FunnyJoke ComedyMan @butt_sword Twitter profile

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

can of soda to cold.... microwave

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 months

keeping an eye on this guy... asking some good questions

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

25 days

the target subreddit is getting good again

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

1 month

hmmmm this is very important to me ... girlhood transcends cultures etc

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 months

putting two rice in my rice cooker for 8 hours and relaxing

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 years

wearing this to therapy

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

so are you ..you know *mimes cuffing jeans* bisexual?

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

i shit my pants one leg at a time just like everyone else

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

25 days

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

what yall think

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

the only pet name I will allow

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

7 years

old person: you buy pants with HOLES already IN THEM?? hooOOOO whatTT!! me: you ruined any chance i had at home ownership

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 months

@bigkirbyfan LOL WAIT YOURE RIGHT

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

@mixedgrass blimey

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

what if trump blacks out his avi lmao

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

everyone is so horny and likes poetry....go get in a fight in a waffle house parking lot instead of That

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 months

@rachelmillman second video made me lose my breath i haven't had to hear someone speak like that in like a decade

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

remember Baron's big tiddie cave lady painting lol

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 months

@_mrpussy

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

gonna start dressing in such a way that it becomes immediately clear that I am the protagonist

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 years

puto

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

i cannot stop thinking about this

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

@Coll3enG @voidedpolaroid mine said I had a "shy cervix" I was like Jane it's bc you're touching her

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

Pick-up culture is so gross If a man ever tried to pick me up I would simply bisect him with a scimitar and be on my way

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

8 years

when ur bagel betrays the realm

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

our work phones share a Google account so everything we search shows up on everyone's phones

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 months

@mixedgrass666 im sorry you went viral again and have to see the replies

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

9:38pm post smooth Yoda

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

7 years

while you jacked off to anime i studied the blade....and also i jacked off to anime

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

ohhh man im slapping my hog so hard to this

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

if I sell like 6 pictures of my ass I can go on vacation

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

thinking about thos beans

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 years

dog why is this my loaner car from the mechanic 😭

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

me asking my friends for weed

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

2 years

getting arrested for replying "die ugly" to my student loan company

NPR

@NPR

2 years

Debt collectors can now text, email or contact you on social media to seek repayment under new rules approved by the Consumer Financial Prorection Bureau.

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

diarrhea is simply the jizz of the ass, most don't realize this

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

here's my impression of someone who eats apples: mmm! i love biting into firm, wet styrofoam

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

laughing my ENTIRE ass off HR just came up and said "thank you for all your hard work" and handed me this

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

get the fuck away from my prius

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

every joke about a dad getting to an airport is me. all of it i am a father of 4 teens and im getting nervous diarrhea and getting to the airport MINIMUM 2 hours early

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

people always making noises. stop

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

2 years

@galaxiaskykloz women must stop having sex with men they don't like, you simply don't need to do this!!!

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

7 years

the dream: be married but have two geodesic domes connected by a hallway and live separately mostly

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

when you learn to live with your mental illnesses

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 months

@BUNNlCULA this is exactly how I talk after one beer I understand her

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

hey guys i wasn't showing restraint by not tweeting all day, i just got suspended for telling gods honest truth like any good christian would

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

Look at what I almost stepped on

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

thinking about long neck avocados..........boy that's really something

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

i'd hate being catholic i'd really have to go in there like "please father forgive me for i have sinned: i keep calling old ladies who cut me off in traffic 'hoes' and everyone else 'dip ass' though i know not what that means"

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

if it's an "everything" bagel wheres the piss and shit huh

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

8 years

damb mom,,.,cold

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

1 year

i think people who claim they can't see a realistic apple in their minds are making it up for attention

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

7 years

me when i see pirogies on sale at the co op

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

here's some free content

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

7 years

does anyone know what my problem is

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

@kristanicolie @_azgaby I am a Capricorn and that's why I'm not getting a response

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

8 years

PUMP N MUNCH

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 years

dawg I am not even going to open this

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

You ever just sit in your truck

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 years

explain yourself quickly 🤨

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

me, waltzing into my drs office after quitting my meds without telling her: Jane you arent going to Fucking believe this but i might have depression after all

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

hard cider is too sweet beer is gross unless it's a sour wine simply Is gin and tonics good this has been Alcohol Corner

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

GOTTA HAVE MY SPORT BEANS

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

every morning I wake up fresh and immediately beam the worst information the world has to offer me directly into my mind by opening this app

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

losing my mind

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

vibe check

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

so they want a baby to be born so that it can grow up to die in war...pretty normal!

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

my ascendant is pee pee but my sun and moon are poo poo

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

10 months

when the group chat is active and then goes silent after my reply it's like they are taking turns shooting me in the head with a gun

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

he loves going on rides in The Basket

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

y'all remember those little carrying cases for pringles

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

every couple days my roomie will walk into my room and say "scientists have made a new discovery" and hand me a sticky note with something stupid as hell on it

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 years

heres your fuckin chimp chimera tiktok @BoontaVista

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

if you buy from Whole Foods, Amazon or Instacart or Target you are spitting on us, support those who can't strike !

FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

DON'T cross the picket line tomorrow or I'll beat you to death

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

me when I have a crush: i can't stand you, you dirty son of a bitch

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

1 year

@misandrism instead of Doing All That they could just stay home and hang out on the couch it's crazy

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

wanna hear something you'll hate? i open my la criox and put it in the fridge so it will go flat and i can drink it without getting gassy

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

11 years

My mom loves checking up on me http://t.co/E3hFFrmRAe

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

haha you mind if i have diarrhea at ur place babe? aha

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

hahah ok im done after this

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

3 years

alright you've convinced me

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

Girls don't want heels and makeup,,, we want MECHSUITS

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

5 years

the back is open so you can poop

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

8 years

@mikefossey nothing is too tall for me to not be casual

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

@IllyBocean if i get robbed thats on me, they caught me slippin' and now i will learn from it

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

You call ME a SNACK???? I don't fucking think so

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

this is what my brain tells me constantly

evolbrew 

@EvolBrew

4 years

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

you'll retweet cats but not my son's , my boys

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

when i say im ugly im not talking about compared to other people, im talking about compared to me when im pretty hope this clears up anyone thinking i think im ugly

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

2 years

yooo i just realized i got the Griffith cut 😭

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

6 years

just called my dad and he said "girl, i just learned thAT PEE gets rid of fire-ants!!" and i was like dad have you been peeing on fire-ant beds For Real and he said "ITS FREE"

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FunnyJoke ComedyMan

@butt_sword

4 years

RISE UP