calvin westra @himquail Twitter profile

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calvin westra

@himquail

4 months

@havehadhavehad is there still time to submit?

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calvin westra

@himquail

5 years

if we all stop paying our bills at the same time, i think we could win

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 months

@RoterTodFooty @GoodPostReilly y’all dune too much

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calvin westra

@himquail

7 months

@kevin__fm relapsing so ppl know i don’t support genocide

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 months

@LurkerWatchings @caught_clean @megantheevalium my dad works for nintendo

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

got a new yard sign

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 months

@tallsnail this tweet helped me realize that i could easily eat a banana one third my size even though im an adult

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calvin westra

@himquail

10 days

@ZeeCaptainRon @AdriaanBrae @mayaisfiya @jacklarsonok hell i’m actively not driving right now (im in my house) and i STILL have my foot on the brake

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calvin westra

@himquail

10 days

@A_V_West @PeterThomasAv @OrwellNGoode if your organs are afraid to fail, they’ll never know greatness

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 months

@SixPoo420 @bertovo i randomly bring up this guy’s bi wife all the time. it’s called caring

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 months

@redrawnoxen i’m fine with transcendentalists but i don’t want them using my bathrooms

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calvin westra

@himquail

5 months

@jakebrodes you’re completely right and also the phrasing “just a mess of penis and nuts” is going to live rent free in my mind forever

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 months

gf said she wasn’t hungry so i’m having a light lunch by myself

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calvin westra

@himquail

1 month

@KentPoliceTWell the computer they used

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calvin westra

@himquail

7 months

@Horned_Sphere i always shake my head when i look at the app in public so people know i’m anti sex and anti hitler

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 months

@GoodReddit lord i see what you’ve done for others

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 months

@ukxsx @Morbidful we glue it back on

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 months

@bartlebytaco at this point lofi seems like it just means “royalty free music”

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calvin westra

@himquail

5 months

@univrsw3th4rt i just now realized there’s a reply bar at the bottom. never looked that far down on my phone before i guess

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calvin westra

@himquail

4 months

@Howlingmutant0 are you still a believer in severely autistic girls? because at seven it’s marginal right?

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calvin westra

@himquail

6 months

chekhov was wrong. you should write a shitload of guns into the first act and then just forget about them

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calvin westra

@himquail

4 months

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calvin westra

@himquail

14 days

i’m not saying your trauma is funny, i’m saying your trauma has the potential to be funny if you ever learn how to write

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

i adopted a cat when i was twenty one, when i was on the verge of killing myself any minute of any day. i told myself as long as i only thought about him and nothing else i would be okay. he is dying now, at twelve years old. i take him for his last vet visit tomorrow

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

@lowery_bruce @gregstone_ legend

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calvin westra

@himquail

7 months

@Howlingmutant0 @frank_smith1111 i am actually working on a startup that will cripple children if they’re a little too far head of their classmates and we are actively seeking investors

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 months

today is my birthday. i am 35 it would mean a lot to me if you considered buying my book. if you’re on the fence, consider sending me a dm or just replying to this tweet and i’ll email you a pdf thank you. i’m grateful for all of you (yeah even you <3)

Donald Goines is a brand you can trust.

donald goines by calvin westra is a book by calvin westra

goines.info

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calvin westra

@himquail

6 months

@wolktress you can have it both ways. you can be open to sharing your humiliations and also train yourself to be impervious to waterboarding

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

i think about this story that i wrote while stoned and watching solaris more than i think about any other story i’ve ever written

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

five years ago you were mad about fluland, five days ago you were mad about joyce carol oates, five minutes ago you were mad about a hobart interview. imagine what you’ll be mad about tomorrow

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

@Delicious_Tacos $79 pdf that teaches you how to repel women

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 months

louis ferdinand celine’s work will change your life forever. his work takes 100s of hours to read. i’ve gone through it so you don’t have to. 11 ideas. 11 opportunities to upgrade your mind

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calvin westra

@himquail

7 years

what if experimental authors experimented with being more interesting and readable

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calvin westra

@himquail

1 year

bro you’re like bukowski. no not your writing just, your life is sad and you need help

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

i became a millionaire at 35. not because i was smart or the hardest worker. i became a millionaire because i broke society’s rules. here are all of the rules you need to break:

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

i’ll probably lose a bunch of followers for this and get myself cancelled but sometimes i buy two large coffees so i have one to spill all over my lap while i drive and still have one to spill all over my desk while i write

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

i once knew a guy who spent three thousand dollars a month on online iq tests

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calvin westra

@himquail

1 year

Christopher Allen

@Christopher_All

1 year

Print journal editors, what is your opinion about writers screenshotting their work and sharing on social media? This feels like an infringement on your publishing agreement, but I see so many writers doing it.

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

fucking told you the cover was sweet, didn’t i? the book is extremely good too. preorders are now available. you’re gonna love it i promise <3

Expat Press

@ExpatLitJ

2 years

This is what we’re about, this is who we are, chasing an emptiness that never dies. Thieves cloning keys, 3D printing souls— Donald Goines cannot be accessorized. A thermal banger instant classic dressed to the 9s in @sampinkisalive & @amerikanakia art.

