versa. Those two females were equally amazing. The halftime show wasn't a competition. Quit trying to make women compete with each other. We're not having that anymore. Sincerely, all girls.

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@lanechanged

3 years

I consider it an honor & a privilege to be banned from 3 different Hobby Lobby's in the greater DFW metroplex. #HobbyLobby

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@lanechanged

4 months

It's a fact that if you ask your hubs to bring you something from your purse he will just bring you the entire purse.

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@lanechanged

2 months

This is my fav piece of art i've ever done. Acrylic on canvas.

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@lanechanged

2 years

I did my color tonight & tried some purple streaks.😂 What do you think? Am i too old for it?

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@lanechanged

4 years

If you think Kamala Harris is a righteous Bad Bitch too, i want to follow you.

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@lanechanged

3 years

Do you realize we are fuckin PAYING those guys to not fuckin pay us? 😵 #RepublicansDontCare

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@lanechanged

3 years

Who remembers this thing? 👇

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@lanechanged

3 years

How stupid do you have to be to spend your savings (during a pandemic) to travel to Washington DC just so you can show your support for an outgoing President ??

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@lanechanged

2 years

Sure sex is great but have you ever passed the car who tailgated then tore by you 3 miles back getting pulled over by a state trooper ?

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@lanechanged

4 years

If anyone can help me identify that sailor who yelled "What the fuck!" after Sec. Modly made his embarrassing speech to the crew aboard the USS Roosevelt.... I'd really like to flash that guy my tits.❤️

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@lanechanged

2 years

The same consumer-type backlash that's happening to Spotify right now for hosting Covid lies should be happening to Fox News Channel as well.

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@lanechanged

3 years

You know what would be really fuckin helpful? If SHAMPOO & CONDITIONER were printed in LARGE PRINT on the bottles, for those of us who don't take our reading glasses into the shower.

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@lanechanged

3 years

Why is @SenTedCruz not quarentining after re-entering the country?

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@lanechanged

2 years

Oh, Hell no. I'd be scared shitless to vacuum.

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@lanechanged

2 years

Stephen Colbert is a national treasure.

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@lanechanged

4 years

I'm not tryin to be an alarmist, or stoke any ideas of violence, i promise.....but i have a serious question: If Trump tries to delay the election this year, do you think that puts us at the point of requiring an actual, PHYSICAL intervention to take our country back?

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@lanechanged

3 years

People who give the little thank you wave when you let them into traffic are the bomb.

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@lanechanged

4 years

Can everyone see how under Trump we just go from one huge crisis to another...?? Constantly. Y'all can see that, right? Its not just me?

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@lanechanged

3 years

Who else is old enough to remember these things?

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@lanechanged

4 years

So, do we think female demons swallow all that demon sperm? ...or do they just gargoyle? sorry.😂

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@lanechanged

10 days

It blows my mind that in the 50s & 60s, strange men selling vacuums & encyclopedias would knock on doors & be welcomed into a woman's home while their husbands were at work & their children were at school. Wtf kind of creepy madness was THAT?? 😳

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@lanechanged

3 years

One of my favorites... 🤣😂🤣

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@lanechanged

2 years

I'd like to share w/you that I finally left the Ex last week- the safety & security of my sweet lil home of almost two decades & the familiarity of everything I know. This wk, I found an apt & I'm starting over. Terrified. Excited. But most importantly, I'm free. Yay, me!😁

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@lanechanged

4 years

I wanna go with Bill Maher's idea.... and seat Stormy Daniels on the front row for the first debate. She can just sit there and quietly pick the mushrooms off of her pizza.

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@lanechanged

5 months

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@lanechanged

4 years

I will never think of Trump as #45 again. From now on, he will always be #3 to me.

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@lanechanged

3 years

This is what Gator eyes look like at night to a cell phone cam. photo by David Moynahan

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@lanechanged

3 years

Me neither. Not even ONCE in the six months since getting it have i been asked to show proof of vaccination. How about you?

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@lanechanged

3 years

I truly never expected this pandemic to turn into a nationwide IQ test.

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@lanechanged

4 years

If MEN got pregnant: - Morning Sickness would rank as the #1 health crisis in America - Maternity leave would be fully paid & last 2 yrs - All methods of birth control would improve to 100% effectiveness. What else?

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@lanechanged

4 years

I have a question for you guys: Are you wearing a facemask while in the drive-thru line? While in your own car?

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@lanechanged

3 years

IT SHOULD NOT BE SO GODDAMNED HARD TO VOTE IN THE UNITED FUCKING STATES OF AMERICA.

