Specialty gas doc (opinions own) frequently found playing a trombone. Dabbles on bass. Likes: brass playing, fountain pens, Radio 3 and old vinyl. Cat butler.
Moles and spillage; a thread (as I feel like I’m living in a sitcom.
So, I have a cat. He’s awesome.
Yesterday, said cat was taking an unusual interest in my lounge furniture.
This was because he’d brought in a live mole and let it run around in my house
Perhaps the best part of this is that it was never spoken of again. No attempt to explain. Neighbours must still wonder why that man, with an adequate house and lovely family, takes naked showers in the garden.
They just pass each other in the road and nod politely.
The mole thread (QT) got some love yesterday and many have asked what happened to the mole.
Here is the concluding part of the story, the moral of which is that you should ALWAYS trust your ODP.
They’re never wrong 🧵
Moles and spillage; a thread (as I feel like I’m living in a sitcom.
So, I have a cat. He’s awesome.
Yesterday, said cat was taking an unusual interest in my lounge furniture.
This was because he’d brought in a live mole and let it run around in my house
This being England, he just says “Afternoon” and carries on. And cat family equally wish him a “Good Afternoon” and go on their way.
He later discovers why they were in his garden.
Key lessons
1. Cats are bastards. Furry, adorable bastards.
2. Moles bite. Hard.
3. There’s no such thing as a free Costa
4. Chai latte is very hot & contains a lot of sugar
5. Always check for the presence of a shower prior to showering
6. Carry clean pants
<end>
Trying to master this mindful eating thing as part of losing a few pounds.
It’s particularly difficult after 20 years in the NHS; being able to eat an entire roast dinner in 23 seconds whilst standing up in a linen cupboard has been a core survival skill.
Suddenly he gets the sensation that he is being watched. He looks round and sees a vaguely familiar family from down the road holding a very stiff, very dead cat. And watching him perform his ablutions.
So, lovely gasdoc is working a lot in ITU with covid patients and has young children who don’t understand social distancing. His infection control strategy was to build an outdoor shower. He lives in rural location. Home, clothes off, outdoor shower, THEN hug the kids.
Dr Gasdoc gets home that evening after a busy, sweaty shift. He is unaware of cat incident. He strips naked and jumps into his outdoor shower (next to his perfectly adequate large house) and gets to work soaping the bits that men need to soap.
He purchased a shower cubicle of completely clear glass. Worked perfectly. He’d head home and decontaminate every evening. No one overlooking. All good.
Positioned an ITU patient for CXR , because teamwork.
Went to check film/line positions prior to board removal
Male radiographer (deliberately) “Go and get the DOCTOR to look at it”
🙄 “I AM the doctor...”
Him “Oh it’s just that you were <awkward pause> helpful?” 🤨
I was an ANP, already assessing and prescribing when I went to med school. Had been qualified 7 years.
I spent all 4 years of my GEP medicine course learning and working hard. Huge gaps in my knowledge, specialties I hadn’t seen, a new way of working.
No shortcuts to MBBS
I’m putting it out there: I don’t believe it takes 5 years to get a medical degree. And I do believe that you can learn on the job if you already have a clinical role. Doctors should be honest with themselves.
Was every minute of your degree spent in learning/working? Was…
One day his children went to play in the garden and sadly found a dead cat. They told their mum, who posted on a local group and the cat’s owners were found. They wanted to collect their cat and lay him to rest in their own garden.
I keep reading that Sajid was talking to nursing staff.
Unless y’all have an extended video clip or can super zoom in on badges, all I can see is that he was talking to female employees.
Female gender doesn’t equal nurse.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Non-medics might imagine the quest for consultancy brings dreams of wealth and status.
Most of us are actually dreaming of a locker and a swipe card that lets us through the doors.
The mole is back.
(I don’t know if it’s the same mole, people keep asking but my mole recognition skills are sub par)
But there is a mole in my house and I learn this while holding a very full, very hot cup of sweet frothy tea.
A decade or more of medical education and we’re still called “junior doctor” or “trainee”
Yet non-doctors are titled “advanced” “physician” “practitioner” “specialist”
No wonder we have scope creep when we adopt titles that belittle our education and professional status.
My perspective on AAs; a 🧵
I was an ANP before medical school and am now a specialty doctor in anaesthetics.
