Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings Twitter profile

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Thoughts of Dog

6 years

sometimes. the human presses their noggin against mine. to figure out what i’m thinking. so i just think really hard. about how much i love them. and hope they figure it out

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

i wasn’t a good dog today april fools. i was so good

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@dog_feelings

4 years

the human has been working from home the last couple days. and every so often. they let me participate in the video calls. all the other humans cheer when they see me. i am the only thing holding their company together

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

today. i wasn’t a very good dog april fools. i was so good

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@dog_feelings

2 years

SOMEONE LEFT A FULL PLATE OF COOKIES. AND A GLASS OF MILK. RIGHT BY THE FIREPLACE FOR ME. I AM NOT KIDDING. WHAT A NIGHT

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

6 years

today. i wasn’t a very good dog april fools. i was so good

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

6 years

i had a long talk. with my fren. about how to spot. a fake ball throw. the optimal strategy. is to follow the ball. with your eyes. instead of your heart

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

3 years

you are tough. you are scary. you are a good boy. but also a scary one. if the situation calls for it

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

the best thing i did. this entire decade. was love you

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

there are no rules these days. i didn’t even put my collar on today. just walked around the house naked

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

6 years

the human has only smiled once today. it was when i rolled over. with my feets in the air. and sneezed. it wasn’t on purpose. but they seemed to really enjoy it. so since then. i’ve been lying on my back. desperately trying to sneeze

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@dog_feelings

2 years

today. i wasn’t a very good dog april fools. i was so good

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@dog_feelings

3 years

i wasn’t a good dog today april fools. i was so good

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

i forgot to tell the human. what i wanted for christmas. but that’s okay. it’s hard to wrap a hug

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

the human is fast asleep. but i jumped on their bed. and cuddled close. to remind them that i love them. because the nighttime is long. and i’m worried they might forget

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

occasionally during our walks. someone will pass us. and completely ignore my human. but whisper hello to me. i really enjoy this

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

occasionally. the freezer will provide crunch water. this is way better than regular water. because of the crunch

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

gooooob morning. i helped walk the small neighbor human. to the bus at the end of the street. i tried to get on with them. but was quickly denied. they know that with an education. i’d be too powerful

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

6 years

every time i get brushed. i have to take my collar off. the human always laughs. and says that i’m naked. but joke’s on them. i’m very confident in my body

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

6 years

on our walk today. i tried to say hello to a person passing by. but they backed away. and continued on. without so much as a smile. the human later explained. that not everyone is going to like me. and i need to be okay with that. but here’s the thing.. i’m not okay with that

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

2 years

THE HUMAN JUST GRABBED THEIR KEYS. AND MY LEASH. THEY ARE PUTTING ON. THEIR OUTSIDE FEET. I DO BELIEVE. IT IS ADVENTURE TIME

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

i like to leave as much of my hair. around the house as possible. it is my confetti. i am a party

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

if you start leaving the house again. who will be around to say. ohhh big stretch. every time i do a stretch

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@dog_feelings

4 years

there are many humans in the household right now. and they all seem to have snacks. so i’m going to convince each and every one of them. that i have not eaten. in several weeks

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@dog_feelings

4 years

the human came home today. with a new stuffed fren for me. they called it a koala. and as they knelt down to hand it over. they mentioned it could use. all the love i have right now

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@dog_feelings

4 years

surround yourself. with those who would flip your ear back for you. if it ever went inside out

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@dog_feelings

4 years

personally. i don’t think you should set off fireworks. for any reason ever

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@dog_feelings

5 years

we went to a new park today. and right at the entrance. was a big bucket of tennis balls with a little sign. that the human said was there in memory of a very good dog. who really liked tennis balls. and that i could play with one. to help that very good dog be remembered

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

the human seems distracted. so i put my paw on their knee. and now they know. that whatever it is. we’re in it together

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

nobody ever told me. when you wake up from a nap. you can immediately start another one. that was something i figured out. all by myself

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

at the park today. i noticed the human glancing at another human. so i made my way over. and sat on their foot. forcing my human to come apologize for me. i am a matchmaker

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@dog_feelings

5 years

i know there’s bad in the world. and it would be silly. to pretend it isn’t there. but for now here’s my leash. and a few licks on your hand. to convince you that one day. we will be alright

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

sometimes. the human needs a break from the world. so i grab my leash. drop it in their hand. and we take a walk. where all we have to focus on. is putting one paw in front of the other

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@dog_feelings

5 years

i was told. whenever a square car with sirens passes by. they are on their way to help. so i always howl along. to let everyone know. i’m helping too

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@dog_feelings

5 years

i would like more frens. so i have made a list of my best qualities. for your consideration 6. am fluffy 1. can jump (and sit) C. sometimes i sneeze i look forward. to hearing from you

