FakeJoeBiden @fake_biden Twitter profile

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Who. Did. This?

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Hilary Clinton is now officially the undisputed champion of “I Told You So” for all time.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Brilliant move by the mayor of Martha’s Vineyard, sending a bus load of books to Florida. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Hitler didn’t rise to power because everyone supported him. He rose to power because some people supported him, others opposed him, and a huge group said, “oh I don’t care, I don’t follow politics.”

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Wow. Rick Wilson just called Matt Gaetz a whiny bitch on national tv. 🤣

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

The Wisconsin GOP has just banned teaching about the Green Bay Packers loss in schools.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

I’m still trying to wrap my head around Lauren Boebert tweeting “this is 1776” and apparently not understanding that if this was 1776 she wouldn’t be allowed to vote for another 144 years because she’s female.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Sometimes being a mom in America means you have to clock out early from work, resist arrest, escape handcuffs, jump fences, break into a locked down school, evade cops, defy federal agents and avoid active shooters just to pick up your kids from school.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

Omg Brian Williams just signed off by saying from the majesty of Yo-sem-ite to the tropics of Thigh-land, goodnight.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

If Brett Kavanaugh finds that a mob of angry protesters interrupting his dinner is inevitable then he should just lay back and try to enjoy it.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

My 17 year old daughter informed me she will be walking out of school, in solidarity with women and in protest of this Supreme Court draft decision, today at noon. I told her I’d expect nothing less from a child of mine.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 months

Elon Musk has once again nuked the account of a regular American for voicing dissent against Nazis. He really is the world’s biggest fucking bitch.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Any time Matt Gaetz tweets just respond with his senior photo. 😎

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

1 year

The Texas mall mass shooter was kicked out of the military specifically because the military felt he was too crazy to have a weapon. So of course Texas let him have all the guns he wanted.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

I think we should retire the Presidential Medal of Freedom. It’s completely worthless now.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

I’m not a golfer. Is it normal to have dead bodies buried on the golf course? Or is that just a mob boss thing?

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

In a normal world, the fact that yesterday Lauren Boebert’s husband got into an altercation with everyone in the neighborhood and ran his truck over a neighbor’s mailbox in anger, would be the biggest story in politics today.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Breaking News: When trump said we’d never see him again if he lost the election, he lied.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

I just called all my GOP family members and asked them if I can have their $1400 check since I’m a democrat and their side didn’t vote for them to get any money. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Holy shit Sean Hannity is an actual traitor to the USA.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

My kid recently came out as gay so in our house we don’t say Florida.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Congratulations to Bill Stepien who’s wife set a World Record for longest labor ever, at 872 hours and counting. They’re gonna name the baby Subpoena Avoidance Stepien. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

As a guy who did 10 years in the federal system I can tell you that these suburban people headed to federal prison for sedition and insurrection are in for a bit of a culture shock. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND FAR LEFT PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO VOTE FOR BIDEN BECAUSE HE ISNT PURE ENOUGH OR WHATEVER. YOURE GONNA RE-ELECT A GAME SHOW HOST ON CRACK. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Good lord are you guys seeing these videos of Roger Stone? Dude was selling pardons for $100,000, on camera, on tape. Jesus.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Breaking: Arbery Family vows to bring 100 black pastors to court with them on Monday. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Kyle Rittenhouse is finding out that living with yourself after you’ve murdered two people and gotten away with it, isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

8 months

He tried to overthrow the duly elected government of the USA. Fuck him and fuck his family.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that six Russian oligarchs and all their family members and a Deutsche Bank whistleblower and his son all got Epsteined at the same time.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Does anyone know if Rudy Giuliani succumbed to his wounds or is he still clinging to life? He’s a fighter, that one. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Breaking: Huntington Beach closed due to solar power and wind energy spill. Wait. *checks notes* I mean oil. It’s an oil spill.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Wait. Hunter Biden purchased a gun without telling the gun salesman he had smoked cannabis in the past? Well that is obviously just as bad as inciting an insurrection, staging a coup, and stealing classified nuclear documents.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

I’m gonna go on truth social and tell the MAGAts over there that the FBI took Hunter Biden’s Laptop out of Trump’s safe and gave it to JFK Jr to hide in the basement of Ping Pong Pizza. BRB.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Trump had the CIA NOC List. At Mar a Lago. That’s bad. That’s very, very bad. ☠️