I work with 2 qualified AAs who are excellent,
I am often asked for my opinion given my background, so here it is a long thread including my own story.
14. “How is the cat?” I hear you ask.
Totally unphased by the entire process. Worn out by a day of mole catching and probably plotting what future mischief he can get up to.
This is the mole. Looks cute eh?
No.
I attempted to rescue the mole and sustained a bite from said mole. Ouch.
After some chasing I despatched said mole through the dining room door with the aid of a trombone stand.
16. Lessons from this sequel?
1. If an ODP gives you a piece of equipment, ALWAYS use it.
2. This applies even in a non-anaesthetic/mole catching scenario.
3. ODPs are the actual best.
<the end>
(although there are a lot of molehills outside…)
Currently caring for dad at home in his last days. Am humbled by the wonderful
@mariecurieuk
team that are helping us through this. Every single carer has been phenomenal; kind beyond words, patient, professional and human. An incredible charity. Thank you.
Well, if a doctor stupid enough to doubt vaccine science and express that opinion on nation television can manage to pass the FRCA, then there’s hope for the rest of us…
Rang GP for some prophylactic antibiotics, and after clarifying that being “bitten by a mole” meant, well, being bitten by a mole and not having been bitten in close proximity to a naevus I was sorted. Boom.
Off I went to work this morning.
What do I think about AAs?
I wish I’d been one.
I’d be at least £50k better off with amazing training. I’d be spending my life giving anaesthetics in daytime hours.
They’re living the dream while medics are in the bin. Medics must stay in the bin &
#BeKind
. Or else.
<ends>
I’ve had two short-haired male doctors mansplain me as to how I *should* have managed my long thick mop rather than buzzing it off.
Happily my hair will grow, but neither of those guys ever will...
Readers, it was not a touch panel.
It was a hole where the shower controls had been removed.
In fact the whole shower had been removed. Both showers, in both cubicles. Missing, presumed gone.
I am now naked and covered in sugary tea in a showerless shower cubicle.
One of our consultants said he couldn’t understand the concept of musical theatre as “people don’t just break into song at random points in their daily lives”
He hasn’t done a list with me yet...
<MASSIVE TEA SPILLAGE>
Did I mention it was hot? Damn it was hot.
Scrubs are now soaking and covered in white froth, and apparently I am steaming. Literally.
It was hot tea.
I limped down the corridor to get clean scrubs.
The basic cost of Mum’s nursing home will be £72,800 per annum.
This is nearly two and half times the salary of a fully qualified doctor (£29,384)
What say we all quit medicine and open a nursing home instead people?
I chose option 3, and apologised profusely to to other staff as I dived intermittently behind the curtain on their entry.
Ladies were very understanding as they too fully believed, as one would, that a shower cubicle might contain a shower.
I am now semi-clean and mostly dry, and in clean scrubs although sockless. Not just sockless, but the lack of socks is the most troublesome part.
I still have yet to return home and see what havoc a cat and mole have created before I carefully attempt to extricate the mole.
Being a relative is exhausting. Sitting and not being busy in a hospital is HARD.
So Ma got a manicure from me (am a short-nailed tomboy)
While I don’t think any nail bars are going to recruit me her hands once again look like her hands. ❤️
The spillage was visible, and apparently looked like vomit.
As it cooled and dried it was very sticky indeed. Grabbed a towel and some hibiscrub and headed to the showers.
I have 3 options:
1. Pick up sticky sodden clothes from hospital floor, re don and search for a shower
2. Put clean scrubs onto sticky self (it’s like I’ve been rolling in sticky bun icing)
3. Hop around trying to have a strip wash in the sink and hope no one comes in
Into the shower. Strip my cold, sodden, sticky clothing off and drop on hospital floor.
Tea had got the lot. Even socks. Everything.
Am naked in shower cubicle. Now, how to work shower, is it touch panel… I can’t…
Our place has kindly supplied free hot drink vouchers, and, it being the last day to redeem them I opted for a chai latte as a treat.
I sat down to enjoy my drink and popped open my blink app to see what the cat had been up to.
This was an error.
GP momentarily confused by triage note “bitten by a mole” and thought I’d been chomped in close proximity to a naevus.
“Please send picture of mole”
Me “Weird, but okay…”
11. I blink. I literally blink and the mole is in the tube.
I repeat; THE MOLE IS IN THE TUBE
This is not a drill.
