Jake’s girlfriend @jakesgyal Twitter profile

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

See how 😈 minded you all are! 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

1 year

This is the day you were supposed to ask that question.

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

This photo 📸 is too good to not tweet! #GSUPassOut

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Enyewe social media imetufanya vichwa ngumu! You can argue with a Top World Economist from your bedsitter in Wangige! 😜

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Badala ya kusimama archives bure just walk into the KCB banking hall at KENCOM, take a ticket, sit & wait.

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Ukipea dem wa Kitengela lift halafu aanze kujitoa vumbi akiwa ndani! 😊

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Nobody will take any man seriously when he's seated like this. NOBODY.

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

The Kenyan version of Winter is here. Grab your starter pack. 🇰🇪

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Kenyans 🇰🇪 Please! 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Ukikumbuka Wakamba walitoka Congo wakaenda Kathonzweni kutafuta greener pastures! 😔

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

8 months

Bosco saw death with his own eyes 👀

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

I swear this one really got me! 😂😂😂😂😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

13 days

Marriage nayo ni scam unarudi home umechoka na bado lazima upikie kijana wa mtu, to make matters worse hawezi kula mboga imekatwa kwa kibanda. Is this really what I signed up for?

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Kwetu pazuri. Unafanya nini kwa Mganga? 🤔

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Mkiwa heaven halafu muone Willy Paul akikuja! 🙁

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Wakamba wakifika Mombasa for the first time halafu wapatane na Mabuyu! 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

You remember back in Sunday School uki imba: Kitu gani kitanitenganisha na Yesu Mwokozi wangu x2 Ni Pombe? Hapana nimekataa kabisa (shaking your head vigorously) Usherati? Hapana nimekataa kabisa! (You even sneered & screamed SHINDWE) Look at you now! Who BEWITCHED you!?🤣

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Nothing beats a Subaru. The way these machines negotiate sharp bends at 150Km/hr! Damn! 😂 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Wale madem wa national schools wenye walkua wanatarungia ati eagles cannot mingle with chickens saa hii wanatupea lines za Telkom bure!

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Ukitembea Kayole ucheki msee anakuangalia hivi, hakuna haja ya kuficha simu. Hiyo ishaenda! 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

This could have been you but uliona ukinitumia fare nitakula! 🍆🍆 😝

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Hivi ndivyo footballers usalimiana during substitution! 😝

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

NASArites bloggers after Raila's Harambee House tackle! Watajua hawajui! #UhuruRailatalks 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Enyewe hii maisha imelemea kila mtu. Hata wale wanakuaga na mashilingi kwa kichwa hawana! 😝

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Kwani hii ugali ilipikwa na test tube!? 🤔

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

The family is now complete people! 😊

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

2 years

#MyDeadPeopleClothingChallenge #HustlerNation

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Don't marry a weak woman who when you criticize her she weeps & runs to her parents. Marry a strong woman who if you beat her she will beat the hell out of you & the loser will have to prepare dinner!

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

3 years

No One in the Bible had a Bible.

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Why don't atheists attack Satanists like they do Christians and tell them that their devil😈 isn't real!? 🤔

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

When you have a heavy sip of porridge thinking it is warm...only to find it was at 1000°c🔥

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Kwa jam, watu wa magari kubwa kama v8 na range rover wanauziwa property magazines. Watu wa gari ndogo kama premio na NZE wanauziwa ndizi, jumper cables na alphabetical charts. Sisi Watu wa matatu tunauziwa dawa ya mende, kunguni, minyoo na mitego ya panya. Smh 😕

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

I’m asking everybody to keep my husband 👨 in your prayers 🙏, he hasn’t found me 🤦yet! 🙆💔😢

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Someone tell Jacob Otieno Obunga (Otile Browm) and Veronica Mung'asia Shikwekwe (Vera Sidika) hawataendelea kutusumbua online.... Saitaaaaan!