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

My 4 year old niece says trump is guilty of licking doody. I tried to tell her it’s dereliction of duty. But she’s pretty adamant about it and I’m tired of arguing.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

As of 7 minutes ago, it is now officially against the law in Florida for teachers to teach that slavery was bad.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

@StaceyCKs1 @CannotReality I did that too. In Maple Valley, Washington. A cop was harassing a homeless man who was black. I pulled up and told the cop to either make a lawful arrest or go away. He told me to get a job. I told him I’m a cannabis merchant by trade but today my job is policing the police. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

If Rand Paul doesn’t like being yelled at, then he really wouldn’t like being Black and going for a jog.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Shoutout to Major League Baseball for refusing to hold the All star game in Atlanta unless Georgia abandons its voter suppression efforts. ⚾️

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

Never a dull moment around here. My daughter just returned from town. She and her friends were accosted in the parking lot of the store by 10 teenaged MAGAts with Trump flags. They surrounded her car and tried to get her to fight them. I just drove up there and had them arrested.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 months

Elon Musk is such a little bitch.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Dear Fox News, My grandfather just died alone b/c grandma can’t visit him in the hospital because of covid because of your misinformation campaign that they listened to all day every day. You not only killed your customer, his wife couldn’t say goodbye. After 75 years marriage.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Terrible day. I had to be rushed to the emergency room. Marijuana overdose. Said no one. Ever. 😎

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Just so we are all clear, Clarance and Ginni Thomas are actively trying to overthrow the US government on behalf of a political party who just yesterday said it should be illegal for the two of them to be married.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Delta Airlines: Can we find another term besides the “delta variant” please? Corona Beer: Oh fuck you.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

I think Gavin Newsom just put insulin makers either out of business or severely on notice. They gonna have to compete with the state of California now. And California will offer their product at cost. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

It’s MLK day and MLK’s family is calling out Kyrsten Sinema, by name, as the person who is blocking voting rights for millions of black Americans.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

Fun Fact: There isn’t a single atheist anywhere in America who is OK with putting kids in cages. But there sure are a lot of SO CALLED Christians who seem to be fine with it. 😀

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Has anyone considered the possibility that God sent covid to get rid of right wing talk radio?

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Does it surprise you to know that the state with the most rapes every year, with over 14,000 a year, is Texas. Number one in America in rape. Every year.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

If you completely ignore literally everything else Donald trump has ever done, you can still arrest him right now just for the crimes he committed on television tonight. He just offered pardons to terrorists who vote for him. That’s a crime. Arrest him. Right now. #ArrestTrumpNow

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

There are ten MAGAt families in my neighborhood who are all on their way right now to pick up their kids from juvie. After they left I altered all their yard signs with tRump’s sharpie.😃 😎💬project mayhem is a go.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

DeSantis has released a new civics curriculum for Florida public schools that includes teaching kids Christian fundamentalism & teaching kids that slavery wasn’t so bad & the founding fathers were actually AGAINST the separation of church & state. I’m not making that up. 😐

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

Come to the dark side. Join the shadow people. We have minestrone.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Remember when the secret service said Cassidy Hutchinson was a liar and that the secret service would be taking the stand under oath soon to refute her testimony? And then they didn’t? And instead they erased their text messages requested by the inspector general? Treasonous.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Who did this? 😎

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Watch to the end. Trust me. 😎💬She went there.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Super excited because I just had a bowl of peanut butter Captain Crunch for breakfast and the secret toy surprise inside was a presidential medal of freedom. 🎖

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

EVERY. WORD. OF. THIS.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

Getting pretty sick of hearing Americans say if trump wins we’re going to Canada or Mexico. How bout go to fucking Washington DC?

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

I already forgot about Larry Elder. I used to know who he was. But now I don’t recall. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 months

This is seriously the craziest fucking thing I’ve ever seen on X. The world’s richest man is a total fucking psychopath.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Who wore it better?