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@lanechanged

4 years

I'm doin it y'all. I'm walkin into Walmart one hour before closing. On Christmas Eve. Its been really nice knowin you guys. ❤️✌️

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@lanechanged

4 years

Do you believe in God? Im not asking if you follow him. I just wonder how many believe he's there.

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@lanechanged

3 years

I'm never fucking a Republican again for as long as live.

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@lanechanged

4 years

Biden/Warren What do you think?

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@lanechanged

3 years

For a state that legalized weed, i really expected more from Colorado than Lauren Boebert.

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@lanechanged

3 years

My President came to Texas today to check on us. Becuz he cares about us & thats just how he rolls. ❤️

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@lanechanged

3 years

Our local ABC newscast here in N. Texas just aired the results of a call-in survey they did today, asking if we approve of our Governor's decision to open Texas back up & do away with all mask mandates. 90% of those who voted DO NOT approve.

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@lanechanged

3 years

🤣😂🤣

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@lanechanged

3 years

The President who's never read a book in his life should not get to have his own library. At best, they should allow him a bowling alley.

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@lanechanged

4 years

Call me ambitious, but the White House is not enough. I want the Senate back too.

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@lanechanged

9 months

@TG22110 Lol 😂 Tbh, last cpl days I've been solidly in the *televise it* camp, strictly so his cult can have full transparency to it. Then I had a thought this morn: Jan 6 was live & televised, we all saw it, & it didnt make a dif. *Seeing is believing* doesn't work with this cult. 🤦🏼‍♀️

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@lanechanged

3 years

I'm sure I'll get made fun of for this but IDGAF.... Has anyone ever combined taking a nice hot shower with scrubbing the basin & wall tiles?

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@lanechanged

2 years

I just wanna get thru these holidays to January so we can celebrate something truly worthy & magnificent: Betty White's 100th birthday.

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@lanechanged

3 years

If i could just get my hands on some extra vaccine, I'd hit the open road in Texas & be the Blow-Dart Bandit. 😂

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@lanechanged

3 years

Twitter, please help me convince @BetoORourke to run for Governor of Texas by LIKING or RTing this tweet.🙏

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@lanechanged

2 years

I never eat a Chick-fil-A & the only time i go to Hobby Lobby is when i sneak in to do some shenanigans...becuz, as some of you know, I've been banned from entering 3 dif stores in the greater DFW metroplex.😂

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@lanechanged

3 years

I'd like to explain something to Kellyanne Conway about her new book deal. * clears throat "Your fans don't read, girl." @KellyannePolls

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@lanechanged

3 years

We didn't have Starbucks pumpkin spice latte when I was young.... We had these. 👇👇 And we luved 'em.

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@lanechanged

3 years

She told her Dad she wanted to be a Transformer for Halloween...😂

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@lanechanged

2 years

I'm sending Lauren Boebert a handmade potholder for Christmas.... I really hope she likes it.🤞🤞

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@lanechanged

4 years

Who else puts ice in their Doggy's water bowl during the summertime?

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@lanechanged

11 months

Ted Cruz's idiotic rants aside, can we talk about how absolutely fabulous Pat Benatar looks at 70 yrs old? 🔥

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@lanechanged

4 years

you jealous, bro?

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@lanechanged

3 years

Being with the wrong person feels lonelier than being alone.

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@lanechanged

4 years

Best thing Biden could do right now is announce his pick for VP so she can jump into the ring & start defending him from a woman's perspective.

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@lanechanged

3 months

@YonatonShalom I have no idea what you're saying here but I fuckin love Dr Anthony Fauci. He's a kind man, a caring man. He has no agenda other than just to help people be healthiest they can be. If you're saying otherwise, you're down the crazy rabbit hole.

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@lanechanged

4 years

Did you know that 2-3 glasses of wine per day can reduce your risk of giving a crap about whatever bullshit Donald Trump's been saying all day? Its true.

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@lanechanged

3 years

Stacy Abrams for Time Magazine's 2020 Person of the Year, y'all.

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@lanechanged

3 years

Greg Abbott is making up excuses.... Ted Cruz is in Cancun on vacay... I have no friggin idea where John Cornyn is.... And Beto O'Rourke is showing real compassion & acting like a leader by making wellness checks on his fellow Texans.

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@lanechanged

5 months

May the smell be with her... wherever the fuck she may be. #TrumpSmells #TrumpSmellsLikeAss #TrumpStinks

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@lanechanged

3 years

Im tired of wearing a bra. I just want someone to stand behind me and carry my boobs around with us everywhere we go.