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

The problem with men is that they count sex rounds based on them cumming not on mutual cum. If I didn’t have an orgasm, we can’t calculate that as a round. Whose round is it? Yours alone? If you’ve NEVER made a woman orgasm, you’ve never finished a round in your life. Drops 🎤

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

My best friend & I pretending to be paying attention in class after being moved from the back seats to the front for noise making! 😉

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

4 years

It's not for everyone guys! Don't force it to fit in! 🤣 🤣 🤣

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Imagine vile Wakamba ni warembo & very industrious sector fulani na wanakulaga maembe tu! Imagine wakiongeza grapes 🍇, avocado 🥑 na apples 🍏!

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Yaani mtu na akili zake akaenda akaweka billboard ya Indomie Kakamega town! 🤣

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Ukiambia Mkamba unampeleka Two Rivers. 😏

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Hii picha imekosa tu Eric Omondi ikuwe complete! 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

How to separate Copper & Mercury ☿ from Sugar. #SugaryLies #SugarLies

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Umoja wa Mayeng ni!?

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Here is @KenyaPower café menu: Cup of tea 10.00 Sitting fees when served 30.00 Milk in the tea 20.00 Water in the tea 15.00 Tea leaves 18.50 Cooking gas 9.00 Salary for cook 5.00 Rent 5.50 Permit 13.00 Others 15.00 Total 141.00 Total Outstanding Cost = 223.00 PAY before ORDER

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

There should be a space in exams where you can write things that you studied in class but have been IGNORED by the examiner. We can't just be wasting our heads & school fees like this! Wtf! 😕😔🤔

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

The distance between Egypt & Israel is about 613KM. It took Moses & the Israelites 40 years to complete this journey On average each day they walked only 43 metres.That's almost half of what Bolt does in 5 Secs I just wish if Moses was around to TWEET about this Laziness! 🤔

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Work hard, get paid, buy chips & chicken. Open the package in a Matatu & let the people smell your success! 🥂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

The guy that takes you to JAIL vs the guy that comes to RESCUE you! Life is such a scam ei! 😕

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

7 years

If there is one thing James Orengo would wish for is the ABSENCE of Raila in Kenya Politics. Raila has made him his DOG. Bark Orengo, Bark!

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Hakuna kitu huuma dem kama kushuka stairs haraka na boobs hazitingiki! 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Mkiona Waitherero akichota maji na mliitisha dry fry! 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Niggas with small dicks must be living a good life. Imagine getting horny in public & nobody notices! 🤷

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

I don't understand why it is so difficult for some of my friends to understand that I don't take alcohol 🍻! There's nothing special about getting drunk.They're always like, "so what do you do for fun"! Well, I got Twitter plus I'm your designated driver when you're all drunk! 🤷

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Wakikuyu usema supu imetosha? 🤔

Dhahabu Kenya

@dhahabumedia

6 years

Wakamba pia husema maji yamezidi unga. 😂😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

2 years

So @Infotrakltd have deleted their poll. We have receipts. The DO was unassailable. Hon Rigathi Gachagua.

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Is this what they meant when they said, "Pwangu upata Pwanguzi!?" 😝

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Quick Advice: Keep your Kambodian friends close! Mango season is around the corner! 😁

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Ukimeza viazi moto na uko kwa wenyewe! 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Journalist wa INOORO TV trying to understand Miguna Miguna's English to translate in Kiuk! Atì kì!? 😂😂😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

9 months

What a man can do only a man can do

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Brathe usiniite Kenyarraa tena. Sasa tukienda majuu si utaanza kuniita Kinyasa! 😂 #YouthBlueWave #CountyScoreCard

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

4 years

Shebesh aliendaga wapi!? 🤔

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Dating a guy with a big dick is all fun....Good Sex.....oh my!!!Great orgasms.....Cheesos!!! Until you breakup and realise the wide problem he left you with!!! Oops! 🤣

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Bae wako ako na gari ama mnanyeshewa hapo stage kama mimea? 🤣

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Kuna jamaa aliiba omo ya Mkamba akafua nayo sai ni wiki ya pili na nguo hazija kauka! Chezea mbali nanii. 🤣