No baiting. No waiting.
I hurriedly replace the top.
My heart pounds as I feel the surge of adrenaline.
Now, what does one do with a tube full of mole?
6. I stand looking at this giant tube.
It’s huge. I can’t take it home; it would be like carrying a bazooka…
But one of the cardinal rules of anaesthesia rings aloud in my head…
“If an ODP gives you a piece of equipment, use it”
Generous study leave allocation. Weekly dedicated tutorials.
It’s a trainee’s dream.
HEE (who you’ll recall, had no money for CT3 doctors) are suddenly sufficiently minted to fund thousands of AAs.
Those fools who took the long expensive route? Here’s the ICU bleep mate
If we speak up about this we are told to
#BeKind
. We are likened to drug dealers by Tory peers in the popular press.
We have no voice. We are accused of bullying, hatred, jealousy and privilege when we defend our career
(I admit to being jealous of their opportunities)
13. I wait until after dark. This seems an eternity knowing I have a tube full of mole. A shower helps pass the time.
I drive into countryside 2 miles away and release the mole.
It seems unbothered by the cat/tube incident and scuttles away in a moley sort of a way.
8. When work is done I take the tube home, but not in a “stand clear of the closing doors” kind of way for this is Dorset.
I begin searching for the mole. Can they climb stairs? I know daleks can’t. Yes they’re different but they have a similar scooting action, right?
While clearing mum’s house I discovered around 1000 colour slides from 1948-1966
Much scenery. A lot of a family shots.
But the finest of them all are the cat photos, which I shall share in a thread to brighten everyone’s timeline <begins>
If anyone has unlocked the secret of how to revise effectively while working 46+ hour weeks of constantly rotating shift patterns and completing assessments plus eating and sleeping could they let me know?
Or lend me a Time-Turner?
So much of resilience seems to learning to cope with other people being bellends.
So why we don’t focus less on “resilience training” and more on “not being an utter tool” training.
9. I locate the mole in the dining room. Perhaps seeking revenge on the trombone slide. Perhaps they’re a homing mole. I do not know.
I consider whether I should bait the tube, but what do moles eat?
“The Wind in the Willows” is the extent of my mole knowledge
This, Twitterati, is what happens when you let a Twitter poll decide on your haircut.
Thank you to the 155 of you who voted buzzcut.
I am enjoying have a wipe-clean covid secure head and man showers are incredible.
Normal mop will be back before the next gig.
3. My face shows my feelings. I update team on the lack of showers in the showers.
“There’s showers in the theatre changing room” a few add helpfully
I explain that streaking through hospital corridors a la Bubbles de Vere is probably frowned upon by infection control
10. I take the top of the tube off and place the enormous empty tube on the carpet.
I anticipate a long wait stalking out the mole in the manner of a wildlife documentary.
(Attenborough looks like he’s mole catching here, although I don’t advocate his mole slaps)
Dear PAs,
If you want to play Dr so badly, why don’t you just go to medschool & get a medical degree.
It’s that simple.
All of a sudden, you’ll be able to:
✅ prescribe
✅ refer
✅ request ionising radiation
✅ register with the GMC
✅ become a member of a royal college
✅ &…
5. She returns a minute or so later with a huge cardboard tube, taller than some of my colleagues.
“That’s what you need” she says in a very matter-of-fact way
“What?” I exclaim
“That’s what you need. To catch a mole” she adds, nonchalantly
She returns to her ODP duties.
7. My clogs rub my sweaty, sugary feet as I stare at this tube and ponder my situation.
I would be a fool to ignore the advice of an ODP, but I was not aware their skill set extended to rodent capture.
I decide my day cannot get more ridiculous so I go with the tube plan.
2. It is 31st May 2022. I am still slightly sticky but dressed (albeit commando and sockless) in clean scrubs following the “no showers in the showers” incident.
I limp back round to theatres to update those who had found me scrubs in the middle of the day (an NHS miracle)
The AAs I work with are top notch colleagues and I feel for how they have been affected by social media.
But I can’t stand by and pretend that there aren’t hundreds of anaesthetists far more scarred by the pandemic and series of clusterf*cks in recruitment and exams.
@DrCamSpence
There is a paw-shaped outline of mixed fur density located to the posterolateral side of the televisual shadow. Clinical correlation is advised.