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

sometimes. i'll lean against your leg. and it's not because. i'm afraid to lose my balance. it's just that. i'm afraid to lose you

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

i had been asleep several hours. when the human decided to wake me up with a hug. that’s no problem. it’s what i’m here for

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

i found a really good stick. but i chewed it too hard. and it broke in half. which was disappointing until i realized. now i have two sticks. today has been. an emotional roller coaster

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

it is the human’s first time trying to change the world. and they are exhausted. so while they rest for a little bit. i have stolen their sign. and will trot proudly around the house with it. until they are ready. to fight again

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

gooooob morning. i’m being told. someone came down the chimney last night. this is preposterous. i would’ve lost my mind

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@dog_feelings

5 years

we were at the store today. and i found a stuffed penguin that i really fancied. i tried to carry it out. but was stopped before the exit. i am not a criminal. i just have no money

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

WE ARE AT THE PARK. BUT THE HUMAN SAYS IT’S TIME TO LEAVE. WHICH DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. BECAUSE THEY CAN’T CATCH ME

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@dog_feelings

5 years

gooooob morning. the human made me a pancake. in the shape of a heart. it tasted similar to a circle pancake. but meant a lot more

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@dog_feelings

6 years

the human hasn’t smiled much today. and i’m not sure why. but i have a squeaker toy that looks like a cupcake. and i am coming. to the rescue

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@dog_feelings

5 years

i hear a noise. i think it’s the garaGE DOOR. IT IS THE GARAGE DOOR. THE HUMAN IS HOME. AND MY FEETS. THEY ARE A TIPPY TAPPIN

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

2 years

do not start. with those sky booms. i don’t like them. and you don’t deserve them

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@dog_feelings

6 years

the human went out. to have fun with some frens. they promised they’d be back soon. so i’m not worried at all. and in the meantime. i found an old jacket. that smells like they’re still here. it will be my new bed. until they return

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@dog_feelings

5 years

gooooob morning. i’m going to need a lot of attention today. i can just tell

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@dog_feelings

5 years

i will love you. for all eternity. and in return. could you please wipe away my eye boogers

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@dog_feelings

4 years

i decided that today. is bring your human to work day. we stared out the window for hours. and they helped me spot the cars. it was magical

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@dog_feelings

4 years

i worked. so. hard. to get the squeaker out of that toy. and you just. threw it away

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@dog_feelings

5 years

sometimes. i’ll pretend i need to tell you a secret. but when you lean in close. i’ll lick your ear instead. i am a master of deception

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@dog_feelings

5 years

i went outside one more time before bed. the human kept calling me. but the stars look so nice right now. if i sit and enjoy them long enough. the human will have no choice. but to come out. and enjoy them with me

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

i just found out. that not everything is about me. and i’m devastated. to say the least

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

there is a tree. growing inside the house. it wasn’t here earlier. but it’s here now. the human doesn’t seem concerned. so i think its our family now. he will be my veggie fren. and i shall call him steven

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

6 years

my ball rolled under the couch. and i cannot reach it. the human has been informed of the issue. and reminded. that my problems. are their problems

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

if you leave the room i’m in. i will always follow you to the next one. whatever this adventure is. you don’t have to do it alone

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

i have spent the whole day. watching the human make a gingerbread house. the final touch. was a little icing dog. staring out one of the windows. now it’s a gingerbread home

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

i may have gotten bigger. but my desire to be held. has remained constant

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@dog_feelings

5 years

the human worked all day. so we didn’t spend much time together. this upsets them more than anything. because who knows how long any of us have. but they’re here now. and i really hope they realize. all i need. is for them to hold my paw. until i fall asleep

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

i have finally narrowed it down. to a few possible reasons. the human is home all the time now 4. can’t stand being away from me c. loves me so much 1. my presence is a gift

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

6 years

i took a little trip. to the school down the road. and waited very patiently. as the human checked some boxes. to try and change the world

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

gooooob morning. i was told that this year. is the year of the belly rub. please don’t look that up. you can trust me

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

gooooob morning. i think today. i’ll lie on the porch. with my front paws crossed. and let the sun shine on my face through the trees. occasionally i will rollover. so it shines on my belly. nobody will stop me. because i deserve this

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@dog_feelings

5 years

the human just came home. smelling like another dog. this isn’t a problem. i’m totally not upset. if anybody needs me. i’ll be over here. wondering what i ever did to deserve this

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@dog_feelings

3 years

no thoughts today. only float

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5 years

the small neighbor human. goes back to school tomorrow. so we spent the whole day together. doing our favorite things. i understand education is important. but here’s the thing. so am i