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

All this time I've been saying that I want a Million followers like @C_NyaKundiH or @xtiandela . I always wondered why some serious tweets got less than 100 Rts when somebody has a million followers! Kumbe! 🤔 #TwitterCleanupKE #TwitterPurge

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

If you know anyone who has completed High School na bado hajaendea certificates, mwambie aendee before shule yao ichomwe. Otherwise atatafuta kazi na notes 📝 📝 📝

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Have you ever seen Miguna Miguna without his fake cap & glasses!? 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 Now you have. #MigunaMigunaArrested #MediaShutDownKE #WhyKalonzoSkippedOath

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

There are a couple of loosers in this #WavinyaVsMutua case as seen in this photo 👇. But the biggest looser in the Machakos High Court ruling is Kalonzo Musyoka especially with all that push in FORCING down Ndeti down the throats of the Machakos People. Kalonzo is a BYGONE. 🍉 🍉

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Sasa uliacha pombe ukaanza kunywa chai. Sasa sukari iko na copper na mercury. My friend we are all dying together. Nobody can stop reggae. 🤣

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Unaita Watchman soldier anaanza kujiskia Recce! Smh

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Eat whatever you want. If anyone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too!

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Kenyans are never patient. Some have already had sex several times in November 2018! 🤔

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

If Data Bundles was Sex @SafaricomPLC would be the King of Quickies!

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Ukiwa kwa nyumba peke yako usiku halafu usikie sufuria imeanguka kitchen......"Satan.... is that you!?"

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Raila Odinga has beaten Kalonzo in the Harambee House marathon! 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

A girl who opens booze with their teeth must NEVER be trusted with a blowjob. Tushaelewana!?

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Ezekiel Mutua encourages me to watch a "dirty movie" every time he bans one. Sometimes I don't even know they exist until he mentions them!

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Kwetu mandazi ikipitisha 5 Bob, hiyo ni Black Forest! 😉

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Hii Njaanuary iko na maneno. Unaeka strungi kwa kikombe inaanza kukuchekelea! 😂😂😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Ukitaka Mluhya akule machungwa! 🤣

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

That moment when you try to act like aunty but she knows you are daddy's side chick! 😝

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

How many times have you met people & they send you to deliver greetings to friends & family but you never deliver!?

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Who else turns their TV on but ends up watching their phone all through? 🤔

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

I don't have a problem giving you my number. The thing is who is gonna answer when you call!? 🤷

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Is this the G.O.A.T you all keep talking about!? 🤔

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

There's more than one MILLION churches in the world with over 8 billion members. All these are fighting ONE devil! They've been doing this for over for 2000 years! SATAN please die now! 😈

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

When you live in a very expensive bedsitter! 😂

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

4 years

Since I was born, this product has never changed size, package or design. It doesn't even advertise! What kind of business arrogance is this!?

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

All boobs are destined to fall at some point in life. Same way dicks shrink & can never stand at some point in life. It is science, deal with it.

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

There are more Bibles in lodgings than in churches ⛪.

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

How did my Mom fall for this!? How? 🤔 #Crossover101

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Legalize weed already! 😉

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Your pastor has 6 bodyguards yet he SELLS you anointing oil for PROTECTION!?

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

She's a potential bodyguard/sidekick handling both heavy & lightweight comfortably. Damn she's good! 👏

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Ukienda kwa @OsamaOtero halafu umwambie unataka chapo! 😋

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Leave the bones for the dogs. Eat flesh! 😋

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

6 years

Sometimes you need to spoil yourself! Nunua pampers, vaa halafu ujisusulie! 😝

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Boyfriend typing..... Boyfriend typing..... Boyfriend typing..... Boyfriend typing..... Boyfriend typing..... Boyfriend typing..... Boyfriend typing..... Boyfriend typing..... Boyfriend typing..... Boyfriend typing..... Boyfriend typing..... Boyfriend: ok. Me: 🙄

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Jake’s girlfriend

@jakesgyal

5 years

Hakuna pesa abaye ni baya. Pesa hainaga makosa, ata bibiria amesema, "thao shall not sin" 😊

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