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@lanechanged

2 months

@SundaeDivine 😆😂🤣😆😂🙌 Only March & this may well be the Tweet of the Year. 🙌

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@lanechanged

2 years

@JennaEllisEsq @AOC Don't expect you to understand the difference between protest & nasty cat-calling sexual harrassment, Jenna. After all, your team apparently couldn't tell an insurrection from your own asses.🙄

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@lanechanged

4 years

My pinned tweet disappeared, so im re-doing it, because its never been more relevant! 👇👇👇 "A cover is not the book So open it up And take a look. Cause under the covers One discovers That the King May be a Crook." -Mary Poppins #TrumpCrimeSyndicate

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@lanechanged

2 years

I just read pubic hair can go gray.😳 JFC, is there ANY good news about aging? 😭

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@lanechanged

2 years

Mike Pence should've dragged his sorry ass to that ceremony today.

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@lanechanged

3 years

Why should Rudy Giuliani- who's case is mild & who's recently been laughing at Covid restrictions while trekking all over the country MASKLESS- get to have a coveted hospital bed?😠

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@lanechanged

3 years

So, does everyone else give their dog Christmas presents too...?

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@lanechanged

3 years

Just for fun, i curled my hair today. Since I'm still isolating & no one else is gonna see it, i thought I'd at least show you. 😂😘

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@lanechanged

3 years

It sucks that superheroes don't really exist, yet super-villians actually do.

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@lanechanged

5 months

🧵 We lost @WifeySpice90 to Covid today 💔 & i want to tell you something about her: She was a new mom twice over. She shared her pregnancy journeys with us here on Twit. We watched her grow & fall in love with Motherhood in real time. She & I were friends almost as long as...👇

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@lanechanged

4 years

So, theoretically, my light-up, glow-in-the-dark vibrator SHOULD work to fight off the Coronavirus, right?

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@lanechanged

4 years

Something happened 2 me here last night that really hurt my heart. Twit has become so mean lately, & i guess my skin just isnt thick enough 4 it. Im takin a lil break, & while I'm gone, I'm asking everyone 2 please think about how u're treatin each othr. We're all just human. ❤️

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@lanechanged

3 years

Thou shalt not fuck with women's rights. -Ovarians 20:21

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@lanechanged

3 years

Yeah, i didn't really expect the NFL to do the right thing where Aaron Rodgers was concerned. *see Kaepernick, Colin

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@lanechanged

4 years

Y'all do realize I'm just a stay-at-home mom in her forties using words like "yo" & "legit", right?

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@lanechanged

4 years

Question for all the ladies here: How do we feel about getting involved with a right-wing person now? It used to be insignificant to me, several yrs ago. But i wouldn't let one touch this with a ten-foot pole now.

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@lanechanged

3 years

Someone DMed me last night to tell me i look Trans & omg, that's probably the nicest compliment I've ever gotten here! ❤️

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@lanechanged

3 years

When your smoke detector feels entitled to just pop in & judge your cooking. 🙄

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@lanechanged

3 years

I can sit right here & not go to church & still be a decent person.

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@lanechanged

3 years

I've never- not once- asked anybody on Twitter to follow me.

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@lanechanged

3 years

Somebody please call the guys from Queer Eye...we have an emergency.

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@lanechanged

4 years

I'm in my forties, and i still have the occasional nightmare about something that i went thru & dealt with way back in high school. I wonder....are there just some things that never go away?

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@lanechanged

4 years

Who else uses their toast to mop up their runny egg -yolk? Yum. 😋

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@lanechanged

3 years

Remember when a cop became a cop to help people?

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@lanechanged

1 year

@OldRon9 @ThePatriotOasis @magicgirlgol If you're American no one would ask you to, bonehead.🙄

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@lanechanged

5 years

Left my mark at the Craft store today.......

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@lanechanged

4 months

You know what i see here? A girl who's finally found her guy. A guy who's finally found his girl. They look authentic to me & i am so happy for them. ❤️ Ffs, just let them be.

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@MailOnline

4 months

Vivek Ramaswamy claims Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are in a 'fake relationship' and the Chiefs will win the 'rigged' Super Bowl over 49ers to help Joe Biden win in 2024

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@lanechanged

2 years

I'm so sick of all these shady Brett Favre & Aaron Rodgers-types. Other than our boy Colin Kaepernick, name a professional athlete who genuinely cared about people & gave back to others...

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