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@dog_feelings

6 years

exactly one year ago. a package arrived for me. and little did i know. that inside. would be the very best stuffed fren. anyone could ever ask for. happy birthday sebastian

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@dog_feelings

6 years

WE’RE GOING ON A HIKE. AND I’M CARRYING MY TRAVEL BOWL. IN CASE OF THIRST. BUT I HAVE To keep stopping. and looking back. because the human is slow. and i am speedy

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@dog_feelings

4 years

gooooob morning. i know you’ve got a lot going on right now. so i wanted to mention. i think you’re doing great

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5 years

i know you have a lot going on right now. so i just want to say. i think you’re doing great

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5 years

THE GARAGE DOOR IS OPENING. THE HUMAN IS HOME. THE WEEKEND HAS BEGUN. PLEASE HELP. I CAN’T STOP SPINNING

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@dog_feelings

5 years

if you see me sitting outside a store. being all good. while my human shops inside. you must come pat my noggin. that’s the law

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

6 years

the human said. they might make pancakes in the morning. so the faster i fall asleep. the sooner i get a pancake. as you can imagine. it’s hard to snoozle. under so much pressure

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

my tail is blurry. and my feets. are a tippy tappin

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@dog_feelings

5 years

gooooob morning. there is a box. underneath my tree fren steven. that smells like peanut butter. i am trying my best. to remain calm. but i think it’s for me

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@dog_feelings

5 years

i was lying on the couch. all snuggled up with the human. when they got up and left the room. it’s like they don’t know. that without attention. i will explode

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@dog_feelings

4 years

in case you forgot. i love you

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@dog_feelings

3 years

rest easy Halo

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@dog_feelings

4 years

the small neighbor human came over. with an early gift for me. it was a little locket for my collar. and inside was a pebble. they said they picked it up. the first time they went on a walk with me. i would do anything. for the small neighbor human

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

3 years

i heard there is a ball dropping later. does anybody have the details? i am interested in that

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@dog_feelings

5 years

hi. if you would like to cuddle. i certainly wouldn’t oppose

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@dog_feelings

5 years

gooooob morning. the first time you wake up. could be a mistake. it’s best to fall back to sleep. just to be safe

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@dog_feelings

5 years

there was a sandwich. on the edge of the counter. and now there isn’t. those are all the details. we can confirm so far. the piece of lettuce on my nose. is purely circumstantial

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@dog_feelings

5 years

the human keeps a picture of me. on the front of their little computer. so they can show everyone they meet. wherever they go. just how beautiful i am

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

the human had another video call today. but this time. they put me in front of the screen. gave me their headset. and walked away. it may have been a joke to them. but this is exactly the promotion. i have been waiting for

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@dog_feelings

4 years

it is really cool. that this year. i was given a whole extra day to love you

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@dog_feelings

5 years

WE ARE GOING TO THE BEACH. I CAN SMELL THE OCEAN. I’M GOING TO EAT THE SAND

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

6 years

one time. i was having a nightmare. and the human noticed. so they held my paw. to make sure i knew. everything was going to be okay

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@dog_feelings

5 years

apparently. we lost an entire hour of sleep the other night. which is rude. so to get my revenge. i will be sleeping all day every day. for the rest of the year

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

i did not get much sleep last night. because of your sky booms. to make up for this. i will be extending all snoozles. by 15 percent. for the rest of the year

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

gooooob morning. i am already very tired. so i really think. we should all try again tomorrow

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

4 years

i made a list. of reasons you should hang out with me today 4. i am fun c. i am soft 2. i will listen. to your silly human problems 8. you can pick the snacks a. i love you

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

6 years

the human is hosting a get together this evening. and i am told there will be snacks. so my goal. will be to convince every single guest. that i have not eaten. in several weeks

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

to be perfectly clear. i love you

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

we were in the car. stopped at a grey light. when i accidentally dropped my stuffed fren sebastian out the window. the human saved him. and as far as i could tell. nobody in the cars around us. seemed to mind the delay

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Thoughts of Dog

@dog_feelings

5 years

the human went out tonight. and i hope they’re having fun. but i can’t fall asleep. until they’ve returned safe and sound. so for the sake of my snoozle. please hurry home

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@dog_feelings

6 years

sometimes. i’m inside. and want to go outside. but as soon as the human opens the door. i change my mind. this is not my fault. i am a fluid. yet increasingly complicated soul

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@dog_feelings

6 years

if your day didn’t go well. that’s perfectly fine. because now you get to dream. and who knows what could happen. i hope i dream i’m a penguin. so i can zoom on my belly

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@dog_feelings

5 years

so sorry to interrupt. but i hope all your dreams come true

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