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Yeah, teenage girls holding signs saying please don’t make us into livestock is exactly the same thing as a violent insurrection, according to the State of Arizona.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Adam Kinzinger just said fuck on national tv.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

I don’t care what they say. This is day 37 of no tobacco and I am STILL feeling the full effects of the withdrawal. This shit never stops.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

It snowed here today. 😎

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

@DonaldJTrumpJr Buddy. My family has been here since 1647. If you’re suggesting we aren’t patriotic, then I’ve gotta ask you: which American wars have the Trump’s fought in? Because we’ve fought in all of them. Your family did what? Bombed our own bases in Syria? You aren’t patriotic. You’re not

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

1 year

My state, named after George Washington, has banned Assault Rifles. Fuck you, NRA. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

@AnneFromMaine @cartoons_mad Give him a replacement. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

1 year

Elon Musk literally looked at the world and decided the best thing he could do with 44 billion dollars was to make sure Nazi voices were being heard.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

We need a law that says if you think the election you lost was rigged, you have 30 days to present your evidence to a court of law and if you lose your legal challenge then you go to prison for 10 years and can NEVER seek public office again. Enough of this bullshit.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Breaking: Jim Breuer and Nikki Minaj to hold concert for unvaccinated Trinidadians with enormous balls.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

I still don’t understand why Joe Biden didn’t just say the vaccine is for democrats only and republicans can’t have any. That way, republicans would’ve demanded to be vaccinated immediately and we wouldn’t have this issue with hesitation or flat out refusal to take the vaccine.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Is it wrong to spray paint a large white Z on my MAGA neighbor’s jeep? Asking for someone who definitely didn’t already do that.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Raising the price of the EPIPEN from $7 to $800 is literal insanity.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Breaking: Virginia just changed its name to Karen.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

No tobacco. Day 150. 😎

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Sources close to Sarah Palin say she’s highly annoyed that trump kept referring to her as “Lauren Boebert’s Grandma.”

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

You wanna know the price of gasoline? The earth. It’s costing us the earth.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

If you are not blocked by James Woods then you are not #resisting hard enough.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Ok WTF is going on? I just got text messages from 3 different Fox News personalities begging me to back off.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

6 months

You realize Donald Trump literally murdered his best friend to keep him from telling the public about trump’s raping of underage girls, right?

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

Ivanka Trump had at least one abortion. And that’s fine. Except her dad took away that right from literally everyone else. So that’s extremely fucked up.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

4 years

Is now a good time to remind everyone that Eric Trump tried to evade a subpoena by claiming he was too busy with his father’s campaign and now all campaign events are cancelled and Eric must appear to answer the subpoena on Monday?

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Who. Did. This?

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Lauren Boebert’s district is vaccinated at a much lower rate than the rest of her state and the hospitals in her district are at capacity with covid patients. That’s not a joke. That’s people literally dying of stupidity.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

1 year

Only my followers can see my tweets for the next 12 hours. I’m being punished for insulting the owner of twitter.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

WHY THE FUCK IS ORANGE HITLER ALLOWED TO WALK AROUND MY COUNTRY HOLDING MOTHERFUCKING ORANGE HITLER RALLIES? EITHER HE IS A CRIMINAL OR HE ISN’T. IF HE IS, ARREST HIM. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, MERRICK GARLAND?

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

I had a joke about Larry Elder but I can’t recall it.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

I am not crying. You’re crying.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Who wore it better?

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

SEAN HANNITY IS A RUSSIAN ASSET AND A TRAITOR TO AMERICA. 😃

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

@AZKellyT Respectfully, Christians need Jesus. America needs the separation of church and state.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

2 years

The thing you need to know about student debt cancellation is that Donald trump violated the espionage act and engaged in a seditious conspiracy and attempted a coup and colluded with Russia and obstructed Justice and committed treason.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

When you borrow your teenage daughter’s car to go on a beer run and realize too late that there’s only one mask in it. 😷💬🦄 🌈 💕 ‼️

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

This is the 22 year old woman who tried to sell Nancy Pelosi’s laptop to Russian Intel. And I’m the 48 year old man who’s here to tell you that shit like that doesn’t happen in my country without me finding out about it. 😎💬Riley June Williams, return the Speaker’s property.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

My 16 year old wanted to get her septum pierced and I said no so she got a fake one and she’s keeping a super good attitude about it and now I feel like a Nazi dad. I’m not a Nazi dad, right? She’s only 16 and that stuff is permanent. Not against it. Just think she should wait.

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FakeJoeBiden

@fake_biden

3 years

Day 20. I’m finally a real non smoker. Tobacco free. And nicotine free too. 😃

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