Long story, was planning a cat anyway, impetuous tendencies, and a local kitten who got let down at an opportunistic moment, but yesterday Percy Pussy came to live with me...
There may be much cat spam on my timeline now
12. I don’t have an ODP with me by with this point so, with capture achieved I use the interwebs to learn about mole habits.
“Very territorial” it says “can find their way home over more than a mile” it says.
Time to fire up the Quattro (it’s an A3 but anyway)
The post night shift PTWR has deterred many potential physicians from becoming medics, and continues to do so.
No one needs an end of shift ward round when they’re tired and broken
4. Resigned to my drafty attire I then update everyone on the general “mole loose in my house 22 miles away” situation.
One of the many wonderful ODPs potters away. I assume she has important work things to be doing.
Hundreds of us (who were pretty demoralised anyway) feeling that our years of study and tens of thousands pounds worth of debt have all been a bit of a waste of time.
We invested all that time and money to get a far worse training programme than if we’d become AAs.
Phone call to O&G trainee about the running of the emergency list
“Sorry, we’ve just started a long plastics case, labourer with a hand injury”
<long pause from O&G>
“Wow, ouch, how did she injure her hand in labour??”
🤦🏼♀️
Does anyone else find “mobilise” really annoying.
“Pt is mobilising around the ward”
No, they’re walking
“How do you mobilise??”
Do you mean, how do I walk?
“It’s affecting her mobilisation”
No, it’s affecting her mobility.
I think we should ban the word mobilise
I often wish I didn’t actually enjoy being an anaesthetist.
It would so much easier for me to walk away and do something else if I didn’t enjoy it.
But it’s probably the best job in the world. So I’m screwed.
Delighted to have secured a CT3 anaesthetic post in the excellent Dorset County Hospital for February.
This, combined with a lovely week of ENT/dental/airway & paediatric cases has made for a fantastic week in anaesthesia - still the best job in the world!
Instead let us put AAs into context.
A workforce that gets 2 years of supernumerary anaesthetic experience without oncall duties. No ICU. No obs. Just anaesthetising patients.
Fully funded on a reg salary with all exams paid for.
Amazing.
ESR from old trust just gets binned when you move. I detest how fragmented the NHS is. It is horrendous for junior doctors rotating.
My job is the best job in the world, but for the worst employer.
Devastated to tell you all that my beautiful, kind, hilarious and wonderful mum passed away very peacefully yesterday afternoon.
She went for a nap after lunch and didn’t wake up.
She really was the best mum I could have wished for and so full of love.
I’m broken.
Elective surgery is still mainly a mystery to me.
I had to admit a couple of weeks ago that I’d never seen a tonsillectomy.
“How?” the ICU team exclaimed
(Had they forgotten how covid f*cked us?)
“Because I’m an anaesthetist despite my training, not because of it” I said.
1) A thread of cute to brighten your Tuesday and like hedgehogs
So, I’m about to buy my first tiny house. A lovely lady has lived there for 20 years and sent me a letter welcoming me, and offering to leave me her lawnmower, and telling about the garden visitors....
The 4th rule of anaesthesia is that if an ODP offers you a piece of equipment you should take it and use it.
Twitter, I was a sceptic, but the Polkinghorn mole catcher thrust upon me worked a treat.
Look, no bites!
Now, where do I release the mole?
One of the best bits of night shifts is when the day staff arrive and the smell of lovely cleanliness and showers and products hits you. Not overwhelming, just clean and nice.
It’s always a lovely moment.
Absolute binfire of a night shift watching the good ship NHS sinking slowly while the band plays on…
In the morning the canteen was being refurbished so I couldn’t get breakfast.
I had a jam doughnut (gifted by consultant) instead. It contained no jam.
FML
I lost 4 years of band 7 pay, 4 years of pension, paid £9k a year in tuition fees plus accommodation and living expenses in London etc.
There were sacrifices, but it was worth it, right?
I completed foundation and secured a place on anaesthetic training in Feb 2020, aged 41
I have been reminded that it is exactly 10 years since I left a career as a senior nurse - complete with Princess Leia hairdo - to go to medical school and retrain as a doctor.
While my time at St George’s was epic, it’s been an expensive adventure…
Was it worth it? 🤷🏻♀️