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 months

@default_friend i will walk off a cliff before i ever stop being a spiritual lesbian

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calvin westra

@himquail

7 months

@birdbath we do a little pregaming it’s called we do a little pregaming

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

i really wrote a drug heist novel where nothing happens

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

firing a gun off in my neighborhood once every couple weeks to keep the rent from going up

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

if you’ve ever read a single word on misery tourism, expat, terror house etc unfollow me right now. tired of you psychopathic hate criminals dragging down my aura of love and light

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

i have a piece of weed smoker magical realism coming out on @xraylitmag this wednesday and i’m excited for ppl to read it

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

rest in peace john mcafee

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

every city is highly walkable if your home life is shitty enough

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calvin westra

@himquail

7 months

these are the only bookstores worth visiting

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

my office is like the louvre but with better art

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

we’ve been working on the cover for my book and let me tell you, it fucking rules

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calvin westra

@himquail

4 months

@owenbroadcast this is “guy who sleeps late but sometimes likes to do high risk stuff to see what happens and as a result has a mild fear of heights” erasure

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

i had a ton of fun writing this story and, i believe, you might have fun reading it

X-R-A-Y

@xraylitmag

2 years

"People bought whatever weed-adjacent garbage he was offering at whatever price he named. He could talk the sun into orbiting the earth, so long as he didn’t think about it too much." Do the math with @calvwest

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calvin westra

@himquail

7 months

i love that ppl act like this book is some serious act of literature. i read it in a sitting. pictures weren’t even that cool

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

reading bukowski on the train and writing “no ❤️” in all the margins so people know im cool and relatable

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

i used to have friends i had no contact info for. i would just like run into them around town

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 months

fuck around and find out how much i love you

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calvin westra

@himquail

4 years

no one: not one single person on earth: gen x: as the greatest generation of all time we will personally solve the corona virus. no one is more prepared or motivated to watch daria reruns and eat cans of soup. we are latchkey kids. we are warriors.

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calvin westra

@himquail

7 months

@morganobrien @Howlingmutant0 public service worker here, it isn’t true. we all hate ourselves and our work and it is a universe without joy that we inhabit

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calvin westra

@himquail

8 months

highlight of my year tbh

Ginevra Mancinelli

@theoneginevra

8 months

What’s the nicest thing anyone has said about your writing?

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calvin westra

@himquail

4 years

@Delicious_Tacos

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

lately my timeline is 90% accounts i don’t follow saying things like “water hits different when you’re thirsty” with 800 billion retweets

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calvin westra

@himquail

4 months

taylor swift should date someone from indie lit next. it’s the shot in the arm we desperately need

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

there’s no way my cats could build any of this shit

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

i robbed a bunch of old ladies. they are slower than the general population and rarely carry guns

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calvin westra

@himquail

1 month

day four of dressing up like a pig and stealings things tao lin buried in his yard

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calvin westra

@himquail

5 months

creating an alex perez bot that will ask, “will we ever men books read junot hemingway masculinity?” but just keep scrambling it more and more each time

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calvin westra

@himquail

7 months

indie lit is a precious and sweet group of likeminded thirty something alcoholics until you try to put out a gun poem book. then it’s questions of how many ppl you’ve personally gun murdered and whether or not your gf is a munitions expert

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

telling my kids this was manuel marrero

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

men will literally isolate from friends and family, self medicate, rationalize, write lengthy memoirs, endure unbearable psychic pain, speak to the tulpas they’ve created, lose all material possessions, live in the forest, and die of exposure instead of going to therapy

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calvin westra

@himquail

5 months

@GeebMinister no, the whole inside is nothing but jizz

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calvin westra

@himquail

8 months

i didn’t write my first novel until i was eleven. it’s never too late to start

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 months

man this book was incredible

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calvin westra

@himquail

1 year

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calvin westra

@himquail

13 days

been getting really into birdwatching

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calvin westra

@himquail

7 months

i’m basically writing degrassi but for adult alcoholics

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calvin westra

@himquail

6 months

here’s a lil dog discourse for you, indie style

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

i no longer feel safe on the internet, knowing the things that have been published on it

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

i started a nonprofit to help the poor and disenfranchised. when the donations started flowing in, i just kept them. nobody ever noticed

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calvin westra

@himquail

4 years

@oddeverything yeah, "come any closer and i shoot my wife," is maybe not ideal

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

proud to have written a book with zero sex scenes but more jacking off scenes than i can count on one hand

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 months

yeah i’m into dune. dune whatever the fuck i want

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

my tweets in a nutshell: i’m stoned, i’m writing, i’m stoned and writing, i hate my cats, i miss my dead cat, air bud is the only movie i’ve ever seen, i’m stoned and reading a book, buy family annihilator

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calvin westra

@himquail

4 months

i am looking for a publisher for my chapbook, “selected home addresses of writers who have talked shit about me online.”

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

working on a poem

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

if all your friendships are transactional, maybe you can’t understand people standing by others for “no good reason” other than it being the right thing to do

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

all this whiny lord of the rings bullshit and no one ever talks about the greatest tolkien adaptation of all time

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

i cheated on my taxes. when i got caught i snitched on everybody i knew who did crimes

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 months

[me, in the mood to get exactly three likes] i should post about my writing process

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

transgressive writing is when you're gay with your dad

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calvin westra

@himquail

6 months

merry christmas

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calvin westra

@himquail

7 months

abyss doesn’t even gaze back like it used to

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 months

just developed an internal monologue. any suggestions on stuff to think about?

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calvin westra

@himquail

8 months

@FleaDee @hankgreen you have a virus

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

lit magazine that mainly publishes manifestos and credible threats

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

man fuck everything. lizzie was the coolest person i’ve ever known

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calvin westra

@himquail

4 years

gardened barefoot today

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calvin westra

@himquail

2 years

got my copy

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calvin westra

@himquail

3 years

my book looks beautiful and if you buy it i will give you one (1) hug for free

Expat Press

@ExpatLitJ

3 years

The garden grows. Beauty’s on strike but this book is gonna change things. Family Annihilator by @calvwest , a few days late but still right on time to leave you in the dust for a few years. Leave it by your bedside for pleasant dreams, kiss for good luck: